Miles raised an eyebrow, taking in his friend’s attire. ‘Interesting look you have there. Is it the new dishevelled surgeon look you were after? Because I think you’ve achieved it.’
‘I couldn’t sleep. Too much on my mind.’
‘You’ve been out walking, haven’t you?’ Miles asked rhetorically, knowing his friend of old. The two men headed out of the cafeteria, talking as they walked. ‘Your all-night walking and thinking escapades usually only happen when you can’t figure things out. Now, I know the twins are fine because I’ve already been around to see them, so that can only mean it’s their mother who’s been keeping you awake. She’s clearly messing with your mind.’
‘How do you even know what’s in my mind?’ Will spluttered, and became even more annoyed when Miles had the audacity to chuckle.
‘Because I’ve been in your position, mate. If it’s love that’s bothering you, don’t even try to work it out.’ They rounded the corner into a longer corridor and continued their way to the paediatric unit. ‘I tried to fight love and look …’ He held up his left hand, where a gold wedding band gleamed. He laughed again. ‘I’ve never been more happy in my life. Janessa is … everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman and, where for years I thought I’d never find happiness again, it jumped up and slapped me right between the eyes the instant I saw her.’
‘You think I’ve fallen in love with Sheena?’
Miles snorted. ‘I don’t think you ever
stopped
loving her. She may have broken your heart ten years ago but back then she thought she was doing the right thing, but right or wrong and no matter what you may have been able to trick yourself into believing, it’s as plain as the nose on your face that you still love that woman … and her adorable girls.’
‘Who
doesn’t
love those girls?’ Will tried to smooth his crumpled shirt. He’d meant to head back to his parents’ house and change his clothes before taking Sheena and the girls out but now he’d run out of time.
‘True, but not the way you do. I’ve seen you with them and both Ellie and Sarah have you wrapped firmly around their tiny fingers. As for their mother—well, whenever you two are in the same room the tension buzzing between you is almost enough to power the entire hospital.’
Will frowned in puzzlement. ‘It can’t be that obvious.’
‘It is to me but, then, I’ve known both of you for quite some time. I remember what the two of you were like the last time you were together and I can see the same things happening. Those long looks, those meaningful touches, those secret smiles.’ Miles over-dramatised his words with wide hand gestures. Will felt a smile start to tug at his lips. ‘Add to all of that the fact that I’m a man wildly in love with his wife,’ Miles continued, ‘and I want every other man to be as happy and as fortunate as I am.’
‘And you think I’d be happy with Sheena?’
‘I think the only time you’ve ever truly been happy was when you were with Sheena. Which brings me to my next question.’
Will stopped and faced his friend. ‘Don’t ask it. I’ve been asking myself all night long how I really feel about her and I still haven’t come up with any answers, only more questions.’ The main question was whether he’d be content not to have any natural children of his own. He loved both Sarah and Ellie as though they were his own. With the amount of time he’d spent with them, it was now second nature for him to change them or give them a bottle or simply cuddle them.
Sheena hadn’t restricted him in any way, accepting his help and advice, but he could still see concern in her eyes. She wasn’t sure whether he was going to stay in Australia or whether he was going to go back to the States. He hadn’t been able to talk to her about it because he wasn’t sure himself … yet.
‘All right, then,’ Miles continued. ‘Let me ask you this question. How do you feel when you think of her spending her life with someone else?’ Miles received an immediate growl as his answer.
‘I can’t even go there,’ Will confessed, his jaw clenched, his fists tight, his heart instantly in pain.
‘Interesting.’ They started walking again, drawing closer to the paediatric unit. ‘You and Sheena are good together, Will, but communication wasn’t your strong suit ten years ago—on both sides. Don’t let it hold you back this time.’
‘I don’t intend to. I want to be part of their lives,’ Will said as they stopped just outside the door to the paediatric unit.
‘But?’ Miles prompted.
‘What if Sheena can’t have any more children? What if Ellie and Sarah are it?’
Miles nodded. ‘And there goes your big family picture.’
‘I know it might sound pathetic but I always pictured myself surrounded by a lot of children.’
‘What about adoption? If Sheena can’t have any more children, how about considering it? There are many children out there just waiting to be loved.’
Will nodded but didn’t make any remark. Instead, he opened the door to the unit and instantly heard a baby crying.
