She could feel a sneeze starting to build and sniffed, trying to make it go away, twitching her nose to try and get rid of it. She wanted to stay here in Will’s arms and not worry about anything else. She pursed her lips, trying to hold back the building sneeze, but knew it wasn’t doing any good. A shudder began to ripple through her body and if she didn’t pull away from him now and quickly get a tissue … well, it wasn’t going to be pretty.
Jerking back, forcing his arms to suddenly let her go, Sheena spun around and all but lunged for the tissue box. She wrenched out a tissue just in time, sneezed and then blew her nose. She tried to blow quietly so as not to wake the girls, and when she was finished she picked up the tissues and turned to put them in the bin—only to find the room empty.
Will had gone … again.
Will continued to scrub his hands, his mind focused on what lay ahead. Doing his best for his patients was what he’d always done, but this time it was different. This time it was personal and he knew he wasn’t the only one in the operating suite who felt the same way. Both Miles and Janessa were here, along with a lot of the other Adelaide Mercy theatre staff.
Of course, there were also staff who had only arrived the day before, such as Marta von Hugen, a colleague from Philadelphia, with whom both he and Miles had worked with on several occasions. Marta would be in charge of the second team of specialists as surgery of this magnitude meant that staff worked on a rotating basis. Ensuring the health and alertness of all involved with such extensive surgery was of paramount importance.
Will looked at the scans that were up on the viewing box in the theatre room. He’d studied them so completely that he felt he knew every inch of them. As far as the operation went, he’d been faced with far more complicated surgery and had been successful with all of them.
‘It looks good,’ Miles said, coming to stand beside him at the scrub sink.
‘Clean,’ Will agreed. ‘Parapagus twins are the most straightforward when it comes to separation.’
‘Should only take somewhere between fifteen to seventeen hours.’
Will nodded, both of them knowing that they’d been in surgery far longer with other conjoined twins over the years. With Ellie and Sarah being conjoined in the lower body, side to side, and given that they didn’t share any major veins or arteries, the surgery should indeed be straightforward.
Still, that didn’t stop Will from being concerned about Sheena.
‘You’re frowning,’ Miles pointed out. ‘What’s wrong? Have you found something the rest of us have missed?’
‘Do you know what Sheena’s planning to do all day while we’re in surgery?’ He looked back down at his hands, using the special nailbrush to ensure all dirt was definitely gone.
‘As far as I know, she’s going to fill in at the paediatric clinic and then work on the ward.’
‘She’s going to work?’ Will was instantly concerned.
‘She’s a fully qualified—and might I add completely brilliant—paediatrician, and as quite a few of her colleagues are here working with us, offering to hold the fort is her way of helping and keeping her mind busy so she doesn’t dwell on the girls.’
Will pondered that for a moment then nodded. ‘I guess I’d want to keep busy if it were my daughters undergoing extensive surgery.’ He elbowed off the taps and turned with his hands held upwards to receive a sterile towel from one of the nurses. He didn’t want to be thinking about Sheena at this time, or her well-being, or how she was coping, or anything else for that matter. Of course he was concerned about her, just as he would be about any other parents of conjoined twins, but right now he needed to keep his head in the game. ‘Time to be completely focused,’ he murmured.
Miles nodded. ‘It’s never easy operating on someone you know and love. Those little girls are my goddaughters and I love them very much.’
‘There is something special about them,’ Will agreed, a small smile tugging at his lips. It had only been a matter of days since he’d met Ellie and Sarah but he knew that both girls had already infiltrated his heart. He’d tried telling himself that they were just another set of conjoined twins, that they were the same as all the other twins he’d operated on over the years, but he knew he was lying to himself.
As he continued to gown and glove, the theatre nurse tying his mask in place, Will looked to where the six-month-old twins had been anaesthetised and were waiting for their surgeons to start this operation.
Soon he stood beside Miles, the two men so in tune with each other that they were able to communicate with simple glances and looks. Right now, both of them seemed to be wearing the same expression, that of complete focus on what was about to happen.
‘It’s just the same as any other operation,’ Will remarked, and Miles nodded.
‘Switch off the personal, switch on the professional,’ Miles agreed.
