Untimely You (22 page)

I
t’s been three weeks.

Three weeks since we tried to fix what was broken.

Three weeks since Adrian threw the snow globe and shattered my heart. Not because he broke the damn thing. But because when emotional times are rough, he pushes me out. He doesn’t explain. His heart hurts and he won’t let me hold it until it eases.

“Want to go to lunch?” Paul questions from the doorway, interrupting my dismal thoughts.

I lift my eyes from my computer and frown. Eric made good on his promise. He had me transferred to the accounting department. Bonnie is an okay boss, but I’ll be glad when I can do this publishing gig full time. I’m getting closer.

“Uh, sure.” I pick up my purse from the floor. “Where are we going?”

“El Loritos?”

My stomach churns and I quickly shake my head. This morning sickness has been a nightmare. And even though it’s after eleven, well past normal morning sickness time, I still can’t think about Mexican food without turning green.

“Bagel sandwiches?” I quip.

His eyes narrow and he nods. “Are you okay?”

Flashing him a false smile, I follow out after him. Adrian has tried to call me a few times since New York. Mostly he just texts me. In some he’s sweet. Others, he’s angry. But in most of them he apologizes. None of them does he explain what’s going on inside that head of his. Eric told me Adrian needs to get through the spell he’s in. That I just need to put some distance between the two of us until then.

I wonder if he’d feel that way if he knew I was pregnant with Adrian’s child.

Self-consciously, I smooth out the front of my silk shirt and wonder if I’m showing. I know at home, I notice the slight swell when I’m undressed. I’m hoping nobody notices it though.

“Nees,” Eric calls from behind me.

I startle but smile when I see him. “What’s up?”

“Can I talk to you privately? Maybe over lunch?”

My eyes flit over to Paul and he shrugs. “I wanted Mexican anyway. I’ll get Carey to go with me instead.”

I mouth a thank you to him and then look back at Eric. “Is something wrong?”

He frowns and it ages him a good ten years. “Adrian. He’s not doing well.”

My belly flops at the mention of his name. I have managed to keep from seeing him since New York. But I’ve craved to march right into his office and make him stop hating himself, so he can love me instead.

It hasn’t happened, though—I never have the nerve.

So instead, I hide.

“Is he at work?”

He smirks. “Yeah, and he shouldn’t be.”

“Why not?”

His eyes close and he clenches his jaw. “Somehow, in the past three hours since he’s been here, he’s managed to get shit-faced drunk. I’m afraid he’ll leave his office and make a fool out of himself. Do you think you can talk to him? Get him to eat? Maybe drink a fuck-ton of coffee?”

The butterflies in my stomach multiply by the hundreds. I do want to see him. “Okay. But get me a bagel with ham and cheese. I’m not feeling so hot myself.”

“You got it, Captain.” He pulls me in for a quick hug and kisses the top of my head. “You’re something special, Nees. And if Adrian doesn’t ever figure out just how special you are, someone else will.”

It’s then that I wonder if I could ever care for someone such as Eric like I do for Adrian. Doesn’t seem possible.

He releases me and strides off. With a deep breath, I make my way toward Adrian’s office.

“Come in,” he slurs when I knock on the door.

I crack open the door and then slip in. He’s a mess. His dark hair hangs in his bloodshot eyes, desperately overdue for a haircut. A shadow of unshaven hair on his cheeks makes him look slightly unhinged. The tie he always wears has been removed and tossed on his desk. All of the pictures of his family are face down. My heart aches for him.

“Vodka?” I question with my back against the door.

His eyes dart up to mine and he winces. Almost as if it physically hurts him to see me. “Crazy?”

A smile tugs at my lips. “You’re drunk, Wacko.”

He groans, scrubbing his hairy cheeks with his palms. “Just a little to take the edge off.”

My gaze flits to the bottle that’s over half gone. “Mmm hmm.”

“God’s punishing me,” he tells me, a harsh laugh following his words. “He took away the one I love, only to give me one I love, only to take away my first love, only to make me feel guilty about loving my new love.”

His rambling breaks my heart.

“If only you’d come to me a year from now. Things would have been much simpler. But you didn’t, Nees. It’s you,” he grumbles. “You’re…”

“Untimely?”

He slaps the desk. “Exactly.”

Tears sting my eyes. “I told you, I’d wait for you…”

He stands and stumbles my way. I crave for him to pull me into his arms. To tell me everything will be okay. That I don’t have to wait any longer. That he wants me and our baby.

“What if I don’t want you to wait for me?” he questions. His body heat invades my senses and I lean toward him, needing to breathe in his masculine scent.

When I lift my hand to touch his cheek, he takes a step back as if he’s afraid I’ll electrocute him.

“Adrian,” I say, my voice quivering, “you’re going through a terrible time. You’ll feel better one day. It’ll get better. I want to be there for you.”

He runs his fingers through his hair. “That was the best thing you could’ve done for me that night. Kicking me out of your hotel room. I was losing it, beautiful.”

His words make me wince.

“As much as I want you, you’re a source of my anger too,” he admits, a painful look marring his handsome face.

