As she walked to her office to read over the notes and reports from last night, sipping her coffee as she went, she told herself to be satisfied with everything she had. She was head of the NICU, a job she’d worked long and hard to achieve. The people she worked with on a daily basis were some of her closest and dearest friends. They’d supported her through her father’s cancer treatments, had been there for her when he’d decided he was through with fighting the debilitating disease and had passed away.
They were a family. Kaycee and Ray and Helena and Sheena. Arthur was over in the residential wing, always looking out for her, just as her father would. There was also the staff on the maternity ward and Charisma, the hospital director who was an advocate for the right person in the right job. Janessa may not have any blood relatives, she may be all alone in the world as far as biological family went, but here, at Adelaide Mercy, she had her
real
family and she didn’t need anything more … especially not romantic or sensual thoughts about Miles.
So the man had kissed her. It didn’t mean anything. He’d simply meant to kiss her cheek in a polite gesture of thanks for a nice evening. The fact that their lips had met meant nothing … nothing at all.
With her mind firmly back on track, she was able to focus on her work. She had a meeting about Sheena’s conjoined twins at nine-thirty, and headed to the maternity ward to say good morning to her friend just after nine. By this time the breakfasts would have been served, the ward rounds would have been done and Sheena would no doubt be ready for a soothing cup of herbal tea.
Janessa stopped off at the maternity kitchenette, made two cups and headed towards Sheena’s room, calling various hellos to the staff as she went. She was humming happily as she nudged the door open to Sheena’s room.
‘Hi. Sorry I’m a little later than usual, this morning,’ she said, her hands full with the two drinks. As she turned and looked towards her friend’s bed, she was startled to see Miles Trevellion sitting in a chair by Sheena’s bed.
‘Oh. Hi. Sorry. I thought you’d be free.’
‘Miles was humming that same song when he came in this morning,’ Sheena pointed out.
Janessa looked at Miles, feeling like a deer caught in the headlights. The fact that she was humming the same song as him meant he knew she’d heard him singing it in the shower earlier that morning and for a split second it was as though the two of them were transported to another world, away from the hospital room, away from Maternity—back to when they’d been having a conversation that morning, only plasterboard and paint between them. Intimate. Indulgent and completely insupportable. She simply had to stop her mind from contemplating her new colleague in such a fashion.
‘We both must have heard the same song on the radio,’ Miles eventually murmured, his lips curving into a small smile that told Janessa that he knew exactly where she’d heard that song this morning and it hadn’t been the radio.
Sheena held out her hands for the cup of tea. ‘Ah, thanks for the tea,’ she remarked, seemingly oblivious to the undercurrents passing between Janessa and Miles. ‘I’ve been waiting for an eternity. I was starting to become quite desperate for my morning Janessa cuppa-tea-time.’
Janessa smiled at her friend, blatantly doing her best to ignore the tall, dark and sexy man in the room. ‘I see the exaggeration hormones are working well this morning,’ Janessa remarked.
Sheena laughed, but sipped the tea as Janessa put her cup down on the bedside locker, knowing that if she didn’t she might drop it. She could feel Miles’s gaze on her, watching everything she did, taking in the camaraderie between the two women. It was quite astonishing that he had such an ability to unsettle her, especially as she hadn’t even known him for twenty-four hours.
Janessa pulled up a chair on the other side of the bed from him and looked at her friend. ‘Did you keep sleeping after we left?’
‘On and off, but no more waterworks, thank goodness,’ Sheena admitted with aplomb.
‘You told me you’d managed to sleep well,’ Miles immediately interjected with instant indignation.
Sheena sighed. ‘Yes, but I can lie to you. I can’t lie to Janessa. She knows me far too well for me to get away with it.’
Janessa picked up her tea and hid her smile at Miles’s reaction behind her cup. ‘But Sheenie, you shouldn’t lie to any of us,’ she said after a moment. ‘You don’t like it when your patients lie to you,’ she pointed out calmly.
‘My patients
can’t
lie to me. In fact, nine times out of ten they can’t even talk, given that they’re babies and young toddlers,’ Sheena felt compelled to point out, but looked from Janessa to Miles. ‘Oh, all right,’ she grumbled. ‘I won’t lie to Miles any more, and it wasn’t technically a lie, more like a nice exaggeration of the truth.’
‘Thank you.’ Miles nodded, seemingly satisfied, then turned to Janessa. ‘Would you like to examine Sheena?’
