Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century (29 page)

* For the first (root) chakra: lum, lum, lum, lum, lum

* For the second (sex) chakra: vum, vum, vum, vum, vum

* For the third (solar plexus) chakra: rum, rum, rum, rum, rum

* For the fourth (heart) chakra: yum, yum, yum, yum, yum

* For the fifth (throat) chakra: hum, hum, hum, hum, hum

* For the sixth (third eye) and seventh (crown) chakra: om, om, om, om, om

Start on a low pitch for “lum” and raise the pitch for each successive syllable and chakra.

The Heart Connection: Hands to Hearts

Doing a chakra chant with a partner opens, energizes, and harmonizes your energetic body with your partner’s.

Add Kegels
. When you add Kegels to the Heart Connection, you activate sexual energy deep down in the lower chakras and pump it up to the heart, where it can be shared with your partner.

Rock back and forth
. After you have been doing the Heart Connection for a little while, you may find that you have started to rock back and forth. Keep it going! This movement will build your sexual energy and get it flowing between you and you partner. As the rocking becomes faster and more intense, take your hands off each other’s hearts and hold them together between you in a prayer position, joining all four hands
between you both. As you rock, move your joined hands in circles, sending energy up the front of your body and down the front of your partner’s. Then reverse, sending energy up the front of your partner’s body and down the front of yours.

The Heart Connection: Rocking Back and Forth

Warning: Activation of this much heart energy can
(
and, it is hoped, will
)
produce a major change of consciousness. Your partner’s face may look as if it is changing right in front of you. You may experience massive gigglegasms. You may shed a few tears. It’s all good
.

Back to Back

Sit back-to-back with your partner, with your backs, heads, and buttocks touching. Breathe. Without using your hands, explore each other’s back. Rub, undulate, and caress. Try to feel every contour of your partner’s back, buttocks, neck, and head.

Without breaking contact, return to sitting still and upright. With electric vibrators, each of you will now vibrate your own chakras on the front of your body. Start at the root chakra and work your way up your body, chakra by chakra. Make sounds. Allow the vibrations to soften and open each of your chakras. Feel your chakras melt into your partner’s.

Spread the Energy Around

Become aware of your entire body by focusing on small areas at a time, or by turning your attention inward and “scanning” your body from toes to head. Are there any areas that are numb or “missing”? Are there any spots that are tense or cramping? Those spots are blocking the flow of your energy like a crimp in a garden hose blocks the flow of water. In order to experience the earth-shaking, consciousness-altering sex you want, you must keep sexual energy moving throughout your entire body. Partners can be enormously helpful with this. Here are some ways to spread energy around:

* Exchange a sensual or erotic massage (see chapters 16 through 18). Build energy in your partner’s genitals and spread it up their body and down their arms and legs.

* Kiss up your partner’s body from toes to lips. Remember the Resilient Edge of Resistance—if your kisses are too soft or too hard, they may be more ticklish than delicious.

* Flog your partner. Flogging adds intensity, wakes up the system, and releases emotional and physical tension. Flogging does not have to be painful! In fact, some suede floggers are so soft that they would not be capable of causing pain no matter how hard you tried; rather, the receiver experiences a very yummy thud.

Yab Yum/Sitting Position

This classic Tantric position can be done with or without penetration. One partner sits in an easy cross-legged posture or with legs extended in any comfortable position, with a cushion under their tailbone. The other partner sits in their lap, with legs wrapped around their waist and soles of feet touching. For your comfort, be sure to have cushions of various sizes available, for use in different positions.

Both partners place their right hand at the back of their partner’s neck and their left hand on their partner’s tailbone or lower back. Breathe together and let the energy build.

Yab Yum

VARIATIONS ON YAB YUM

Yab Yum is a considerably powerful position. Experiment with these variations, then invent your own.

Leg positions
. Unless you want penetration, you do not need to sit in your partner’s lap. Even if you do want penetration, you can sit with your legs outstretched over your partner’s outstretched legs. You can even sit on chairs. Sit in any position that is comfortable and allows you to get close to your partner. Yab Yum can also be done if one partner is in a wheelchair. However, the partner sitting on top must make sure to move frequently enough to avoid cutting off circulation in their partner’s legs.

Breathing in opposition
. With mouths touching, as in a kiss, breathe into each other’s mouth. One partner breathes in while the other breathes out. This can take a moment to coordinate, but it’s worth it. The effect is powerfully trance-inducing. Or, touch your foreheads together, third eye to third eye. Breathe in and out together.

