“Have fun. Tell her I said hi.”
“Thanks, Ma.” I jogged over to the bed, gave her a hug and then bailed. I knew Aspen well enough to know if I wasn’t at her door when she got there, she wouldn’t give me another chance. I liked that about her.
As soon as I stepped up to the porch, the door slid open slowly. I took off my shoes and left them on the porch, sneaking upstairs in my socks. The cool thing was, her parents had done some remodeling a few years back and their room was downstairs on the other end of the house. We were pretty safe up here as long as we were quiet.
“What do you want to watch?” She asked. For the first time since I got inside, I really looked at her. She’d taken a shower, too, because her hair was wet, tied in some kind of bun thing on top of her head. Her contacts were out and a pair of wire-rimmed glasses sat on her nose. She wore a pair of black pajama pants with a purple tank-top.
And, holy shit, did I want to touch her. I wanted to trace the strap of her shirt over her shoulder and down her back. Her skin looked so smooth, so creamy that I almost needed to touch it just to make sure it was real. I wanted my tongue in that little hollow spot at the base of her throat and, for the first time, I wondered what she tasted like. What it would be like to kiss Woodstock.
Woodstock!
She shouldn’t look so good, all dressed for comfort, but she did. Way better than Alex in her skimpy skirts or Abby and Crystal had at the party.
I jumped like a little girl when she clapped in front of my face. “Hello? Are you tired or something? You were totally spacing off for a minute there.”
I shook my head. “I’m cool,” I said, trying to play it off when really I was anything
but
cool right now. She shouldn’t look so hot at this moment, but she did. Is this what love was? Thinking a girl looked beautiful in her pajamas and glasses? Glasses that I was probably one of the only guys she’d let see her wearing? Was that a good thing or a bad thing?
“Soooo? What movie did you want to watch?” she asked, her hands on her hips.
“Um, as long as it’s not a romance, I’m game.” I sat on her bed, my back against the headboard. I had enough to worry about in my own life to contemplate a happily ever after for two bad actors on a movie screen.
“Comedy?”
“Yep.” I took a few deep breaths, trying to clear my head.
She put on some Will Ferrell movie and sat next to me on her bed. We’d done this a million times, leaned against this same headboard, our arms touching as we watched a movie, but it felt different. My skin tingled a little where she touched me. I was totally aware of that one spot more than I’d been aware of anything in my whole life. I didn’t know if I wanted the feeling to go away or to feel it forever.
“So… I never said thanks for the other night.” She dropped her head onto my shoulder. “God, I don’t know what got into me. I was kind of nervous about something. I must have looked like such an idiot.”
I put my arm around her. “Aw, don’t worry about it. We’ve all gotten drunk and puked on a friend before. I think it’s like a teenage rite of passage or something.”
Her voice was soft when she spoke again. “Yeah, but I was going into a room with a guy I didn’t even know, Bastian. What would have happened if you weren’t there?”
I pulled her a little closer, trying to tell her that I would always be there. I hated it when girls got upset, especially Aspen and all I wanted to do was make it better. “But I was. That’s the whole point of the PPP. We watch out for each other.”
She started picking at the peeled lettering on the old t-shirt I wore. When she found a stubborn piece, she pushed and her hand ended up touching my stomach through my shirt and I hissed, like I’d never been touched by a girl before. “You mean you watch out for us. You’re always taking care of people and I don’t even think you realize it. Me, Jaden, Pris.” Even though I didn’t really believe a word she said, I let her keep going, enjoying what she said too much. “Do you think any other guy our age would have held my hair while I puked after ruining their favorite shirt? Carried their stupid, drunk friend up to their room and let them pass out in their bed while they slept in a chair? Nope. Just you.”
“You might not think that if you knew I was hitting on a twin when you almost disappeared with that guy. I could have very easily screwed up and not been there when you needed me.” I couldn’t help it. Her skin was calling me too much. I was a guy and she was a girl and that damn magnetic pull made me do it, but I rubbed my hand over her bare shoulder. I did it soft, the way girls liked, whispering my fingers around the skin I’d been admiring. God she felt good. Why didn’t other girls feel like this?
“But you still came. You bailed on that girl and found me when I needed you. You,” she poked my side. It was such a friend move that I wanted to groan. Here I was savoring the feel of her and she was poking me. Nice. When did I turn into that guy? “Sebastian Hawkins, you are a caretaker. You’ll never admit it, because you’re too busy trying to be Mr. Ladies’ Man, but you take care of people. Your mom… me…”
And there went the mood killer. “Pfft.” I pulled away from her. “I do a pretty shitty job of taking care of my mom, Woodstock. You’ve seen her tears almost as much as me and now she has this new guy. I went out for lunch with them that day we were supposed to meet, and he was good. Played the perfect guy and even told me he wanted to marry her, but I don’t even know if I can trust him.” The floodgates were open and even though I’d regret this, I couldn’t stop. “I kind of do, ya know? I think I want that normal life with two parents at home; but what if I do and he hurts her? I’m sick of not being able to protect her.”
Aspen moved closer to me. We were facing each other now, her legs crossed in those stupid, sexy pajama bottoms. “She’s your mom, Bastian. It’s not your job to take care of her and no matter if you trust the guy or not, she’s the only one who can make her own decisions. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting normal. You deserve it. You may be cocky and arrogant,” she grabbed my hand. “But you deserve to have what you want. You deserve everything.”
I wondered if she would still think that if she knew what I wanted was her. I tried to smile at her, before I eased back. I nodded my head and she settled in beside me again to watch the movie.
