Will leaned forward and placed a finger across her lips to stop her talking. He
had
thought of kissing her to shut her up. It was what he would have done in years gone by and although they’d just shared a few kisses, he had no idea what any of it meant. Had she simply been grateful for what he’d done for her girls? Had she been overcome with relief? Had she used her situation as an excuse to be close to him and, if so, why? What did she want from him? Right now, though, he could see she was confused and anxious about her girls, about her life, her future. Calming her down was the first step to figuring out what was really going on.
‘What if you’re fine? You, the girls—all fine. This is the next stage, Sheena. The next chapter.’ His tone was calm but firm and he held her gaze, watching as her panic slowly subsided as his words wound themselves around her. ‘You’ve been in survival mode since the girls were born, probably even before that with your husband leaving you in the lurch.’ The protective urge he felt towards Sheena came to the fore again and he had to quickly hold it at bay.
‘Everything over the past six months has been building towards this day, this hour, this second. That’s quite intense. All of your energies have been focused on coping with feeding, bathing, changing and sleeping. They’re your girls, Sheena. The babies you thought you’d never have, and for the first time in their lives your girls are currently in separate cribs.
Separate!
That’s huge.’ He placed his hands on her shoulders and looked down into her eyes, intent on helping her through this.
‘It’s only natural to have questions, to be worried and concerned, but you can’t let that scare you. You’re stronger than that. Let’s go and see them. Soon you’ll be able to hold them. You’ll be able to smother them with kisses, to bath them, to dress them in clothes that don’t need to be specially made. You’ve given them the chance to lead normal, healthy lives and that’s the one thing every mother wants for her children. You’ll be able to cuddle them, one at a time. Or you could have Ellie in one arm and Sarah in the other. And if that gets too much or your arms get too sore, call me. I’m eager to have a cuddle with each of those gorgeous girls. You hold one. I’ll hold the other.’
Sheena couldn’t help but smile at his words. She sighed, feeling calmer, more in control, better able to cope, and it was all thanks to Will. Not only had he assisted with the intense surgical procedure which had separated her girls, he’d put her mind to rest against the fear and trepidation that had been slowly building throughout the past six months and had only just hit her—square in the face—throughout this day.
‘It’s just like you to know exactly what to say to make me feel better. Thank you, Will.’ His words had given her courage and hope. ‘I know it’s not going to be easy. I know I’m going to need support and help, and as I’m not very good at asking for either, I guess I’ll have to learn.’
Will agreed and dropped his hands back to his sides, pleased he’d been able to help out. He’d also been serious when he’d suggested she call him if she needed help. ‘Just take things one step at a time. For now you’re surrounded by people who care for you, Sheena. Once you leave the hospital, don’t forget there are a lot of community support services as well. You won’t be on your own.’
Excitement started to replace fear and she couldn’t contain it as her eyes flashed with delight. ‘I
do
want to see them.’ Love filled her heart. ‘I’m
desperate
to see them, and you’re so right, Will. This is the next chapter of my life. It’s not going to be an easy road but I’ll do it. I have to face my fears sometime, right?’
‘That’s the Sheena I know.’ He winked at her as she once more started to walk, eager now to see her daughters. She was facing her fears with her head held high and he was incredibly proud of her for that … which only made her even more difficult to resist.
When he ushered her into Recovery she stood there, looking at her daughters, who were, for the very first time, sleeping in separate cribs. Janessa and Miles, along with several other specialists, were attending the babies, but when Sheena entered the room they stepped back, smiles on their tired faces as she walked slowly towards her girls.
‘Thank you,’ she murmured to the room in general, the words heartfelt and filled with sincerity, but her gaze was solely trained on her babies. She shook her head as though she couldn’t quite believe it. ‘They’re separated.’ The words were whispered, catching against the emotion choking her throat, but in the quiet of the room, everyone heard.
She reached out to Ellie, tenderly brushing her fingers across the baby’s face before leaning down and kissing her daughter. Then she turned and walked over to where the other crib was situated and did the same thing to Sarah, a gentle caress and then the kiss of a mother who loved her babies very much.
