Wellington Cross (Wellington Cross Series) (29 page)

He reached over and picked up my hand with his.  I turned
and looked at him.  “I care about you a great deal and worry about your
safety constantly.  Jonas has assured me he’s keeping a close watch on
you, but still I worry.”

My heart was beating faster, but I couldn’t take much more of
this.  It was too painful.  I carefully eased my hand back out of his
and looked away.  “I appreciate your concern, but I can take care of
myself.  I hope you won’t be dropping by every day, Mr. Wellington.” 
I looked back at him again and said softly, “It will be hard enough seeing you
at church on Sundays.  My heart can’t take much more than that.”  I
was near tears but blinked them away quickly.

He looked at me sadly, and then nodded.  “As you wish, Mrs.
Wellington.”  He rose, kissed Lillie on the head and walked briskly back
to his carriage without another word.  I stood beside the porch and
watched him go.  I’d done it again…hurt his feelings.  But it
couldn’t be helped.  When he told me how much he cared about me and
worried about my safety, I was melting inside.  I had to keep it together,
or I’d never get on without him.  I’d never learn how to stand on my
own.  I had to continually break free of him, over and over again, because
even though my heart didn’t want to, my head told me it was for the best. 

Later that evening, William asked to speak to me out on the
river-front porch after supper. 

“I hope you don’t mind, but I talked to Ethan about you and
him.  He told me about you disappearing for a year, that he’d thought you
were dead, and then he’d met and married Elizabeth.”

I began fidgeting with my dress, averting his gaze.  “Yes,
that’s true.  I had lost all my memory during that year.  That’s why
I didn’t return.  Ethan’s mother found me at a marketplace just recently
and brought me to Wellington Cross, where they live.  I gradually got all
my memory back, except for how I came to lose my memory in the first place.”

“Then why didn’t Ethan annul his marriage to her and marry you
when you came back.  It’s obvious he still cares about you and you about
him.”

I sighed, not really wanting to share such private information
with this man I didn’t know very well.  But since he’d been a friend to
Ethan, and Ethan trusted him, I told him about Elizabeth being with child, and
that was the reason I came to live with my brother. 

“I do apologize if my inquiries are making you feel
uncomfortable, ma’am.  I’m just trying to get to know you better, and I
care about Ethan.  He was a good friend during the war.”  He stood up
to go over to the new bachelor’s quarters.  “If you ever need anything,
don’t hesitate to come to me.”

The following Sunday at Westover Church, Ethan greeted me
briefly before services, but Elizabeth was by his side this time, looking
better, much to my chagrin.  “Hello, Madeline,” she said, feigning a sweet
smile.

I sat on the opposite side of the church this time behind the
Smith family, luring Jonas away from the Wellingtons to sit with me.  I
didn’t want to be near Elizabeth, though that didn’t stop me from looking over
at her and Ethan from time to time. I caught Ethan looking at me one time, but once
caught, he quickly looked back at the preacher.

After the service, as Jonas and I were preparing to leave, Ethan
came over on the other side of our carriage, away from most everyone else,
close to the graveyard, to talk to me.  “I want to apologize for our last
meeting.  I was perhaps too brash about my concerns for you.  I had
no intentions of upsetting you.  Please you accept my apology.”

There he went, being civil, making me love him even more. 
“Of course, Mr. Wellington,” I said formally.  He touched my hand and
helped me into the carriage.

“I also hope that in the future, you are able to resume sitting
behind us in church.  That tradition started long before either of us was
born, and I hope you won’t let all this change that.  Besides, Lillie missed
you.”

“You’re right,” I agreed.  “I will consider it.” 

The Fourth of July was celebrated at the O’Loughlin parsonage on
a hot summer day.  All the local plantation owners and farmers brought
food in carriages, gathering on the grounds surrounding the O’Loughlin’s barn,
which was adjacent to the church.  All of the Wellingtons were there, and
Jonas and I, as well as William, who normally did not attend church with
us.  He brought Lillie a cornhusk doll that he had made, much to her
delight.  Ethan seemed envious but chatted with William briefly.  The
food and conversations were pleasant, but I was miserable watching Elizabeth
fuss over Ethan, and spent most of my time talking to William, hoping to make Ethan
feel a little jealous.  I was glad when a sudden rainstorm ended the
celebration.  That didn’t stop the firing of guns into the air, however,
before everyone left. 

