‘And the babies? They are fine? Growing big? I am sorry that I have not been in to see them more. Business has been busy.’
‘Don’t you worry about it. The girls are both growing big but visitors will be restricted for the next month or so.’ She glanced at Will, then back to the proprietor. ‘Their surgery will start soon.’ There was a hint of anxiety in her tone. Will was sure Giuseppe hadn’t picked up on it, but he could tell. It appeared that talking about the major surgical operation caused Sheena quite a bit of distress—and rightly so. The lives of her baby girls would be in jeopardy. While the assembled teams responsible for the surgery were all experts and were all doing every test possible to avoid complications, sometimes unforeseen problems arose.
‘In fact,’ she continued, ‘please allow me to introduce you to the leading orthopaedic surgeon on the case, Will Beckman.’
Will stood and held out his hand to the restaurateur.
‘Ah. Dr Will. I have heard Miles talk of you.’ Giuseppe disregarded Will’s proffered hand and instead grabbed him by the shoulders, leaning up to kiss him on both cheeks. ‘You are most welcome to my humble restaurant and, please, you must accept that you are my guests this late evening.’
When both of them started to protest, he held up his hands. ‘I insist. I will leave you now. You no doubt have much to discuss, but remember—when you are at that hospital and you are hungry, you call Giuseppe and I will prepare you fresh food and send it straight away.’
‘Thank you.’ Sheena leaned over and kissed his cheek. ‘You’re a good man.’
‘And we will have Ellie’s and Sarah’s first birthday party here,’ he declared. ‘It will be bigger and better than Miles’s and Janessa’s wedding reception.’ He placed a hand to the side of his mouth and said in a stage whisper, ‘But we won’t tell Miles and Janessa that.’ Letting out a large belly laugh, Giuseppe headed back towards the kitchen.
‘He’s jovial, isn’t he?’ Will stated rhetorically as they sat back down.
‘He is.’
‘So this is where Miles and Janessa had their reception. I was sorry I had to leave early.’
‘Everyone understood, Will. You had a sick patient to care for. Miles was thrilled you’d made it to the ceremony, so was Janessa, but this place looked like something out of a romantic fairy-tale. Giuseppe and his staff had hung twinkle lights around the room with big bouquets of flowers on each table. Crisp white tablecloths, white covers with big red bows on the chairs …’ She trailed off and slowly shook her head. ‘He really outdid himself.’ Sheena sighed, wistful and relaxed, even if it was for just a moment.
Will couldn’t help but watch her. Outwardly she’d changed but only slightly. Her hair was much shorter now than when they’d been together and where he’d loved her long hair, he couldn’t get over how perfect the short cut, as her hair bounced and curled slightly around her face, suited her. Dark hair, pale skin, blue eyes, pink lips. That was Sheena.
‘Giuseppe’s a good man,’ she continued as she took a sip of her water. ‘Genuine, too.’
‘That’s an odd comment to make.’
‘Not really. The hospital has been contacted by so many different firms. People who sell baby clothes, baby furniture, baby toys, all wanting me to use their products with the twins so they can give a “used by Adelaide’s own conjoined twins Ellie and Sarah Woodcombe” endorsement. It’s quite ridiculous.’
‘But I’ll bet you’ve stood your ground and didn’t endorse a single product, right?’
‘Right.’
‘And yet you’re more than happy for Giuseppe to organise, six months in advance, the girls’ first birthday party?’
‘If he wants to. As I’ve said, he’s genuine. He cares about what happens to my girls, and to me. It’s nice. He’s not in it for the publicity.’
Will finished his last mouthful and dabbed at his mouth with a napkin. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Definitely. I have to believe I’m still a good judge of character.’
Was she talking about him? Did she not trust her judgement where he was concerned? ‘You’ve had reason to question it?’
Sheena shrugged carelessly and pushed her plate away, her food only half-eaten. ‘My divorce was finalised three months ago, Will, so, yes, you could say that I’ve had reason to question it.’