Janessa shook her head. ‘I’m sure between you and Riley, Sheena and the girls are well cared for. Besides, the nurses keep me up to date with anything out of the ordinary. We’ve got a good team here.’ She sipped at her tea. ‘I’m just here for a chat before our morning meeting.’
‘Yes, and it’s a meeting,’ Sheena remarked indignantly, ‘that I’m not allowed to attend, even though it’s about me and my girls.’
‘You’re not the doctor, remember. You
are
the important incubator.’ Janessa’s words were not unkind but spoken with utter respect. She held out her tea cup and the two women chinked their mugs together. ‘No one else can do your job.’
Sheena scoffed at that. ‘Ha! Job? I lie here and do absolutely diddly-squat.’
‘And that’s the most difficult job of all,’ Janessa agreed. ‘See? We keep the tough jobs for those who can handle them.’
‘Yes,’ Miles agreed. ‘It’s important for your blood pressure to remain constant and as such …’ he waggled a finger at her ‘… no cajoling the staff for information about patients.’
Sheena grimaced. ‘It wouldn’t work even if I wanted it to. Janessa’s put a gag order in place.’
‘A gag order?’ Miles looked from Janessa to Sheena.
‘I’m not allowed to know the ins and outs of what’s happening in the wards because if I knew I’d get all bothered and impatient and want to go and help.’
‘Really?’ His eyebrows were raised in surprise.
‘I know.’ Sheena rolled her eyes. ‘Can you believe it?’
Miles met Janessa’s brown gaze and smiled, nodding slowly. ‘An excellent idea, Janessa. Gag order. I’ve never heard it called that before. Well done.’
Janessa raised her eyebrows in surprise at the compliment. ‘Er … thank you?’
‘It’s good to see that you’re not only looking out for your friend in a personal capacity but in a way most doctors wouldn’t have even thought necessary.’ He stood from his chair and straightened his jacket, buttoning it up. ‘I give credit where credit is due.’
‘Nice to know,’ she murmured, only glancing once or twice in his direction. If she looked at him, really looked across and met the deep blue of his eyes, she wasn’t sure she’d have the strength to look away, especially given how gorgeous he looked in that suit.
There was a silence in the room for a second and an uncomfortable one at that, with the awareness she had of her new colleague. She sipped her tea, glad of something to do. As the room clock ticked on for another ten seconds, Miles eventually cleared his throat and addressed his comments to Sheena.
‘I’ll come by later and check on you again. Better go get ready for that meeting.’
‘OK. Thanks for visiting,’ Sheena replied as he headed around the bed and walked towards the door.
‘Janessa, I’ll see you at the meeting,’ he remarked.
‘Yes. See you there,’ she sort of threw over her shoulder, looking vaguely in his direction. When he was gone, Janessa visibly relaxed in her chair, closing her eyes for a moment, only to encounter Sheena’s interested stare when she finally looked at her friend.
‘What was
that
all about?’ Sheena asked with astonishment.
‘What?’
‘You and Miles. Honestly, you could cut the air with a scalpel the tension between the two of you is so palpable.’
‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’ Janessa feigned innocence and continued drinking her tea.
‘Oh, seriously? There were sparks flying between the two of you from the instant you entered this room.’
‘Sparks?’
‘Janessa. He’s not like Bradley. Miles has been through things and, unlike Bradley, he’ll stick around. I know you were devastated that Bradley wasn’t there for you, to be with you as you both grieved for Connor’s loss, but not all men are like that.’
‘All men? Meaning Miles?’
‘He’s a great guy, Nessa. Strong and dependable. You two are good together.’
‘Together? No. We’re not together.’ At her words, Sheena gave her a disbelieving look. ‘You think there’s something going on between Miles and myself, don’t you?’
‘Is there?’
‘Yes.’
At this word, Sheena sucked in a breath and clenched her hands at her chest, excitement in her eyes.
‘It’s you.
You
are why we’re here, why our worlds have connected. We are both here, working together because of your girls. They deserve the best care in the world and that, if I may be so bold, is Miles and myself. So technically, Sheenie, it’s all
you.
There are no sparks, no tension. Just real honest concern for you and your girls.’
‘Now you’ve made me disappointed.’ Sheena dropped her hands back to her rub her belly. ‘Hear that, girls? Aunty Janessa is trying to fool herself into thinking that she’s not attracted to Uncle Miles.’
‘Uncle
Miles? When did he get promoted to uncle status?’ Janessa wanted to know, feeling mildly indignant that he should get the same level of honorary title as herself, and yet Sheena didn’t know him nearly as well. She finished her drink and stood, hoping that leading Sheena down this track might also prompt a change in topic. The awareness she had for Miles was definitely there but that didn’t mean she had to do something about it, neither did she want to discuss it.
