Wasted (20 page)

“
Falling for him? As in you
want more than a brief relationship?”

I concentrated on cutting my pancakes. “Am I
wasting my time?” I didn’t look at her as I asked the question,
afraid of what I might see.

“
I don’t know.”

At least she wasn’t giving me false hope.
Wondering if I should have kept that information to myself, I took
a bite of my pancakes, unable to enjoy them for all the uncertainty
that swirled in my chest.

“
Mason’s dealing with a lot
of stuff—unresolved emotions, our insane mother, things he should
be the one to tell you about.”

“
I get it.” I understood
that she didn’t want to give me details, but I also realized that
Mason had a lot of things he hadn’t even mentioned. How well could
I possibly know him? Maybe I was getting ahead of myself with my
feelings, not that I knew how to stop them.

“
For the record, I think he
needs someone like you. I don’t know if he’s ready, but,” she
paused, “I guess that’s where you come in. Maybe he needs you, and
he doesn’t even know it. He probably won’t be an easy catch because
he has a bad habit of shutting people out. You’ll have to decide
whether a real relationship with him is something you want to
pursue because I don’t think he’ll make it easy.”

She held her hands up in surrender. “Okay,
enough talk about Mason. As his sister, this conversation is
starting to creep me out.”

Did I want to pursue a relationship with
Mason? In all my previous relationships, it was the guy who’d
pursued me.

When I thought about the way he smiled at
me, the way he wanted to protect those around him, the way I felt
when I was near him, I knew I had to find out if there was the
potential for a long-term relationship.

If someone had asked me a few weeks ago
whether I was coming to Creekview to pursue a relationship with a
guy I met in a bar, I would have laughed at the absurdity of
it.

But as I sat here thinking about all the
times he’d made me laugh, all the times his touch had filled me
with a strange mixture of longing and contentment, all the times
that I’d admired the way he fiercely protected those who were close
to him….

I wanted to be there for him, to give him
happiness, to provide him comfort. I wanted to listen to his
story—all of it—even the parts he was reluctant to share.

So as I posed the question to myself of
whether he was worth pursuing, I knew the answer. While I couldn’t
be sure of the man I would find hidden beneath his veil of pain,
hidden behind his easy smile, I had already committed to finding
out. I wasn’t sure exactly when I had committed myself, but I had
done it nonetheless.

Now the only question was: would I like what
I found?

Mason

I woke up with a screaming headache.
Stumbling into the kitchen, I opened the cabinet in search of some
aspirin. Instead, I found canned goods neatly stacked, all the
labels turned to the front where they could easily be read. Boxes
of rice and pasta were arranged in rows on the shelf above it.
Damn, it looked like the stock crew from the grocery store broke
into my apartment last night and stocked the shelves. I opened
another cabinet, only to find that the height of the shelves had
been rearranged and boxes of cereal were lined up neatly on the top
shelf, while the lower shelves held boxes of oatmeal, a loaf of
bread, and bagels.

Shit. Who knew where the aspirin was? I
closed the cabinet and started glancing at bottles of alcohol,
wondering if I had the ingredients for Hair of the Dog.

When I heard the front door open, I leaned
against the counter, pressing my fingertips to my temples. Lexi’s
and Haley’s voices mingled together as they carried on a lively
conversation.

“
Which one of you ladies
hid my aspirin?”

They both looked at me, and Lexi set her
purse on the coffee table and rushed toward me, carrying a to-go
container. She laid it on the bar. “Here’re some pancakes if you
want some breakfast.”

“
All I want right now is
some aspirin and a glass of water.”

She walked around the bar and into the
kitchen, opening a cabinet and pulling out a bottle. “I put all the
medicine in this cabinet.” She opened the bottle, poured out a
couple of pills, and offered them to me. After replacing the bottle
of aspirin, she busied herself fixing a glass of water and handed
it to me, breaking her own rule about helping someone only once
with a hangover.

