We lay there in silence, both of us spent. I rested my cheek on her abdomen and traced lazy circles on her stomach. Her hands played in my hair. “You’re incredible, you know that?” I whispered. “Not only do you live up to expectations, but you shatter them.”
“Ditto. Come up here please.”
I obliged and moved up the bed, tucking my head under her outstretched arm and onto her shoulder. Our legs were a bit tangled and I draped one arm across her body. She kissed the top of my head as I settled in. “I can’t believe this actually happened.”
“Are you sorry?” I asked, looking up at her, worried she might have regrets.
She appeared surprised by the question. Her brow furrowed and she shook her head sincerely. “God, no. I’ve wanted this for a while, Jenna, wanted you. Once we started the film and I had to see you every day, and talk to you, and occasionally touch you during scenes, well, let’s just say it was hard.”
“For me too.”
She slid down the bed a little so we now lay face-to-face. Adrienne stroked my cheek and took my face into her hands. “I think it’s okay for us to be scared.”
I felt the tears well up in my eyes and did my best to fight against them. I couldn’t speak even if I’d wanted to, so instead I nodded. Because I
was
scared. I didn’t know where we went from here. We’d tried this before and it hadn’t worked. This was definitely uncharted territory for me and I felt unprotected, vulnerable to whatever might happen. As one tear I was desperately ashamed of made its way down my cheek, Adrienne did the tenderest thing I could imagine. She leaned in and kissed it. She wrapped her arms around me and held on tight. It was in that embrace that I drifted off to the most wonderfully restful sleep I had experienced in over four years.
❖
I blinked twice and rubbed my eyes, shielding them from the onslaught of intense sunlight streaming into the room. I lay on my stomach and as I came to, the events of the night before rushed back to me. I couldn’t help but smile lazily as I turned over, looking immediately for Adrienne. The other side of the bed was empty, however. I felt my face fall, my stomach drop. I listened for sounds of activity somewhere in the house but heard only silence.
I decided to get up and investigate. If she was gone, it was possible she’d left a note. I hastily pulled on some cutoffs and a T-shirt and moved throughout the cottage, but there was no trace of Adrienne or the fact that she’d ever been there. I located my phone.
No messages. I ran my hands through my hair, angry at myself for hoping I’d been wrong and Adrienne hadn’t given me the most amazing night of my life and then left the next morning without a word. I hated that she had the power to hurt me and was upset that she could regret what we’d shared.
I made a pot of coffee and stared it down as it brewed, rehashing the night before. Just the thought of how Adrienne had touched me sent my body into overdrive. I shook my head finally, forcing the thoughts from my mind. I poured myself a cup and made my way out onto the back patio. I opened the door and stopped. Adrienne stood at the railing with her back to the door, watching the morning tide roll in. She wore only a long T-shirt
, my T-shirt
. I watched her for a moment and attempted to regroup, exhaling. As if sensing the attention, she turned around, resting her elbows on the rail.
“Hey, sleepyhead.” She smiled shyly. “Good morning.” “Good morning,” I said, doing my best to cover up the
misunderstanding.
She arched an eyebrow, studying me. “Something’s wrong.” “No, I just…I thought you’d gone.”
“I’m right here,” she said quietly. She looked down at her attire attempting to lighten the mood. “I stole your shirt. I hope that’s okay. My bag is still in my car.”
I joined her at the edge of the deck. “You’re welcome to my clothes. Do you want me to bring your bag in or are you heading out today?” I sounded pathetic, I knew, but I had to know.
Adrienne stared out at the horizon. “You really thought I left,
that I would do that without even saying good-bye first?”
I lifted one hand and let it drop, unsure how to explain, so instead I avoided the question. “I’m glad you’re still here, and I would like very much for you to stay tonight.”
She didn’t answer and she still wasn’t looking at me. Her expression was distant, pensive. Sad.
“Age, look at me.” I gently turned her chin until I could look her in the eye. “I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions.”
She nodded, covering my hand with hers. “I know and I don’t blame you. I think we’re still a little afraid of each other, huh?”