They stood there silent for the next minute, waiting for the go-ahead from the anaesthetist. The little girls looked so tiny with tubes and leads coming from them, their radiographs up on the view boxes around the room. On either side of the central theatre were two smaller theatres, which would be used once the girls had been separated.
Paul, the anaesthetist, looked at them and nodded, indicating he was ready. Will looked to Miles. ‘For Sheena,’ he said softly, and Miles gave an imperceptible nod of agreement.
After addressing the theatre staff, Miles began the slow and careful process of making the first incision. This operation was not about speed, it wasn’t about a quick fix. It required a methodical and painstakingly perfect process. No mistakes. Will stood back and watched as his friend and the rest of the team set to work.
When it was time for him to step forward, he looked again at his friend and could see that Miles was smiling beneath his theatre mask.
‘All yours,’ Miles remarked, his voice upbeat.
‘Thanks. Good to hear that tone in your voice, mate.’ The staff shifted around, the orthopaedic theatre nurses coming forward while the others took a much-needed break.
‘Let’s just say there haven’t been any unwanted surprises.’
‘That’s the type of news I like to hear.’ Will checked with the anaesthetist. ‘Status?’
The anaesthetist rattled off his statistics before smiling brightly at Will. ‘Both Ellie and Sarah are doing remarkably well,’ came the jovial reply.
‘Excellent.’ Will straightened his spine as he looked down at the draped little bodies in front of him, the large conjoined pelvic bone neatly exposed. Separating the girls meant that they would be able to lead normal, healthy, happy lives. Two little dark-haired girls and their dark-haired mother. Three beautiful ladies … all on their own.
Will felt a surge of protectiveness pierce his heart at this thought but quickly dismissed it. He wasn’t a part of Sheena’s life any more and yet he’d already come to care deeply for her little girls. He wanted the best for Sarah and Ellie; he wanted to make sure they had every advantage growing up; he wanted them to know how precious they were.
Although he and Miles had told themselves that this surgery was just like any other, that there was nothing different about these babies as opposed to the others they’d operated on, they’d also known that they’d been lying to themselves.
Will paused as he looked down at the girls, a brief moment of panic and fear gripping him. What if something went wrong? What if a problem arose that they’d been unable to anticipate? Would Sheena ever be able to forgive him? The last thing he wanted to do was to cause her pain. After talking with her the other night, he’d come to realise that he was as much at fault for their break-up as Sheena. If only he’d asked her more questions, taken a real interest in
her
rather than simply assuming her life had run a similar course to his own. He’d been blinded by love, blinded by the fact that he’d found his happily-ever-after and had assumed that, because Sheena had admitted her love for him, they would be together for ever.
He’d bought the engagement ring, barely able to contain his excitement at the promise of a rosy future with the woman of his dreams. Then, when she’d turned him down, he’d plummeted, stunned and shocked when she’d confessed she couldn’t have children.
For the first time in his life the perfect fairy-tale family picture he’d always had firmly in his mind had started to shake, the foundation of imagination and anticipation nowhere near as solid as he’d thought.
Now, as he was about to perform this intricate surgery on Sheena’s beautiful girls, he couldn’t help but ponder that if things had gone differently between Sheena and himself, if he’d been less pushy and she’d been more open, these little darlings might have been
his
daughters.
Having always longed to be a father and with those dreams having been cut off with Sheena’s rejection, his hopes and dreams had been pushed aside while he’d focused on his career, knowing that medicine was absolute and something he could control. Until he’d met Beatrice, he hadn’t realised how much he’d locked his heart away, but being back near Sheena made him realise that what he’d felt for Beatrice paled into insignificance when he was around the mother of these gorgeous twins. She’d allowed him to spend quality time with Sarah and Ellie, and seeing the way they were coming to recognise him when he walked into the room, loving the way they would smile and gurgle and make cute little noises, had unlocked those dreams of parenthood from his heart.
Two little girls—without a father.
Was it possible that if he returned to Australia, if he came home to Adelaide, if he and Sheena could find a basis for a solid friendship, he might be able to fill that void? Surrogate father? It wasn’t picture perfect, it wasn’t what he’d always dreamed of, but for some reason these two angels had well and truly captured his heart. Even in the short amount of time he’d spent with them during the past few days, watching the way they interacted with Sheena, smiling at the way Sarah always seemed to be the one causing a ruckus while Ellie preferred to keep things calm, Will had been captivated by these twins.
