‘He really didn’t want the children?’
She shook her head. ‘He really didn’t. He said I’d lied to him, telling him I could never have children and then conceiving only twelve months after we were married. He said I’d violated our prenuptial agreement and that it was grounds for divorce. Within the week he’d contacted his solicitor, packed up my belongings and made me leave the house.’
‘He kicked you out!’ Will couldn’t help but see red at some other man treating any woman in such a fashion, let alone Sheena. ‘That’s disgusting.’
Sheena shrugged and sighed. ‘He was well within his legal rights. Besides, at least he was honest. At least he didn’t pretend he was happy when he wasn’t, unlike my parents.’
‘Your
parents?’
‘My parents are very wealthy, very prominent solicitors in Sydney.’
‘They’re alive? I’d always thought they’d passed away as you never spoke of them.’ He shook his head. Why didn’t he know all of this? The two of them had been so close, or so he’d thought.
‘We don’t talk. We haven’t spoken in …’ She paused for a moment as she tried to calculate. ‘Well over two decades—ever since my fourteenth birthday. I was at boarding school and had been told by my teacher that my parents were supposed to pick me up and take me out for the day. They never showed. I called the house, worried that they might have had an accident, that something bad might have happened, but I was told by Harrington, our butler, that my parents had flown overseas that morning on urgent business and wouldn’t be back for six months.’
She looked down at her hands and gave a small shrug. ‘They’d forgotten me—again. I didn’t hear from them during the rest of my time at boarding school. Then, as soon as I turned eighteen, their contract—as they called it—with me expired and I was told by one of their solicitor colleagues hired to handle my “case” that I was on my own.’
‘Oh, Sheena.’ Will felt her pain and wanted to be there for her, to touch her, to let her know how disturbed he was to learn of her past. He wasn’t entirely sure what sort of reaction from him was appropriate when rehashing the past with an old girlfriend … so he sat and waited for her to continue.
‘Apparently, when my mother discovered she was pregnant with me, she said she felt as though her world had come to an end. My father wasn’t interested in her any more because she was large and fat—her words, not mine.’
Sheena shook her head, trying not to feel hurt and betrayed, but she couldn’t help it. After all these years, the cold, impersonal way in which she’d been raised still had the ability to hurt her. It also made her determined
never
to do that to
her
girls. ‘She even once told me that if the doctor who had first confirmed her pregnancy hadn’t been part of their social set, she would have had an abortion. However, she couldn’t deal with the possibility of being ostracised by her friends, most of whom had the odd child or two, so she decided to continue with the pregnancy.’
‘What? How old were you when she told you that?’
‘Seven. I remember asking her why she never came to see me at boarding school, why she never attended the school concerts I took part in, why I was driven to and from school by a chauffeur rather than my father. Of course, I had no idea what the word
abortion
meant so I asked my teachers.’
‘I had no idea.’ He shook his head. ‘Why didn’t you tell me any of this before? How come I don’t know this about you?’ It also made him wonder whether he’d been so wrapped up in creating his own perfect family picture that he hadn’t bothered to dig a little deeper where Sheena was concerned.
She shrugged. ‘I didn’t talk about it at all. Period. My parents didn’t share a caring bone in their bodies—except perhaps for each other, and even then I’m not so sure. My mother demanded a C-section delivery, simply because she refused to give birth naturally, and then when she’d regained her pre-pregnancy figure my father started paying her attention again. I was only endured because to do otherwise would have brought ridicule from their elitist friends. To them, having “offspring” was considered acceptable, even though they didn’t raise me.’
Will thought for a moment, recalling some of the conversations they’d had or, more correctly, the times he’d talked about his family, not realising that Sheena had
never
talked of hers. ‘And then there was me. Always going on about my parents and my siblings and my nieces and nephews.’
‘You didn’t go on.’ She smiled. ‘I loved hearing your stories. I loved them so much and I could tell that family was so very important to you. You
needed
children, Will, so you
needed
a wife who could give you that.’ She shook her head sadly. ‘That wasn’t me.’
