Weak for Him (25 page)

Everything would
change.

I couldn't handle more
change.

But as I looked into his eyes, my
breath and words didn't seem to come, and I knew that everything he
spoke of, I felt. Love
could
be cruel, and toxic, and
overpowering. Love could jab you in the heart and leave you dry,
but love could also make the birds sing louder, make the music
sound lovelier, and make the wind blow sweeter.

"I know what you're thinking. Your
face gave it away."

He whispered into my ear, and I
closed my eyes.

His breath lingered on my neck
while his hands lightly grazed my arms, pulling me closer to him.
He
did
know what I was thinking, and every fiber of my being
instantly responded, even when I told it not to, even when I tried
to hold it back. Somehow, my heart knew, but my mind continued to
fight against it. Because I couldn't give in. It wasn't an
option.

Finn placed his forehead against
mine and stared into my eyes, and for a moment, I thought I could
see his soul. My arms found their way around his neck and his
twined around my waist. Then he was lifting me into the air and my
legs naturally wrapped around his waist. His hands were on my ass,
and I looked down into his eyes—his beautiful jade green eyes that
seemed to know me when I didn't know myself. That seemed to call me
from across any room, and speak words that were never
said.

My lips magnetized toward his and
we kissed. Not rushing one another, but fully taking in the
perplexity of the situation at hand.

Gravity had vanished, and I was
floating, completely weightless in Finn's arms. He used his teeth
and nibbled my bottom lip, and then his tongue found mine and
saliva mingled, creating a mixture of Jennifer and Finnley, a love
potion so strong that Cupid himself couldn't claim it.

He broke away and placed me on my
feet, but I thought I might not be able to stand. I nervously
giggled, and his hand found my face and trailed down the back of my
neck. He was pushing my lips to his again for seconds—and
thirds—being so greedy, trying to take as much of me that he could.
Our top and bottom lips alternated; I wanted to taste his full
bottom lips while he wanted my top, and we switched, fully taking
in the kiss, sucking and biting one another playfully.

What started soft became hard and
we fought, trying to keep our hands from forbidden places. But his
hands wandered across each part of my body, memorizing every curve,
every muscle and dip, and he moaned with satisfaction as he trailed
up my shirt.

Love and lust flowed through my
veins, and I felt completely powerless as he touched me. We lost
ourselves in the moment, in the nibbles and kisses, in the powerful
exchange of pent-up emotions.

"What are you doing to me?" he
whispered. And I didn't know.

"I don't think I can stop. My
intentions were never to hurt you, or make you fall in love. All I
ever wanted to do was break you down and build you back the way I
wanted. And it worked, didn't it?"

Dizziness overcame me, and I felt
like I couldn't have enough of him, but I had too much at the same
time. And then his lips were on my collarbone, trailing across my
face, and tugging on my earlobe, making me sigh with satisfaction.
We took a break, only to catch our breaths, and to make sure we
weren't dreaming. A smile, a kiss, fingers running through my wet
hair, and then he led me to his bedroom.

I followed.

I couldn't resist.

I'd been drugged by his taste, by
his scent, by him, and if it was wrong, then so be it because at
that moment, my heart told me it was right.

Twenty-six

H
e pulled me by two
fingers, led me down the hall, and opened the door. I had never
been inside his room before. Abstract paintings on the walls,
skylights in the ceiling, and a large bed below. It was everything
I imagined it'd be, forbidden and off-limits, but simple in its own
way.

More kissing, more lip sucking,
more touching, and then I was being pushed against the wall with my
arms restricted above my head. I broke free and ran my fingers
through his shaggy, soft hair, then I was taking off Finnley's
pants, and he was removing my shirt and pajama bottoms until we
stood naked in front of one another for the first time.

I took him in, all of him, every
single muscle until my eyes landed on his manhood. My heart
galloped fast, and a bolt of adrenaline shot through my body as I
looked with curiosity and uncertainty. Then our lips were dancing,
mingling, and I memorized his mouth while he moved me backward to
the bed.

We lay next to one another; his
hands found my sex and mine his. He touched me, and I stroked him.
I sat up in bed on all fours, and placed my mouth around his
hardness. I had never given head before, but I had been told how. I
would have to remember to thank Lori for the graphic banana show
later.

I started licking the outside, and
then placed the tip of him between my lips. He moaned with
satisfaction as I placed most of him in my mouth. His hands rubbed
and spanked my ass, and the thought of him, inside me, made me want
him even more. I kissed up his stomach and watched his chest rise
and fall with each ragged breath. His hands found their way into my
hair, and he pulled my face closer to his.

He positioned me on all fours and
slipped his head between my legs, licking my wetness, and then I
had him in my mouth, teasing and pleasing him in the same way that
he did me. He spread my lips apart and as his tongue found my clit,
I saw stars. Actual stars, I thought, when he licked me, slow and
gentle. My hips began to move, and I pushed my sex harder into his
face, letting him fully taste all of me. I stroked and licked every
bit of him, the tip down the shaft, and he wrapped his arms around
my waist in pleasure as I sucked and nibbled, and lightly grazed my
fingers across his legs, and up his hardness.

Figure eights and circles from his
tongue urged me to push harder onto him, wanting him to make me
come as the build-up happened below. And then his finger was inside
of me, and I couldn't control myself.

"I can taste you," he said. And
with those words, the orgasm built and then released. I moaned his
name as I convulsed and throbbed. An orgasm so powerful, and
clenching, that it seemed to take over my entire body. The
intensity from Finnley's tongue took me away to another place.
Heaven, I thought.

Every internal part of me sprung
to life as he dipped his tongue in and out, tasting my sweet honey,
and I moaned his name and pushed him further down my throat. He
groaned in satisfaction as he rolled me on my back and trailed his
fingers up my body. Then Finn's sexy face was floating above mine,
asking me with his eyes if it was okay.

