‘Fine.’
Had his lips just twitched when he’d said that? She thought she’d detected a slight twitch. Was he amused by her silly antics? With the fact that she’d been head down, tail up when he’d first walked into the room, before becoming dizzy?
She watched as he put his hands into his pockets and with that one move it was as though he’d switched on his professional persona.
Dr
Will Beckman was now in the room. ‘I trust the past three months have been good for you and your girls?’
‘Yes. Yes, they have.’ She nodded for extra emphasis, a little intrigued with his politeness and the way he seemed intent on keeping his distance. From the way he’d left things at the wedding, saying he was curious about her, she’d half expected him to waltz in here and pin her with twenty questions. ‘They’ve both responded well to the surgeries.’
‘I’m pleased to hear that.’
‘Oh, by the way, how’s your patient with rheumatoid arthritis? The one you flew to Australia to collect back in July?’
Both of Will’s eyebrows rose in surprise, revealing a glimpse of the Will she’d known in the past. It was sort of strange to be around him, familiar with his facial expressions and mannerisms and yet not really knowing the man he’d become during the past decade. She was seeing two sides to him and realised the brisk, direct man, the one who seemed to harness a hint of darkness about him, the one who’d both startled and excited her at the wedding, was the one she knew she needed to be wary of.
‘Doing well. Thankfully he responded extremely well to the new treatment and was able to return to Australia about a fortnight ago.’ He nodded, pleased with the satisfactory outcome of that situation.
‘That’s wonderful news. I’ve often thought about you … er … about you and him and his … you know … his case and the research and treatment and … everything. I’m glad it all worked out.’
Will gave her a curious look. ‘I’m astonished that with everything you’ve had going on with your girls you would have even given him another thought. Then again, you always were a considerate doctor, especially when children were involved.’ His words were spoken softly, tenderly and then, almost as though he’d caught himself praising her, he quickly straightened his shoulders and clenched his jaw, his expression changing from one of open appreciation to an unreadable mask. He crossed his arms over his chest and inclined his head towards the crib.
‘Aren’t you going to introduce me to your daughters?’ His tone was professional once again.
‘Oh. Right. Of course. How silly of me.’ Sheena shook her head as she walked over to the crib where the girls lay, unable to believe she’d momentarily forgotten they were even in the room. Ellie was lying there, eyes open, content simply to look around the room. Sarah, thankfully, was sleeping. ‘Hello, baby,’ Sheena crooned as she stroked Ellie’s cheek. Ellie’s little eyelids fluttered closed for a moment before she looked at her mother. ‘I didn’t know you were awake.’ Sheena leaned over and brushed a soft kiss over Ellie’s forehead.
‘Ellie, this is Will. Will, this is Ellie. Sarah, the rowdy one of the two, is thankfully sleeping.’
‘Rowdy, eh?’ There was a slight thickness to his tone as he watched her with the babies. She looked so right, so complete standing there, touching their soft skin, kissing them.
‘They may be conjoined but they have very different personalities. It’s as though they really are two halves of the same whole.’
He nodded, desperate not to be affected with the way she looked near the babies. So calm and happy and … right. He clenched his jaw, hardening his heart against the sight before him. He’d come here to treat the girls, to be a part of the team that would separate them and give them the best chance at living normal, healthy lives. Nothing more. The fact that he wanted answers from Sheena was a bonus and perhaps once she provided him with the truth about why she’d rejected his proposal ten years ago, he’d finally achieve closure on that chapter in his life. He was certain that she’d lied to him, that she’d used the possibility of infertility as an excuse. The evidence of that lie was before him right now. Two babies—
Sheena’s
babies.
He nodded. ‘That’s the way it is with the majority of conjoined twins. One rowdy, one quiet. It’s also the way it is with twins in general, especially identical ones.’
‘Miles says the same thing.’
‘I guess, as we’ve both been working in the field of separating conjoined twins for quite some time now, that we share similar views and opinions on the subject.’