They were different from his other patients because he cared about their mother. That made all the difference in the world. These girls needed him. Sheena needed someone to lean on, someone who knew her well, and with determination coursing through him he decided that he wanted to be that person. First of all, he needed to do what he’d come here to do and focus on this surgery. He’d mentally walked through the operation so many times that it only took a moment to get his thoughts neatly ordered once more.
He raised his gaze to look at the highly skilled staff ready to work with him.
‘Let’s begin.’
W
ILL
was exhausted but elated, and as he stripped off his theatre garb excitement started to grow as he thought about the look on Sheena’s face when she saw him heading towards her. She would be tense, nervous, worried. He would smile and she would instantly know that every thing was all right. That her girls were fine.
As he exited Theatres, all ready to give her the good news, he was astounded to discover she wasn’t there. He knew she’d planned to work in the paediatric clinic but clinics would be well and truly finished by now. Perhaps she was on the ward. He headed to Paediatrics, still elated at what he and the team of specialists had achieved.
There was always relief when everything had gone according to plan and there was always a strong sense of satisfaction when both babies were doing well after such intense surgery, but this time, with Ellie and Sarah, the two little girls who had completely captured his heart, he felt as though he’d just been handed the moon. Now he could offer that moon to Sheena.
He couldn’t hide the smile on his face as he entered the paediatric ward, his gaze eagerly scanning for Sheena. Raquel-Maria and Clementine, at the nurses’ station, saw him coming and immediately returned his smile.
‘You’re out! By the look on your face, it’s all good news,’ Raquel-Maria commented.
‘Yes. Where’s Sheena?’
Raquel-Maria shook her head. ‘She’s not here. She was about an hour ago, but then she left. We thought she’d gone to Theatres to wait.’
Will continued to scan the ward, just in case the women were wrong. ‘Try paging her. Calling her. Anything!’ Even as he said the words, he was racking his brain to try and figure out where she might have gone. Where would Sheena go? To be alone? To think? To wait?
‘She’s not answering her phone,’ Raquel-Maria said, concern in her tone. ‘I wonder where she might be?’
The chapel.
The words popped into his head and he remembered the other night, as they’d been walking to catch the taxi to Giuseppe’s, she’d mentioned she liked going to the little chapel to think and relax and become one with her thoughts.
‘Never mind, Raquel-Maria.’ Will headed for the ward door. ‘I know where she might be.’ He walked briskly along the long corridors, barely able to contain the urge to run through the hospital, desperate to find her, desperate to give her the good news.
Her girls were fine.
He stepped out into the cool October night air and walked across the courtyard to the small brown-brick chapel. She needed to know. Her girls were safe. She needed to know because already half the hospital had received the news and he didn’t want the mother to be the last to know.
He pushed open the door with an eagerness that surprised him. He needed to see her, to deliver the news that would bring a smile to her face. He wanted to see that smile, so bright, so wide, causing her eyes to sparkle with happiness.
There were several wooden pews on either side of the aisle, the chapel lit with the glow of large candles, the scent of fresh spring flowers filling the air. There was only one person in the chapel, kneeling down, hands resting on the back of the pew in front, head bowed.
Sheena.
Will rushed down, not caring that he was interrupting her thoughts. ‘Sheena!’ He didn’t speak loudly but it was loud enough for her name to echo softly around the walls. She immediately looked up, seeing him coming towards her, entering the row she was in. She rose to her feet, her face filled with anxiety and pain, her heart pounding with ferocity against her ribs such as she’d never felt before.
Will was here. He must have news about her girls.
‘They’re fine. They’re good. They’re better than good.’ The words tumbled from his lips, desperate to give her relief from the torment he could see on her face.
‘Oh. Oh!’ She covered her mouth with one hand as her eyes filled with tears. ‘My girls?’
‘They’re perfect. They handled the surgery with ease. They’re strong, those two. Real fighters.’ There was great pride in his voice as he spoke. ‘There were no complications. Everything went according to plan. Miles and Janessa are monitoring the girls closely in Recovery and everything is perfect. They’re
perfect,
he repeated, his tone conveying his elation.