‘Fair enough.’ The wistfulness had disappeared from her eyes and he could tell she was getting more and more tired with each passing moment. He wanted to see happiness light her features again, to listen to her talk with optimism and spirit. He offered her dessert or a coffee but she turned both down and suggested they call it a night.
They said goodbye to Giuseppe and thanked him for their meals, taking another ten minutes just to get out of the restaurant, but when they were in the taxi, heading back to the hospital, Sheena leaned her head back against the seat, her eyes closed.
‘Tell me more about Miles’s and Janessa’s reception,’ Will said softly.
‘Why?’
He shrugged. ‘I wasn’t there. You were.’
‘They have the whole thing on DVD.’
Will exhaled with resignation. ‘You know I hate sitting down and watching those things.’
She opened her eyes, giving him a small smile. ‘I remember.’
‘I’d much rather hear about it from you.’
‘OK, but you still might not be able to get out of sitting down and watching the whole two-hour DVD—with running commentary from both Miles and Janessa.’ She chuckled and when they arrived back at the hospital allowed him to hold the door for her. She was tired, and as they walked along she tripped, her feet tired and clumsy, but Will was there to steady her, leaving one arm about her waist afterwards.
She talked softly, telling him about the reception and how Miles hadn’t been able to keep his eyes or his hands off his bride. ‘I’ve never seen Janessa or Miles so happy, and even now, three months on, they’re both still ecstatic.’
‘Yes. It is nice.’
The entire time she talked and the entire time he listened, she was acutely aware of the way his arm hovered lightly at her waist, supporting her in her exhausted state in case she stumbled again. When she shivered due to the very early morning breeze, he quickly slipped off his suit jacket and placed it around her shoulders. She wished he hadn’t because then his scent only encompassed her even more.
She wasn’t even quite sure what she was saying any more, her mind sluggishly trying to recall events that had happened at her best friend’s wedding. All she was aware of was his nearness, his arm at her waist, his jacket around her shoulders. His scent, his touch, his heat. It flowed through her, bringing dormant parts of her that she’d buried way down deep pulsating back to life.
As they entered the residential wing, Sheena stopped walking and Will dropped his arm as she turned to face him. ‘Anyway, this is where I’m staying. It’s lodgers only past this point, I’m afraid. If you came in, you’d need to sign the register and give proof of identification, and it’s all too much rigmarole for this time of night.’
‘Early morning,’ he corrected, as she slid his suit jacket from her shoulders and handed it back with thanks.
She shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest, both as a means of guarding herself from him but also to help her keep warm after the loss of his jacket. ‘I guess I’ll see you in the morning.’
‘I guess you will.’
She paused. ‘Thanks again for dinner … and the chat. I hope I’ve been able to put your mind at rest, to give you the answers you were looking for.’
‘In a way, yes. I think I’ve realised tonight that ten years ago I didn’t know you as well as I thought I did. Perhaps, when you turned me down, you did do the right thing after all.’
‘Oh.’ Why was it that his words pierced her heart and made her feel bereft? Standing here, looking at him, and now being the mother of two gorgeous girls, she wished on all the wishes in the world that she could go back in time and
accept
his proposal. They would have been married, she would have had the surgery and she would have conceived
his
children, and they all would have lived happily ever after.
But that wasn’t the way things had turned out. To all intents and purposes they were strangers … strangers who shared a past.
O
N
F
RIDAY,
the tissue expanders were removed, Miles and Janessa more than happy with the way the girls were handling the preparation for their up-and-coming long surgical procedure. Today was Sunday and the girls had just returned from the radiology department, where they’d undergone yet another scan. Their surgery was scheduled for the following morning and tensions were high.
Sheena knew it was all necessary and that the more information the surgeons had before the big day the better, but each time the girls needed scans they had to be anaesthetised and Sarah always woke up grouchy.