‘You’re the experts. All I know is that Sarah is the one who screams the loudest, who eats the most and who demands all the attention. Ellie, however, doesn’t seem to be at all jealous of her sister’s vivacity. Ellie’s very quiet, very content. Some days I worry about her more.’ There was a wistfulness to Sheena’s tone and she brushed another kiss across Ellie’s forehead. ‘My quiet achiever. See how, even though she’s awake, she doesn’t move or wriggle or make too much noise?’
Will nodded. ‘She doesn’t want to wake Sarah. She’s smart. Sarah may have the sass but Ellie definitely knows what’s what.’
Sheena laughed. ‘I guess you’re right. I’ve never thought of it that way.’
And he’d never thought he’d hear that sweet, relaxed laugh of hers ever again. When she’d left England to return to Australia at the end of her rotation, his world had been devastated. Since then, he’d only been back in to Australia for brief visits to see his parents and siblings, and each time he’d made sure there had been no way he would ever run into Sheena—the woman who had broken his heart into tiny pieces. This time, though, there had been no avoiding the issue. First they’d been thrown together at Miles and Janessa’s wedding and now they’d be seeing each other almost daily because of her daughters.
Now here he stood, back in Australia, back with Sheena, looking down at
her
children in the crib. The little girls were gorgeous and definitely had their mother’s colouring in their bright blue eyes and dark hair. So incredibly beautiful.
He’d always wanted a big family. Little girls and little boys, and he’d wanted them with Sheena. The perfect family. Having been raised in a large, loving home himself, he’d carried this ideal picture with him, only to find that life never turned out the way you planned.
‘How is it that you can know so much about the girls when you’ve only just walked into the room?’ Sheena glanced up at him, amazed at his skill. ‘You were always so good at diagnosing patients, having a bond with them after only a few minutes in their presence. I always envied you that ability.’
When he looked at her, he was astonished to find her blue eyes filled with wonderment and appreciation. He swallowed over the sudden dryness in his throat. Flashes of the times they’d spent together, the way they’d laughed, the way they’d shared intimate moments, the way she’d broken his heart. The images flicked through his mind, one after the other, before he closed the mental door in his mind and hardened his heart.
‘I’ve been working with conjoined twins for quite some time now, Sheena. Recognising their individuality is one of the first aspects of effective care and one that most professionals in this field acquire quite quickly.’
Sheena placed one last kiss on Ellie’s forehead before straightening. She hadn’t missed the way his blue eyes had turned from calm and collected to dark and stormy. She knew him so well that at times it was easy for her to read his expressions. It shouldn’t be that way. Not after all these years.
The fact that their paths had crossed again, under the most far-fetched circumstances, meant nothing. The twins were all that mattered and as she stroked her fingertips lightly down Ellie’s cheek, causing the moppet to close her eyes and relax, Sheena knew she had to find a way to put aside her past relationship with Will and focus on what needed to be done. Ellie and Sarah were the two people in the world who mattered most to her and she couldn’t let them down by becoming a basket case of repressed memories simply because Will was here.
She cleared her throat, still stroking Ellie as her baby fell asleep. ‘Have you had much of a chance to look at scans or operation reports? The tissue expanders have worked wonderfully, although the skin took a little longer to stretch than Miles originally thought.’
‘Miles has kept me apprised on both of the girls since before they were born.’
‘Oh?’ She looked at him then, quite surprised. ‘I had no idea he’d been in such close contact with you for so long.’
‘I was finishing up on another case in Philadelphia. Twin boys who were joined at the spine.’
‘Good heavens.’ Sheena placed a possessive hand on Ellie’s little stomach while the little girl slept alongside her sister. ‘Are they all right?’
‘Both boys are doing very well. They were almost eight months old when we separated them but now they’re fourteen months and both starting to walk around.’
‘Wow. That’s amazing. Did Miles work with you on that case?’