Moving energy up the spine
. Draw your left hand up along your partner’s spine, from the tailbone to the neck. When your left hand reaches the neck, use your right hand to move the energy up from the neck to the top of the head. Once your hand reaches the top of the head, keep going, moving the energy a foot above the head before placing your hands back in the original position. As you get more and more turned on and active, you may find yourself rocking back and forth passionately. This stroke can be done as quickly and intensely as you like.

Penetration
. In the Yab Yum position, you can use a penis, a dildo, a double dildo, or an anal plug for vaginal or anal penetration (see the “Safer Sex” section in
chapter 11
). Squeeze your PC muscle and visualize a circle of energy enveloping you and your partner. With each inhale and exhale, feel the sexual energy amplifying in you and around you. Imagine the two of you being held in an erotic egg of perfect safety and divine pleasure.

Your partner can turn around so that you can penetrate them from the rear. In this position, you can play with their clitoris or cock. But don’t stop there—stimulate all their chakras with a vibrator.

Fuck really fast. Then just stop. Do nothing, and just feel.

Sitting Open-Eyed Clench and Holds

Doing simultaneous open-eyed Clench and Holds with a partner is not only fabulous fun, it’s also great practice for keeping your eyes open during all sorts of orgasms.

Sit facing each other. Begin with eye gazing. Breathe together using the Heart Breath or the Circular Breath (see
chapter 4
). Rock back and forth. Breathe and move to build energy—really go for it. Breathe fuller and faster breaths. When you have built up a lot of energy, take a deep breath and hold it. Stare into each other’s eyes and clench your buttocks, abs, and PC muscles.

After about fifteen seconds, let go. Keep your eyes open, and look into your partner’s eyes. After a while, either fall backward (away from each other) and close your eyes, or begin breathing again and go for another Clench and Hold—or two or three or more!

Tantric Fucking

There is no such thing as a uniquely Tantric position in which to fuck. If you want a few exciting options, an illustrated copy of the
Kama Sutra
will surely give you some inspiration. The
Kama Sutra
is not actually a Tantric text, although over the centuries, some of the lovemaking positions have been reinterpreted in a Tantric way. It is easy to be intimidated by the number and complexity of sexual poses in the
Kama Sutra
. Many of these positions derive from hatha yoga; and like yoga, positions vary from the simple to the simply outrageous. All of these positions can be reduced to a manageable number of basic postures. The four basic lovemaking positions are

* One lover on top, the other on his/her back

* Both lovers on their sides, facing each other

* One lover with his/her back to the other

* Both lovers in a seated position, usually face to face

Others positions are simply variations on a theme. The most important part of any posture is not how elaborately athletic it is, but how well it facilitates the flow of sexual energy. Key points of connection are the partners’ eyes, hands, tongues, breasts, soles of feet, and genitals.

Sex is energy, and energy travels in circuits. When we come together in genital union, our bodies form the most intimate and powerful of energy circuits; sensation is increased and energy is exponentially multiplied.

The art is not in how Tantric a position is, but how Tantrically you fuck in any position
.

Whether you fuck in front, in back, on top, on the bottom, upside down, or right-side up; whether you use dildos, anal plugs, hands, cocks, vaginas, anuses, or mouths, you will be fucking Tantrically if you fuck consciously. What does this mean?

* It means you are breathing.

* It means your attention is focused on your intention. If your intention is to pleasure someone’s clitoris, you stay focused on the clitoris and your partner’s response to each of your touches.

* It means you are present in the moment and not focusing on some future orgasmic goal.

* It means you are fucking at the Resilient Edge of Resistance—whether your fucking is wild, hard, and loud, or soft, slow, and delicate.

Fuck beyond penetration. Fuck with your hands or your mouth. Combine oral sex with the Erotic Awakening Massage strokes you’ll learn in chapters 16 through 18. Combine as many Tantric techniques as you can. Use the power of your imagination. Be creative!

If you have been practicing solo Tantra, you should have a pretty good idea of your most sensitive and receptive erogenous zones. Consciously try positions that will give you the maximum amount of stimulation in those areas. If you love to have your prostate massaged, you could be fucked by a finger or a cock or a dildo or an anal plug. The question is,
how
do you like your prostate massaged? Fast? Slow? With lots of pressure, or with a very light touch? Experiment with your partner until your techniques match your desires.

Mix hard and soft styles in the same position. You can hold your lover down forcefully while you kiss them ever so gently. This is a fast and fabulous way to build a lot of erotic heat.