A week later, Ethan rode up the drive on Blackfoot and found me
waiting on the carriage-side porch for Lillie.  It was cloudy and very
humid.

“I came to tell you that Lillie is ill with a fever, coughing,
and a runny nose, so she won’t be coming today.”

“Oh, no.  Poor little thing.  Let me take care of her
over here, Ethan.  Elizabeth doesn’t need to be around a sick baby while
she’s with child.”

“Mother is taking care not to let her around Elizabeth, or
anyone else, for that matter.  She’ll be fine there.  I don’t think
she would appreciate the carriage ride over.  She really looks miserable.”

“Please, Ethan.  I’m her mama.  Let me do this for
Clarissa, and for you.”

His gaze softened, and he got off his horse and came over to
stand before me on the porch.  “I appreciate the offer, I really do, but
she’s relatively comfortable where she is, and Doc Parsons will be coming by
later today.  Besides, I don’t want you to get ill, but I thank you for
the kind offer.”  He took my hand in his and softly kissed it.

My throat tightened, and I had to clear it before
speaking.  “All right, but the offer still stands if you change your
mind.  Tell your mother to bring her over to see me as soon as she’s
feeling better.  I shall miss her.” 

Without Lillie for the day, I asked Jonas to take us to the
marketplace and try to get some herbs for my herb garden I wanted to
start.  I already had some lavender and sage that Clarissa gave me, but I
wanted a few more herbs.  Jonas agreed, leaving William alone at the
plantation, which I wasn’t so sure was a good idea, but if Jonas trusted him,
then I supposed I should, as well.

At the marketplace, we exchanged some of mother’s jewelry for
some exotic pineapple, more coffee beans, tea, honey, and some herb plants of
basil, oregano, lemon balm, peppermint, and chamomile.  They all smelled
wonderful on the ride back home, especially the basil, which had the strongest
scent.

Once back at Magnolia Grove, the post delivered a letter from
Catherine stating she would be delighted to come live with us.  She and
Virginia would arrive next week, after packing up and preparing her house for
her husband’s nephew and his family who were coming to live there.

Later that evening, I fixed an early supper, which ended with
slices of the fresh pineapple; it was heavenly.  Ethan unexpectedly
knocked on the door, and I invited him into the dining room to share the
pineapple with us, to which he consented.  After Jonas and William left
the table, Ethan moved to the seat beside me, and I felt my heart beat faster
at his close proximity. 

“Doc Parsons came by and looked at Lillie.  He gave her
Balsam of Wild Cherry for her cough and told us to keep her rested.  He
said she should be herself again in a couple of days up to a week.”

“Oh, Ethan, I don’t know if I can go without her for a whole
week.  Couldn’t you please bring her by tomorrow?  I promise to keep
her quiet so she can rest.  I won’t take her out into the garden with me
at all.  I’ll just rock her, sing songs to her, and read her
stories.  Please, Ethan?”

He laughed lightly.  “You’re hard to refuse.  All
right, I will tell Mother to bring her on over tomorrow.  She was quite
fussy today.  Besides not feeling well, I think she missed you.”

“I missed her, too.”

“I miss you, as well, Madeline.”

I had to stop him, looking away.  “Please don’t say
that.  I can’t hear that right now,” I whispered, closing my eyes. 

He got up to leave, and I hesitated before following him out
onto the carriage-front porch.  I told him about mine and Jonas’ trip to
the marketplace and about all the herbs I bought for the garden I was planning
beside the grape arbor.

“That sounds nice.  I wish you luck with that.”

“I’m willing to share,” I said, smiling.

I got to see Lillie every day that week and we
just
relaxed while she got better.  I sang songs to her, rocked her, and let
her sleep next to me on my bed upstairs, as I still had not acquired a baby
bed.  Then she was taken back to Wellington as I prepared for the evening
meal.  It was really going to be nice having another woman around to help
me out with all of the household chores.

