Until Now (Not Yet #2) (8 page)

“No,” I said as I rubbed Finn’s arm. “I need to take him to the bathroom and brush his teeth. He ate a lot of candy.” Finn woke up and smiled at Dean, face still covered in chocolate.

“I can see that. Hey, little dude.”

Finn yawned. “I’m sleepy, Dean.”

I helped Finn in the bathroom and then got him tucked in his bed. Shutting the door to his room, I walked into the living room. Dean sat on my couch, his elbows resting on his knees.

“I hope you don’t mind that I came here, Red. I’d like to talk to you.” Dean’s voice was rough, and for some reason the lump was back in my throat. What was wrong with me around this guy?

I sat next to him on the couch. “It’s okay. Why did you leave your party so early?”

He turned to face me. “I never went. I’ve tried, but I can’t get you out of my head.”

“Dean, you don’t need to worry about me. Finn and I are fine. We’ve always been fine.” My anger rushed to the surface, and I felt hot all over.

Dean placed his large hand on my knee. “I’m not thinking about Finn. I mean, he’s great, of course, and I do think of him.” Dean ran his other hand through his hair and blew out a breath. “I’m thinking about you. I’m serious. All day long I wonder what you’re doing or what you’re thinking about.” Dean stood up and walked to the window, looking out into the dark sky. “My best friend was raised by a single mom. He wants me to stay away from you. He thinks you’ll be another game to me.” He didn’t face me. He continued staring out the window.

I stood up and moved behind him. The heat from his body warmed mine, even without touching. His smell was fresh and clean with only a hint of cologne. “Am I?” My voice was whisper soft, and he turned around; one step closer and our bodies would touch. I willed him to take that step. “A game to you? Is that what this is? You said it’s not pity or worry, so what is it?”

He took that step, his hand reaching to cup my jaw. My body tingled, charged with the nearness of him. “Attraction, Red. Not a game. Not pity. I don’t feel bad for you. You’re one of the toughest people I know. I want to know more. I want to be near you.”

I whimpered.

As soon as the noise escaped from my lips, I closed my eyes.
Shut up, Grace
. So much time had passed since I’d allowed a man to get close enough to truly
want
me. I nearly forgot the power behind that sentiment.

My knees weakened, and I trembled. His hand remained on my face, and when he felt me tremble, heard my whimper, registered that my eyes were closed—he reacted.

I didn’t see his lips come closer to mine, but I knew it was happening. Every other sense was magnified. I heard the sound of his breathing increase in speed. The smell of his cologne became intoxicating, and I felt the warmth of his chest as it pressed against me when he pulled me closer. Then his lips found mine, and he held them there, almost as if he was asking permission. My eyes fluttered open and I shifted, fisting his shirt in my hands, holding him to me.

I opened my mouth, and our tongues met, sliding together, exploring and tasting. I released his shirt and brought my hands up and around his neck. A moan erupted, and it took a few seconds before I realized it came from me. Dean groaned in answer, running his hands down my sides and along my back.

Neither of us would break the kiss. We moved, Dean pulling on my lower lip, biting gently. I ran my tongue along the edge of his lips, teasing and coaxing them back open. Then our mouths were fused together. The kiss became desperate. We communicated words we had never spoken to the other through that kiss. This was real. This was different. I knew enough from what I was feeling to be scared, but I was still not willing to stop. I held myself back from climbing his body, the ache inside me growing like a wildfire.

“Grace.” Dean pulled back, resting his forehead against mine as he gasped for air. “You feel that, right? It’s not just me?”

I laughed softly, kissing the corner of his mouth. “I feel it.”

He placed his hands on my hips, shifting me so he could look into my eyes. His blue eyes sparkled, and something inside me melted. “Let me get to know you. Let me in.”

He already was in he just didn’t know it. “Yes. I want to know you too.”

Dean smiled, and it was like the sun broke through from the night sky. “Okay. Tomorrow can I come by after Finn goes to bed? I figure you need to be around me more before you’re comfortable with me hanging with Finn. Maybe we could start by studying together?”

He sounded so unlike the Dean I imagined him to be. His voice and his demeanor were gentle. He was taking it slow, which I desperately needed, and he was allowing me to make the decisions that were right for my family.

I nodded, suddenly shy, which was silly considering I’d just kissed him with more passion than I knew existed inside of me.

