Weak for Him (17 page)

"Can I tell you what I want you to
do to me, sir?" Each time I said it, he tightened his grasp. I
could feel his hardness against my body, and I knew he wanted me,
and that alone gave me great satisfaction. To know that I was in
control and that he still wanted me, sexually. I didn't struggle, I
wanted him to take me, and if he wouldn't, I would drive him just
as crazy as he drove me. Payback was a bitch.

With two fingers, he ran his hand
between my legs and felt the wetness.

"Mmm. You're enjoying this aren't
you?"

"Only if you want me to,
sir."

My eyes rolled in the back of my
head as he touched my magic button. I tried to hold back a moan,
but couldn't.

"Do you want me to like it, sir?"
I whispered as I traced the bottom of his ear with my
lips.

He continued to pin my arms as he
loosened his tie, and unbuttoned his shirt. Muscles. The shirt
dropped to the floor.

"I do," he said, and released my
arms.

He undid his belt and unbuttoned
his pants. His hardness wanted me just as I wanted him. As I
reached to unzip his pants, he grabbed my wrists and slammed them
above my head again.

"No. No. Luketon wouldn't like if
his virgin no longer had a cherry for him to pop. And if you start
this, I can't guarantee I would fucking stop."

I laughed.

"Not you. You would never lose
control, sir."

My words were soft, sensual, pure
sex.

"You must not know me very well.
Not very well at all."

Then his lips crashed into mine
and our tongues wrestled with one another. Aggressive lips kissed
me with such intensity; I barely caught my breath. He broke away,
his pants fell to the floor and he stood in front of me in only
boxers. I grabbed the bottom of his lip with my mouth and our lips
mingled with one another again. Kisses. Kisses I so desperately
wanted and needed. Forbidden kisses that could get me fired quicker
than a heartbeat.

Finn slid his thumbs under the
elastic band of his boxers. I leaned back, smiled, and waited to
see him naked for the first time, hoping that I finally would get
to feel him inside me.

"Oh, Jennifer. I've…" Finn
hesitated.

"What the hell is going on in
here?" Jesse stood in the doorway.

"Fucking hell," Finnley said
coldly as he pulled up his pants and adjusted his belt.

"Get dressed, Jennifer. We have to
prepare you for Friday," Jesse said, and then glanced at Finnley.
He was the only reason I didn't get my ass chewed up and spit
out.

Our eyes met, and I could feel the
raw lust pulling us together like a magnet, hoping we finally would
snap together. He clenched his jaw and stormed from the room. Jesse
gave me a "you're a dirty little whore, and you're fired" look
simultaneously with pursed lips. I opened my mouth to protest, but
she held up a hand and went to Finn. The unfinished sentence that
he started would haunt me for the rest of the day.

"That can never fucking happen
again," Jesse yelled in the kitchen. "Never. Now I have to bring
her fucking shopping when I should be firing her ass!"

I walked into the room and saw
Finn leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. Paisley
stood beside him. Once we made eye contact, he left without a word.
Fucking fantastic.

"Ready?" Jesse asked with a
vengeance in her voice.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I
said, not adding "which is never" to the end of my
phrase.

"Luketon has something extremely
special planned for you. Our goal is to find a few things that will
fit the occasion. New wardrobe, lingerie, haircut, waxing—the whole
nine yards. I know how much you love to shop for lingerie," Paisley
said to me.

Jesse snatched a set of keys from
the counter along with her purse. Once outside, I saw V zooming
away. Finn had left like a bat out of hell. I sighed and let regret
flood over me. Admittedly, I shouldn't have brought it to that
level. I should have stopped while I was ahead. But I couldn't.
Deep inside I needed to know how he felt. I didn't give two shits
about anything else.

I didn't say a word as I climbed
into the passenger seat.

Jesse sighed loudly, wanting to
say something to me, daring me to say something to her. Instead, I
stared out the window and watched the people in the passing
cars.

"Jennifer. Don't you ever put
Finnley in that situation again. I fucking swear if you do, I will
have your ass shipped back to Texas so fast that you won't know
what fucking hit you."

Jesse pulled the car to the side
of the road and grabbed the bottom of my face, forcing me to look
at her.

"You think you're so smart. That I
don't see through your little sweet, innocent virgin game? Just
know that if Luketon hadn't paid what he did for you, I would've
fired you on the spot weeks ago. Consider this your warning. If you
and Finn 'just happen' again, you're fucking gone."

She didn't have to say anything
else, and I had nothing to add. Another moment passed, and Jesse
released the stronghold on my face. Rage flared inside of me, and I
swallowed angry tears back. I wouldn't give her joy of knowing how
pissed I was.

Back on the road, back toward the
city, and I was back on track to fulfill all Luketon's sexual
desires. I always imagined my first time with a man would be with
someone I loved and respected. Someone who would make love to me
until the sun rose. Someone who would hold me in his arms and tell
me how beautiful I was. But the first time I had sex, it would be
for money. How cheap did that make me?

We pulled into Ester's, and I
unbuckled, but hesitated before opening the door. Who the fuck did
Jesse think she was? Enough was enough. I turned and looked at her
with so much hate and anger that I thought I saw her
shudder.

"If you
ever
touch me like
that again, you'll wish you wouldn't have. Consider
that
your warning,
bitch
," I said. The shock and anger that
covered her face warmed my little angry heart. I gently shut the
door and heard the slamming of hers.

The bell above the door rang and
the smell of incense filled Ester's.