Sarah shifted in the crib, accidentally kicking Ellie, and by the time the porters had wheeled the crib back onto the paediatric ward, both girls were crying.
‘Oh, I know. I know,’ she crooned to both of them, quickly settling the crib and touching both of their cheeks. She pressed kisses to Ellie’s forehead and then to Sarah’s, but both girls cried on, part sleepy, part annoyed and part hungry.
‘It’s all right. Mummy’s here. I’ll get your bottles.’ She pressed the buzzer on the wall, indicating she needed some help from one of the staff. The girls couldn’t be left alone while she went off to get bottles of her expressed milk, which were stored in a fridge in the staffroom, especially as they were still coming around from an anaesthetic.
Raquel-Maria stuck her head around the door. ‘Bottles?’
‘Yes, please.’ When she’d left, Sheena pressed a hand to her breasts, feeling the let-down pain of milk release, which often happened around the girls’ feed time. It would mean that she would soon need to express some more milk, and while she knew it was the best thing for her babies, to be drinking her milk complete with antibodies, she had to admit she often felt like a cow at milking time.
‘But you’re worth it,’ she crooned to the two of them, still kissing them and whispering to them in a quiet and controlled voice.
‘I hear it’s feeding time,’ a deep voice said from the doorway, and when Sheena looked up, she saw Will standing there, holding two ready-to-drink bottles of expressed milk.
‘Yes. What are you doing here?’
‘Checking on my patients. Raquel-Maria told me to bring these to you so I guess I’m also helping with the feeding.’
Sarah started to cry even harder and it didn’t matter whether Sheena liked having Will in the room to help out or not, the girls needed feeding.
‘Help me raise the crib so it’s at an angle—they feed better that way.’
Will nodded, put both bottles down on the table and helped Sheena to turn the handles located on either side of the crib, which then angled the entire mattress, making it easier to feed the girls.
Sheena had only seen him sporadically since their impromptu dinner the other night. She knew the theatre team, which included Will, had been meeting for hours on end to go over every aspect of the surgery. He’d been around several times to assess the girls but at no point had he referred to their conversation at dinner. She hoped that meant he’d received the answers he’d been looking for and that they could keep their relationship professional and focused on the girls. Sheena needed all her mental strength to cope with what was happening tomorrow.
‘You take Ellie. I’ll do Sarah. She’s already starting to work herself up and if she doesn’t feed properly, she’ll be sick.’
Will agreed and quickly tested both bottles by shaking a few drops from each onto his wrist, ensuring the milk was the correct temperature before handing one bottle to Sheena. She went round to the right side of the crib, bending over Sarah a bit more. ‘Shh, darling. Mummy’s here. Mummy’s here. It’s OK. Everything’s OK,’ she crooned softly, and ever so slightly Sarah’s cries started to subside.
Sheena bent her finger and put her knuckle near Sarah’s mouth to initiate the sucking reflex and the baby quietened a bit more. With a lightning-quick move, she swapped her knuckle for the teat of the bottle before Sarah could protest and, with Ellie already drinking the bottle Will was holding, the room was soon plunged into a welcome silence.
‘That’s better,’ she said with a sigh, trying her best to stop Sarah from guzzling the milk.
‘She certainly has a good set of lungs on her,’ Will murmured, a half-smile on his lips.
‘That’s for certain.’ They both fell silent, listening to the girls drinking from their bottles with little murmuring noises of satisfaction.
‘Are you looking forward to them starting solids?’
‘Most definitely, they’re growing so rapidly. While they were quite small when they were born, they weren’t as small as Janessa first feared, and both of them have fantastic appetites. A nice five and a half pounds for Sarah and five pounds for Ellie.’
‘That
is
quite good for twins. You said you were bedridden for the last few months of your pregnancy.’
‘It was safer for the girls. There was no way I was going to miscarry, and with being in hospital … well, I didn’t have anywhere to live anyway so it was best for all.’
