Until I Love Again (40 page)

Daett
and Hunter left them alone, and stayed at a distance.

“You're all grown-up!” Alice said as she studied Susanna. “You were so tiny when we saw you last, your little fingers curled around mine.” Alice's face clouded. “Oh, how we wished to see you again and again…but your father—”

“I know,” Susanna interrupted. “
Daett
is very sorry for what he did.”

“Sweet girl.” Alice pressed Susanna's hand tightly. “You are welcome in our world, but we respected our daughter's and your father's wishes, difficult as that was. I think the years aged me faster because of that decision, but I never felt we could back away from it.” Alice's face brightened. “I prayed often that this day would come, and now it has.”

“I'm glad this day has arrived too,” Susanna said with a slight laugh. “I'm still trying to get my head around the fact that you even exist.
Daett
never told me.”

“Now, just think,” Alice said. “We have the rest of our lives to make up for all those lost years.” Alice gave Susanna a tender look. “You'll be able to come often, won't you? I understand you're no longer Amish.”

“No, I'm not.” Susanna dropped her gaze to the ground.

“Come.” Alice stood to her feet. “There's no sense in being sorrowful on a day like this. Shall I show you the house?”

Alice didn't wait for an answer and led Susanna by the hand in through the back door. As they walked through the kitchen and dining room, the massive living room opened up in front of them with a vast expanse of ceiling. Susanna drew in a quick breath as she took in a beautiful antique piano near a stone fireplace.

Alice's gaze followed Susanna's eyes. “Can you play?” Alice asked.

Susanna approached the piano and pulled up the small bench. She seated herself and ran her fingers slowly over the keys. The sound trembled and hung for long moments in the heights of the ceiling. With greater assurance, Susanna played faster and yet more gently. She didn't stop even when the front door opened and she saw
Daett
and Hunter out of the corner of her eye.
Daett
would have to think what he wished. She was no longer his little Amish girl, and he might as well see who she had become. And had
Daett
not spoken of how her
Englisha mamm
played music, likely on this very piano?

Susanna's fingers stumbled at the thought, but she recovered herself. With renewed zeal she allowed the music to flow out of her. The sorrow of the past months, the pain of what had been left behind, the agony of impossible dreams, and the look in Joey's eyes that night he held her hand in the moonlight at the Osseos' pond. They all seemed to melt into one exquisite symphony.

Susanna felt hope enter her heart and let the emotion sweep through her. If there was sorrow in the world, there was also joy. If there was pain, the Lord had also supplied an escape. Could she not walk the road ahead of her, no matter where it led? Maybe
Daett
had brought her here today for that reason, even if he didn't fully understand why himself. Thankfulness filled her heart as the notes slowly died away. Susanna turned around with trembling hands to see Alice and Hunter both beaming. Even
Daett
had tears streaming down his face.

“You are the Lord's angel,” Alice said. “How many years has it been since I heard such music?” Alice wrapped Susanna in a tight embrace and didn't let go for a long time.

Daett
finally interrupted them when he loudly cleared his throat. “We have a long way back home, and we'd best be going now,” he said.

“So soon?” Alice protested.

“Susanna will come again,”
Daett
said. “She will come without me, of course.”
Daett
hung his head. “We really have to go.”

“You are welcome here anytime, Ralph,” Hunter said.

Daett
nodded but said nothing.

Alice and Susanna hugged again, and then Susanna turned to Hunter and gave him a hug as well. “I will come again,” she said to both of them.

“Thanks for bringing her, Ralph,” Alice said. “I can't thank you enough.”

“I am shamed greatly,”
Daett
muttered from halfway down the sidewalk.

Susanna hurried to catch up. Already
Daett
had begun to change from what he had been this morning. Did he regret his decision to bring her here? If he did, the deed was already done. He had opened up the way for her into a new life in ways even she could not fully understand. For that she would forever be grateful.

“Thank you for this day,” Susanna said as they climbed in the buggy.

Daett
hung his head and drove down the street without an answer. Susanna kept her silence. If
Daett
wished to mourn further she would respect him, but she was thankful for what he had given her.

“You play even better than she did,”
Daett
finally said.

“Why didn't you marry Mindy?” Susanna asked, and wished at once that she hadn't. She already knew the answer, and the pain that flashed across
Daett
's face cut deep into her heart.

“Following the Lord is a higher calling than human love.”
Daett
kept his gaze fixed on the road ahead. “I made my choice, but I should not have tried to make yours.”

“I also seek to follow the Lord,” Susanna whispered.

Daett
's face darkened, but he said nothing. There would always be a gulf between them. She was not to blame that the bridge to cross had not been built. Perhaps such a thing could never be, but at least they were at peace with each other.

Daett
looked at her and managed to smile as if in confirmation of Susanna's thoughts. “Do you plan to marry him?” he asked as they neared the outskirts of Heuvelton.

“He hasn't asked…yet,” Susanna said.

