“You fucking dog Jax.”
“Jade, please…She only told me recently.”
“How long have you known?”
He looks at Bella, then back to me. “I found out while I was away recently, I met him twice in those months I left.”
“And in all our conversation, you didn’t think about telling me? Honestly?” I scream.
Bella grasps her son and pulls him close. I look at the boy, poor child, he doesn’t deserve this. I swallow and glance at him.
“What is your name, honey?”
He looks at me and then up at Bella. She nods.
“It’s Aiden.”
“It’s lovely to meet you Aiden,” I whisper, walking over and keeling in front of him. He is a gorgeous boy, without fail. “I’m Jade.”
“Hi Jade.”
“You have a sister that is close in age with you. Would you like to meet her?”
He beams. “Yes please.”
“Bella, do you want to take him outside. Lilly is in the gardens.”
She smiles gratefully. Bella has mellowed in the last few years, having a child has done her well. She looks exactly the same as she did all those years ago, big brown eyes and blonde hair.
Long legs, tall.
She has aged a little, but still looks fabulous.
“I’m sorry Jade, I really thought you knew.”
I nod. “It’s fine. Your son is welcome anytime; it’s not him I have a problem with.”
She smiles weakly. “I will leave you to it.”
When she is gone I turn to Jax who is just standing there, all stunned mullet. I can’t process it right now, so Bella was pregnant already when she was on Bill’s ship. I suppose she wouldn’t have been far along; she left just before I came back into Jax’s life. She wasn’t there long, and we didn’t see her again when Jax came back for me when I was staying with Carol. He still lied though, still knew and lied. I just can’t think
,
I need time to think.
“I need time. I am going to pack some things, don’t follow me.”
“Jade,” He pleads. “Don’t go, baby, please.”
“Don’t Jax, you lied to me AGAIN. We bared our souls back on that island, and you already knew, but you didn’t tell me. I don’t know how I feel about that.”
“I was in shock mate, you came back, and all I wanted was to fix things.”
“You have had eight months…”
“Yeah and we lost a son, I didn’t know if you could cope knowing I already had one…”
I have to give him that; I wouldn’t have dealt with it well.
“I…get that. Give me time, a few days at least, please?”
“Don’t leave me.” He rasps.
“You don’t get a choice in what I do right now. I am going to Mack’s, leave me be for a few days please. Lilly can stay with you. I just need time.”
He swallows and nods. I walk past him, swiping the tears from my eyes. I pack a small bag and walk out of the house, he follows very slowly,
he
is stunned. I see Lilly playing with Aiden and my heart throbs. The little boy doesn’t deserve to be left out. I stop next to Bella.
“I am sorry for before. I am leaving now.”
She turns to me, and then looks at Jax. “Should I leave?”
“Let the kids play, they deserve it.”
I turn but then look back at her.
“Oh and Bella?
If you even breathe too close to him while I am gone, or even think about breathing on him, I will kill you. That is a promise.”
Her eyes widen and she nods, swallowing. I slowly walk over to Rusty who is with the kids in the garden.
“I am going for a while Rust.” I choke out.
“Oh lass, I didn’t realize you didn’t know. He…I’m real sorry.”
I nod, swallowing back my tears. “Take care of Lilly, will you?”
“Always.”
I find Lilly next and explain that I have some work things to do, and she has to stay with daddy. She is thrilled to have a big brother and is too excited to notice my blotchy cheeks and puffy eyes. I kiss her and make my way to the car. Jax opens the door for me, but I refuse to look at him.
“I’m sorry Jade.” He says quietly.
“Yeah so am I, for trusting you.”
I slam the door and speed off without another look back. I sob the entire way to Mack and Sam’s house, and by the time I get there, Mack is already waiting. Jax must have called him. I slide out of the car and crumble into his arms.
“Oh baby girl, shhh.”
I feel hurt and confused; I can’t pin point any of my feelings or make sense of what hurts the most.
The lie or the fact that he has a son, when we lost our own.
“Come
inside,
let’s get you a cup of tea.”
Mack leads me inside and sits me on the lounge. Sam is beside me in seconds, holding me close while Mack goes to fetch some tea.
“Oh honey, shhh, its ok.”
“He has another
child,
he knew and didn’t tell me.”
“Oh love.”
“Did you know Sam?”
“No love, I don’t think any of us did.”
“It hurts so bad after RJ, it really does.”
“I know it does honey, I know.”
Mack brings me back a cup of tea and hands it to me. I take it and sip slowly between hiccups. He strokes my hand gently and Sam sits beside me and hugs me close.
“What happened?” Mack asks.
I go over it quickly, and he frowns.
“He has a boy that is older than Lilly?”
“By a few years at most.”
“So he cheated on you?”
“No, he went back with Bella when he left the bar, I wasn’t with him then.”
“He never ever mentioned that child.”
“He said he only found out while we were apart recently.”
“Oh love, I am so sorry.”
“It’s just never ending daddy, we can never just get it right.”
“Relationships are hard angel.”
“Ours has never been easy. I wonder why I bother.”
“Because you love him.
It was never going to be easy, he is a pirate love.”
“I forget that so often. It’s probably my fault. He tries so hard to make me happy but deep down, you’re right, he is just a pirate, and I need to remember that more often.”
“It doesn’t excuse him lying.”