‘So you turned me down. Instead of talking to me, instead of sharing with me, instead of trusting me, you simply decided to run away?’
‘Hey, I didn’t run away. It was extremely difficult for me to do what needed to be done. I was raised in a non-communicative household and then a boarding school so I’ve never been any good at talking about my feelings, but I didn’t run away from you.’ She tried not to raise her voice, to keep her tone on that calm, even footing she wanted, but it was difficult when he was accusing her.
Will shook his head. ‘No. Not buying it. Those may have been the reasons you
told
yourself you couldn’t accept me but deep down inside you were scared. I can see that now. You were scared of opening up, of getting close to someone. You probably thought that one day I would slap you down the way everyone else around you had done, and so you rejected me before I could reject you. A pre-emptive strike.’
Sheena knew his words were close to the truth. She
had
been scared, scared that he would one day come to really hate her … and she hadn’t been able to live with even the thought of that. ‘Or that if I’d said yes, if I’d accepted your proposal and we’d got married, you would have eventually come to hate me for not being able to give you the one thing you’ve always wanted—a great big happy family.
‘And if you
had
married me, those gorgeous girls wouldn’t just be yours, they’d be ours.
Our
miracle. Instead, they belong to another man … another man who doesn’t even want them.’ The last words were said with utter disgust.
‘Which is why I intend to give them all the love I have and more. Those girls are my life and I will do anything and everything to ensure their health and happiness. Even when I had a lot of bleeding early on in the pregnancy and even when I had to stay bedridden, feeling as though I had no other purpose in life than to be a human incubator, nothing else mattered other than giving my babies everything I had to give. From the instant I was told about them, I’ve loved them with every fibre of my being. And I shall continue to be there for them, to provide them with a happy home for the rest of my life.’ Vehemence laced her tone, pride stiffened her backbone and determination was written all over her face.
When the waiter arrived with their food, his presence almost startled her and she realised she’d become too intensely focused on herself and Will. The rest of the restaurant came back into focus—the sights, the smells, the surroundings. The waiter smiled politely, wished them a brief
‘Buon appetito’
then left them alone once more.
Will quietly picked up his fork and twirled it into his pasta before lifting it to his lips. ‘Mmm,’ he said a moment later. ‘Delicious. Good choice of restaurant, Sheena.’
That was it? Wasn’t he going to ask any more questions or had he discovered all the answers he needed? Confusion swam through her and as she started to calm down, she realised the waiter had unfurled her napkin and placed it in her lap. An uncomfortable silence started to settle over them and Sheena wasn’t sure what to say to alleviate it.
‘Why don’t the girls have your husband’s surname?’ Will asked after a few minutes, his words so abrupt that Sheena almost dropped her fork to her plate. ‘I’ve noticed on their charts that they’re both listed as Woodcombe.’
Sheena shrugged. ‘As Jonas wasn’t interested in the girls and as I hadn’t changed my name when we married, it seemed ridiculous for us to have different surnames.’
‘You didn’t change your name.’ He pondered the words, intrigued that she’d chosen to remain a Woodcombe given that she had no ties to her family heritage. Had that been because the process was too time consuming, or because deep down inside she’d known her marriage to Jonas would never last?
‘My medical degree is in the name of Sheena Woodcombe. Whether or not I’d changed it, I’d still have to practice as Dr Woodcombe. It just seemed simpler to leave things as they were.’
‘It didn’t bother your ex-husband?’
‘No. Why? Would it bother you?’
Will pondered her words for a moment then leaned forward a little. ‘Not that it has anything to do with our present situation, but if we’d been married, would you have changed your name?’
Sheena nodded, her decision almost instant, as though at some point she’d given it some thought. ‘More than likely. Besides, when we were together I was still a registrar and didn’t have my paediatric consultant qualifications.’
‘So it’s all logistics to you?’
‘I’ve had to be logical. It was the only defence I had against the way I was raised. Closing myself off, being logical about all things was the only way I could cope. Janessa was the first person ever to break through my barriers … and …’ She took a calming breath, reminding herself that she was being completely honest with him tonight. ‘And you were second.’