From his vantage point in the doorway, Will watched the entire scene and when he felt his own throat start to thicken, he looked around the room, watching as other people followed Sheena’s actions, all of them almost as happy as the mother herself that everything had gone according to plan, with no surprises during the surgery and no complications thus far.
Sheena reluctantly tore her gaze away from her beloved babies to look at everyone in the room—the nurses, the doctors, the surgeons, some, like Janessa, who were lifelong friends, and others, like Marta, who she’d only met the day before.
‘Thank you. Thank you all so much.’ She clutched her hands to her chest, her words sincere.
Then she looked over at Will and while the look of appreciation and thanks was still definitely in her eyes, they seemed to soften as they rested on him. ‘I still can’t believe this has really happened.’ She swallowed, her tongue flicking out to wet her dry lips, and Will felt a tightening in his gut. Her lips. Her gorgeous, succulent, perfectly plump lips. Lips that not ten minutes ago had been pressed to his.
‘It’s good to see,’ Miles remarked, coming to stand beside Will as Sheena fussed over her two girls. ‘A mother who is so in love with her daughters.’
‘It’s very good.’ Will continued to watch Sheena’s every move, as though unable to look away from the mesmerising sight. She was so at home with her girls and even though she’d confessed her doubts, he knew they were all for naught. Anyone seeing her with Sarah and Ellie would think the same.
‘It’s not going to be easy—the road ahead. She’s going to need a lot of help,’ Miles remarked.
‘Agreed, but she’s a natural mother with a healthy dose of common sense. She’ll be terrific,’ Will added.
‘Especially if she has help. From people she trusts. People she’s known for a long time,’ Miles said. ‘People like Janessa and myself … and you.’
‘What are you trying to imply, Miles?’ Will asked, tearing his gaze away from Sheena to look at his friend with a hint of impatience.
‘You’re someone she trusts, Will.’
‘And?’
‘And you’re due to return to Philly in about five weeks’ time.’
‘Yeah. So?’
‘So … what happens after that? What do you really have waiting for you back in the States? Beatrice didn’t exactly take your broken engagement quietly and as she’s now a permanent hospital lawyer, it can’t make life all that enjoyable for you.’
‘What are you getting at, Miles?’
‘Why don’t you return to South Australia? Your parents are here. Some of your siblings are here.’ He paused and said more quietly, ‘The people you really care about are all here. So what’s keeping you in the States? Think about it.’ Miles slapped his friend on the back before returning to his duties.
Will pondered his friend’s words. He couldn’t deny he’d given some thought to how his life might change if he moved back to Australia permanently. Sorting out his past with Sheena had helped free up a lot of mind space. It had also made him realise why things had felt wrong with Beatrice. He knew he could have cut back his hours at the hospital when Beatrice had asked him to, if he’d really wanted to, but he could now admit that that hadn’t been what he’d wanted.
If he came back to Australia he would definitely cut back on the hours he worked, especially if it meant he could spend more time with Sheena and the twins. It was no secret that those little girls had stolen his heart and he knew he’d do anything for them.
He’d been planning a life with Beatrice and he knew that had they had children, he would have been a hands-on father. Still, he wouldn’t have made the work sacrifice
just
for Beatrice. He thought about Sheena, about if they were together and if
she
had been the one to ask him to cut back his hours. Would he have done it?
He frowned a little as he realised the answer. It was yes.
T
WENTY-FOUR
hours later, Will went to see how Sheena and the girls were coping. The twins had been in induced comas in order to help them heal and recover. He knew the head anaesthetist, Paul, had been around to review them, and from what Will had just read in Ellie’s chart, it looked as though she was doing a little better than Sarah.
He’d only left the hospital once, to return to his parents’ house where he was staying, for a quick shower and change of clothes, before coming back to monitor his small patients. He knew he should try to get more sleep but the simple fact of the matter was that he was worried about not only Ellie and Sarah but Sheena as well.