We were breathing together as if
we couldn't catch our breaths.

His eyes deepened, and so did his
kisses.

His hand touched my body. And
every place was paired with intoxicating bites that made my head
swim.

"I'll go slow," he whispered in
that British accent that was so fucking hot. I smiled. He exhaled
slowly and his breath tingled on my skin. I was so wet, so ready
for him, so turned on, and I wanted to give myself to him in every
sense. I opened my legs and he hovered on top of me, still trying
to make our inseparable lips melt into one. And then, he was barely
inside of me, pushing his hardness into me slowly and gently until
all of him crowded inside me.

I froze as I felt the pressure,
the foreignness of him in me and I closed my eyes, taking in what
we had done, reveling in every sensation. He didn't move. We stayed
there as close as we possibly could be, completely inside of one
another with our pieces fitting together perfectly. He
smiled.

"You feel so fucking good around
me," he said. His lips brushed across my cheek and he slowly moved
in and out, making sure I was okay. His thrusts slightly picked up
in speed. His low moans accompanied mine. When he came, Finn
pressed his lips onto mine, and I dug my fingernails into his back
and pulled him closer to me. Sweet satisfaction crossed his face,
and then I felt him pulse inside of me as he filled me with
himself. The love, the adoration, the way Finn was careful with me,
made me feel no regret. I wanted to close my eyes and replay this
moment a million times.

Pure contentment covered my face
and body as he nuzzled his nose with mine, kissed me until my lips
felt sore, and lay on top of me stroking his fingers through my
hair, telling me how beautiful I was until our bodies became sticky
with sweat. There was no roughness, although my hips, legs, and
insides were sore from stretching and moving in ways they hadn't
managed before. I didn't instantly come when he was inside of me
like in the movies. There was no bleeding, and I felt no different
than I had before sex. Well other than the growing admiration and
feelings I had for the beautiful man that lay beside me. Honestly,
I halfway expected a fairy sex mother to pop up and give me a
no-longer-a-virgin badge.

Then my mind went to Luke and
guilt blanketed me. Guilt for being such a bitch and for giving
something away that he thought belonged to him. I couldn't think
about it. I wouldn't even know how to begin to tell him. I would be
the reason he was hurt.
Fuck
. I pushed it out of my
thoughts. Being with Finn like this coaxed me to forget it all:
Luke, my parents, and Abbie.

I squeezed my legs together
feeling the soreness and rolled over as he held me in his arms, ran
his fingers through my hair, and kissed my forehead with his pouty
lips.

Finn and I stared at one another
with stupid grins on our faces in pure bliss of being with one
another in the most powerful, emotionally, physical way
possible.

We were there, together, and he
had taken what I always knew belonged to him: my
virginity.

"I think I may be in love," I said
as I trailed my fingers across his stomach muscles and tucked my
head into his arms.

"I know…"

He kissed my eyelids and cheeks,
and finished with my mouth and a smile.

"And you're fired."

Finnley

Epilogue

H
oney-brown eyes looked up
at me like I had rescued them from evil. Urging, begging me to give
all of me to her: heart, body, and soul.

Every inch of her body latched to
mine, unwavering, refusing to let go, trying to swallow me whole.
She panted and moaned, and her body begged while her fingers
scratched down my back, leaving stinging pleasurable scrapes. With
her tongue in my mouth, she opened her legs wide, stretching
herself, trying to swallow every inch of me. Then I stared into her
eyes until she contained all of my length and girth. She sighed and
smiled with pleasure, and the sound of my name releasing from her
lips combined with the nibbling on my ear pulled me closer to her
soul. She ended where I began. I was fucking weak for her touch and
couldn't take it anymore.

We continued to mend our bodies
together, moving slowly with the rhythms of one another until I
filled her with every bit of me, thrusting the powerful orgasm deep
inside of her. She smiled with pure ecstasy as she ran her fingers
through my hair and pulled me closer to her mouth, desperate to
kiss me soft and sweet. I nuzzled her neck, kissed her cheeks, her
hair, every part of her that I could.

The most beautiful woman in the
world gave me her virginity, which was so sacred, so pure that
every emotion inside of me sprung to life. I would treasure that
moment until the day I died. And although I was there with her,
completely locked together, I wanted more of her, every inch of her
skin, and mouth, and cheeks. I needed her like air. I was afraid it
would come to that.

My dick wanted her every time she
was around. The smell of her body, sweet and clean like mountain
flowers, mixed with her signature I-want-to-fuck-you look, drove me
insane. Blue balls had been my middle name since I met her, and
finally,
finally
, we were together, making love in my bed.
Both wishing it would never end, whispering sweet nothings to one
another, speaking words that didn't need to be spoken. I expected
to wake up with a wad in my underwear, but this was no dream. The
pain of her bites and nails would linger tomorrow, and I was happy
for it.

Don't judge me.

I tried to get over her. I tried
to fuck and play with other women. I even forced myself away from
her for weeks, but it never worked. Faking every fuck I had left me
feeling ashamed and angry with myself. After sex, I felt like a
giant pussy. I knew it boiled down to Jennifer. I was weak for
her
,
and until I had her, nothing would quench my thirst.
Her virginity was
mine
for the taking.

Fuck my little brother, Luke. He
was in over his head when he went for Jennifer, and I wouldn't have
it. She was an Elite. Love was prohibited, but when I saw the way
she looked at him like she had once looked at me, I couldn't handle
it. I had to know it wasn't real and that Luke was just an
assignment. I couldn't stand the thought of him fucking her
senseless and wearing her on his arm like a trophy, one that he
paid for. I may be a bastard, but I don't like having my nose
rubbed in my own shit.