Weirder Than Weird (9 page)

   
“After an encounter between two especially nasty combatants, one lay splayed upon the ground with a pick axe wound to his neck. Horrible screams reverberated throughout the cavern as the little creature spat up endless clots of blood. His opponent calmly brought over a tankard of beer, knelt down and pulled out a small leather pouch from one of his pockets, he then added a pinch of its contents to the drink and gave it to the one on the ground. A miraculous thing happened: a green glow flickered in the eyes of the wounded one and within a few moments he sprang to his feet with great glee as if nothing ever happened. They both laughed uncontrollably and walked off together. This was astonishing to witness, but as the day’s went by, every now and then I noticed  these little folk sprinkle a bit of this magic dust into their drinks. I was certain now that it was what gave them their amazing strength and recuperative powers. As it happened, I would soon discover the source of this magic.

   
“ On this particular day, my routine of mining the yellow material was broken when I was ordered to follow a very stout and cruel little fellow to a chamber that I have never been to before. On our way there, we passed over a small foot bridge of stone. As I made my way across, a horrible odor assaulted my senses. I looked down to discover its cause and gagged violently. There, not ten feet below me, lay a pit with the remnants of what were once human beings! Piles of bones mixed with bodies in various states of decomposition. A more gruesome spectacle I could not imagine. ‘
I must be in Hell
!’ I thought to myself. Now I was certain of Mr. Feldspar’s fate; he must be somewhere below intermixed with the bones of the other poor creatures that came before him and labored until death mercifully took them.

   
“My cruel companion looked over the side and sneered, ‘Lazy buzzards every one of them!’ He kicked me in the thigh, forcing me forward. As I walked along, I felt that it was just a matter of time before I would join that macabre mix.

   
“Arriving at our destination, I found myself in an enormous vaulted room with spiraled and knotted columns of rock connecting floor to ceiling. As I looked up, I saw a large opening in one area of the ceiling and on the ground directly below was a pile of boulder type rocks strangely speckled with tiny luminescent green dots. The stench they emitted was sickening. The little demon thrust a fist to my abdomen that immediately bent me over with pain.

   
‘Now that I got your attention…this will be your new home for a while until Krog gets back from his journeys.’ An evil smile crossed his face. “You’ve already made acquaintance with Bezor the Provider. Her offerings have sustained us for hundreds of years. The work performed in this chamber is vital and must be done right or I’ll see to it that you end up back at the pit with the other rejects!

   
“What appeared at first as rock was none other than excrement from the worm like creature, Bezor the Provider, as they called it, was in essence their god. They religiously fed it daily and in turn it provided the much-needed substance for their magical elixirs. I was instructed on how to extract the tiny green flecks of material which involved pulverizing the hardened excrement into powder with a large mallet. Once done, I would drop handfuls of powder into a sluice type contraption. The sluice was continuously fed by a stream of water that trickled out of a crack in the wall and continued down into a deep recess somewhere below. The water carried away the detritus and left only the flakes of green, which I carefully hand-picked and placed upon a rock to dry. I could work all day and produce only what amounted to a few ounces. The work was exhausting and I continued to grow more weary but on the fourth day I made a discovery that raised my spirits tremendously.

   
“During my labor I became aware of a reduced water flow in the sluice and followed it back to the wall where the water originated. I surveyed the problem then proceeded to remove the loose rocks that had fallen from above and restricted the flow, but as I did this a large portion of the rock gave way with an enormous gush of water following behind. I was drenched but smiling for the first time in weeks. Looking up, I could see blue sky above me not more than twenty feet and my elation grew as I studied this potential escape route. ‘
It will be a tight fit,’
I said to myself, but my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of voices coming up the path. I hurriedly placed a few large rocks to cover the gaping hole, then resumed my work just as two of the drunken devils came stumbling in.

   
‘What’s this!’ one of them screamed, looking down at my meager pile of green dust. ‘You’ve been loafin all day?’

   
“With that, he forced a tiny boot into my side, leaving me gasping for air. As a result of his blow, he lost his balance and fell headlong into his drunken companion causing a fierce battle to ensue. They both ended up on the ground, cussing and biting, a whirl of arms flailing in all directions, viciously gouging at one another.

   
“In the course of their tussle, they worked their way back onto the footpath and this presented me with an opportunity. I ran to the wall and threw aside the rocks that I had placed earlier. The light struck my unconditioned eyes and I immediately glanced down. I spotted a small leather pouch that must have fallen from one of the little monsters. I shoved it into my pocket and started my way up the rock chute as quickly as I could. Only a few feet up, I could hear voices cursing me from below and felt a tiny hand grasping for my leg. I summoned all the strength I had and brought my foot down hard upon his face, sending him sprawling back to the rock floor.