She was sitting in a comfortable chair opposite where her daughters slept, their individual cribs pushed as close as possible. Will stood there, watching her sleep, unable to believe how peaceful she looked. She deserved some peace, some support, some help. He knew she was overwhelmed by the huge job before her but he knew of old that she had so much inner strength she’d do fine … but she’d still be alone.
‘Hey,’ Miles said softly behind him, and Will turned, unaware his friend had even come into the room. ‘How are the girls?’
‘Vitals are all good. Sarah’s running a bit of a temperature, but it’s being closely monitored.’ Will angled his head towards the door and both men exited, eager to allow Sheena to sleep for as long as possible. ‘Sheena’s exhausted,’ Will told his friend as they headed towards Miles’s small office situated off to the side of the paediatric ward.
‘How do you think she’s really doing?’ Miles asked as the two men sat down.
Will thought carefully before answering. ‘She’s had a lot to cope with but I think sleeping will help her the most at the moment, allow her body and mind to relax.’
‘And how are
you
doing?’
‘Me?’ Will gave his friend a quizzical glance. ‘I’m fine. The operation was a complete success so it looks as though those two little girls can live out very normal, very healthy lives with their mother.’
‘I was referring to you seeing Sheena again. It appears you’ve both managed to work through whatever happened all those years ago.’
‘Yes.’ Will stood and shoved his hands into his trouser pockets. ‘It’s all behind us.’
‘And you don’t think there’s any way the two of you can … reconcile?’
‘Trying to play matchmaker, Miles?’
‘You and Sheena were good together all those years ago. I remember. Now when I see you two together again it just seems … oh, I don’t know … right somehow. Janessa and I think the four of you would make a great family.’
‘No.’ Will immediately shook his head. ‘While there might still be some remnant of attraction between Sheena and myself, it doesn’t mean there’s a future as a family.’
‘But you want a family. You’ve always wanted a family.’
‘But this family doesn’t belong to me. Those girls—’
‘Have no father.’
‘That doesn’t mean it’s up to me to fill the position.’ Will paced angrily around Miles’s office, back and forth in the small space. ‘I’ve always wanted
my
family. To father my own children. I don’t even know if Sheena can
have
more children.’
‘There’s a slim chance she can,’ Miles informed him. ‘Her gynaecologist is waiting until she’s finished breastfeeding the girls before he makes any decisions, but as far as I’ve been told, her endometriosis is still bad. It’s not as bad as it used to be but as far as I know, she may need to have further surgery, possibly an oophorectomy.’
Will was stunned. ‘Why didn’t anyone tell me? Why didn’t Sheena tell me?’
Miles shrugged. ‘She’s a strong woman, Will. She’s been used to coping with big decisions on her own for quite some time now and she’ll keep on coping. Unless she has someone she can lean on … now and then.’
Will frowned, pondering his friend’s words. If Sheena needed another operation, if she had an oophorectomy, then she would never be able to have any more children. Ellie and Sarah would be all she’d have and it made those little girls even more precious.
‘When did everything become so difficult?’ he remarked, shoving his fingers through his hair. ‘Ever since I was little, I just wanted to grow up, become a doctor, meet a nice woman, get married, have children and live happily ever after.’
‘I know what you mean. That’s how I always thought my life would pan out and I thought it had, before my first wife died.’ Miles nodded solemnly. ‘It’s not about where we think we’ll end up but how we get there. Janessa’s shown me that. She’s lost so much in her life and yet those losses have only made her stronger. Sheena’s the same. Nessa says that’s why the two of them are such close friends, because they’ve both been to that dark place where they have to endure a lot in order to fight their way out.’
Miles met Will’s gaze fair and square. ‘You deserve happiness, Will. So does Sheena. She’s a woman of substance and she’ll deal with whatever comes her way and she’ll do it on her own if she has to and I have no doubt that she’ll do a bang-up job, but wouldn’t it be great if she didn’t have to? Wouldn’t it be great if she had someone who loved those little girls as much as she did to help her raise them?’
‘The twins have a father. He should be here, raising them, supporting Sheena.’
‘But he isn’t. He’s a self-centred, egotistical pig who kicked his pregnant wife out of her home and then divorced her for breach of contract.’ Miles gritted his teeth. ‘Life isn’t fair and Sheena knows that.’
