Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century (35 page)

The strokes we will use to concentrate and distribute the energy are circles and U-shaped strokes. A
U
is a glide with your palm from the belly or heart or perineum out to both arms or both legs. For example, from the heart, you glide from the nipple down to the knee, back up to the same nipple, over to the other nipple, and then down to the other knee. From the belly or perineum, it’s the same: glide from the belly or perineum to the knee, back up to where you began, and then down to the other knee. Circles concentrate energy;
U
s distribute them. Use a circular stroke on the belly or heart or perineum to concentrate sexual energy in those areas, and then use a
U
to distribute that energy further.

Gather your latex gloves and grab some lube (or if he prefers massage oil, grab your vinyl gloves), and let’s get started.

Starting with a Sensual Massage

Invite your person with a penis to lie on his back. Invite him (or order him, if that’s the style you’ve both agreed upon) to breathe.

Begin with a sensual massage. Try tantalizing him with a feather or a scarf. One touch that many men find deliciously awakening is a light brushing over the top of any body hair they may have. When you are ready to begin the sensual massage strokes, you can use cornstarch, oil, or just your bare hands. You do not need to put on your gloves until you are about to touch his cock. Take your time with the sensual massage. The key to all erotic massage is relaxation. It may sound strange to hear that you want your partner to be totally relaxed if you want to be sexual with them, but it’s true. After he is completely relaxed, you can add any amount of conscious tension you want. This is
much better for eroticism than being driven or blocked by the many little unconscious tensions we all carry around most of the time.

Help your partner maintain an even, conscious breath by breathing evenly and consciously yourself. Matching your breath to your partner’s is a surefire way to instant intimacy. After you have relaxed his body, you can start to wake up the genital area. Many men focus most of their awareness on the glans—the head of the penis. Waking up the area around the penis opens the energetic pathways between the cock and the rest of the body.

The Penis

You can tug on his pubic hair, just not one hair at a time! Grab fingerfuls of it and lift. You can scratch vigorously in his pubic hair. Knead the whole pubic symphysis—the flesh over the pubic bone. Gently take the skin between your thumb and forefinger and knead it.

Now tickle or gently tug on the hair of the scrotum. If the skin of the scrotum is fairly loose, you can knead it. Don’t knead the testicles, just the scrotal skin. Knead it between your finger and thumb, stretching it until you find the Resilient Edge of Resistance—that is, until you feel it start to pull back.

The Cock Strokes

Now it’s time to put on your gloves and begin the cock strokes.

Cock Shiatsu
. This is a great wake-up stroke. Grasp the head of his cock and stretch it to its full length. Cocks are elastic—they stretch quite easily. Hold his cock in the stretched position between finger and thumb. Using your other hand, squeeze a finger width at a time from base to glans and back. You can work quite deeply. You can do this laterally (from the sides) and then along the top and bottom (dorsal and ventral). This is a stroke to awaken the entire shaft of the penis and to open the channel of the shaft so that the pleasurable energy from the cock can run up into the rest of his body. From a reflexology perspective, this deep tissue awakening also stimulates and awakens all of the energy points of the rest of the body.

Pulling Back the Skin

Pulling Back the Skin
. Here’s a basic technique you’ll use in many of the strokes. You’ll be pulling back all the skin covering the penis, not just the foreskin. Grasp the head (glans) between thumb and fingers. Firmly stretch the cock upward until there is some resistance. (As my Chester says, “Penises are not made of china. They do not break. You are not pulling it off. You are just finding out how far it stretches.”) Use your other hand to pull the loose skin down and hold it at the base where the penis meets the body. Anytime the instructions that follow tell you to “pull back the skin” or “pull back the skin and hold it at the base,” this is the technique you’ll use. It can
be done with both circumcised and uncircumcised men. You may want to check with uncut men to find out if they want their foreskin retracted; most do.

Now it’s time to sensuously apply oil or lube to the insides and tops of the thighs, making sure the cock and the balls are sufficiently oiled. Use extra lube or oil wherever there is more hair.