‘And what about Jonas? Was he the third?’
‘No. Jonas never broke through my barriers. I loved him but it was more companionship. A marriage I could be in so that I had someone to share things with, to discuss my day with. Marriage is all about someone else being a witness to your life and at that time I was very lonely. I had Janessa and I had my work and that was it.’ She shook her head. ‘I don’t expect you to understand as you have a plethora of siblings and loving, caring parents who are actually interested in your life, who
want
to talk to you, who
want
to spend time with you.’
‘I do understand, Sheena.’ He nodded slowly. ‘I’ve been living overseas for well over a decade now and although I am in contact with my parents, they don’t know much about my life. About the way I’m always working to stave off loneliness.’
‘You’ve been lonely?’ Sheena’s heart started to ache for him, to ache for this man who had meant so much to her.
‘Don’t sound so surprised, Sheena. Loneliness can happen to people even if they have a big family around them. Being an only child to indifferent parents doesn’t give you a monopoly on the emotion.’
‘Uh …’ She shook her head. ‘No. I never meant to imply that it did.’ She bit her lip and asked again the question she’d asked during the taxi ride to the restaurant. ‘Didn’t you…? I mean … I thought you would have met someone else. I thought by now that you would be married with that large family you always wanted.’
Will looked down at his food and placed his fork on the side of his plate, lifting his gaze to give Sheena his full attention. He’d asked about her and she’d replied. It was only fair that he do the same.
‘I did meet someone else. Beatrice. We met through work. She was a lawyer advising on a medico-legal case I was involved with. We dated, became engaged and then.’ He stopped and shook his head. ‘I broke it off. We were heading off to the printer to do a final check on the invitations as they were due to be sent out the following day and I.’ He stopped again and ran a hand over his face as though he couldn’t believe what had transpired.
‘It
felt
wrong. I can’t explain it any other way. Everything about the wedding, about spending the rest of my life with Beatrice, just felt … wrong.’ He could still hear Beatrice telling him that he spent more time at work than with her. That work was his first priority whereas
she
should have been. He had known that that would never change.
He was dedicated to his job and, as he’d told Sheena at the wedding, it made him happy. He’d buried himself in work when Sheena had left and it had taken quite a few years for him to start dating again. Finally, though, he’d been able to move on and when he’d met Beatrice, he’d thought he’d once more found happiness.
He’d been wrong … again.
Will cleared his throat. ‘I knew I couldn’t enter into a marriage with doubts and I realised that Beatrice deserved better than me. She deserved someone who would worship the ground she walked on, who would be there for her at the end of a hard day’s work, someone who could spend their weekends with her.’
He picked up his wineglass and twirled the liquid, looking into it but not seeing it at all. Sheena watched him closely. He was miles away. She could see the pain in his eyes and in his furrowed brow as he recalled his past.
‘I was always being called away to an emergency or would be stuck late in Theatre or would be in meetings or on call over the weekend. I was often either interstate or overseas consulting on different cases, especially with conjoined twins. It completely frustrated her. I guess in the end it all took its toll because I could see Beatrice was coming to resent my job, even though she admired my dedication.’ He put the glass down without taking a sip. ‘That was when I came to the conclusion that she deserved better.’
‘It’s difficult doing the right thing—especially when it tears you up inside.’ Sheena spoke softly, remembering the way she’d felt when she’d turned down Will’s proposal, knowing that he deserved better. Even now, sitting across the table from him all these years later, she still felt the pain of that day. ‘I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you, Will. Truly I am.’ There was deep sincerity in her tone.
Before he could reply, a man approached their table.
‘I heard you were in my restaurant and I had to come and say hello to the beautiful mother. It is good to see you in here and not be sending you takeaway.’ The elderly Italian, suave and debonair, pulled Sheena to her feet and kissed both of her cheeks soundly.
‘It’s good to be here, Giuseppe.’ Sheena smiled at the man, genuinely pleased to see him.