‘She really is going to keep soldiering on, isn’t she?’ Will stated rhetorically. ‘Whether I’m in her life or not, she’ll move forward, she’ll raise those girls on her own, even though she’s incredibly scared.’
Realising that Sheena would do what needed to be done, would continue, without any support if necessary, to raise her girls, had helped to dispel the picture of the perfect fairytale family he’d always carried within his heart.
Life wasn’t fair. Things hadn’t worked out between Sheena and himself all those years ago. Was it possible that he really was being given a second chance? Ellie and Sarah weren’t biologically his daughters but they still needed a father.
Will spun on his heel and headed out of Miles’s office, back towards the girls’ private room. He stopped outside the door and looked in through the small window at Sheena. Although there were blinds on the window, he could see between the slats. She still sat in the chair, laptop on her knee as she stared at something on the screen. Shifting slightly, Will could see she was studying the various radiographs of her daughters as though she still couldn’t believe they were now separated.
He could tell, just by looking at the slight slump of her shoulders and the way her head seemed too heavy to hold upright, that she was exhausted but he also knew her stubbornness of old. She wouldn’t sleep, at least not properly, until she was certain that both her girls were out of danger. Being a trained paediatrician, she knew that the first twenty-four hours were critical and that monitoring the babies was of utmost importance.
Walking quietly into the room, he glanced at Sheena and saw that although the laptop was on her lap, her eyes were closed. He headed over to the cribs and smiled down at Ellie, sleeping all on her own, with no Sarah to accidentally kick her awake. He was pleased Sheena had insisted the cribs be pushed as close together as possible as research had shown that once conjoined twins were separated, they could often suffer feelings of abandonment. After all, for their entire existence they’d always had someone else right there beside them. He brushed his finger across Ellie’s cheek and smiled. She was gorgeous, adorable and so like her mother.
He looked at the machines that were giving readouts of oxygen saturations, EEG and fluid intake and output. He unhooked his stethoscope and placed it over Ellie’s chest, listening to her heart rate, confirming it against the EEG. Pleased with her progress, he shuffled around to check on Sarah, frowning a little at the differing readouts. The fluid intake and output wasn’t as steady as Ellie’s and Sarah’s heart was beating at a slightly higher rate. He checked it with his stethoscope, confirming the readings from the machine, and ensured the oxygen non-rebreather mask, which was over her mouth and nose, was securely in place.
‘How’s she doing?’
Will quickly turned to look at Sheena, sitting in the chair, unsure, in the dim light, whether her eyes were open or closed.
‘She’s stabilising so that’s good.’
‘I didn’t hear you come in.’
A small smile tugged at his lips. ‘Good, because I was trying not to wake you. Have you managed to get much sleep?’
‘No, but, then, I’m used to it,’ she said on a sigh. Shifting slowly, as though her muscles were a little stiff, she placed the laptop on the table beside her and stood. She wiggled her shoulders and turned her head from side to side before putting her arms up above her head and stretching. ‘I was just thinking earlier that I should set up the small camp bed and lie down properly, rather than dozing on and off in the chair.’ She smothered a yawn. ‘I think the dozing makes me more tired.’
‘I think the lack of sleep and high stress levels are what’s causing your exhaustion,’ he returned, but Sheena could hear the caring note in his words. Will still cared for her and where she’d initially thought it was only because she was the mother of his patients, after the kiss they’d shared in the small chapel, she was desperate to believe it was due to their shared past.
‘You have a point. What about you? Have you managed some sleep? That was one gruelling operation you all performed yesterday.’
‘I’ve grabbed a few hours here and there. During the surgery we were working in teams with planned breaks so none of us became exhausted.’
‘And I appreciate that. Honestly, Will, saying just a simple “Thank you” to everyone feels so … inadequate.’ She walked over to Ellie’s crib and looked down at her little girl. ‘My babies are no longer conjoined and while I understand the medical side of the surgery and appreciate everyone’s skill, the fact of the matter is that my daughters are now able to grow up and lead a more normal life. That’s huge.’