"Hey, Jennifer. It's nice to see
you again. Can I help you with something?"

"Yep, big night on Friday. I need
something extra sexy and extra special."

Belinda walked over to a smoky
gray corset with cream lace lined through the sides.

"It arrived yesterday, and if I
remember correctly, it's your size. It was a special gift from a
European designer and sent straight to the store. A nice little
surprise, I thought."

She handed it to me with a smile
and pointed toward the dressing room. "Let me know if you need any
help," she said.

The detailing and thread, which
was also cream-colored, looked hand sewn. Whoever made this took
pride in their work, and if it fit, I would take pride in wearing
it. I removed my clothes and couldn't wait to feel the soft silk
and lace on my body. Like the glass slipper in Cinderella, every
piece of the wonderfully handcrafted lingerie fit perfectly. I
laced up back as tight as I could, and smiled.

"How's it going in there, honey?"
I heard her say from the front counter.

"You have to see this, Belinda.
It's the most beautiful thing I've ever worn."

I lifted my hair above my neck and
checked out my backside as footsteps travel down the hallway. She
would be so thrilled to see how well it fit. The doorknob jiggled,
and I unlocked it.

"See how well it fits my hips?" I
dropped my hair and focused on jade green eyes.

Finn.

"You're the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen," he said.

I swallowed. I opened my mouth and
closed it.

"Glad to know I can handpick
lingerie for you."

He grabbed my hips and pulled me
closer to him. Our lips slammed into one another with so much force
and passion, and we couldn't get enough of one another. Want and
need, and desire mixed inside of our mouths, we fought a battle
neither one of us would ever win. He pushed me against the wall,
and I moaned his name.

"Finn."

His forehead touched mine, and he
placed one finger over my lips.

"Shh."

I opened mouth and began sucking
his lip, wishing it were him. With gentle hands, he ran his fingers
across my face and through my hair. Soft lips kissed my neck, my
mouth, and the tops of my breasts, causing little chill bumps to
cover my body. My heart fluttered with excitement.

"Each time I think of you with
Luketon, it kills a small piece of me." He nibbled on my ear. "I
can't stand the thought of you lying in bed with him. You giving
that piece of yourself that should belong to me… that piece of you
that I've wanted since the first time I laid eyes on
you."

I ran my hands up his shirt and
brushed them across his skin. He continued to whisper. "You drive
me crazy. Your hair. Your smell. Your innocence."

I needed to talk. To tell him how
I felt, but each time, he would stop and kiss my mouth.

"Don't say a word," he said,
breathlessly.

"I've never loved another person
since… I don't know how. But I know that loving you would be easy,"
he said, giving me more of his all-encapsulating kisses.

This is it
, I thought. The
moment where he would tell me how he truly feels. Where we would
speak all of the unspoken words we exchanged with our bodies. I
waited for him to tell me everything I wanted to hear.

"But we can't keep doing this,
Jennifer."

And as if someone punched me in
the throat, he pulled away and shut me off instantaneously. Before
I completely lost Finnley, I begged, pulling the hem of his shirt
for him to come closer.

"
Please
," I somehow managed
to choke out.

One last time, he grabbed the
bottom of my chin, and kissed me so soft, so sweet, so sensually
that I almost melted into him completely.

"We can't do this ever again,
Jennifer. This has to stop now before we're in too deep. Before we
do something that we both regret."

He turned and walked to the door,
but stopped before leaving.

"I would never regret any moments
I share with you," I said.

Crossing his arms, Finn leaned
against the door, taking one last look as if he would never see me
this way again.

"Luketon will love seeing you in
that."

He leaned over, pressed his lips
against my cheek, and then he was gone.

The jingle of the bell rang down
the hall, letting the whole building know that he had left.
Deflated, completely and utterly empty, I sat on the floor and
tried not to let my emotions take over. Eventually, I would break
down. But it wouldn't be today.

The realization hit that maybe I
was weak after all, weak for Finnley Felton.

Eighteen

I
stood and slowly untied
the delicate lace.

Like a robot, I slipped on my
clothes and marched to the front of the store.

Is this what heartbreak felt like?
Is this what the sad songs sung about?

What the hell did I think would
happen between us, anyway? I'm nothing more than protocol.
Something pretty to look at like a glass ornament or a
trinket.

Belinda placed the lingerie in a
pretty little box and tied it with a bow; rapport, she had
it.

"I'll charge it to the account,
honey."

Finn's account.

Funny how he special ordered it
just for me, and showed up to tell me that very thing. Just another
dose of mind-fuckery and Finnley games before I would wear this to
bed for another man. The lingerie was nothing more than a fucked up
reminder that Finn owned me, that no matter what, no matter who
took my virginity, I would always be his property.

Outside of the storefront, Jesse
leisurely sat on a bench and smoked a cigarette. When she saw me,
she smudged it on the cement and blew out the rest of the smoke. An
Elite wasn't supposed to smoke. Bitch broke her own
rules.

"I assume you found what you
needed."

"I did, actually."

I tried not to sound like a bitch,
but it was a little harder than I thought. My mood and emotions
already had too many vicissitudes, and it was barely lunchtime. I
wanted a do-over of this day, but that wasn't an option. Next stop,
the fucking dress shop, Cynthia's.

Cynthia's always intimidated me.
Only upper class women shopped in stores where dresses were
tailored to their body shape. We had nothing like this at
home.

Jesse, always the businesswoman,
leader of the Girls, spoke with the woman in quiet
whispers.

"Oh, really? I have just the gown
for the occasion."