I lifted her hair off the back of her neck and let it drop again. “Hey, let’s not do this, okay? Let’s start again. Here I go. Good morning, Adrienne. I’m so happy to see you.” I leaned in and kissed her softly.
She opened her eyes as I pulled away. “I like that version,” she breathed. “I could get used to that version.”
“So what do you say? Will you stay? I only have one night left here and I’d like to spend it with you.”
“And after tomorrow?”
I looked down, thinking, then raised my head, meeting her eyes. “We try.”
She nodded. “I can do that. And to answer your question, yes, I’d like to stay.”
“Good. Now what can I make you for breakfast?” I asked, putting my arms around her waist.
She kissed my nose. “Nothing, thank you, because you can’t cook.”
“This is true. But we have bagels.” I grinned proudly. “And I excel at toasting things. Me and my toaster will rock your world.”
She laughed. “Sounds like a plan.”
We ate in the kitchen, listening to morning radio and tossing around ideas for the day. I couldn’t help smiling, enjoying the domesticity of the past twenty-four hours.
“We could hit a few more stores,” Adrienne suggested. “I read about some out of the way ones.”
“Gee. As much as I would love another fun-filled afternoon of
antiquing, I think maybe we should try something new.”
“Are you sure?” she said all too innocently. “You seemed pretty enthralled yesterday. I wouldn’t want to deprive you of a repeat of the whole wonderful experience.”
I couldn’t get over how good she looked wearing just my T-shirt. “If you would wear this all day, I think I’d go along with just about anything you said.”
“Is that so?” I could tell the wheels in her head were now turning. She came around the table, straddled my lap, and placed her arms around my neck. “I might be able to arrange that.”
I nuzzled her neck. “You drive me absolutely crazy, do you know that?”
“I didn’t, but it’s certainly nice to hear.” She tossed her head to the side, gesturing toward the hallway. “I’m going to grab a shower. If you feel so inclined, you are officially invited to join me.”
I leaned in to kiss her, but she pulled her lips away at the last minute. “Not yet,” she said. “In there.” And with that, she was on her way, disappearing down the hallway. Damn.
It was just a short while until I heard the water running and it wasn’t like I could resist such an offer. There was a very sexy woman in my bathroom whom I was crazy about. The math was simple.
I pushed open the door and found the room seemingly empty as Adrienne was already in the shower. I shed my clothes, slipped through the shower curtain, and stepped behind her under the spray. She turned, her eyes appreciative as they drifted slowly down my body. She placed her hands on the center of my shoulders and let them drop, feeling her way down every inch of my skin. I stood motionless, my eyes closed. I felt her lips on my neck and the rest became a blur. There was kissing, gasping, and lots of mutual exploration.
We lingered in the shower, completely captivated with each other until the water ran cold. Adrienne stepped out first and held a towel open for me. As I stepped out into it, I decided to ask the question that had been in the back of my mind since the night before. “Can I ask about the tattoo?”
She looked down at her hip, running her thumb across the design. “I got it in New York four years ago, two weeks before Austin. I’d always wanted one. I think I told you that. That day on the pier when we got the temporary ones, it was one of the nicest days I remember having. I didn’t tell you about the tattoo back then because I’d planned to surprise you. Except things were a little hurried between us that last night…”
“Oh,” I said, remembering.
“I’d thought about having it removed. Just never got around to it. Maybe that was subconscious. I don’t know.”
I smiled. “Well, I like it. That was one of my favorite days too.”
We continued getting ready for the day in silence. It was nice though, a comfortable silence. Every once in a while, I’d glance over at Adrienne just to remind myself she was here with me. That action was often greeted with a smile or playful wink. There was a skip in my step that was simply undeniable. Life suddenly had endless possibilities and I was ready for it.
After sprucing up for the day, Adrienne and I eventually decided to visit Montauk Lighthouse, the oldest lighthouse in New York State and also a historic landmark. There had always been something about lighthouses that I found intriguing, mysterious even. They had such a calming effect, a serenity I couldn’t quite pinpoint.
We packed food for a late lunch and I looked forward to our last afternoon in the Hamptons. We put the top down on Adrienne’s rental and I watched her as she drove. Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail and it made her look especially young. I smiled. She reminded me of the teenage Adrienne from television. As we sped past the shore, I watched the beach dwellers and sang quietly to the radio.