Chapter Nine
The rest of the week went by in a blur. DJ had taken me up on my offer and I’d had to work every day straight until Friday came along. Lame. But at least I knew I’d have some extra cash flow when I got back, since I’d pulled some from my stash for the weekend. According to Pris, the house we had would be stocked with food, but I figured there’d be some stuff we’d want to do while we were there.
Speaking of cash, I took a quick break from my packing to pull up my Hook-up Doctor account. PA still hadn’t been in contact with me. I was a little worried. Hopefully she hadn’t had any problems and things were still on track. That fifty bucks would come in handy after this trip. Plus, I kind of hoped things turned out for her. Love was in the air and all that shit.
Because I’d decided that’s what this was. I was in love. It kind of freaked me the hell out, but what could I do? Besides figure out my next step, which I needed to be doing. Did I want to believe Mom and go with all that fate and believing crap, or did I want to pretend I’d never taken a ride on the crazy train and try going back to the way things were? When I didn’t think about kissing and touching Aspen every two seconds?
But then, I wasn’t even sure I could do that.
When I saw one new message in my email folder, I clicked the little icon.
Hook-up Doctor,
Can you tell I’ve been avoiding you? I screwed up. Big time.
“Damn,” I mumbled. I’d been afraid of this.
I thought I had a game plan in mind. When I got there, we talked a bit, but then went our separate ways. Then I saw him talking to another girl and I got kind of bummed out. I know it’s stupid, he’s a guy and it was a party, but I lost my nerve. I figured if I drank a little bit, that might help me loosen up… Which totally isn’t like me. Unfortunately, I got a little too loose.
My body shot forward in the chair, like getting closer to the screen would make me read the message faster. I didn’t know what it was, but something about this note felt familiar to me.
I got wasted. Like, way drunker than I’ve ever been. It was a mess. I flirted with the wrong guy, almost ended up locked in a room with him, puked, ruined a lucky shirt and had to get carried out of the party by my best friend!
My heart was thundering like crazy now. Was this what I thought it was? My leg bounced uncontrollably as I scrolled down.
I don’t think puke is a real sexy look for a girl. I totally blew it. It’s stuff like this that totally keeps you in the friend territory! I’m the girl who tried to be someone she wasn’t, fell on her face and now, instead of noticing when I wear a really cute tank top and paint my nails, I’ll be the funny one who vomited all over a party.
“Holy shit!” I jumped out of my chair. PA was Aspen. It had to be. The parties were the same night, she puked, got carried, ruined my lucky shirt. It all started making sense. All the little pieces of the pretty obvious puzzle I should have figured out much sooner started to fit together. I told PA to be extra nice to the guy and Aspen brought me job hunting. I told her to ignore him and she blew me off at the arcade. We talked at the party, separated and then I started talking with Crystal. She talked to the guy, saw me with a girl, and then got trashed.
“No freaking way.” I ran a hand through my hair, all of a sudden feeling much better about this love thing than I had a few minutes ago.
The different clothes, the nails, the hair, all of it had been because she liked me. I was the chump! Okay, so it didn’t sound as good when I said it that way, but we were friends. She’d said that in the beginning. That I liked girls who wore shirts too small and, well, not that I was real proud to admit it, but I guess Alex proved that theory, but hell, she wanted me.
She
wanted
me.
Aspen wanted
me
. I fell back into the chair, my head resting against the back. Suddenly, it was just excitement surging inside me. For some reason, it was a whole lot easier to accept it when I just wanted her, but knowing she felt the same made it real. What if she wanted to be my girlfriend? Considering she came to me—The Hook-up Doctor—to get together with, well, me, I was pretty sure that’s exactly what she wanted.
I’d never done the girlfriend thing. Hell, I made fun of guys who did it at my age. But then, this was Aspen and I’d just realized I loved her, so that should change things, right? Just five minutes ago, I hadn’t been sure I wanted to go there, though. I’d never forgive myself if I did to her what countless guys had done to my mom.
Leaning forward, I started reading again.
How do I come back from this? Is it possible? And I can’t believe I’m going to admit this to you, but since I don’t know you, I figure it’s okay. What if I start to have second thoughts?
No!
My stomach dropped. Don’t have second thoughts! “What did I do?” Damn, girls were confusing. I thought I had them figured out, but I was wrong. Three lines ago she liked me and now she wasn’t sure!
Have you ever had girls contact you who thought they wanted one thing, but then kind of wondered about another? God, I’m such a mess! Ignore that second thoughts part. I just need your help. I can pay you overtime or whatever since I’m the one who screwed this up so badly. What should I do?
PA Rocks
P.S. Another what if. What should the girl do it he still doesn’t seem interested?
I was definitely interested.
Even though I was practically shaking in my Vans, this changed everything. I was the freakin’ Hook-up Doctor. Didn’t I tell girls to decide who they were and stick with it? Well, it was time I decided who I was.
Flashes from the other night popped into my head: how her skin felt beneath mine while I touched her, talked to her. The protective rush I’d felt when that jackass tried to take her into the room. The cinnamon scent and the way I loved how she looked all curled up in my bed. The rush I felt just hanging out with her. I’d never run in my whole life and sure didn’t plan to start now.
I’d prove to her she wasn’t stuck in the friend territory. That, even when she fell on her face, I’d pick her up again and she didn’t have to be anyone other than Woodstock for me. Mom would be proud. When it came to Aspen, I’d put every one of those cheesy romance books she read to shame. Watch out, world. The Hook-up Doctor was in love.
***
It was freaky how once you realized you loved someone, and they felt the same way about you, they could look different, yet the same; how they felt familiar, but not. As Aspen slept on my shoulder during the hour and a half drive to the beach, I realized a couple things. First, this whole love thing was confusing as hell. How
did
something look different, but still the same? It didn’t make any sense at all. Yet that was exactly how it felt. Good, but weird.