What Just Happened? (33 page)

S
COTT
: NO. NO.

B
EN
: You think I'm weak, that I don't care, that I won't fight back?

Ben pounds Scott against the car window. It shatters. Scott slides to the ground
.

B
EN
: WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT BAG, ALL YOU'LL BE ABLE TO WRITE IS TAMPON JINGLES. DO YOU HEAR ME FUCK FACE. TAMPON JINGLES! YOU FUCKING HACK!

Ben shoves the argyle sock into Scott's mouth and starts to suffocate him with it. Scott's eyes start to bug out. He's going to die. The camera zeros in on Ben's face when suddenly
, as if nothing happened …

EXT. HOLLYWOOD CEMETERY CHAPEL

Ben changes his expression to complete calmness. He almost smiles
.

B
EN
: Go ahead, Scott, it's your dime. I'm all ears.

As we turn to Scott, we see there is no sock in his mouth. He is relaxed. NOTHING HAPPENED. They are still in the line on their way to the grave site
.

S
COTT
: Are you all right? For a moment there … I thought you were …

B
EN
: What?

S
COTT
: Nothing … I just wanted to tell you the florist movie now has a star interested in doing it, and, quite frankly, I would rather see you produce it than Leonard.

B
EN
:
No
. No. Who do you think I … wait. Heh. I don't understand. You want to
throw
this opportunity my way? Why?

S
COTT
: I think it would be great. My agent said it would be good business … that you could get the money and you're the right guy to run interference on this one. And, quite frankly, I agree with him.

B
EN
: Out of the question.

S
COTT
: Why?

B
EN
: Well … I have to, I believe, there's a coupla things you and I would need to sort out first.

S
COTT
: Sure. Like what?

B
EN
: Like you're seeing my ex-wife.

S
COTT
: Ben, you've been divorced for a year and a half.

B
EN
: It doesn't matter.

S
COTT
: Hell, you almost married somebody else six months ago. Remember.

B
EN
: So what? It's not right. It doesn't FEEL right! It's wrong. I mean … uhh … for God's sake Scott,
you're married!

S
COTT
: What difference does it make. I'm NOT HAPPY. NOT HAPPY. Is that a feeling that's not familiar to you?

B
EN
: I'm going to have to think about this.

S
COTT
: Fine.

B
EN
: Uhh … by the way, who's the actor in the florist movie?

S
COTT
: Brad Pitt. Got the call last night.

B
EN
: He's in?

S
COTT
: Hundred percent.

Ben hesitates, trying to think this through
.

B
EN
: Brad Pitt as a florist. He'd be good.

S
COTT
: Sure would.

B
EN
: I've already got a couple of thoughts …

S
COTT
: Yeah. This shouldn't affect us.

EXT. HOLLYWOOD CEMETERY CHAPEL/GRAVEYARD

They continue walking away toward the grave site with the rest of the mourners
.

S
COTT
: I thought he did a brilliant job up there today. He's a good spokesman for our industry.

B
EN
: What'd you think of his beard?

S
COTT
: I think it hides his double chin.

B
EN
: It does that.

Scott decides to go to his car. They say their good-byes
.

EXT. HOLLYWOOD CEMETERY/GRAVESIDE

Ben decides to go to the open grave. The rabbi is already starting to offer some final benedictions
.

The coffin, covered in flowers, is about to be lowered. Ben decides to walk to the other side and as he passes through the crowd HE WINDS UP ACCIDENTALLY STANDING NEXT TO HIS BEARDED MOVIE STAR
.

The following conversation takes place in tense whispers as the casket is being lowered
.

A
CTOR
: I wouldn't stand there if I were you.

B
EN
: I'm certain that we are making more out of this than is necessary.

A
CTOR
: I told you, no.

B
EN
: (
under his breath
) ‘No' means the picture's as dead as Jack. That's not good for you or me.

A
CTOR
: Save the speech.

Mourners are now shoveling dirt on the grave
.

A
CTOR
: Look. You're a producer. You're just the fucking mayonnaise in a bad sandwich.

B
EN
: They're gonna crush your nuts.

A
CTOR
: I doubt that.

The Rabbi sings ‘Oseh Shalom' while the mourners begin shoveling dirt into Jack's grave
.

The actor goes to pick up a shovel. He digs up some dirt and forcefully tosses it into the grave and then slams the shovel deep into the mound of earth, as if he were intending it for Ben. He looks back at Ben and smiles. Ben nonchalantly walks over and yanks the shovel from the dirt to show he doesn't back off. He tosses his bit of earth forcefully into the grave, accidentally jabbing the next guy in line, Dick Bell, careening him head-first into the grave. It takes all of Ben's will to keep himself from following. Flustered and embarrassed, Ben with the help of other mourners, pulls Dick back out onto the fake green turf. Ben mouths his apologies to the rabbi. In the back of the crowd, Zoe looks away, embarrassed
.

Cut to:

INT. BEN'S APARTMENT KITCHEN

Espresso brewing. A can of Red Bull pulled from the fridge
.

INT. BEN'S BEDROOM—MOMENTS LATER

Ben is seated at the edge of his bed. He has changed his clothes to studied casual wear. Levi's, loafers without socks, etc. He's wearing slightly tinted glasses. His phone rings
.

B
EN
: Hello?

Cut to:

INT. VAST ABANDONED FACTORY/CONVERTED SOUNDSTAGE

It's Cal on his cell phone. Behind him, there is a beehive of activity. Makeup and hair people are preparing the extras and actors for the first scene. The wardrobe truck is filled with people attempting to deal with the last-minute alterations and changes
.

The catering truck is on movie time. A line of workers is gathered around the tables waiting to get ‘breakfast' to steel themselves for a long night of shooting
.