She looked over at me, thoughtful. “You know, you have a beautiful voice, Jen. I’d forgotten how well you sing.”
“No, you’re the singer,” I said. “I can do just enough to get by.” “You always underestimate yourself. Speaking of which,
Elevation
starts rehearsals in two weeks. Are you pumped?”
I hesitated. “It does start rehearsals, but I think in order to attend I have to sign and return their contract.”
“What? Why are you dragging your feet? This show was made for you.”
I decided to level with her. “Maybe it’s just cold feet, but I’m worried I’m not as good as they think I am.”
“Wrong. You’re better, which is why I recommended you in the first place. And just for the record, I didn’t do it because of us. I did it because your dancing on your worst day is better than most of these people on their best. I’ve been doing this awhile, Jenna, and your talent is rare.”
I sighed. “You have to say that.”
She shook her head and focused on the road. “So ridiculously stubborn.”
❖
The lighthouse was as beautiful in person as it was on the postcards I’d seen, more so even. We took dozens of photos in front of it, together and individually. Not surprisingly, Adrienne was recognized several times and posed for a few fan photos with a group of teenagers.
Later, we perused the visitor’s center and gift shop, trying on various hats and sunglasses just for fun. We laughed a lot and it felt good. In the end, I purchased a calendar and Adrienne picked up a framed photo of the lighthouse at night, a sight I hoped to experience in person one day.
Next, we found a comfortable spot on top of some of the larger rocks along the shoreline and snacked on the assorted cheeses and fruit we’d brought with us from the stocked fridge back at the cottage. We stretched out on the rocks, staring up at the lighthouse as we discussed all aspects of life, updating one another on the details of family, friends, and even, touchy subject as it was, recent relationships.
“So how long were you together?” I asked.
She thought for a moment. “A little more than three months, I guess.” Adrienne was referencing her much publicized relationship with Rene Inglata, the fashion model.
“Who ended it?”
“I did. We had fun, but in the end, it just wasn’t there. There was always something missing.”
I nodded.
“Your turn,” she said. “Tell me about your last relationship.” “What exactly constitutes a relationship?” I asked, watching
the clouds move in the overcast sky above.
She looked over at me strangely. “Anyone you’d consider your girlfriend, I guess.”
“In that case, I guess I haven’t had any of those since you.” “How is that possible? I’ve seen photos of you with lots of
women. It’s okay to talk about it. I’m a big girl.”
“No, it’s not that. There were lots of women, there just wasn’t ever…one. I was working a lot and didn’t want the distraction. Relationships don’t coexist well with location shooting and extra long hours on set.” I looked at her knowingly. “Plus, when they don’t work out, it can be brutal.”
“So when you say lots, you mean—” “
Lots
.” I emphasized the word reluctantly.
“Oh.” She took in the information. “So that’s where all the new moves came from.”
I blushed, embarrassed and a little saddened by that observation. “Adrienne, I’m not proud of the way I’ve carried on, and it’s being around you for these past few months that’s made me see that. I don’t want to be that person anymore.” Annoyingly, my BlackBerry chose that moment to interrupt and buzzed from the recesses of my pocket. I pulled it out and silenced it. Latham, I noted to myself before turning my attention back to Adrienne.
“You know, it doesn’t matter to me, your past, other women.” She took my hand and threaded her fingers through mine. “It doesn’t change who you are.”
“Thank you.” Another buzz. I glanced down, irritated. This time he’d sent a text message.
Urgent. Call me
.
Adrienne rested her chin on my shoulder, her brow furrowed as she peered down at the screen. “You should probably talk to him. I don’t think he’s going away.”
“It’ll just take a sec.” I stood and wandered a few yards away as I dialed. Never one to disappoint, Latham’s voice was as loud and obnoxious as ever upon answering.
“There you are! Sorry to bother you on your vacation, but we need to talk.”
“All right. What’s up?” I was suddenly nervous. Had something fallen through with the
Elevation
deal? I cursed myself for not signing the contract faster.