   
“Almost at the top, I heard them both laughing hysterically and soon a voice said the words I will never forget…‘Make no mistake human, you are ours now, body and soul, we will bring you back home!’

   
Doctor Williamson leaned forward in his chair and sighed. “That’s it, Sheriff, that’s the tale told to me by Keith himself… though strange and implausible as it sounds.”

   
Sheriff Moran shook his head, hardly knowing how to respond to what he had just heard.

   
“As for what happened afterward, Keith found his way out of the woods and made his way to a payphone and after three days at the hospital, his trauma subsided enough to allow him to talk about what happened. He was particularly frightened by the idea that the little men were coming to get him. I assured him to the contrary and told him that he was safe in our care but he kept mumbling that it was just a matter of time. I had to order a sedative to calm him down and sent him back to his room. That was the last time I ever saw Keith Tuttle.

   
“The very next morning I happened to be walking to my office when I overheard a heated conversation in the hallway by two of our custodians.

   
“I inquired as to the problem. ‘Damn kids!’ barked one of them. ‘They must have broken in last night, Doc, the doors been jimmied and what a mess… just look at all those tiny footprints!’

   
I dropped my clipboard and ran to the nurses’ station. Keith was nowhere to be found.”

   
“Incredible, just incredible!” the Sheriff said as he ran his hand over his unshaven face. “You know, Doc, they’ll probably lock us both up if we start spreading a story like that!” His words were followed by a nervous laugh. “Well, I’ve taken up enough of your time… I still have a few questions for some of your staff.”

   
The Sheriff started to rise, but as he did, his hand knocked the tape recorder to the floor. He knelt down to retrieve it but was struggling to get back up.

   
“Here let me help you,” said the Doctor as he walked over and easily plucked the bulky Sheriff up in one easy motion. Both men stood facing each other for an awkward moment. The Sheriff was astounded by the Doctor’s strength and momentarily mesmerized by his penetrating green eyes.

   
“I… ah… I’d better be on my way Doc. I’ll call you if I hear anything.”

   
The Sheriff wasted no time in making a quick exit from the room.

   
Alone now, the Doctor walked over to the coffee maker, poured himself a cup and sat down at his desk. He pulled a small satchel from his desk drawer and sprinkled some of its contents into his cup.

   
An opened letter sat on his desk, in it is a recent Oncology report that reads “NEGATIVE” in bold letters with a Doctor’s side note… “We can no longer find any trace of your cancer. This is simply a miracle!”

   
The Doctor spun his chair around and gazed out the office window. He raised his cup in salute and smiled, “Here’s to you, my boy…wherever you may be!”

NIGHTMARE ON WALRUS ISLAND

    Some people will go to great lengths in an effort to escape a haunting memory. This was certainly the determination of Paul Westing, a young geologist with Omni Chemical from Great Britain.

   
A few months earlier, Paul could have never imagined himself in such a forsakenly cold and desolate place as Walrus Island. The island was literally a frozen chunk of earth and volcanic rock that rode the frigid waters of the Antarctic like a wandering iceberg and, for the next six months, this winter wasteland would be his new home.

   
Paul was somehow hoping that this unexpected sojourn would allow him to come to terms with a nightmare that had befallen him recently, one that had sent his world reeling and plunged him into an unimaginable despair. Well intentioned family and friends only served to reinforce the pain he felt, so when his company offered him an opportunity to take part in a working adventure at the bottom of the world, he jumped at the chance.

   
In spite of the vast distance from civilization, he would not be alone for there was said to be a small tribe of indigenous people residing somewhere within the vast and dark catacombs that riddled the island like a worm bored maze. This fact had been reported a year earlier by a captain whose ship was in desperate need of fuel and sought refuge there. Days soon turned into weeks and this indeterminate lingering made the islanders wary and eager to rid themselves of their uninvited guests.

   
On January fifth the captain reported in his ships log a most astounding and significant entry that would ultimately become their salvation and the sole reason behind Omni Chemical’s interest in the Island.