‘That’s Sarah,’ he said, quickening his pace.
‘How can you tell? Just from a cry?’ Miles was totally amazed.
‘Sarah’s cry is deeper than Ellie’s and a heck of a lot louder, too.’ Will entered the room and found Sheena trying to quickly finish dressing Ellie, calling to Sarah in a soothing tone.
‘I’m coming, Sarah,’ she said. ‘Mummy’s almost finished. Shh, darling.’
‘Hey. Sorry I’m late.’ Will headed to Sarah’s crib, his heart turning over when she instantly held out her arms to him, wanting him to pick her up. No sooner was she in his arms than her cries subsided and she snuggled into him. Will closed his eyes and hugged the little girl tight. She was
his
Sarah, just as Ellie was
his
Ellie.
And Sheena? Was she
his
Sheena? Was he fortunate enough to still have her love him? He hoped so.
A
S THEY
headed out into the sunshine, Will pushing the pram with ease, Sheena slipped her sunglasses on and made sure the little sunhats were shielding the girls’ eyes properly. Will slipped the hood of the pram into place and breathed in the fresh air.
‘They’re both blinking rapidly,’ Sheena said with a smile on her face. ‘They’re not used to being in direct sunlight.’
‘All that’s going to change. Now that the main surgery is over, they’re both going to start moving more and crawling, and before you know it they’ll be running around creating more mischief than you can imagine.’
‘Oh, help. Don’t say that.’ Sheena laughed. ‘I feel so silly for being nervous about bringing them outside.’
‘You’re nervous?’ he asked as they headed towards the botanical gardens situated near the hospital.
‘I know. I guess it’s because all they’ve known of life are the four walls of the hospital.’
‘They’ve never been outside before?’
Sheena shook her head. ‘Although they were healthy before the surgery, the risk of being outside, of catching a cold or getting sick in some way, was just too great. Miles and Janessa were in complete agreement and none of us wanted to make any mistakes in case it delayed the surgery. Besides, when they were conjoined, they were such a media novelty that even when
I
went out of the hospital grounds I was often photographed and asked questions.’
‘So this is their very first time?’ He nodded, feeling proud that he was here for such a momentous occasion.
‘Yes.’
‘Then you have every right to be silly or nervous or whatever other maternal emotions you feel.’ He winked at her as he pushed the pram along and Sheena felt sparkly inside from his attention. It had always been that way with Will. He just needed to look at her, smile at her and her body came alive with tingles.
She quickly looked away and focused on the girls, making sure they were comfortable. Due to the bandages, the girls were unable to sit up properly but they’d angled both babies so that they could see quite clearly the world around them.
Sheena held open the gate to the gardens as Will pushed the pram through and as they walked around she couldn’t help but feel as though a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
‘I’ve been so scared,’ she confessed to Will as they found a nice place to spread a rug and sit down, the girls content to remain in the pram. They faced the pram towards them and as Sheena talked, Will pulled faces at the girls, making them giggle. ‘Trying to imagine my life outside the hospital gave me nightmares.’
‘That’s understandable.’
‘It is?’
‘Of course.’ Will handed the girls a soft toy each and turned to face Sheena. ‘Your life has been in a state of flux for the past year. Now that the girls have come through the surgery, your life with them can begin. Coming out today was the first step towards looking to the future, and you’ve accomplished it with ease.’ He leaned over and took her hand in his, raising it to his lips. ‘You’re a strong, incredible woman, Sheena Woodcombe, and you’ll be able to handle anything life throws at you.’
Sheena nodded, tingling from his touch, loving the attention but well aware that in the way he spoke he wasn’t including himself in any scenario. Did that mean he wasn’t going to stay in Australia? Was he going to return to the States but didn’t know how to break it to her? They’d agreed to be friends and even though there was a high level of tension buzzing between them whenever they were in the same room, both had been conscious of not following through on it. Re-establishing their friendship had been the most important thing but Sheena had been well aware that with every moment she’d spent with him, whether it was bathing and changing or feeding the girls, she was coming to rely on him more and more. So much so that when he left, when he exited her life, she’d be left with a gaping hole of sheer emptiness that she doubted she’d ever be able to fill.
Even thinking about it now made a lump form in her throat and she looked away from him, over into the trees around them. She sat up straighter, her attention captured by a person hiding behind one of the trees. Her eyes widened when she realised he had a camera and that a large telephoto lens was pointed in their direction.