‘Yes. We’ve worked together many times during the past decade. In fact, it was through working with Miles that I initially entered the field of conjoined twins.’ Will paused and frowned for a moment. ‘It gave me something new and challenging to focus on.’
Sheena turned away from the crib and took a step towards him. Will immediately drew himself to his full height, his backbone ramrod straight, his defences in place. Although the action may have been involuntary, it told her a lot. This was the man who had been very important to her all those years ago, the one man in the world who had really understood her, and while they gazed at each other now, she realised that while there still might be an underlying level of attraction simmering beneath the surface, they needed to rise above it, to move past it and to get on with the job at hand.
‘Will, I can’t thank you enough for coming, for accepting the job as orthopaedic surgeon to my girls. It means the world to me to know they’ll be in such safe hands.’
‘They need my expertise. I’m honoured to provide it. It’s as cut and dried as that.’ His words were clipped and he clenched his jaw. Sheena knew of old that that meant he was either highly uncomfortable, embarrassed or trying to hold on to his temper. In this instance, she wondered whether it wasn’t all three.
‘I also don’t want …’ She stopped and laced her fingers together, desperate to keep her composure. ‘I mean … I would be horrified to think that you might think that.’ She stopped again, biting her lip.
She was nervous and unsure. Will could tell quite clearly from the way she was trying not to wring her hands or bite her lip. It annoyed him that after all this time apart, after everything he’d been through in the past decade, he could still read this woman like a book. It was as though everything about Sheena was burned into his memory and would remain with him for ever.
‘We have a past,’ he jumped in, saving her the trouble of expressing what he could see clearly written all over her face. His words were spoken in a clipped and firm tone that indicated he’d made a decision and was following through with it. ‘We were together—so we know each other well. Things didn’t work out. We moved on.’ He smoothed a hand down his silk tie before shoving both hands into the pockets of his trousers. ‘Now, purely for professional reasons, our paths are once more crossing. We’re both very different people now.’
‘You’re right.’ She nodded. ‘I mean, you have a life I know nothing about and I have … well, I have the girls to think about.’
‘What about your ex-husband? Doesn’t he figure in the life of your daughters? Despite what may or may not have happened within your marriage, I had at least expected to see him here, helping you.’
‘Er … no.’
Will shook his head as though disagreeing with her. ‘The parents’ marital problems don’t figure at all in the equation of the actual separation of conjoined twins. It’s the babies that matter most.’
‘I couldn’t agree more.’
‘So where is he?’ He was still frowning, as though not really wanting to talk about this but still wanting to get things completely straight.
‘He’s gone. Out of my life. Wants nothing to do with the girls.’
Will’s expression eased to one of professional concern. ‘You’re all alone? A single parent?’
‘I am.’ Her voice wavered as she said the words and there was deep sadness in her eyes. Was it regret for her defunct marriage? All Will knew was that when she stood there, looking up at him, her blue eyes wide and sad with the corner of her lower lip caught between her teeth, he had to remain strong.
Years ago, he’d loved this woman completely. She’d been vitally important to his life but that time was long past. He wasn’t responsible for protecting her any more. Neither was he responsible for her happiness. He couldn’t allow himself to become ensnared by her again.
Balling his hands into fists in order to stop himself from going to her, Will breathed deeply before nodding once and turning on his heel. He was only here for the babies, not their mother. Yet, as he walked out of the room, he was positive he could feel her watching his every move.
T
HAT
evening, after Sheena had fed and changed the girls, tucking them in so they were ready for their evening sleep, she said goodnight to the night sister and made her way from the ward to the hospital’s residential wing.
It was close to midnight, the hospital corridors all but deserted, and she looked forward to getting to her small apartment. She knew she could get a good five to six hours’ sleep before the girls woke, ready for their breakfast. They were both so lovely, so special and so perfect. Other people might look at the girls and see twins who were joined at the hip but when she looked at them, she saw only Ellie and Sarah, two different little girls, and she loved them completely.