‘Do you have somewhere to live now?’
‘Not anywhere outside the hospital. It seemed pointless to be paying rent or a mortgage when I’m spending all my time here. There are nights when I sleep in this room and other nights when I sleep in the residential wing. I’ve recently gone back to consulting a few half-days per week in the clinic and, quite frankly, finding somewhere to live isn’t a high priority at the moment.’ She stroked Sarah’s cheek, maternal love in her voice as she spoke. ‘The girls need me here.’
Will agreed with her sentiments but it seemed odd to him that she had no place she could call home. She was a strong woman. He’d always known that about her, but to see her like this, alone in the world, a single mother without the support of her parents, about to face an emotionally taxing forty-eight hours with her daughters’ impending surgery, only highlighted just how strong she was.
‘Everyone needs roots, Sheena.’
‘And that’s what I’m doing for my girls. They’re going to be in hospital for at least the next three months and then I’ll buy a house, put down roots and start my own happy home. I want to have that perfect, fairy-tale family life you often talked about. I want the laughter and silly little squabbles and the making up and the sorting out. I want Sarah and Ellie to have the type of home life I always dreamed of but never had.’
Will pondered her words for a moment, reflecting on the squabbles he’d had with his brothers and sisters—the loud family dinners, the strict rules and regulations his parents had enforced, all designed to love and protect their brood. It was what he’d wanted, that idyllic picture of family, and Sheena intended to paint her own version … without a father for her girls.
He knew she could do it. He knew she would struggle and be severely challenged along the way and the briefest part of him wanted to be around to help and to advise and be challenged alongside her … but he knew that was impossible.
While Ellie and Sarah were indeed gorgeous girls, they weren’t his. He hadn’t come to Australia to play father figure to another man’s children. He’d come as a surgeon, one responsible for leading the team of highly skilled orthopods in the separation procedure of the twins. He looked down at Ellie, who had almost finished her bottle, her face relaxed in contented pleasure, her stomach full, completely unaware of what awaited her.
The next day might well be the biggest day of her young life but she didn’t know it. She was small and helpless and trusting. What if, when she grew up, she trusted the wrong person? What if someone teased her or bullied her at school? What if she fell in love with a boy who didn’t love her back?
Will swallowed over the instant need to protect her—not only Ellie but Sarah as well. These girls had no father figure in their life, not even a grandfather who could step in and provide guidance.
But these weren’t his children. He had to keep reminding himself of that.
Will removed the bottle when Ellie finished feeding, looking over at Sarah who had also finished. She lay there, wriggling her feet and hands a little, her big blue eyes wide open, eyes that were exactly the same shade as her mother’s. He couldn’t believe how much the girls looked like Sheena. Even though they were only six months old, they were both incredibly beautiful—as was their mother.
Sheena looked at him and held his gaze, neither of them speaking but both saying a lot with their eyes. Will could see a mixture of confusion and despair behind her brave front. When she bit her lip, he knew she was nervous and worried about something. Well, of course she would be. The next forty-eight hours were going to be some of the most intensely emotional hours she had faced. He wanted to go to her, to hold her, to reassure her, to tell her that everything would be all right, that he and the team of doctors had successfully separated other sets of conjoined twins who had been even more intricately connected than Ellie and Sarah, but he didn’t.
Sheena looked away, moving to stand in front of the girls, rubbing and gently patting their chests. Ellie stayed asleep and Sarah started to relax even more, her eyelids starting to flutter closed, getting heavier by the moment.
Sheena started to hum a soft lullaby, the sweet melody filling the small private room. Sarah instantly responded to the sound and soon the twins had successfully slipped back into slumber.
Will allowed her song to wind its way around him. She had such a beautiful voice and the words of love contained in the lyrics were sung with such heartfelt intensity. He could recall his own mother singing to him as a child, the sounds strong and reassuring, and he’d been able to close his eyes and fall asleep secure in the knowledge that with his family around him he would always be safe.