‘The media.’
‘What about them?’ Will asked, noting the change in her demeanour.
‘They’re over there.’ Sheena shook her head, annoyed that the very first time she’d brought the girls out of the hospital, they’d been followed. Her first instinct was to pack everything up and return to the sanctuary of the hospital as fast as possible but she’d learned through her PR briefings that it was better to face the music and give the photojournalists the scoop they were after.
‘Relax,’ Will said softly. ‘We’ll invite him over. He can take his pictures and then we’ll be left alone.’
Sheena nodded. ‘Agreed, but I don’t like it. My daughters aren’t a sideshow.’
‘No. They’re two little girls who have captured the hearts of many,’ Will said. ‘Including me.’ He pulled Sheena to her feet and embraced her in a protective hug, not caring who saw them. ‘I’ll be right by your side,’ he reassured her. ‘No one’s going to hurt my girls.’
Within another minute Sheena found herself standing behind the pram with Will by her side as they smiled for the camera, the photojournalist as pleased as punch to be allowed to take his photographs. The whole time she smiled, Will’s last words were running around in her head.
‘No one’s going to hurt
my
girls.’
Did that mean that he’d accepted them? That he wanted them? All three of them? Hope began to increase deep within her.
‘Make sure you send us a copy,’ Will said as he started to wheel the pram back towards the hospital. By the time they arrived back in the paediatric unit, Sheena was mentally exhausted and so were the girls. With Will’s help, she settled them in their cribs, singing a lullaby to help them drift off to sleep.
‘I think that’s enough excitement for one day,’ she murmured, delighted when Will brought her a soothing cup of herbal tea. ‘You remembered.’
‘Of course I remembered. Whenever we were working nights, you used to complain that you never got to have your soothing cup of herbal tea.’
‘I never complained,’ she said, going to the window to look out at the sunny afternoon. Will came to stand beside her, sipping his own cup of tea.
‘I beg to differ.’ He chuckled, the warm sound washing over her. She turned slightly, putting her cup on the thick window ledge between the vases of flowers still blooming brightly.
‘Will?’
‘Yes?’
‘What’s happening between us?’
He smiled at her words. ‘We’re being friends.’
‘I know, and I like it very much, but …’ She didn’t have to say another word as he put his cup down and pulled her into his arms. Closing her eyes, she rested her head against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.
‘We’re at a crossroads, Sheena.’ She felt him shake his head. ‘Not just as a possible couple but as singles as well. I have big decisions to make. You have big decisions to make, and in some ways, until those decisions are made, we won’t know how to move forward.’
Sheena opened her eyes and looked up at him. ‘How about you make my decisions and I’ll make yours? That way, the pressure can be off,’ she suggested with a crazy smile.
He looked at her and returned her smile. ‘If only it was that simple.’
‘Seriously, though, is there anything I can help with? Any questions you want answered? We weren’t too good at communicating properly all those years ago, so let’s make sure we don’t take that road again.’
Will thought about things for a while before nodding. ‘OK. Well, I do have a few questions. The first one being about your endometriosis. Are you in any pain? Will you need further surgery?’
Sheena eased out of his arms and saw the concern on his face. ‘The pain isn’t too bad, nowhere near as bad as it used to be, and, yes, there’s a high probability that I’ll require an oophorectomy, possibly a bilateral one, which will mean definitely no more children for little ol’ me.’
‘Oh, Sheenie.’ There was anguish in his eyes. ‘How do you put up with it? Always to be in pain and knowing that with surgical intervention the pain can be removed? You’re so brave, so strong.’ And he wanted to hold her for ever and take away all her pain. He wanted to protect her and her girls for the rest of his life.
‘I put up with it because now that I’ve had the girls, I’m incredibly hopeful. I want more children, Will. I feel incredibly greedy saying that, especially as I’ve already been blessed with two gorgeous girls, but …’ She trailed off. She wanted more children, almost desperately so, and she wanted them to be Will’s. Hers and his. Just as she’d dreamed about all those years ago. ‘The doctors were wrong about me before and perhaps … just perhaps they’re still wrong when they say there’s an incredibly small chance of me conceiving again. So I put up with the pain and I’ll continue to do so if it means that there’s a tiny chance.’