The second day Lillie was here while being ill, I started a nasty
habit of heaving in the mornings.  I feared I had caught something from
her, but I didn’t tell Ethan about it because I didn’t want him to keep her
away from me.  I did try not to get my face too close to hers, in case I
was infected with some different germ.  I ended up with a runny nose and
slight sore throat, but tea with honey helped with that.  I gave Lillie
the same thing every day, too.  By the end of the week, she was herself
again and wanted to crawl around everywhere, and began pulling herself up to
stand and actually walked around while holding onto the furniture.  I told
Ethan about that, and he was excited.

“Pretty soon she’ll be ready to learn riding horses,” he said to
me, teasingly. 

“Nuh-uh,” I said, teasing back.  “She can’t do that till
she’s at least 10.”

“Ten?  That’s much too old.  She’ll be in races by the
time she’s 10.  She has to start learning much earlier than that.”  I
laughed.

Ethan had started coming by every day with Clarissa that week to
drop Lillie off and pick her back up since Lillie was sick.  That way,
Clarissa could hold her and keep her comfortable while Ethan drove the
horses.  I was thankful that Ethan agreed to this arrangement because that
was the only way I was going to be able to see her while she was sick. 

I was actually beginning to feel more comfortable being around
Ethan again, even though my heart still ached for him.  I knew it couldn’t
be good for my heart, but I also couldn’t help feeling excited at seeing him
each time.  Now that I was out of Wellington Cross and away from
Elizabeth, I felt more relaxed around him.  It almost felt like we were
dating, except there was no hand-holding or kissing, no promises of a future
together; but we shared camaraderie in taking care of Lillie, and we fell into
easy conversations about her.  It was a bond I hoped would never be
broken.

The next week, Ethan, Clarissa, and Lillie came up the drive, with
another carriage following behind them.  It was Catherine and Virginia
along with a young black servant.  Jonas, William, and I had been out on
the river-side porch having coffee before starting the day with both doors to
the manor open, so we were able to hear the arriving carriages on the other
side of the house.  We all exchanged happy greetings.  Ethan seemed
jealous and aloof towards William, which made me feel somewhat better.  At
least I knew he still cared about me and had some of the same feelings I felt
when seeing him with Elizabeth.

Catherine was indeed the lady I had seen at the New Year’s Eve
party.  I would have to talk with her about that later.  When I had
written the letter to her inviting her to come live with us, I had not
mentioned the party, but I did explain to her about my memory loss, where I had
been living for the past year, and why I was not living with Ethan.  She
looked very much the same, though somewhat gaunt and thin.  She could
certainly do with some fattening up, as well as Jonas.  Virginia was a
striking young lady at the age of 10, who was petite with long golden blonde
hair, just like her mother’s and shared the same blue eyes. 

Catherine and Jonas seemed to take an immediate liking to each
other.  They both blushed when Jonas kissed her hand.  How
wonderful!  I hadn’t even considered that perhaps Catherine might be
matched up with one of the gentlemen here at Magnolia, but that would be
something special.  Jonas had a broken heart that needed to be mended, and
Catherine might be just the person to help him do that.  She even came
with a daughter, an instant family.  Maybe someone could have a happy
ending around here.

The black servant, Sambo, was just a boy not much older than
Virginia, perhaps 12 or 13.  He was the ex-slave that Clarissa had driven
up to Bellwood to help Catherine out.  It was agreed that he would stay at
Magnolia Grove as a hired hand and would help out in the corn fields.  He
was a freed slave whose mother died during the war and whose brothers left him
during an escape before Emancipation.  He didn’t know who his father
was.  He was not old enough to keep a house out on the property by
himself; therefore, he was set up in the new bachelor’s quarters on the bottom
floor, to have a room to himself.  When he turned 18, he would be allowed
to work as a tenant farmer if he wished, given a small piece of land, earn
wages, and acquire a house of his own, if he chose.  Until that time, he
would work for food and shelter.  Catherine stated she could teach him to
read and write, as she had been a teacher.