Walking Among the Shadows: Awakening: Revised Edition (5 page)

“Dude?”

“What?”

“My apple?”

“Oh damn, my bad. I’ll go…”

“No, I’ll get it.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah Tony, I think I can get
an apple ten feet away without incident.” I got up and started moving towards
the fruit display.

I felt completely normal
again. No uneasy feelings or nightmarish visions. The apples looked really ugly
and some of them had some brown spots and blemishes on them. Then from the
corner of my eye I saw the perfect apple. Dark red, big, and it looked firm and
delicious. My mouth started watering at the prospect of taking a huge bite out
of that apple and feeling the sweet and refreshing juices explode inside my
mouth. I had to have that apple no matter what. Somehow biting into that apple
meant making sense of what just happened to me.

As I reached for the apple I
started feeling the heat and rage build up inside of me again. I felt someone
behind me—it was her! And we were both reaching for the same apple. Being this
close to her started an uncontrollable frenzy inside of me. The rage was
engulfing me, drowning me in wave after wave of violent thoughts. I was sinking
fast and beginning to lose myself and then I felt a surge of power run through
my veins giving me a godlike feeling.

I was ready for war and one of
us was going to get this apple and the other one was going to get a handful of
air. From the corner of my eye I could tell that my hand was much closer to the
apple than hers. Clearly indicating I would be the winner of this
“Apple-Gladiatorial Contest”. Then she did something I wasn’t expecting…she
gently brushed her arm and hip against me in the most seductive way.

 (sigh)

Girls are so evil…

 Her touch sent sexual urges
and desires through my entire body. The contrast of the feelings of violence
and sexual yearning caused an emotional chain reaction that I couldn’t control
and before I could move away it happened…

“Don’t fucking touch me!”

The words exploded from my
mouth like a nuclear blast. My voice was loud, rumbling across the entire
lunchroom. It traveled above all the chatter, noise, and laughter. It drowned
out everything and everyone. The room fell silent and everyone’s attention was
now on me and Jasmine. Watching me snatch away from this beautiful girl,
coiling away in disgust. I could feel a snarl forming on my face as my posture
became aggressive. I slightly turned my head away from her, refusing to look
her in her eyes. From the corner of my eye I could see that same smirk she gave
me in the darkness. I hated she had this much control over me but my reaction
wasn’t planned; it just came out of me naturally. I was losing control of
myself and I felt she was my enemy and I knew at that moment she and I would
have a problem with each other for a very long time. But we were strangers and
there wasn’t a rational reason why I felt so hateful and violent towards her.

In an attempt to avoid our
exchange from escalating Tony ran over to me and began leading me out of the
lunchroom. Halfway out, I turned to see Sarah looking on with shock and awe in
her eyes. I turned my head towards the fruit display and caught a glimpse of
the girl smiling back at me and taking a big bite out of the apple I wanted and
needed so badly. She had a look of triumph on her face, provoking me and I
suddenly wanted to run back in the lunchroom and pound that smile off her face.
Pound her till she stopped moving. What was coming over me? I’ve never felt any
violent intentions towards a girl before, well, besides Sarah, but she was my
little sister. We were supposed to fight. But I’ve never hit a girl. Nor had I
ever dreamed of it until that day. I needed my head examined immediately…..

After the scene in the
lunchroom between myself and Jasmine, I began getting strange looks from everyone,
even Tony.  Once school was finally out I waited outside for Sarah and Tony. I
really didn’t want to look at another person’s judging eyes looking me over
like I was a basket case. There wasn’t any after school activities either;
tryouts started next week. Tony walked out first and then Sarah followed, both
of them slowly walking towards me as if expecting me to pounce on them like a
hungry lion.

“Oh no, I am not going anywhere
with psycho boy over there!” Sarah protested.

“Sarah stop it,” warned Tony.
“Let’s go!”

As Tony walked towards the bus
stop, I could hear girls calling out for him.

“See you tomorrow ladies,”
Tony responded and kept walking, clearly for their own safety. Sarah was with
us and if they got too close she would not be polite. But most teenagers can’t
take a hint and one such cute and flirtatious teenager suddenly ran up to Tony
for a goodbye hug and Sarah immediately jumped between them.

“Uh, excuse me?” the girl
complained.

“Yes! You are excused
and
you can turn all that sexual energy down and carry it that way!” demanded
Sarah, pointing towards the opposite direction.

“I’m not even talking to you.
Who are you anyway?” the girl responded.

Sarah hated being challenged
in front of Tony. Sarah took a step towards little miss “sexshine” and said,
“You really want to know who I am?”

The girl now curious as to who
Sarah was looked her over quickly. Soon the flirtatious smile disappeared from
her face and I could tell she was calculating her odds of being able to
physically contend with my sister. Sarah was both physically attractive and
intimidating. She worked out just as much as I did and her well defined arms
and legs revealed to many including this teenager vying for Tony’s attention
that she wasn’t to be taken lightly. After deciding against testing Sarah’s
patience the girl took a few steps back and began rolling her eyes and neck.

“Whatever! Later for you?” the
girl responded, flicking her hand in Sarah’s face. “You and your brother are a
bunch of weirdoes anyway. Call me later Tony and make sure your guard dog is
muzzled and chained before you do.”

“What you say?” Sarah jumped
towards her but Tony grabbed her before she could do the girl bodily harm.

“Sarah, chill!”

Then he yelled after the
sophomore as she walked away switching extra hard so Tony could notice her
backside: “Hey girl trust me, I just saved your life! Don’t provoke this one!”

“Tony, you better check your
tramps before I have to clean house!” Sarah demanded.

“Hey Sarah, you need to calm
that down! I don’t know how many times I have to tell you I’m not your man!”  