‘So long as your health isn’t at risk.’ They both knew the risks. ‘The chance of conceiving is irrelevant if it means you become sick.’ He shook his head. ‘The thought of you—’ He broke off, unable to say the words out loud. Instead, he put his hands on her shoulders and looked deeply into her eyes. ‘You’re too important, Sheena. To your girls, to Janessa and Miles … and to me.’ He swallowed the lump in his throat. ‘Promise me you’ll look after yourself.’
Sheena met his gaze, unable to believe the intenseness of his blue eyes. ‘I promise.’
‘Good.’ He breathed out in relief before crushing her to him. ‘You are so special to me, Sheena. So incredibly special.’
‘As a friend?’ she asked, and he eased her back to look down into her upturned face.
‘Not
just
as a friend, and I think we both know that.’ A small smile tugged at his mouth. ‘I’ve found it difficult to keep my hands off you ever since I returned to Australia, but I knew I had to.’
‘We needed to talk.’
‘And we did. I want us to stay on the same page, Sheena, to be constantly communicating with each other.’
‘I want that, too, Will. I’m still so sorry for what happened all those years ago and for the way I handled things, but—’
Will didn’t want to hear her apologies so silenced her the best way he knew how and covered her mouth with his own. Sheena gasped in surprise then leaned into him, relaxing against his body, winding her arms about his neck. Closing her eyes, she knew this was the place she’d longed to be for such an incredibly long time. In Will’s arms once more. Being kissed with more than a brief brush of his lips against hers. This was real.
This
was what she’d dreamed about.
Her mouth was smooth and warm and, oh, so ready for him. It was as though her lips had been made specifically for
him
to kiss, and he was relishing every second. Their scents mingled together as he slowly slid his hands up her back, drawing her as close as he possibly could. When she groaned, he took that as an invitation to increase the intensity of the kiss.
Her mouth opened beneath his and they went on a mutual journey of becoming reacquainted. It was exciting, enthralling and exhilarating, and she couldn’t get enough. Never before had his kisses made her feel like this, and she realised that there was definitely something different. Was it maturity? They’d both been through a lot in the past ten years and that had to change a person. He felt so familiar and yet so different, and it was that difference that made her eager to explore, to know more of this new Will who had once again captured her heart.
His kisses continued to turn her entire body to mush and she leaned closer into him, not only wanting his firm body pressed against her own but to find more stability to keep her from sliding to the floor in a boneless mess.
It was Will’s turn to groan as he continued to hold her close, still giving and receiving in equal portions, feeding his need. She was everything he remembered and more, and finally, when he thought his lungs would burst if he didn’t drag oxygen into them, he reluctantly lifted his head from hers but didn’t relinquish his hold on her delectable body.
With their breathing slowly returning to normal, Sheena looked up at him. ‘Wow!’
‘Yeah. Wow. I mean, it was always good between us but that was.’
‘Different.’
‘But good different,’ he confirmed, and she nodded in agreement.
‘Wh-what are we supposed to do now? Where does that incredibly sexy, incredibly passionate kiss leave us?’
‘Shaken,’ he replied with a laugh, but let her go to pace the room, pleased the girls were still sleeping soundly. ‘I have to decide whether to accept Charisma’s job offer or to continue with my work and research in the States. You have to decide where you want to live, where you want to put down roots with your girls. We need to decide whether to pursue this undeniable attraction or to pull back and just remain friends.’
Sheena covered her face with her hands. ‘Why can’t anything in my life be simple?’ she asked rhetorically, before lowering her hands and stepping forward into his pacing path.
‘What do you think about … dating?’
‘Dating?’
‘Sure. For the rest of the time you’re here in Australia, we still work on our friendship but we date as well. There’s no point in denying the attraction between us any more, Will, and it might possibly lead to more confusion, which is the last thing we both want.’
‘So we date.’ He nodded as though the idea had merit. Where the girls were concerned, they both knew they worked well together, but if they had plans to solidify their relationship, to lead towards marriage, they needed to make sure they were definitely on the same page.
Was it possible he would be able to have the fairy-tale family after all? Himself, Sheena and the girls? Could they make this work? It wasn’t the fairy-tale family he’d envisaged all those years ago but did it really matter? Dating might help them both to be sure. He’d rushed into things ten years ago and it had ended in disaster. He wasn’t going to be that foolish this time around.
‘You’re a good catch, Will Beckman.’