‘Hush. I can say what I like and assign titles to whomever I choose because I am the incubator and I have spoken.’
Janessa shrugged her shoulders as though she didn’t have a leg to stand on with an answer like that. ‘You are absolutely right. Anyway …’ she collected Sheena’s cup ‘… I have to go. I don’t want to be late for the meeting.’
‘You’ll come by later and give me an update?’
‘On most things, yes.’
‘Good.’ Sheena lay back and closed her eyes, getting ready to settle down for a nap. ‘Nessa,’ she said softly as Janessa headed to the door, ‘don’t push him away. He’s not Bradley.’ The words were spoken quietly and with complete seriousness.
‘Understood,’ Janessa replied, realising she hadn’t fooled Sheena one bit with her attempt at changing the subject. Her friend knew her far too well. ‘Thanks, Sheenie.’
Sheena yawned. ‘That’s what friends are for.’
As Janessa returned to her office and gathered the papers she would need for the meeting—the first of many on the conjoined twins—she pondered Sheena’s words. Was she resisting the attraction she felt for Miles simply because of the way Bradley had pulverised her heart? Was she too afraid to even take a tiny step outside her very comfortable comfort zone in case she once more ended up in tiny pieces? Was she that much of a coward that she would deny herself happiness simply because she’d been burnt so badly in her past?
Possibly.
T
HREE
days later, after several meetings with key personnel as well as the hospital administrator, Miles arranged another one-on-one meeting with Janessa in her office. He had initially suggested that they meet in his apartment to discuss the upcoming operations the twins would require over a soothing cup of herbal tea, but even the thought of being alone with him, in his apartment, made her entire body quiver with nervous apprehension. Her office was definitely safer.
Ever since the kiss, Janessa had been overcome by masses of tingles every time she’d seen him. She’d constantly thought about him on the other side of her apartment wall, her curiosity about him increasing, and although she wanted to keep him at arm’s length, she also wanted to know as much about him as possible.
Every look he gave her seemed to linger just a fraction of a second longer than normal. If he accidentally touched her hand or brushed past her during the normal course of any day in the NICU, she wasn’t able to hide her quick intake of breath as her body suffused with heat.
‘As you know, in order to separate the girls, they’ll need extra skin to cover the actual incision site. Therefore, one of the first procedures we’ll be performing once they’re stable and healthy is to insert tissue expanders beneath the skin in order to grow extra skin in that area.’ Miles lounged in the chair, relaxed and completely comfortable in her presence. Janessa had to admit that whilst he had the ability to set her body on fire with just one look, she, too, liked spending time with him in this way.
Under the guise of work, even though it was necessary work, for her to know exactly what procedures and steps would be taken with regard to separating the twins, she liked that she was able to spend time with him … like this. alone. He never talked down to her, always explained things thoroughly and answered any and all questions she had. Sometimes she thought she asked too many questions but he never became impatient, insisting that he would rather answer her questions a hundred times over so she knew what to expect than risk making mistakes.
He was thoughtful, too, and always the gentleman. Tonight he’d arrived in her office with a bag full of takeaway Chinese food. ‘Thought we might get hungry,’ he’d stated as a means of explanation when she’d raised her eyebrows at the gesture. And so there they sat, papers and documents spread out before them on her desk, the scent of Chinese food filling the air as they ate and discussed the various aspects of the different surgical procedures.
‘I have to confess, I have very limited experience when it comes to tissue expanders. It’s just something I haven’t come across that often. I have, however, read every paper you’ve written on this subject and the techniques you’ve used during the surgical procedures,’ Janessa remarked quite enthusiastically, and was rewarded one of Miles’s heart-melting smiles. Tingles flooded her body as she smiled shyly back at him. She still felt strange admitting she was such a big fan of his work.
Apart from that very first day in her NICU, when he’d been jet-lagged and completely exhausted, he’d been relaxed and friendly, as well as being totally in control of the specialised neonate team they were pulling together to care for the girls post-delivery. No one in either the NICU or Maternity had a bad word to say against him and half the women would swoon every time he came near. Janessa, however, hoped she wasn’t as obvious whenever she was near him.
‘Have you ever seen the operation performed?’ He used the chopsticks with ease as he lifted another mouthful of food to his lips.
Janessa sipped her green tea. ‘Many years ago, in a two-year-old. Never in a baby. I think it’s fascinating how the body can grow extra skin through this means.’