Then Tony turned to me, “Dude,
what was that earlier? I mean, at first you black out, then you burst out and
snatch away from clearly the finest girl on planet earth. What was that about?”

“He’s been in that potato head
training camp too long,” blurted Sarah.

 “Dude, I don’t know what came
over me,” I responded.

“People are gossiping bro’;
they’re saying you’re a racist!”

“Huh?” I said.

And then Sarah, while pointing
at the both of us broke out in a frenzied laugh, stumbling forward, trying to
regain her balance.

“Aiden is a racist with a best
friend who’s black? Where do people get this crap,” she yelled out still
laughing.

“Well, they are saying because
Iraqis killed your dad and she’s Iraqi you hate her.”

“Dude, that’s ridiculous!”

“I know it is, and then
they’re saying you are gay.”

“Gay?” Sarah was laughing so
hard now I thought she would collapse on the sidewalk and laugh till she
fainted.

“A gay racist!? Oh my Lord! If
those are the things those brilliant minds at Deerfield High can come up with
then I was wrong. That school wasn’t designed for idiots, it was designed for
vegetables. I changed my mind I wanna go to Lake Forest! I feel the dumbness
infecting me every second I remain on campus! Ya’ll too much! And they have the
nerve to pass out A’s up here? I wonder how dumb one would have to be to get an
F?”

Sarah couldn’t stop laughing
and we all started laughing as well. Again, though I hated to admit it, she had
a point.

“Dumb enough to get kicked out
of hell, I guess,” Tony added. We started laughing harder.

On the bus ride home Sarah
kept looking at students from Deerfield High and giggling. I knew she was
giving them all grades of her own. He’s definitely an F right there. Then
giggle. She was so mean. She would occasionally say out loud “F+” and the three
of us would start laughing again.

B
ack at
our house, Tony began to drill me in my room about the events from earlier that
day. I explained everything to him including my violent intentions towards
Jasmine. After I was done Tony just sat on the edge of my bed looking at me
like I was Hannibal Lecter.

“Aiden, you got issues!”

“So you don’t believe me?”

“Yes, I do believe you. You’ve
never had a problem before, no mental breakdowns, nothing. So I believe you.
But me believing you isn’t the solution. The solution is to stay the hell away
from that girl. And if what you are saying is accurate about her taunting you,
she is not going to make it easy for you. But what I’m tripping on is that
waking nightmare you just talked about. That doesn’t sound normal on any plain
of existence. Do you think she knows the effect she has on you?”

“Yes, definitely!”

“Okay, now you know how crazy
this sounds, right?”

“Yes, I do. Being around her
makes me want to end her.”

“Wow dude, anyone else sitting
where I’m sitting right now would be turning you in. Real talk! A girl that
fine? Man Aiden, you sure know how to stay focused huh?”

“Hey man, that’s not fair.”

“Give me a little credit,
Aiden. I am protecting my friend who may be the next Chris Brown or worse. So I
need to add a little humor right now to make me feel a little better about
this.”

“Oh, so that’s what that was?”

Tony got up and walked over to
the window looking out across our backyard. I could tell he was very
uncomfortable with my behavior concerning Jasmine. After staring out my window
in silence for about a minute I could tell by his uncomfortable stance he was
ready to go home and think about everything I’d just shared with him.

“Anyway bro, I gotta roll.
I’ll see you tomorrow morning and we are going to figure this thing out
together, okay?” He was shaking my hand while reassuring me that he had my back
and from his firm grip I knew he meant every word.

“Thanks, man.”

“No problem. Now let’s pray
she’s not a Girl Scout and shows up at your doorstep selling devil’s food cake
cookies.”

“Get out!” I laughed. As he
walked out the door I threw a shoe at his head. He ducked right before my shoe
connected with the back of his head and then gave me the finger while doing a
silly karate pose.

 “Out,” I yelled laughing at
his silly ass.

The next four days Tony and I
tried to devise a system for me to avoid Jasmine as much as possible. It was
easy at times and other times it seemed she’d just popped out of nowhere behind
me or next to me. I got the feeling of rage, but once I was able to move away
her effect on me diminished. Sometimes her presence felt threatening and other
times it felt sensual and inviting. The conflicting feelings of violent
intentions and sexual desires were more than I could control and my body would
convulse and shake violently. Every time it happened Tony would wait until I’d
stop shaking and then ask,

“Need a cigarette and towel?”

Don’t you dare laugh…it isn’t
funny…

I started searching online
after school, trying to find out as much as I could about my condition and
Jasmine. Nothing! Not a damn thing. It was very strange. You could find Bigfoot
photos, porn, Elvis sightings, more porn and 2Pac theories. Oh and did I
mention porn? But nothing about what I was experiencing. I began to
second-guess myself; thinking maybe I always had these physiological
imperfections that lay dormant for so long. Maybe that’s why a teenaged boy
considered by many to be extremely attractive was a die-hard introvert. When I
really think hard about it I discovered that I purposely cultivated my brooding
behavior and did things to keep people at bay.

Maybe it was a subconscious
protection mechanism to prevent me from harming anyone. But if that’s true,
then why her? Why now? And what about that dark vision? I just couldn’t
understand how something in my mind could manifest something so real and
terrifying. And what about the power surge running through my body? I  felt
like I had about two million watts of power flowing through my veins that I
could use at my disposal. I didn’t even feel like myself when that happened. I
felt lighter than air and I could do anything, be anything. The feeling was
euphoric, like a drug. But not being in control of myself was terrifying and
frustrating to say the least. So after trying so many different things and
searching for hours online; by the end of the school week we still had no idea
what was going on between me and the new girl.