It looks like chaos but it is actually a well-orchestrated group of actors, extras, and crew gearing up for a movie
.

C
AL
: It's Cal. It's a desperate time. Desperate! Could you once for the love …

Cut to:

INT. BEN'S BEDROOM

Ben on the phone doing a perfect imitation of his answering machine
.

B
EN
: Please leave a message.

Ben continues to dress
.

C
AL
: Are you kidding me? Our first day of shooting and we don't even know if we're going to shoot at all. What the FUCK is that? You should be here. I
need
you. SOS! I'm in a hangar in the valley … I need information! …

Ben likes the sound of being needed. But he doesn't pick up the phone
.

INT. ABANDONED FACTORY/MOVIE SOUNDSTAGE

C
AL
: (
into his cell phone
) Wait. There he is.

Dramatically, the huge metal door to the factory starts to slide open revealing a blast of hot sunlight. Through the haze a black SUV slowly enters the compound
.

C
AL
: They're pulling up in his SUV right now. He's early. This could be a very good sign. The car is headed straight for his trailer. I better go.

Click. Ben gathers his things and walks out
.

Cut to:

OMITTED

EXT. DANCE STUDIO

Ben pulls up
.

INT. DANCE STUDIO

Zoe is in a line of six girls and two boys going through a series of exercises in a small wood-floor studio. Modern dance music is blaring from a portable CD player. Through the small window of the schoolroom door, Ben's face appears. He watches the kids dance
.

He carefully opens the door, trying not to interrupt the class. Zoe sees him. Ben looks over at her and smiles. She doesn't react. He places a small Barney's gift bag near the door. He mimes: ‘this is for you, I've got to go.' Zoe, still going through her steps, watches Ben leave
.

The music stops. Zoe opens the Barney's bag, takes out a small box, sees a small gold chain necklace inside. She opens the card: ‘Good God, I think I've come to the conclusion that my daughter is older than me. Better late than never. Love, Dad
.'

Zoe smiles
.

Cut to:

INT. VAST ABANDONED FACTORY

Angle on Ben and Cal, the director, who are walking through the cluster of activity. The actors' trailers are in the background
.

C
AL
: He went right from the car to his trailer and burrowed deep.

B
EN
: What'd he look like?

C
AL
: Hard to tell, he had a hat, sunglasses, and a scarf. Kept his back to everyone. The makeup guy and his assistant are the only ones in the trailer. The door's locked.

S
UIT
#1: Didn't the teamster who drove him see him?

C
AL
: Said he didn't notice.

B
EN
: I ran into him yesterday at Jack's funeral.

C
AL
: Well?

B
EN
: Not good.

A FEW MOMENTS LATER Ben and Cal, like the rest of the crew, are standing on set waiting for Bruce. A young studio ‘suit' approaches
.

Y
OUNG SUIT
: Sid has asked me to come out to support you guys but he's adamant. If the status is quo, this baby goes down.

B
EN
: Let's be patient.

Y
OUNG SUIT
: If he's forced to, he'll make the movie with Jeff Daniels.

C
AL
: I'd have to think about that.

Y
OUNG SUIT
: He said he's not sure that he'd keep you either.

1
ST
AD: (
to Cal
) Cal, we're going to be ready in ten. (
he walks away
) Alison, let's make sure first team is set!

C
AL
: If the ‘status is quo'?

B
EN
: It's a new breed.

Cal and Ben share a glance and keep walking
.

Cut to:

EXT. STAR'S TRAILER

Ben, Cal and the two suits are standing off to the side. Behind them forty people from the cast and crew are casually gathered trying to look disinterested in the proceedings. The first AD knocks on the trailer door
.

1
ST
AD: Ready on the set, sir.

The door opens but it's not the Actor, it's his assistant
.

A
SSISTANT
: Two minutes. Almost there. (
turns to Bruce, inside
) Huh? … (
to the AD
) Three.

The assistant shuts the door. Cal lights up a cigarette
.

Y
OUNG SUIT
: I'm betting no.

B
EN
: What kind of a remark is that? People's livelihoods are at stake.

Y
OUNG SUIT
: Make a note. A producer with a conscience.

Noise is coming from inside the trailer. Someone has slightly drawn the blinds and part of his face can briefly be seen through the shadow as he walks by the window. It looks like the beard's still there. Disappointed, the bystanders look away
.

Y
OUNG SUIT
: They say, you know, we're measured by how we handle adversity.

B
EN
: You're going to have to stop it. All right? Stop it.

Cal is starting to look pale and desperate. He offers Ben a cigarette. Cal's hand is shaky
.

C
AL
: Go ahead. Calm the nerves.

B
EN
: Okay. Why not? It's only been thirty years.

Ben takes a big drag
.

The trailer door suddenly swings open. The crowd goes stone still. It's as if Elvis is about to descend. Ben, subconsciously edges closer. Ten long seconds go by. Nothing. Ben's had enough
.

B
EN
: COME ON ALREADY! THAT'S IT! WHAT'S IT GOING TO BE? LET'S GO!

Cal sucks hard on his cigarette
.

The Actor slowly moves out and stands on the top step. BAD NEWS. He's only in profile but his beard looks like it got even longer
.

Everyone lets out a collective groan. The actor, without turning his face, takes a big drag from a small cigar. He looks pissed off
.

B
EN
: OKAY. OKAY. HERE WE ARE, AREN'T WE? GAME OVER!

With perfect timing the actor turns to face the crowd exposing the other side of his face. THE OTHER SIDE OF HIS FACE IS SHAVED! IT'S SHAVED! He looks like a circus sideshow performer, ‘the half-bearded man.' The half-bearded movie star gets a big grin on his face
.

A
CTOR
: Hey, how about we get this fucker on the road?

The crowd breaks into applause
.