What she longed for most at the moment was to be able to hold them and cuddle them without needing help to get them in and out of the crib. As it was, with the tissue expanders still in, it only made holding them even more difficult, but there was no way she was giving up her cuddles, even if it probably drove the staff around the twist because she needed help each time. Tomorrow the tissue expanders would come out and then early on Monday morning the surgery to separate them, which Miles estimated would take a good twenty hours—maybe more—would begin.
Her girls. Her babies. They’d lived in the hospital all their lives and so knew nothing different, but she did. She was their mother and she was determined to provide for them both, to give them the best chance at life. Still, Miles had already discussed the pros and cons of the impending surgery with her. They all knew the risks, but to leave the twins as conjoined would cause them not only psychological complications but health complications as well. They all knew that separating the girls was the right course of action to take but still … she was their mother and if anything should happen to either one of them.
Sheena stopped walking, trembling with sudden fear, the burning need to just hold her babies one by one overwhelming her. Tears threatened and she closed them, instantly trying to regain a hold over her emotions, calming her mind down, at least until she managed to get back to the privacy of her room. Leaning a hand against the wall, she swallowed over the lump in her throat.
‘Sheena?’
She whirled round at the sound of her name, startled at being discovered and very surprised to find Will standing in the corridor not far from her. Sheena quickly straightened, dropping her hand and sniffing, pulling herself together.
‘Will. Is there something I can help you with? You look lost.’
‘I am. I was looking for the cafeteria.’
She nodded. ‘You’ve come down one extra floor. The cafeteria is directly above us.’ She impatiently blinked the impending tears away, unable to believe that Will, of all people, had caught her at a weak moment. ‘There won’t be any food on offer, just coffee.’
He nodded but didn’t move. He should just turn, walk to the stairwell and leave her alone. He should keep his distance but it was clear she was upset. He’d never been able to resist Sheena when she’d been sad. The need to cheer her up, to support her, was powerful and one he couldn’t ignore. Whatever had happened between them in the past could be put aside, at least for a short while.
‘Are there any restaurants open outside the hospital? Preferably close? Food would be appreciated. My stomach kept growling all through that last meeting.’ He gave her a sheepish smile and Sheena wished he hadn’t. He was far too adorable, far too irresistible when he looked at her like that.
‘Wow, that meeting ran very late.’
‘You’re telling me,’ he scoffed. ‘Restaurants? Any thoughts?’
Glad of the distraction, she mentally went through the restaurants close by. ‘Um … there are a few places still open at this time of night. Two Italian restaurants and also a vegetarian café. Ah, but I’ve just remembered that you’re not a big vegetarian fan, so I guess it’ll be Italian for you.’
‘Well, if you’ve remembered that I don’t like vegetarian food, you’ll also remember that I don’t like to eat alone. Come on. Let’s go.’ He started walking towards the door at the end of the corridor, closing the distance between them. ‘Are the Italian places within walking distance or do we need to take a taxi?’
Her eyes widened at his words. ‘Wait. I can’t go with you. I’m going to bed.’
Will stopped beside her and looked down into her upturned face. ‘I’m willing to bet you haven’t had a proper meal for at least three to four days. Am I right?’
‘Yes.’
‘It’s settled, then.’ He smiled and her heart almost skipped a beat. Good heavens, he was even more handsome than he’d been a decade ago. Her heart started pounding a little faster, the earthy, fresh scent she’d always equated with Will teasing her senses once more.
‘But, Will …’
He rolled his eyes and shook his head, somewhat bemused. ‘It’s just dinner, Sheena. Not a lifelong contract, and the longer you argue with me, the later you’ll get to sleep, and if I know you, which I do, you’ll be back on the ward bright and early to accompany the girls to Theatre.’
Sheena bristled a little at his words, annoyed that he’d made valid points. It
wasn’t
a lifelong contract. It
was
just dinner and she
was
hungry. ‘Of course I’ll be on the ward. They
are
my girls. It’s my responsibility to care for them.’