His lips tilted up, and he kissed my lips softly. “Lock up behind me, Red.”

And he was gone. Out the door and into the night but slowly making his way into my heart.

Chapter Nine

Dean

I HELD OFF until eight thirty before I knocked on the door. I’d waited all day for this. My body was keyed up, the anticipation of seeing her coursing through me. I had guessed—correctly, it seemed—that she wouldn’t want Finn to see me over at her place right away. She would need to trust me before she let Finn spend more time with me.

I intended for exactly that to happen. I couldn’t explain what was happening to me. I had never felt an attraction like this. In a strange way I was proud of her. I barely knew her, but I knew enough. She was doing it all. Grace was a mom, a student, she worked a job, and made a home for her family. She was so quiet and small and yet her strength was overpowering.

Some guys would say being interested in a girl with a kid didn’t make much sense. For me, it wasn’t an issue. Maybe because Grace and Finn were
real
. Grace wasn’t fake like so many of the girls I “dated.” Grace and Finn were honest and funny, and I found myself wanting to be near them—both of them.

My family was fucking awesome. Seeing this little family stirred something in me that I didn’t know I wanted. A sense of protectiveness overwhelmed me. I needed to make sure nothing ever hurt her or Finn. Especially me. I would never hurt them.

Grace opened the door with a smile. “Hey.” She let me in and then locked up behind me. Her hair hung free, falling down her back in waves. I’d never seen it down before, and I had the uncontrollable urge to wrap my hands in it and bring her close to me. She wore IU sweatpants and a long-sleeved white shirt. Brown-framed glasses sat on her nose.
Holy. Fuck.
I had never, in all of my twenty-one years, thought glasses looked sexy on a girl. But on Grace? My entire body thrummed from the sight of her, and I blew out a breath to try to calm myself down.

“How was your day?” I followed her to the couch and sat down next to where she had her laptop open and several books laid out. Running my palms along my jeans, I wiped away my sweat. Was I… nervous?

Grace’s eyes softened at my question. She sat next to me, her fingers knotted together. “Good, thanks. The usual. Classes, work, picked up Finn. We ate, and he played for a while before bed.” She turned to face me. “How was your day?”

It hit me that as much time as I spent with the opposite sex, I wasn’t sure I’d ever checked on someone like this. I never wanted to know how their day had gone. Everything was different with Grace. “It was good.” My words rumbled out of my chest, and I brought my thumb to her lip, running it across the bottom. Her lips opened, and she kissed my thumb.

My body jolted. She hadn’t even used her tongue, and I was hard as a rock. “Grace,” I pleaded. I couldn’t study. Not yet. I had to taste her. I had to feel that connection again.

Grace slipped her glasses off her face and moved closer to me.

“You look sexy as hell in those glasses, Red.” I moved even closer to her until I felt her breath wash over my face.

She wrinkled her nose and leaned back. “No way.”

“Yes, way. But it’s good you took them off.” I cupped both hands around her face and lowered my head until our lips met. We started the kiss with tender movements, but when the fire raced through my blood, I was lost. I groaned, and she opened her mouth to me. Our tongues slid together, each meeting the other with matching ferocity. Our hands moved everywhere in an attempt to feel everything all at once. Hers moved from my arms to my hair, tangling in the strands, pulling me to her. Mine traveled from her face down to her hips, along her rib cage, her back, and then finally moving into those long strands of red hair, just like I had imagined.

“Mmmm,” Grace moaned against my lips, and when I pulled back to look at her, my dick swelled at the sight of her swollen red lips. I pictured her lips on me, and I wanted to beat my chest and grunt.

We were both breathless, but I couldn’t take my hands off her. I couldn’t stop watching her, dark pink cheeks, the way her eyes were hooded. Her fingertips traced her lips, almost as if she wanted to feel them because they were plump from our rough kisses.

“I guess we better study, huh?” I chuckled, and Grace took a deep breath, putting her glasses back on her face.

“Sorry. I got carried away.” Grace’s voice was hesitant, and she looked down at her hands again.

I scooped her up onto my lap. “One thing I need you to do for me, Red.” She waited, head cocked to the side. “Never feel embarrassed around me. Especially about wanting to touch me or kiss me.” I shifted her back a little so that she would feel how much I wanted her.