Will hooked his stethoscope back around his neck and shifted to stand at the base of both cribs. ‘It’s what every mother wants for their children. A normal, happy life.’
‘Yes.’ She rested a hand on Ellie’s head, her thumb moving back and forth, caressing her child, who was sleeping peacefully. ‘I know there are still long days ahead, especially with Sarah.’ She swallowed painfully. ‘You know, I never thought I’d be one of those mothers who panicked and fretted over their children. I’m a trained paediatrician. I’ve seen so many different things happen to children and I have the knowledge and medical expertise to be able to help others. Now, though, I look at these two and realise that I could hold every medical degree in the world and still not have a clue what to do if both of them are screaming and crying at the same time.’ She forced a laugh but he could hear fear and uncertainty in her words.
‘You’re borrowing trouble, Sheena. It’s probably one of your biggest weaknesses. You over-think and then you panic and, while you’re internally strong and can accomplish anything you put your mind to, you have to let go of all the questions that surround your future. Believe me when I say that you’re going to be fine.’
‘Do you really think so?’
Will crossed to her side and looked down into her face. ‘I know so, Sheena. You’re … amazing!’
Sheena’s heart started to beat wildly against her chest at his words. ‘Really?’
‘I would never lie to you.’
Sheena wasn’t sure what to think, what to say. He was standing close, so close she could breathe him in, the kisses they’d shared in the chapel coming instantly to mind. Her gaze momentarily dipped to his lips and she was about to ask him about the kisses they’d shared when a small cry, more like a hiccup, came from Ellie. Sheena immediately returned her attention to her daughter. And there in her crib, amongst all the tubes and monitoring paraphernalia, Ellie opened her eyes for the first time since surgery, and looked at her mother.
‘Oh. Oh, Will. Look. She’s awake!’
Will looked down at beautiful little Ellie, and the baby gave them a sleepy smile.
Love, pure and simple, flowed through Sheena as she bent and kissed her daughter. ‘Oh, it’s so magnificent, so perfect. Oh, Ellie, honey. Mummy was so worried about you.’
‘Yes,’ Will agreed, unable, in his elation at seeing Ellie awake, to resist dropping his arm around Sheena’s shoulders. ‘I think you’re going to do much better than
fine’
‘I need to hold her, Will. I need to hold her.’
‘Let’s make that happen,’ he said, and together they wheeled all the machines that were attached to Ellie over towards the comfortable chair and within a few minutes Will had lifted Ellie from the crib and placed her, for the first time, in her mother’s arms.
‘Oh, my sweet Ellie. My gorgeous girl.’ Sheena held her close and Will couldn’t help but kneel down beside the chair, slipping his arm back around Sheena’s shoulders, elated when she leaned over and put her head on his shoulder, the two of them staring down at the still sleepy baby.
‘This is one of the most precious moments of my life,’ Sheena whispered. She lifted her head and turned to look at Will. ‘I’m so happy you were here to share it with me.’
Will nodded. ‘I’m honoured.’ And it was the most natural thing in the world to lean closer and press a kiss to her lips.
It was another twenty-four hours before Sarah decided to settle down, to stop scaring her mother by indulging in high temperatures, and opened her eyes.
Sheena’s heart instantly lifted when she saw her daughter’s wide blue eyes looking up at her from the crib. ‘You’re all right. My beautiful Sarah.’ Sheena kissed her daughter who, now that she was awake, was already making herself known.
‘She’s going to give you lots of grey hairs when she’s older,’ Janessa remarked. Her friend was seated in the comfortable chair, giving Ellie a bottle.
‘With the way she peaked a high temperature, I’d say she’s already started,’ Sheena countered, desperate to pick Sarah up but knowing it was difficult with the tubes and drains still attached to the baby. She pressed the buzzer, letting the staff at the nurses’ desk know she needed some help, but as Sarah was starting to work herself up into a real frenzy, Sheena bent over the crib and brushed kisses onto Sarah’s cheek. The baby girl tried to hold out her arms to her mother but couldn’t because of the drips, which only caused her crying volume to increase.