‘And it’s my present responsibility to eat. Let’s go, Woodcombe.’ He placed his hand beneath her elbow and urged her towards the door.
Sheena pulled her arm free of his grasp, heat burning through her at where he’d touched her. ‘I’m coming. No need to manhandle me, Beckman.’
‘I’m hungry. Let’s hustle.’
‘You always were bad-tempered when you needed food.’ They walked outside into the cool October air and Sheena now wished she’d brought her cardigan instead of leaving it in the girls’ room. Then again, she hadn’t expected to be leaving the hospital to have dinner with Will Beckman.
They walked through the hospital grounds, the silence around them starting to grow tense and a little uncomfortable. In order to help her flustered nerves, which he’d had the audacity to ruffle, Sheena found herself pointing out different buildings as they walked along. It was strange to be making small talk with Will but, then, in many respects, he
was
a stranger.
‘That’s the pathology building and down that way is the medical school. That large building is the administration building and this,’ she said as they walked past a small brick chapel, ‘is where I like to come and just think, to just ponder, to just stop.’
Will looked at the little chapel with its white-painted door, brown bricks and the little steeple on top. ‘A place of solitude.’
Sheena shrugged. ‘We all need one.’
As soon as they reached the roadside, where the taxi rank was situated, Will walked to the first taxi and held the door open for Sheena.
‘Where ya headed?’ the driver asked them as Sheena sat in the back, trying to keep her distance from Will.
‘Giuseppe’s, please,’ she told him, and a moment later they were driving through the streets of Adelaide at midnight.
‘Wow. Everything looks just as I remembered. The country town trying to be a big city.’ He smiled as he said the words.
Sheena frowned. ‘Don’t some of your family live here? I can’t remember.’
‘My parents and one sister. She’s married with children and lives just around the corner from my parents.’
‘I’ll bet your parents are glad to have you home for a while.’
He nodded. ‘They are.’
Sheena sighed, her tone wistful. ‘I always envied your family. Whenever you spoke about them, it always sounded so … wonderful. Lots of siblings, lots of mischief.’ She nodded to herself. ‘That’s what I want for my girls … well, the mischief part at any rate.’
She looked down at her hands, surprised to find they were shaking. ‘Right now, though, I just want them to be healthy.’ She swallowed over the lump in her throat.
‘The projected outcomes for the surgery are good, Sheena.’ Will placed a hand over hers, needing to offer her hope.
‘I know.’ She forced a smile. ‘It’s never easy for a mother when her child is sick or needs surgery. Over the years, I’ve watched the parents of my little patients as their child was wheeled away to surgery and the devastation and fear and pain and anguish reflected in their eyes is now permanently lodged in my throat.’
‘We have a great team together and Miles knows what he’s doing.’
Sheena quickly shook her head. ‘I’m not concerned about the team. I know everyone will do everything they can for my girls. I’m confident with that. What I’m not confident about are these maternal emotions. I never thought I’d have them and now that I do, they’re … intense.’
‘In a way, I envy you.’ Will’s words were soft and he dropped his hand from her shoulder. ‘You’re a parent. You have children. That’s special.’
Sheena looked at him. ‘It is special.’ Her words were a whisper then she cleared her throat, asking the question that had been burning through her since the wedding. ‘You’ve never met … anyone else? I’m not trying to pry, Will,’ she rushed on hurriedly.
‘Sure you are,’ he countered, thoughts of Beatrice coming to his mind. He and Beatrice were well and truly over, had been for the past two years, but he had to admit he would feel strange telling Sheena about his aborted engagement. ‘But why shouldn’t you? Why shouldn’t I? I’ve already told you I’m curious about you and I’m determined to get answers.’
‘You deserve them.’ She nodded. ‘We can clear the air tonight. Start afresh tomorrow.’
‘Just like that?’ He was a little surprised at her words. ‘One hundred per cent honesty?’
‘Yes.’