Daett
pulled back on the reins and slowed Charlie for the town's first stoplight. “I might as well make all my apologizes today,”
Daett
said. “So,
yah
, I'm also sorry about Ernest and the part I played in that mess.”

Susanna glanced at him. “It's in the past now, and I'm thankful you let me keep in touch with the family. It lessens the pain.”

Daett
didn't say anything for a moment. “You will always be my daughter,” he finally said.

Susanna reached over and took his hand.

Chapter Forty-One

A
s planned, Joey left for law school the next term. As the weeks sped by, Susanna was able to keep herself occupied with work at the bed-and-breakfast, plus she had taken on a few sewing jobs from
Englisha
women who either needed something mended or wanted a dress made from a fancy new pattern.

She also continued sewing for herself and now had several nice, modest dresses from which to choose.

Tonight she chose carefully. Joey was home for a long weekend and wanted to take her out to dinner. Susanna browsed through her closet and picked out an emerald green dress she had made just last week. She slipped it on and paused in front of the full-length mirror. A faint blush spread over her face. Not that long ago she wouldn't have dared more than a brief glance at herself in the mirror, even with a new dress. The glass above the dresser in the old farmhouse might have glared back at her.

Susanna looked away and then back again. She would be careful that pride didn't enter her heart even as she wore nice
Englisha
dresses, but she wished to appear her best tonight. Ever since Joey's call, she had felt butterflies in her stomach. One thing she
had requested of Joey—that supper be at Hunter and Alice's home in Ogdensburg.

“Whatever you work out is fine with me,” Joey had said.

She had made the arrangement at once to the Whithuses' great delight. She wanted to be with Joey around family rather than at some fancy
Englisha
restaurant, and she couldn't take him home to
Mamm
and
Daett
's.

For such a long time she had repeated over and over to others and to herself that Joey was just a friend, but now she had to admit to herself that he had become more than that.

Susanna blushed into the mirror at the thought. Joey was up to something. There had been a special light in his eyes when he was home for his most recent long weekend. It was the same gleam Joey had that moonlit night when they walked hand in hand around the Osseos' pond. That night she wasn't ready for Joey's words. Tonight she was ready.

A hunger for new horizons had crept over her these past weeks.
Daett
's revelation about her grandparents, the happy hours she had spent at their home in Ogdensburg since then, and the continued days spent helping
Mamm
had only added to the urge.

Henry had driven Charlotte Yoder home from the hymn singing just last month. The two were a charming couple, and
Mamm
had glowed with happiness when she shared the news. Such a life had been planned for Susanna, but it was not to be. She was glad for Henry and Charlotte, as she was for Ernest and Emma. Their wedding had occurred late in the wedding season—a hurried affair, no doubt—but Emma was now Ernest's
frau
. She, of course, hadn't been invited to the wedding, as she wouldn't be to any of the Amish weddings.

Things were the way they were, and she held no bitterness against the community. She was thankful she could freely go home during
the week. That might change after she owned her own car, but then again, maybe not. Deacon Herman and Bishop Enos seemed to go as far out of their way as they could to make things easy for her, but her attendance at weddings would definitely be across the line. Maybe she could visit with Henry and Charlotte on the day before their wedding—once the date was set.
Mamm
and
Daett
would try to involve her the best they could.

Susanna eyed the mirror again.

“It's
goot
enough,” she told the reflection.

Susanna opened the bedroom door and went out to the patio area, where several guests sat talking around a table.

“Hello everyone,” she greeted them. She had checked all of them in earlier. “Everything okay?”

“Splendid!” one of the men exclaimed.

“Off with someone special?” the man's wife teased.

Susanna smiled shyly, nodded, and then hurried on. Joey was always on time and should be in the driveway by now. A quick glance out to the lane confirmed her suspicions.

Rosalyn stepped up beside her. “Off for a big date?” she asked.

“
Yah
, but I'm so sorry about leaving you alone for the evening!” Susanna exclaimed. “I really am. I should stay and—”

Rosalyn stopped her. “No, you've worked hard and you deserve this. Run along and forget all about Osseos' for the evening.”

Susanna gave Rosalyn a long hug. “You have done so much for me.”

Rosalyn pushed her away gently. “Go, dear. Joey's waiting.”

Susanna nodded and headed up the driveway with slower steps. Joey didn't need to think she was overly eager, even when she wanted nothing more than for him to take her in his arms on sight.

“Hi there, beautiful,” Joey's voice called out.

“Hi, handsome,” she chirped.

Joey had stepped out of his car and came closer, his arms open. She rushed forward and allowed herself to fall into them. She pulled him close and rested her head on his shoulder. His arms closed snugly around her.

Delight flooded Joey's face when he peered down at her. “Now
that
was a welcome!” he pronounced.

“I've missed you so much,” she whispered. “You are such a sight for sore eyes.”

Joey laughed and held her at arm's length. “That would be true of you,” he said, “and not me. You are lovely, dear, with a beauty only the Lord could have given you.”

“Hush,” Susanna told him, and then climbed in the car before he could open the door for her. He hesitated only a second before he hopped in the other side.