   
He wrote on that day, “Party of eight hunted seal ashore in the early morning hours. My first officer was approached by an elderly man clad entirely in Walrus skins who seemed to walk out of the frozen tundra from no place in particular. The old man attempted to communicate with the crew but was unsuccessful because of his strange dialect. After a few minutes of fruitless banter, the old man produced a pouch and emptied its contents in the snow, there were nine yellow rocks, each about half the size of a man’s fist. The old man then picked up one of the rocks and walked about twenty feet from where the rest of the party stood and placed it upon a large boulder. He pulled an unknown object from one of his pockets and struck it hard upon the rock. My first officer reported that an amazing flame of great size and intensity ignited itself, the heat of which was comparable, as some present would say, to that of a fully engulfed barn. The flame burned brightly and could be seen easily from the ship. It maintained its full intensity for a time no less than nine and one half days before it finally sputtered out. I personally made several landings to inspect this miraculous phenomenon and was ultimately convinced that the remaining rocks would be more than sufficient to power our vessel for the entire return trip back to Great Britain. Providence seems to be with us in this new and amazing discovery!”

   
Once the captain and crew had finally arrived back in home port, rumor spread of a new form of energy and Omni Chemical quickly asserted itself. The company proffered a large settlement to the captain and crew for the exclusive rights to the island’s location and also took possession of the remaining few rocks. Omni scientists were put to work attempting to discover its secrets but, in the meantime, the young geologist would be placed on the island to survey and record the exact locations of the rocks for future excavations.

(ON THE ISLAND, TWO MONTHS LATER)

    In stark contrast  to the eye bleaching snow that spread out in all directions, a small wooden

cabin now sits forlornly upon the frozen landscape, its smokestack emitting a wavy tail of heat that cuts through the wind chilled air like restless spirits departing for the skies. Inside the cramped building, the young geologist laid upon his bed with an open book by his side. It had been one week since he first set foot on the island and in that time he had already fulfilled his obligations to the company by locating a number of caves riddled with the yellow stone lodged within the porous volcanic rock. In fact, he could find no reason to return to the caves for his discoveries would be adequate enough to keep his company toiling away for many years to come.

    After a few days of being sequestered in the tiny shack, he already felt claustrophobia’s grip upon him and decided it wise to leave the cabin each day for a few hours of exercise. On this particular afternoon, after returning from his walk he noticed an odd set of tracks leading from his cabin into another direction. Upon reaching the cabin door, he saw two large fish lying in the snow, dressed and ready for cooking. He smiled at the gracious gesture of his island neighbors and thought that he would have to make it a point to visit them in the near future to return their generosity, perhaps bring them some of his canned food as a gift. The canned food had already become monotonous and the thought of having fresh fish for dinner was a most welcomed change. On closer inspection of the fish, he noticed that they had been seasoned in a strange way. Tiny yellow particles of some unknown substance were liberally sprinkled throughout the fillets. He attempted to rinse them away, only resulting in lodging the particles even more persistently into the flesh. His hunger, however, exhorted him on and he prepared them for his evening meal. The taste, although somewhat unusual, was excellent and he ate his fill.

   
That evening, he lay upon his bed, fully content and weary from his earlier walk. Sleep was about to take hold of him when suddenly he heard what sounded like a cry upon the wind. He raised himself up slowly and cocked his head to listen, and after a few moments the sound repeated itself. A faint and distant plea for help could be heard upon the relentless torrents that whipped their way past his cabin. He was about to dismiss the sound to illusion until he heard it once again, this time more distinct.

   
He jumped to his feet and threw open the door. His eyes searched the icy landscape, “Hello!” he shouted at the top of his lungs. “Is anyone there?” Only silence. He walked to the other side of the cabin and repeated his call but only heard the continual shriek of wind in reply. Deciding that he had been mistaken, he made his way back inside and within a few minutes was fast asleep.

   
After a short while, Paul’s body began to twitch in an agitated manner and his face became flush with perspiration. In his dream-filled mind, he was once again back with his new bride on that fateful day three months earlier. They were journeying back from their honeymoon in Paris when a small animal scurried across the road. Michelle screamed out a warning. Paul swerved to miss the creature, but the car suddenly went into a terrifying spin and violently flipped over, tossing him from the car while his bride remained firmly tethered inside by her seat belt. The car eventually landed right side up and burst into flames. As he lay on the pavement about to lose consciousness, Paul could hear the horrible screams that emanated from the twisted and burning hunk of metal. With much effort, he managed to look upon the wreck. His last recollection was one that would haunt him forever: his beautiful bride’s melting face pressed against the passenger window, hysterically and horrifically pleading for her husband to save her.

   
He awoke with a scream and pulled his sweat drenched body upright and out of bed with a jolt. At that moment, he heard a voice beckoning him from far away, sending an icy chill through him and causing his heart to race uncontrollably. He hurriedly dressed and made his way out into the snow, his eyes were aflame with both promise and terror.