The taxi slowed before he could say anything more and soon they were climbing out and paying the driver. Neither of them spoke as they were welcomed by one of the waiters and led to a table. Sheena waved to the few other patrons in the restaurant, all of whom worked at Adelaide Mercy.
‘How are the girls tonight?’ one woman asked. Sheena recognised her as one of the dieticians and smiled politely.
‘Growing more and more every day.’
‘Good to hear.’
‘You’re well known,’ Will said, after she’d been asked a few more questions. He held out her chair for her and waited until she was seated before sitting down opposite her.
‘I’m the mother of Adelaide’s conjoined twins, a minor celebrity.’ She spoke with forced joviality, then sighed and shrugged. ‘I’ve become used to it, especially at work.’
‘The press don’t bother you?’
‘Charisma, Adelaide Mercy’s CEO, and the rest of the PR department take care of those things. Apart from when the girls were born, I haven’t really been hounded. The PR department discuss the information with me and give their recommendations, such as which journalists to speak to and who to stay clear of, but other than that things haven’t been too bad. My main focus is to look after the girls.’
‘That’s good to hear. Many parents of conjoined children are often hounded by the media for photographs and update reports. You do know that things will heat up again with the impending separation surgery?’
Sheena nodded and sipped at the glass of water the waiter had just poured for her, declining the offer of wine as she was still expressing milk for the twins. ‘Miles took me through the drill.’
‘Good.’ Will opened the menu and after a moment of perusing it gave his order to the waiter, as did Sheena, and once he’d left them alone, Sheena put both hands on the table and leaned forward a little, not wanting her voice to travel to the other patrons.
‘Shall we begin?’ It all seemed so strange, so civilised but Sheena rationalised this was probably better than ranting and raving and getting way too emotional. Calm and controlled. Open and honest. It seemed the best way to proceed.
‘Now?’
‘Why not? You go first. Ask away.’
Will nodded then jumped right in. ‘When you rejected my proposal, were you telling the truth about not being able to have children?’
Sheena tried not to wince at his accusatory tone and tried not to take it to heart. Will had obviously thought about this as his question had rolled immediately off his tongue with no hesitation whatsoever. She’d agreed to provide him with answers and she was going to follow through. If there was any hope that she and Will could find some common ground, that they could put the past behind them and hopefully become friends, it would be good not only for them but for the girls as well. She would do
anything
for her girls and if it meant being uncomfortable whilst sorting things out, then it would all be worth it.
She swallowed and nodded. ‘Yes. I had bad endometriosis. The chances of me conceiving were, I was told, impossible.’
‘And yet you have twins.’
‘And yet I have twins,’ she agreed, that same secret smile touching her lips. ‘Miracle twins.’ She breathed the two words as though they were her heart and soul. Will found that puzzling yet interesting.
‘So if you knew you couldn’t have children, why did you marry?’
Her expression changed, a small frown furrowing her brow. ‘Jonas didn’t want children. He was a plastic surgeon I met at a paediatric conference on facial reconstruction. We hit it off, started dating and I was determined not to make the same mistakes I’d made with you. So I told him upfront that I was unable to have children and he was happy about it. He’d said he was focused on his career, that he had expensive tastes and that children didn’t fit into his life at all. We were … compatible, and so when he proposed I accepted.’ She looked down at her hands, clasped together in front of her, trying not to feel highly self-conscious at discussing her marriage with Will.
‘When my gynaecological surgeon contacted me about a new surgical technique of removing the endometrial cysts from my ovaries, I was interested. He said it would alleviate a lot of my pain.’
Will was surprised to hear her speak of pain. ‘Were you always in pain? I don’t remember you ever complaining of abdominal pain.’
Sheena laughed without humour. ‘When you’ve had the pain for most of your life, you learn to deal with it. Anyway, the surgery worked. The pain was dramatically reduced and then two months after the surgery, when I returned for an ultrasound, it was discovered I was pregnant. Naturally I was over the moon and I thought Jonas would be, too.’