‘Oh, Will. Thank you.’ She sniffed and threw her arms about his neck, hugging him close. It was the most natural thing to do, to hold him close as she allowed the emotions of relief and happiness to wash over her. ‘Thank you. Thank you. It seems such an insignificant thing to say when I feel so much more, but I can’t thank you enough.’
Will’s arms automatically slid around her waist, keeping her near. She felt good in his arms. Right. As though she belonged there. As though she’d
always
belonged there. Will pushed the realisation away, knowing he would ponder it in more depth much later. Now that the initial surgery was complete, he might be able to give more thinking time to figuring out what might happen next.
‘It’s been my pleasure,’ he murmured near her ear, content to breathe her in. ‘Those girls are fighters. Strong. Independent. Determined. Like their mother.’
‘Oh, Will.’ Sheena pulled back to look at him. ‘That’s so …’ She swallowed, only realising then just how incredibly close she was to his mouth. His glorious, masterful mouth. Her gaze dipped from his eyes to look at his lips before she met his eyes again. ‘Sweet,’ she finished on a whisper, and swallowed, the tension and awareness increasing between them until it was so nearly palpable there was nothing left to do but acknowledge it in the only way they knew how.
They stood there, staring at each other for one more second, and Sheena could take it no longer. With her heart filled with thanks, with elation, with hope, she reached up a little higher and urged his head to dip a little lower, causing their mouths to meet.
She thrilled at the instant touch, the light, feathery sensation as though they were both testing the reaction, both wanting this to happen but also very unsure. There were a lot of what-if’s surrounding them and as she stood there, her arms around his neck, her lips brushing once more across his, her breath mingling with his, Sheena shoved all her reservations, all logical thought completely out the door.
This was Will, the man who had not only been instrumental in assuring her girls were safe and healthy but the man who had the ability to set her heart on fire. She wanted this and she could feel it in the way he held her, the way he brushed his mouth over hers, that he wanted it too. Both seemed intrigued to discover whether their experiences over the past ten years had changed anything. The world had always rocked off its axis when they’d been together and with the way he was making her feel now, it appeared that was still the case.
‘Sheena,’ he murmured against her mouth, kissing her again, unable to believe how incredible this felt.
‘Shh,’ she whispered. ‘It feels so good. Just kiss me, Will.’
He did as she’d bidden, not about to let her down. There had always been a frighteningly natural chemistry existing between them and it was clearly still there, even after a decade of separation. Slowly he allowed his mouth to reacquaint itself with hers, knowing what she liked and what would bring her the most joy.
Holding her close, her body pressed against his, her mouth tilted upwards for his pleasure, he continued to bring them both to the heights, not rushing but giving them both exquisite torture. ‘You taste the same. Like always. Sunshine and strawberries.’ His tone was thick, husky and filled with desire.
With her breathing erratic from his masterful kisses, Sheena sighed and relaxed against him, the emotions of the past few days starting to subside. ‘It was always like this. As though fireworks exploded inside me.’ As she rested her head against his chest, her arms slack around his neck, she listened to the thumping of his heart beating beneath his chest. So strong. So vibrant. As it had always been.
‘Do you remember our very first kiss?’ Will asked a moment later, and Sheena couldn’t help but smile.
‘I was just thinking about that myself. We’d just finished a gruelling thirty-six-hour shift with that nasty motor vehicle accident.’
‘We’d been spending quite a bit of time together.’
‘Two Aussies working in London,’ she finished. ‘I was tired and on my way back to my accommodation and you insisted on walking with me.’
‘It was three o’clock in the morning, Sheena,’ he protested. ‘I wanted to make sure you were safe.’
‘You walked me to my door at the old nurses’ home and we stood on the step, in the cold, staring at each other.’
Will eased back and looked down at her. ‘You looked so tired and exhausted but I could tell you were excited, I could see it in your eyes.’
Sheena smiled up at him, her arms still about his neck as they both took a trip down memory lane. ‘You shuffled your feet, you put your hands into your pockets and you tried not to stare at my lips.’
‘You had the most gorgeous mouth … you still do.’
Sheena felt a thrill of delight buzz through her at his words, amazed that after so long apart the deep-seated need for him was still very much alive.
‘I wasn’t sure whether you’d let me kiss you or deck me one.’
‘I was hoping you’d give in to the thing that was between us—it was so electric, wasn’t it?’