Miles nodded, impressed with the way she seemed eager to know everything about the twins’ upcoming surgeries. ‘It’s much the same as how the skin expands in a pregnant woman.’
‘Where do we order these special little bags?’ She looked at the picture on the information she’d been studying then back at Miles. ‘They’re made of silicone, right?’
‘That’s right. They have a tube attached to them. In some of the older children we might leave the edge of the tube showing outside, making it easier to fill, but for the twins it’s easier if the filling tube is just under the skin, thereby decreasing the risk of infection.’
‘Which is the last thing we want.’ She finished her noodles and used a napkin to wipe her face, before sipping the last of her green tea. Miles watched, delighted that she was the type of woman who didn’t worry about her figure but instead seemed to have a very healthy appetite. Even when they’d been at the Italian restaurant, Janessa had eaten each course with appreciation instead of nibbling on a salad. It wasn’t that she needed to watch her weight, far from it. She was perfectly proportioned … very perfectly.
He forced his thoughts back to the present, to the operation details they were discussing. ‘Exactly. The bags will be gradually inflated over a number of weeks.’
‘How long will the whole procedure take? I mean from the time the tissue expanders are inserted until there’s enough new tissue for them to be removed?’ She started to pack away her rubbish, tidying up, making things ordered and neat again.
‘Approximately two months. We want to grow this new tissue slowly and carefully. Then, after another small operation, the expanders are removed and
voilà
—new tissue.’ He, too, finished his food, and she held out her hand to take the empty container so she could dispose of it. ‘Thanks.’ He smiled as he wiped his face with a napkin.
Janessa smiled widely. ‘That’s what I love about medicine. The new breakthroughs in technology that make so much difference to the lives of our patients.’
Miles couldn’t help but smile at her words, at the excitement she seemed to exude in discussing these surgeries. ‘You really do love your job, don’t you,’ he stated.
Janessa met his gaze, feeling a little self-conscious. ‘Of course. Don’t you?’
‘Most days.’ He paused and sipped his green tea thoughtfully, watching her closely. ‘Tell me, Janessa, have you ever thought of expanding your horizons?’ At her blank look, he continued. ‘You’re excited by surgery. Have you ever thought of doing more training?’
Janessa was stunned by this idea. ‘Uh … no. I’m more than happy where I am.’
‘Don’t get me wrong,’ he added quickly. ‘I think the work you do here is brilliant. You’re well respected, you’re highly skilled and Adelaide Mercy is lucky to have someone like you in charge of their NICU, but there’s still more you could learn.’ He leaned in a little closer, closing the distance between them, wanting to get his point cross. ‘I could teach you.’ His tone had dropped a level and the look in his eyes was more intimate than professional.
She was sure he could teach her, and not just about surgery! The way this man made her feel was something she’d never felt before. With Bradley, the love she had thought would last a lifetime had run its course in a matter of years, and even though he’d initially made her feel all special and nice, it was nothing compared to the far more adult feelings she was constantly experiencing with Miles. Just one smouldering, sexy look from his deep blue eyes and she was almost hyperventilating with repressed excitement.
She eased back in her chair, needing to put a bit more space between them. Breathing out slowly, determined to get herself back under some sort of control, Janessa nodded slowly. ‘Thank you for such a generous offer, Miles but … um … I’m fine here. Doing my job, working alongside my friends and, at present, caring for Sheena.’
Miles held her gaze for another split second and then eased away, watching her carefully. ‘Family is very important to you.’ It was a statement, not a question.
‘Very.’ She paused and then found herself saying, ‘Especially when you’re left all alone.’
‘Do you mean Sheena? I don’t mean to pry but where is the father of her twins?’
She hadn’t been referring to Sheena but she was more than relieved he hadn’t realised she’d been talking about herself. ‘Jonas? He’s long gone.’ Janessa rolled her eyes in disgust.
‘So he’s alive?’
‘Oh, yes. Alive and well and living with his new wife in Brazil or Mexico or some other sunny place where he can be selfish and demanding and ruin other people’s lives.’ Her eyes were dark, filled with intense dislike. Miles hadn’t thought it possible for her beautiful features to be marred with such emotions but it was quite clear in both her expression and the way she talked of the unknown Jonas that she didn’t like him one little bit.
‘But he knows she’s pregnant? He knows about the babies?’
‘Yes—yes, he does.’ Janessa sighed heavily, not really wanting to blurt out Sheena’s past to Miles but also knowing that anything she said to her friend’s doctor regarding the babies father would remain confidential.