Rock around the Cock Clock
. Lay the penis on the belly and—with both hands—stroke it from base to glans in a continuous motion. Your hands can be flat or wrapped around the shaft. Slowly move the cock from the twelve o’clock position (pointing straight up to the navel) to the one o’clock position, and so on, around the clock. At four o’clock, slide off the cock and onto the inside of the thigh, pushing energy into the leg. At six o’clock, wrap your hands around the cock. (If he is already rigidly erect, six o’clock may point straight up to the ceiling rather than downward toward the feet.) Go all the way around the clock. For some variations, go counterclockwise, or stroke your hands in opposite directions on the cock. Your left hand pulls the skin back and holds it at the base of the cock; your right hand glides out from the base, along the shaft, and grasps the glans. While the right hand hold the glans, your left hand grasps the shaft just behind the glans and glides from the back of the glans back to the base. Repeat. Continuous, slow motion makes this particularly delectable.

Twist and Shout
. This is another very popular stroke. Pull back the skin with one hand, squeeze the shaft with your whole other hand, and pull with a twisting motion. As you pull, your hand will slide up the shaft and off the head. It feels best when done deeply and slowly. This stroke usually produces cringing and gasps of horror when demonstrated in front of people without penises. But really, the penis will not break. People with penises enjoy this stroke when it’s done with some real intensity. Ask him. He will probably encourage you to do it harder and deeper.

The Corkscrew
. This is a variation on twist and shout. You are going to pretend that the head of the cock is a cork you’re trying to pop out of a wine bottle. Pull back the skin and hold it at the base. With the penis between the knuckles of your index and middle finger, squeeze, twist, and pull. You can also play with the “cork” at the end of the stroke instead of popping it off.

Fire
. This is a high-energy stroke. Hold the cock straight out from his body between the flat palms of both your hands. Using lots of lube, move your hands in opposite directions with deep friction. Use medium-to-deep pressure. This can be done rapidly, or
very deeply and slowly. Alternating between the two tempos usually produces loud moans of delight.

Hand Jive
. This stroke is a cousin to the fire stroke. Hold the cock between both palms and interlace all your fingers. With your hands clamped together, stroke up and down the shaft. Use your thumbs to play with the head a bit. As a variation, you can hold your hands still and let him fuck your fists.

Juicer

Juicer
. This is another “pull back the skin” stroke. Pull back the skin and hold it at the base. With the other hand, act as if you were juicing an orange on his cock. Use your fingertips to make a fast circular motion to “juice” up and down all along the shaft. This stroke builds and moves energy all along the shaft. When your fingers are far down on the shaft, the palm will be making slippery contact with the glans and urethral meatus (piss slit). Pay special attention to the coronal ridge (back edge of the head). You can lightly tease it with your fingernails or simply slide your fingertips all around it.

ARE WE BREATHING?

You may be giving a great massage, but are you breathing consciously? Breathe more, and it’ll feel even better—to both of you. Take a long, full, deep, audible breath. This will encourage your partner to breathe. If that doesn’t do it, just threaten to stop
the massage until he does breathe. This is nearly 100 percent effective as a breath-maximization tool.

THIS IS NOT A HAND JOB

These cock strokes are not designed to get him off as fast as possible—quite the opposite! You want to build up a maximum amount of energy while avoiding ejaculation. To do this, use many different tempos and pressures, and change them frequently. Alternate high-energy strokes with calmer ones. Alternate strokes that focus on the glans with strokes that focus more on the shaft. Mix it up—keep him guessing! In addition, remember the body strokes. Spread that sexual energy up from his cock, into his belly and heart, and out to his arms and legs.

If at any time the receiver feels close to ejaculation, tell him to shake his body. He cannot ejaculate while he is vibrating his legs, arms, and face.

BACK TO THE COCK STROKES

Now, let’s pick up where you left off. Here are some more cock strokes.

Hairy Palm
. Grasp the cock with one whole hand. Grasp the base if he is erect, or hold it just behind the head if he is not. Holding the palm of your other hand flat, glide it in a light, circular motion directly on the urethral meatus. It is too intense for some men even if done lightly; other men like it quite hard. You can vary the stroke by rotating your wrist so that your flat palm glides around the meatus on the soft tissue of the glans. My favorite variation on this stroke is to hold the palm still and scrape the palm with the glans.

Heeling
. This is done with the heel of your palm. Lay his cock on his belly. Place your hand flat on the penis, fingers pointed toward his feet. Using the heel of your palm, glide from the head to the base, pressing the cock into the belly. Think of the belly as an ironing board and the heel of the palm as an iron, and iron all the wrinkles out of the cock. You’ll notice that when you focus the pressure on the heel of your palm, his piss slit will bend up and kiss your wrist.