“No,” I whisper. “It doesn’t.”
“Do you want something to eat love?” Sam asks.
“No, I would just like to lie down if you don’t mind?”
“Sure.”
Mack helps me into the spare room and after a quick kiss to my cheek and a squeeze; he leaves. I smile weakly at Sam, who is nursing my little brother. He was born a month or so ago, pain tears through my heart. I am alone. I fall to my bed and curl up, this pain is too much. I feel so hurt, so betrayed. I open my phone and read through the messages. There is one from Layla and three from Jax.
Hey sweetie, where are you? Jax just rang and told us what happened. I gave him an earful. Tell me where you
are,
I want to be with you. L x
I text her back quickly.
Hey Lays, I am at Mack’s. Come over when you can. I need you. J x
Be there soon x
I scroll down to Jax’s messages. Taking a deep breath, I open them.
Baby, please talk to me. I need to make this better. I’m sorry.
I never meant to hurt you,
God
you know I love you.
Please, don’t leave me Jade. I will do anything.
I hesitate for a long, long moment.
Then I text back.
You broke my heart. You lied to me when I thought we were just getting better. Tell me how I am ever supposed to get over that?
I know I stuffed up, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to hurt you anymore. I was going to. I swear to
God
I was, but everything went wrong.
You have a son!
I am sorry!
Leave me be Jax, I don’t want to talk with you further.
Is it over?
I…no, I don’t know.
Fuck, Jade.
I will talk with you later.
Don’t leave me.
You don’t give me much choice.
He doesn’t text back, and I know I have hurt him. Good, maybe it will make him realize how
Damn
ed
much it hurts to be left behind. I curl back up in bed and drift in and out of sleep. I feel somebody slide onto the bed later, and I know it’s Layla by the arms that go around me. I let her snuggle into me, and we lay like that for a long while.
“You ok?” She asks.
“I don’t know.”
I roll to face her, and she gives me a sympathetic smile.
“He has a child?”
“Yes.”
“He never told you?”
“No.”
“Aw babes, I know how much it must hurt.”
“I don’t want to fight with him Layla, I love him, but I just feel like
it’s
constant crap between us.”
“Give it a few days honey, emotions are high.”
I feel tears well in my eyes again.
“Say, do you want to take your mind of it?”
I blink at her. “How do you mean?”
“Why don’t we go to the Z-bar?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“We can take PJ and Jack, for protection. Come on, your favorite martini is there. It will help.”
“Ok.”
Why not? Jax hurt me, and I need a
Damn
ed distraction.
CHAPTER
6
The Z-bar is quiet so Layla and I slip into a booth down the back and order a drink. Jack and PJ are at the pub next door, giving us our girl time. We sit, sipping or martinis and by the second one I am feeling a touch better. By the fifth we are giggling like school girls. As the night drags on, we continue to drink and chat. I certainly do feel better
, perhaps because I am spastic drunk
. Towards mid-evening, PJ comes past to check on us. As he is walking in, a woman swoons over him.
Layla growls.
“Look at that tramp
will
you?” She hisses.
I turn my hazy gaze towards the young blonde touching PJ’s arm. I blink, to try and focus my eyes. What a little whore. I stand, on wobbly legs and stumble over.
“Excuse me, back off. He is t-t-taken.
S-s-skank.”
God
I am slurring. How terrible.
“Excuse me? I doubt he is with you, right now you look like a
drunk
hooker.” She spits at me.
“Oh no you didn’t.”
I hit her, hard. She stumbles backwards and then catches her footing. Leaping forward she lands on top of me and we fall backwards into the wall. I feel my head slam onto the ground as we go down. Well, it wouldn’t take much to push me over right now. She punches my face five times;
Damn
girl can punch.
Mother fucker.
I slam my head against her forehead, stopping her for a moment. Then, I drive a fist into her face. We are rolling around, beating the crap out of each other and instead of somebody helping, everybody is cheering. Honestly.
“Get off her.” PJ finally growls, leaning down and lifting the young girl, tossing her to the side as though she is a rag doll.
I can’t move; my head is spinning and her hitting me has only made it worse. I am so drunk; I feel like I am in a swaying ship. Blood is dripping into my mouth from my split lip. Layla drops beside me.
“What did you do that for?” She cries.
“She was hitting on your man.” I slur.
“He could have taken care of himself.”
I blink, it’s all very hazy. I hear PJ on the phone beside me.
“Your wife has gotten herself beaten up. Get down to the Z-Bar.”
“Don’t call him!” I cry.
PJ raises an eyebrow. “Well, he is clearly the only one who can control you. Stand up, you’re bleeding badly.”
“Can’t.”
I murmur.
“She’s so drunk baby.” Layla says gently.
“You think?” PJ snaps.
“We need to get her out of here.”
They lift me and my head lolls to the side.
Damn
, I am so drunk. Jack rushes over when he sees us and starts yelling madly at PJ.
“Shut it Jack, it’s not my fault.”
“S-s-s-s-snot his fault.”
I slur.
“
God
Dammit
, Jax is going to flip. She is so drunk.”
“You don’t fucking say.”
Layla sits me on a nearby bench and pulls out a hanky from her purse and presses it to my mouth.
“What’s the damage?” I giggle. I can’t feel a
Damn
thing.