“
Thank you, love.” It was
nice having someone around who was willing to do things for me, but
last night had scared me.

Lexi and Haley shared a glance, and I had
the distinct feeling they knew something that I didn’t.

“
Well, I’m going to pack my
stuff. I need to get back home.” My sister looked at me as she
spoke.

“
You’re leaving so soon?”
Lexi asked.

“
Yeah, I need to wash
clothes and start looking for a job.”

“
Remember,” I said,
pointing at Haley, “you can stay here if you need to.”

She smoothed her hair over her shoulder,
reminding me of a younger version of our mother. “I know.” Then,
she disappeared down the hall.

As I made my way back to the couch, Lexi
followed me, sinking into the adjacent cushion. “Listen. About last
night….”’

I held my hand up to stop her. “We both got
a little carried away. There’s no need to discuss it.” The last
thing I wanted to think about were the words she’d whispered right
before she drifted to sleep.

She cast her eyes downward. “I think we need
to talk.”

“
I’ve got a freaking
nightmare of a hangover right now, Lex.”

“
Okay. I guess I’ll just be
in my room, then.”

Dejected, she got up without so much as
another glance my way and walked down the hall.

I hated myself for hurting her, but last
night had made it clear to me that she wanted something that I had
no business giving her.

My life was in shambles, and she had
everything going for her. If she had any sense, she’d pack up her
belongings and get the hell out of Creekview.

But then I thought about the guy that she
had intended to marry. A myriad of feelings and emotions tugged at
my heart. When he came into the bar, I wanted to punch him in the
throat, to tell him to get the hell away from her. He’d hurt her
badly, and I was terrified that I was no better, that in the end
she’d wind up hating me.

But the thought of not being near her, of
stepping back, giving another man the chance to claim her as his
own…. I rubbed my hands together, so that I didn’t curl them into
fists.

I’d loved and left my share of women, but
none of them had consumed my mind the way Lexi had. She left me
wanting more.

But did I have the courage to let her
in?

Chapter
16

The Showstopper

Mason

Over the next week and a half, I distanced
myself from Lexi. It wasn’t easy because my brain refused to purge
her from its thoughts. Everything I looked at in my apartment
reminded me of her: the dust-free furniture, the neatly arranged
groceries, the breakfast that I usually found waiting on me at the
bar.

It was nice having her around. I wanted to
tell her that, but shit, I couldn’t let her think that the two of
us had a chance. She was a nice girl, and I refused to do that to
her. Hell, I’d done too much already. I knew I should have never
slept with her, but I’d wanted her badly. I constantly thought back
to that one night. I knew for Lexi I’d been more than the means to
an orgasm. Our time together had meant something to her. She’d told
me as much once it was over, and even though it had been something
special to me, too, I wasn’t sure what exactly.

All I knew was that she tormented me. Life
was so much easier before she showed up at Spanky’s.

I’d been spending more and more time away
from the apartment, a lot of it at the gym working out my
frustrations, and today had been no exception. Our shift would
start soon, though, and I had just enough time to go back and catch
a nap before heading to the bar.

She was vacuuming when I entered the
apartment. She didn’t acknowledge my arrival, and I assumed she
hadn’t heard the door open over the loud hum that filled the
apartment.

I couldn’t keep myself from watching her,
her ponytail swaying with her movement. Once she turned around, she
graced me with one of her angelic smiles, the kind that made a man
know that she was genuinely glad to see him.

Turning the vacuum off, she gave me a little
wave. “Hi.”

“
Hey, Lex.” As I walked
past her, I fished my phone out of my pocket and set the alarm to
give me enough time to get ready for work.

A few minutes later, she knocked on my
door.

“
Come in.”

She opened the door, a piece of paper in her
hand, but she didn’t enter my room. “There’s something I need to
tell you.”

Sitting on the edge of my bed, I pulled off
my shoes and socks. Damn, I hoped this wasn’t leading up to an
awkward conversation.