Her voice broke as she finished the song, emotion rising to the fore. The room was plunged into silence as she pulled a blanket over the girls and tucked them in. Then she stepped back, shoved her hands into the pockets of her denim skirt and looked at Will.
‘Thanks for your help.’ Her tone was thick, and Will could see her anxiety and concern for her girls was increasing.
‘You’re welcome.’ He shoved his hands deep into his pockets, too. They both stood there, looking at each other, remembering what had attracted them to each other in the first place all those years ago as well as fighting the present attraction, which seemed to weigh heavily about them. ‘I’d forgotten just how lovely your voice was.’
Sheena smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes. Her lower lip began to wobble. ‘It’s nice of you to say so.’ She clenched her jaw and blinked a few times, trying to hold on to her emotions. Why wasn’t he leaving? Why was he just standing there? She was almost at breaking point and a few of the looks he’d given her already had let her know that he had no intention of picking up where they’d left off.
Her breathing rate started to increase and the tears came into her eyes, refusing to be blinked away. ‘I don’t want to hold you up. You probably have a lot of things to do and organise.’ She wiped a hand impatiently across her eyes, sniffing and swallowing over the large lump in her throat. Her chin wobbled again.
‘Sheena—’ he began, clearly seeing her distress.
‘Just … go. Please?’
‘You’re worried about the girls. That much is evident.’ He felt so helpless, standing there with his hands in his pockets. What he wanted desperately was to go to her, to put his arms around her, to comfort her, to help her, as he had so often in the past.
‘Of course I’m worried about them. I know you say that everything is going to be all right but—’ She broke off, the tears and emotions overcoming her. ‘They’re my babies.
Mine.’
She looked at him then, tears streaming down her cheeks, lips pursed together between the gasps of air she was dragging into her lungs. ‘I never thought I’d ever have children and now that I do, I want to protect them and keep them safe and do everything I can for them and give them the chance of a normal life and …’ She let the sentence drift off, hiccuping a little. ‘I love them so much, Will,’ she said through her tears, ‘and if they … if something goes—’ She broke off, shaking her head, then whispered between her sobs, ‘I’m terrified.’
‘Oh, Sheenie,’ he ground out, and within the next instant he’d covered the distance that separated them and hauled her into his protective arms.
How on earth was he supposed to resist this woman when she needed him most? He stood firm and held her in his arms, bringing her as close to his body as he dared. Memories flooded through his mind as he breathed in her scents, allowing the essence of Sheena to wash over him. Will closed his eyes, resting his chin lightly on her head as she buried her face into his shirt and continued to cry.
It would be far too easy to slip back into old habits, of thinking about her in a romantic light. That wasn’t why he was here and he had to find the strength to at least keep himself one step removed from her … but it was extremely difficult when she was this upset. He tightened his hold on her.
As her sobs began to subside, her breathing became deeper and she settled against his chest, her hands tucked beneath her chin. She wasn’t exactly sure how long they stood there but even as the hiccuping became less, Will made no move to pull away. Sheena kept her eyes closed, breathing in the fresh earthy scent that always drove her to distraction.
Feeling his arms about her, being so close to his firm, muscled body, listening to his heart beat beneath his chest … these were the little things in life she’d thought she’d never get the chance to experience again. When she’d rejected his proposal, it had broken her heart. The look of surprise, of disbelief, of complete anguish that had been present in his features, his blue eyes changing from sincere to stormy, had been a sight burned into her memory.
Never again had she thought she’d be enfolded in his arms, drawing comfort from him, but here she was, feeling safe and secure and protected. Her breathing was almost back to normal now and still he made no move to pull away.
Was it the past that was making him stay where he was? Or was it possible that Will had really forgiven her for refusing his proposal and was ready to move on with their friendship? The fact that the underlying attraction between them had never died was clearly evident but she had no idea what it might mean.