My heart aches at his words. “We can figure this out.”

He shakes his head and a tear slides down my cheek. “Like I said before, you deserve more.”

“You don’t mean that. I know you don’t mean that. Plus,” I say and flutter my fingertips across my belly, “we’re going to be a family one day.”

My words seem to set him off because he stalks over to me and grips my biceps. “I have a family, Bernice Noble.” The way he says the words is like he’s spitting them at me. “I don’t need you.”

Tears keep streaking down my cheeks. His brown eyes are flickering with anger. I make him angry, he’d said.

“Adrian…”

You don’t have a choice. I’m carrying your child.

Irritation makes his brows furl together. His accusatory gaze shatters what bit of my heart I have left. When he clenches his teeth together and a coolness settles over his features, I know I’ve lost him for good. “Nees,” he growls. “Stop trying and stop fucking waiting. Move on.
Please
.” As he utters his last word, his face softens ever so slightly. But only for a moment before he shields his heart from mine indefinitely.

The door clicks open behind us and I jerk out of Adrian’s grip. Eric stands in the doorway carrying a sack full of food but frowning.

“You’re making a mistake,” I choke out, my gaze back on Adrian.

He hardens his features. “Goodbye.”

I shoulder past Eric and run. They shout behind me. Glass breaks. I can even hear one of them grunting.

But I don’t look back.

He doesn’t want me to wait for him. So I won’t. I’m just glad I didn’t saddle him with the responsibility of knowing he’s a father to this baby. I don’t know that I could bear him rejecting his child too.

“Miss Noble?”

I yawn and roll over to look at the clock. Eight on the dot. “Yeah?”

“The underwriters approved your business loan. Please, come in today, and we’ll get all of the paperwork signed. I wanted to personally let you know the good news.”

After some shrieking on my part, the loan assistant gives me the information I need and I’m all set for an appointment this afternoon. I’m dying to tell someone, but after last week with Adrian in his office and a week of silence between us, he isn’t that someone.

Instead, I text the person who’s been consoling me through all of this.

Me: I got the loan!

His response is immediate.

Eric: Congrats, Nees! We should celebrate.

I’m already running through the house hunting for clothes for my appointment.

Me: I have so much to do today…OMG.

Eric: I’ll leave work early. Whatever you need help with, I’ll do what I can. Leaving the office now. Be ready.

I let out a laugh. He’s becoming a pretty good friend. And he’s my only link to Adrian, so I take it. Yes, Adrian broke my heart. But I can’t simply forget about him. It just isn’t that easy.

The rest of the day is a blur of stress and excitement. Eric was true to his word, helping me when things got hairy at the closing, suggesting some commercial realtors to me, and then going with me to look at a few buildings.

“Now can we celebrate?” he asks, a dark eyebrow quirked up as he glances over at me.

I laugh but it’s hollow. My career is taking off, but I’m too busy fretting over Adrian to be excited.

“We can celebrate by you feeding me.”

I stare at the key in my hand.

A building.

I bought a building.

“Having second thoughts?” Eric asks as he plops down on the couch beside me.

“About this party?” I groan.

He laughs and slings his arm over the back of the couch. “No, this is your official celebration. Dinner two weeks ago doesn’t count. Besides, you didn’t even drink. Tonight we’re getting you fucked up.”

I grimace at the idea of drinking alcohol. I’m going to have to tell them about the pregnancy.

“Neesy, are you having second thoughts about the building? I thought you loved that it had the apartment above. It was perfect. Shit, you even cried,” he reminds me with a chuckle.

There are several people from the office milling about his living room. My eyes keep going to the door. Just hoping I’ll get a glimpse of Adrian. Yet, he never shows.

“I didn’t cry. The place was dusty. I had dust in my eye,” I say with a pout.

His lips quirk up in a half-grin and he leans closer to me so he can pinch my cheek. “Our secret.”

I’m chuckling when a deep voice rumbles. A voice that haunts me in both my sleep and waking hours. Adrian Hocksted. “What secret?”

When I glance up, he’s standing in the middle of the living room with his arms crossed over his bulky chest wearing a scowl. Heat floods through me. I know my face is red—from embarrassment, desire, guilt. I don’t know what.

“Hey, man,” Eric greets.

Adrian’s gaze flickers to where Eric’s arm is stretched out on the cushions behind me. “Hey.”

Eric stands and pats Adrian on his shoulder on the way to the kitchen. “I was about to get her a drink. Want one?”

Adrian shakes his head. “I’m not drinking anything lately.”

I tug at my oversized sweater hoping he doesn’t notice my growing belly. The rejection is still a fresh wound and I don’t need him picking at it.

Adrian sits on the coffee table across from me. He rests his elbows on his knees and just stares. His pained eyes are all over me. Drinking me in. Assessing me. Apologizing to me. It makes my chest ache.

“I hear congratulations are in order,” he says and nods his head toward my lap.

My heart throbs to life and threatens to rip from my chest. How does he know about the baby? Tears well in my eyes. “I was going to tell you. It’s just that I wasn’t sure how you’d handle it. Are you upset?”