“
I didn’t say anything
because Haley didn’t want me to tell you.”

That got my attention. “What did Haley not
want you to tell me?”

“
Don’t tell her that I told
you.”

“
Just tell me.”

“
Not until you promise not
to tell her.”

“
All right. Just tell
me.”

“
Your mother came by the
weekend that she was here. You were gone to the gym.”

“
My mother was
here
?” I pointed at the
floor.

“
Yeah. Haley took her
outside and talked to her. I think she might’ve given her some
money or paid a bill or something.”

“
And you’re telling me this
now because….”

She looked at the piece of paper. “You
dropped this in the living room. It’s a receipt where you sent
money to Rachel Cambridge. Since you’re sending more money to your
mother, I thought you might want to know that she had already come
by and gotten some money from Haley.

“
I know it’s none of my
business, but I agree with Haley. As much as I admire you for
wanting to watch out for her, I think at some point you should tell
your mother that she should take care of herself.”

The muscles in my jaw tightened, and I stood
up, aggravated with the entire situation. “First of all, Haley
should’ve told me. And if she didn’t, then you should’ve told me
the day it happened. Haley shouldn’t be giving her money to our
mother. She needs her money to help her get started in her new
career.” My voice was low, and I was struggling to keep my anger in
check as I snatched the piece of paper from her hands. “For future
reference when you’re sticking your nose in my business, my
mother’s name is Charlotte.”

She’d had no idea. I could tell the way her
mouth dropped open in surprise and her eyes widened. “Then who’s
Rachel?”

I said nothing, keeping my lips tightly
closed as I waited on her to realize that it wasn’t her
business.

“
Oh,” she drawled the word
out as if she had just realized something.

I waited for her to close my door, but she
just stood there, gawking at me.

Emotion flickered through her dark eyes as
she crossed her arms over her chest, plumping her cleavage. “It’s
your ex-wife, isn’t it?”

“
How the hell do you know
about my ex-wife?”

“
Are you sleeping with
her?”

“
Why would you ask me
that?”

“
Are you?” she asked again,
her voice more forceful.

I had no desire to discuss
my sex life with her or anyone else for that matter. “Are you
sleeping with
your
ex?” I asked her. “Is that why he came looking for
you?”

“
No, I’m not, and don’t
make this about me. You haven’t answered my question.” Her reply
shouldn’t have mattered, but it did. And I was glad to know that
she denied it.

“
You are, aren’t you?” She
sounded hysterical, and guilt began to weave its way through my
body. “I thought you cared about me,” she said caustically, “but I
realize now that caring about someone doesn’t make them care about
you in return.”

“
I’m not.” I kept my voice
calm and even, trying to prevent this from blowing up further. I
didn’t like answering all these questions. Sooner or later, she’d
ask something that I didn’t want to discuss. “I’m not sleeping with
Rachel.”

“
Then why are you sending
her money?”

A sticky web. That’s what I felt like I was
in. Every step I took, whether it was evading a question or
answering it, would have me more entangled than the previous
one.

She stood akimbo, and I could see the artery
in her neck throbbing with her anger. She felt betrayed, but if I
alleviated her fears, it would lead to more questions. And I
couldn’t do more questions. Not now.

“
This discussion is over.”
I peeled my shirt off and unfastened my jeans, allowing them to
fall to the floor.

“
You said you wanted
someone to listen to your story. I was listening, Mason.” Her voice
was raised as she pointed at me in an accusatory manner. “Not only
was I listening, but I wanted to hear it. I wanted to know
everything about you.”

“
No, Lexi.” My energy
dissipated, and I was suddenly very tired. Walking over to her, I
cupped her cheek and rubbed my thumb along her silky skin. “You
thought you wanted to know, but the truth is you don’t. There are
things about me that you won’t want to know.” I kissed her on the
forehead. “Do yourself a favor and walk away.”