   
He screamed at the top of his lungs into the frozen wasteland. “Michelle! Michelle!”

   
A distant reply echoed his name faintly and he immediately raced in its direction. The voice became more insistent as he went, pleading his name in a mournful strain as he trudged violently against the snowy barrier that spread out before him. In his haste he repeatedly fell, but got back up with a frantic determination, for he now was certain that his bride had come back to him and no power on Earth would stop him from rescuing her. She would not be denied his salvation a second time!

   
He eventually came upon an opening in the side of a rock wall and hesitated for a moment not knowing which way to turn but was soon guided again by a soft sobbing coming from somewhere in the dark recess. He stepped into the blackness of the cave and at once remembered the few yellow rocks that he had stowed away for such a purpose. He knelt down and pulled from his pocket one of the smaller rocks and placed it on the ground. After a few moments of fumbling in another pocket, he produced a piece of flint and struck it hard upon the rock. A large yellow flame instantly hissed its way into existence, sending the darkness quickly fleeing before him.

   
He found himself staring into a cavernous room of ice and volcanic rock. As he turned his head from side to side searching this new wonder, he perceived a slight movement out the corner of his eye and he began moving cautiously in its direction. A muffled cry echoed against the walls as he heard once again the distraught voice pleading him forward.

   
A bone chilling scream then split the frigid air followed by the words, “Paul… please… dear God… save me!”

   
His heart nearly leapt from his chest as he yelled out, “Michelle! I’m here… I’m coming, sweetheart!”

   
Up ahead, he could see what appeared to be a shadow moving behind a slab of ice on a ledge high up the rock wall. He felt the urge to run but the path gradually narrowed itself and the steep incline leading to the ledge was treacherously slick. He nervously shuffled his way forward, grasping at the occasional outcropping of rock to steady himself.

   
The pathetic sobbing started once again, which only increased his anguish with every step. He stopped for a moment and looked up. He thought that he could now see the blurry outline of a woman’s face behind the sheet of ice directly ahead. The face began pressing its features against the frozen barrier as though searching for its would be savior.

   
“Michelle! I’m coming… I’m almost there!” he screamed out, but the face responded by receding back into the ice and becoming shadow once more.

   
Her diminishing features reignited his urgency and he attempted to hasten his steps but as he did, he lost his footing and fell on his backside. He experienced a moment of sheer terror as he realized that one side of the path had opened up to a black emptiness. One wrong step would mean certain death, but he was determined and quickly regained his composure. He clawed his way on hands and knees the final few yards until he finally reached the ledge itself. Perspiration and tears poured out from his body as he ever so carefully pulled himself up until he was flat against the ice wall.

   
“I’m here, darling!” he ecstatically screamed through the ice in triumph.

   
Behind the curtain of ice, a dark figure stirred at his announcement and slowly moved close to where he stood. The two faces seemed no more than a few inches apart but her features were obscured by an outer haze of frost. He frantically layered his breath upon the clouded ice and wiped it clean with the sleeve of his coat so that he could see more clearly but the shock of what appeared before him sent him reeling backward in terror. It was not the soft and gentle face of the beautiful young woman he so lovingly remembered and expected to see;  instead it was a gruesome figure wearing a mask of torn and charred flesh! A blood curdling scream then issued forth from the ghastly image, causing him to take another step backward, sealing his fate forever as he slipped over the side and plunged into eternal darkness.

(ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD)

   
Omni scientists gathered in the company’s boardroom to announce their final test results of the yellow rock. Sitting at the head of the table was Omni’s CEO reading through the report with great relish. He looked up at the scientists and board members present and stated with a huge grin, “By God, this company is going to be rich beyond its wildest dreams!”

   
His words started an avalanche of excited murmuring among the group. A moment later his eye caught something highlighted in the report. “Ah…what’s this notation at the bottom of the last page?” he asked out loud as everyone followed his lead and turned to the page in question.

   
“Oh right!” exclaimed one of the scientists at the table. “I was just getting to that, Sir. It seems that the rocks have another  unusual quality to them, they contain a very potent chemical that can act as an hallucinogenic, very similar to lysergic acid, or, in laymen’s terms…LSD.”

   
The CEO raised his eyebrows.

   
“But!” continued the scientist, “A person would actually have to swallow the rock in order for the effects to manifest.”

   
The CEO gave a look of concern. “You sure of that?”

   
“Absolutely!” responded the scientist.

   
“Well then, gentlemen,” said the CEO with a sigh of relief, “I don’t think we have to worry about the possibility of anyone actually eating our rocks…Eh?”