‘Jonas high-tailed it out of Adelaide the instant Sheena told him she was pregnant or, more to the point, when Sheena was determined to see the pregnancy through.’
Miles raised his eyebrows, both perplexed and puzzled by this information. ‘He didn’t want to have children?’
‘Correct. It was part of the reason why they married in the first place. Sheena had been told years ago that she would never have children. Jonas didn’t want children, either. When Sheena discovered she’d actually been able to conceive, she was so happy, so ecstatic. It was like a miracle.’
‘She thought Jonas would feel the same way.’ Miles nodded.
‘He didn’t. Instead he took it as grounds to file for divorce. He told her that if she didn’t abort the pregnancy, then as far as he was concerned their marriage was over because he wasn’t throwing away any of his money or time or any part of
his
life on a bratty little kid. He left when six weeks later we discovered she was having twins. Another eight weeks down the line we discovered the twins were conjoined.’
‘You say “we”. Don’t you mean
she?’
Janessa smiled. ‘No. I mean
we.
As you’ve already come to realise, Sheena is well loved, respected and protected by the staff in this hospital. What she’s going through is huge and none of us are going to let her go through it alone. That’s what family is all about, hence the we.’
‘You don’t plan on having a family of your own one day?’
Janessa was momentarily stunned by his question and the image of Connor flashed before her eyes. Her Connor. Her baby boy. The child that never was. ‘I … don’t know.’
‘Surely you’ve thought about it? Marriage? Children? Quiet weekends? School runs? Real family time?’
‘Once, perhaps, but not any more.’
‘Once? Bad experience?’
‘You could say that.’
‘You were … married?’ he fished. He knew it was wrong to delve into her past but the more time he spent with her, the more curious he became. Why wasn’t a woman as incredible as Janessa involved with someone?
‘Briefly.’ She sighed and stood, turning her back to him. ‘It didn’t work out.’
‘Do you know why?’
She laughed with a hint of irony. ‘We were young. Too young. But we were so sure that we were really in love, that we were mature enough to understand the commitment we were making to each other, and when our parents realised we weren’t going to be talked out of it, we tied the knot.’
There was sadness in her eyes and a despondent tone in her voice.
‘How young?’
‘Eighteen.’
‘Both of you?’
‘Yes. I guess we thought it was the real thing but we were wrong.’ She shook her head and sighed. ‘When things became too intense, too scary, too grown-up, I think we both knew we’d been kidding ourselves. We separated when we were twenty and were divorced by the time we turned twenty-one.’
‘Hard lessons to learn. You’ve never thought about marrying again?’
She held his gaze. ‘No. After that it was far easier to remain married to my career.’
‘Which has obviously worked out well for you?’
‘Yes.’
‘Focusing on work can take your mind off a lot of things. Work is always there to see you through, no matter what disasters life throws at you.’
‘You sound as though you’re talking from experience.’ It was her turn to fish.
‘I was married.’ He spoke the words quietly, surprised to find that he wanted her to know about his past. The fact that he was becoming more and more interested in this woman with each passing hour he spent in her company, it seemed only right to tell her about Wendy.
‘Didn’t take?’ Janessa was secretly thrilled he was sharing this with her. Miles had such a knack for not making her feel as though she was the only one walking out onto a unsteady ledge all alone.
‘Quite the opposite.’
‘Oh.’ She was surprised by that statement. Was he hiding a wife somewhere? She’d always just assumed he wasn’t married. Sheena hadn’t said anything about him being married but, then, Sheena hadn’t stayed in contact with Miles during the past ten years since they’d worked together. Was Miles still married? It only confirmed how little she knew of him but before she could question him, he continued.
‘My wife, Wendy, and I worked together for years, just colleagues, just friends, and then things slowly started to change into something more. We’d been married for almost two years when she died.’ Miles stared off into the distance, remembering his past.
Janessa wasn’t quite sure what to say for a moment but she knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to go to him, to put her arms around him, to say she was sorry for the loss he had suffered and the heartbreak he must have felt. She stayed where she was, keeping her physical distance from him whilst emotionally she felt more connected to him than before. ‘You were lucky,’ she stated.
‘Yes.’ He nodded and slowly exhaled any tension he may have felt in sharing his past with Janessa. ‘Yes, I was.’
A more comfortable silence seemed to envelop them both, Janessa sighing as the tension and anxiety from her past slipped away. ‘My parents were lucky.’ She spoke the words softly, looking off into nothingness as she remembered. ‘Their marriage was real and strong and I guess Bradley and I thought we’d be the same. I thought that my marriage would be as happy and as honest and as open as that of my own parents.’