Bingo.

Her eyes widened, and then her face flushed red. She closed her eyes and licked her lips. “Oh.” She swallowed, and I considered moving her again so that she would be straddling me and could feel me even better. But that was too much for tonight. Grace needed me to behave and move slowly.

“You got me, Red?” I kissed her softly on the lips.

Grace opened her eyes and nodded. “Time to study, right?”

I moved her next to me, placing an arm around her shoulder. “What’s your major?” I couldn’t believe how little I knew about her. I wanted to know everything. Every little detail that made up her whole.

“Business. Yours?” She moved a book onto her lap and handed me a bottle of water.

I took a long drink before answering. “Marketing. I’m graduating this December, a semester early.”

Grace opened her textbook and smiled. “Whoa. And here I pegged you for a dumb jock when we first met. Look at you, graduating early. How were you able to manage that along with playing football for a team like IU?”

I rubbed my thumb along the soft material on her shoulder. “I’ve taken summer classes since freshman year. I’m hoping to get drafted this spring, so I knew if I wanted to graduate with a degree, I’d need to do it early.”

Grace’s eyes widened. “Wow, the NFL. That’s so exciting, Dean. Although after watching you play at that game, I understand why. You were fantastic.”

“Thanks, Red,” I grinned and opened my book.

Grace took a drink of water, and I watched her swallow. I wasn’t going to get any studying done at this rate. I also didn’t give a shit.

“Can I ask you a favor?” Grace asked.

“Of course.” I moved to face her.

Grace marked her place in her text with a pencil and shut the book. “When I took Finn to the game to see you, he asked me all about football. I didn’t know how to answer many of his questions. Would you teach me so that I can help him understand the game?”

Two things happened at the same time. My chest heated with the thought that I could help Grace and that she trusted me enough to ask me for this. My stomach sank, though, when I realized that if she was asking me for help, she couldn’t or wouldn’t ask Finn’s dad.

“Grace, I’d be happy to do that. I can teach Finn the basics too if you want.” I laced my fingers with hers. If I was going to get to know all of her, and if she was going to let me in, I had to continue. “You can’t ask Finn’s dad?”

Grace closed her eyes and inhaled a big breath, blowing it out slowly. “Dean, I’ll tell you. I promise. This is mortifying to say to you because it solidifies my nerd status, but tonight is the best night I’ve had in so long… I can’t right now. Okay?”

This was the best night she’d had in a long time? We just kissed. We were attempting to study together. Pain shot through my chest when I contemplated how tough Grace’s life was, and how easy I had it. I wanted to make her feel better. I wanted to heal her and touch her and…

But I would wait. “Okay, Red.” I kissed each corner of her mouth. “Then let me hold you tonight. When you’re ready to talk, just know I’m here.”

I meant every word. No matter where football took me, I wanted to be there for Grace. At the very least, as a friend. But after kissing her, I hoped it would be as a whole lot more than just friends.

***

“WHO WANTS PIZZA?” I walked into Grace’s apartment carrying a liter of soda and three large pizza boxes. I’d eat at least one all by myself. Our team was leaving the next day for an away game in Maryland. I’d be gone for a few days, so when Grace invited me to join her and Finn for movie night, I was stoked.

“Pizza’s my favorite food!” Finn shouted, and I shot Grace a wink.

“Your sweet mama told me that, Just Finn.” I placed the boxes on the coffee table and leaned over to kiss Grace’s cheek. “You good, Red?”

She blushed.

That woman made me hard from her damn blush. Also from speaking. Oh, and from kissing my thumb.

Okay, anything Grace did made me hard.

Grace nodded, a soft smile spreading across her face before she headed into the kitchen. She came back with plates, napkins, and cups.

“Do you like the
Minions
movie, Dean?” Finn held up a DVD. “Miss Sylvie gave me this one for my birthday!”

“I haven’t seen it, but it looks cool. Put it in.” I sat back on the sofa and flipped open the box of cheese pizza. “When’s your birthday, little dude?”

“September twenty-second!” He jumped up and down. “I didn’t have a party this year cause Mama is in school, but next year she will have a job, and I get a party! I want to have a pool party. No, a bouncy-house party. No, a football party.” He stopped jumping and looked down at his feet. “Would you come if I have a football party?”