‘You hesitated with your key. You didn’t put it straight into the lock and go inside. You stopped and looked at me and you didn’t seem to want to head in.’
‘I didn’t. I wanted you to kiss me.’
‘And I did.’
Sheena sighed. ‘And it was the most perfect kiss I’ve ever experienced.’
‘Really?’ Will smiled, trying not to preen like a peacock at this news.
‘Yes … although this kiss wasn’t so bad either.’
‘Wasn’t so bad?’ He smiled down at her and her heart melted. ‘I think I’m going to ignore that but only because we need to go and see your girls.’
Sheena breathed in deeply and slowly eased out of his arms. ‘Yes. My babies.’ She nodded, although Will could sense a hint of hesitancy in her words.
‘Is something wrong?’
‘What?’ She looked at him in the dim light of the church. ‘No. Nothing’s wrong.’ She smiled and nodded. ‘Let’s go and see them.’
‘Right.’ He stepped back so they could exit from the seats and as they walked down the aisle of the small, quiet chapel, he could sense the excited anticipation radiating from her. She’d been through so much, especially today, and finally she had the opportunity to go and see her daughters after their life-changing surgery.
As they walked through the hospital, it was apparent that the good news had travelled fast and everyone they met seemed to beam brightly with happiness at the news that the girls were doing well.
‘Fantastic news, Sheena,’ one nurse said as they passed in the corridor.
‘So happy for the babies,’ a cleaner said as they rounded a corner.
Will was happy to share in Sheena’s elation as she received comments from her co-workers but what surprised him was the level of elation coursing through him. It was odd simply because he’d performed far more difficult separation surgery, which had dragged on for far longer than today’s operation, and still hadn’t felt this level of happiness. Why was he so happy? So upbeat?
He glanced at the woman walking beside him, the woman who was smiling so brightly he knew her cheek muscles must be hurting. She looked so incredibly beautiful with her eyes sparkling and her cheeks all rosy. He swallowed and licked his lips, surprised to find the taste of Sheena still lingering there.
It was then he realised it wasn’t just the successful operation that had him so happy but the fact that he’d kissed Sheena. It was something he’d promised himself he wouldn’t do, but how was he to know that the attraction he’d felt for this woman had only been lying dormant, waiting to be reawakened with her sweet laugh, her sunny smiles and her alluring scent?
‘There you are,’ the theatre sister remarked as they headed into the theatre block. ‘Janessa and Miles have been expecting you.’
‘Sorry.’ Sheena clasped her hands together as she walked along the corridors and more people offered their happy thoughts at the joyous outcome for the girls. All of it—the sights, the sounds, the smells—became muted. All she could hear as she advanced towards the theatres where the girls were being monitored was the sound of her pounding heart.
Her girls, her beautiful babies, had been separated. They were both alive and progressing well. It was the news she’d only prayed she’d hear, but now that the moment of actually seeing them was upon her, she was gripped with fear. Not fear for her girls but rather fear for the enormous task ahead of her.
Was she up to the task of being both mother and father to her twins? Up until now she hadn’t been able to focus on anything else except the surgery. Now that it was over, she felt as though she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. Her feet started to drag and she licked her suddenly dry lips, her eyes wide with concern.
‘Sheena?’ Will stopped and waited for her when he realised she’d slowed down. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked, the smile sliding from his face as he watched her closely.
She stopped, swallowed and tried again, feeling silly for voicing her fears out loud. ‘I’m … I’m scared, Will.’
‘Scared? What about? The girls are strong, they’re fighters and they’re fine. They’re both healthy. Of course, they’ll each require further surgery but that’s all minor and quite a few weeks away. For now, though, everything is looking better than expected, better than the surgical teams could have hoped.’
‘I know. I know, and I appreciate everyone’s efforts, their skills, their support, their caring, but … now it’s all up to me.’
Panic was beginning to rise in her voice and anxiety was written all over her face. ‘In six months,’ she said, ‘Miles and Janessa will head off overseas, doing their own thing, helping others, and that’s good. I’m really happy for them. Everyone else here at the hospital has their own lives despite how much they care for my girls. I’ll leave the hospital and I’ll be all alone. I have nowhere to take my girls when we leave here and wherever we end up, I’ll be raising them on my own and what if—?’