Where I Wanna Be (46 page)

“
So you’ve seen her?” Faith inquired.

“
Well… well, no. But you know my neighbor, Trey? Well, his mother’s cousin’s baby mother has seen her and let me tell you,” Krista leaned in with a shoulder, “she is
ugly
!”

Faith gave a soft smile. She saw a picture of the mystery woman up close and personal. Tall, curvy, and long, blonde hair. She was either Latina or light-skinned Black, as indicated by the honey-colored complexion. Faith tried to tell herself it didn’t matter but she couldn’t help but feel she was Eli’s preference. If he had cheated on her with someone who looked closer to her, Faith could at least reason it had to be problems at home or maybe something with her attitude.

But with Eli’s girlfriend looking the way she did, it did raise insecurities within Faith. Was she too dark for her husband? Was she not light enough? Eli always complimented her dark chocolate hue, loving how it contrasted against his complexion, especially when they made love. He always wanted them to watch each other in the mirror as they pleasured each other throughout the night.
“You see that, baby? You see my cock pumping in and out of you like that?” He whispered to her as she rode him reverse cowgirl style. Eli softly reached down and played with Faith’s moist folds before he trailed his fingers back up to her hardened nipples, circling and pinching them with her desire. “I love how your body glistens against mine. You see how beautiful you look right now? How our bodies swirl together like that? We’re making our own porn, baby...”

Faith squeezed her eyes shut as the memory faded into the background. She would always have that memory in particular—Nathan was conceived that night. “Well, that’s Eli’s choice, not mine.”

“
Well, I’m just sayin’,” Krista gave a half-shrug, “Eli was a fool and probably did you a favor.”

Darren immediately entered Faith’s thoughts. She found herself wondering how her new friend was doing and if he’d started training camp. She hoped he stayed hydrated working out in the sweltering summer heat. No, it wasn’t just those reasons. She could still taste his kiss on her lips. She softly patted her lips with an index finger, reminding her of Darren. “Maybe.”

“
Anyway, I just wanted to see how you were
really
doing. You know I care about you, girl.” Krista smiled.

“
And, I thank you. It’s been rough, I’m not going to lie. Eli and I are trying to be civil to each other for Nate’s sake, but we’ll see how long that lasts. I just…” Faith looked out the window. “…I just never thought I would be a single mother. Eli is all I know. I’ve been with him since I was 17. Long enough for him to raise me, you feel me? He paid for everything—college, hair school—he gave me spending money so I could go out with my girls on the weekends, you remember that? He always gave me some money so I wouldn’t be without. He would take me out shopping, spoil me… made me feel like I was the most beautiful girl in the world. He let me have the freedom to do whatever I want but we both knew where home was.”

“
But you two broke up a lot, though, Faye…” Krista smirked. “It wasn’t all roses between y’all.”

“
It wasn’t, it wasn’t. I’ll admit that.” Faith acknowledged. “But that’s the thing about love. No matter what we go through, no matter what happens between us, we always found our way back to each other.”

“
So that brings the million-dollar question—do you want Eli to find his way back to you?” Krista asked.

Faith let out a sigh and rested her mouth on a hand. “Only if he wants to.” Her cell phone buzzed and Faith recognized the number as Darren’s. “Excuse me, Krista. I need to take this.”

“
Not a problem,” Krista excused herself out of the office and closed the door behind her.

Faith answered the phone. “Hey, stranger.”

“
Hey, beautiful,” Darren’s low rumble greeted over the phone, “how is my girl doing today?”

“
Your girl is doing fine,” Faith smiled. Thinking of Darren did seem to make her mood lighter. “How are you doing?”

“
Good, good. I’m about to head out to camp in a few minutes but I just wanted to say hello and that I was thinking about you and Nate. How is your schedule looking this week? I would love to see you sometime if you’re available. You can bring Nate along.”

“
Well, I have to see what Nate’s father is up to. He might want to see Nate this week so I’m not sure what his plans are.” It just occurred to Faith that was the first time she referred to Eli as her son’s father and not by his name. It was a strange feeling.

“
Well, just keep me posted, Faye. I’ll call you after camp ends today.” He replied.

“
All right, Darren. Talk to you soon.” She hung up the phone. She rested her head on a hand and thought about the conversation.
He called me Faye. Only Eli ever called me Faye, then everyone else started doing it.
Faith wasn’t sure how she felt about her potential new love interest calling her by a pet name her husband had already established, but she wasn’t going to correct him. She still wasn’t sure about Darren and she definitely wasn’t sure about what was going on between her and Eli.

Faith rested her head on the desk and softly swayed it.
Never did I think in a million years, I would be stuck between two men…

****

It was a long day at the MillionHair salon. From women getting ready for the holidays to teenage girls getting beautified for the homecoming dances, Faith and her staff were running around non-stop. Faith was lucky she was able to have lunch between heads. She stayed behind to close up and clean, promising to meet her staff at the bar in a short while.

As she made herself a cup of tea she heard the salon door buzz up in front. “Shit!” She scoffed. “I forgot to lock the front door. I’ll just have to tell them to come back tomorrow.” She walked out into the front and was met by a tall blonde. “I’m sorry; we’re closed for the night.”

“Actually, that’s why I’m here.” Simone smiled. “I wanted to talk to you alone.”

“Me?” Faith questioned, confused by the woman before her. “I’m sorry, do I know you?”

“No, but I know you,” Simone put down her purse in a nearby chair. “I’m Simone Harris. Eli’s girlfriend.”

Faith had wondered if she would ever come to face-to-face with Eli’s girlfriend. She had her looks memorized—oval-shaped face, thick, long-blonde hair. Faith was convinced she could identify Simone even in the dark.

“We have nothing to talk about,” Faith said after a long pause.

“We have a lot to talk about, actually,” Simone clarified.

Faith looked at Simone long and hard. Simone was determined to have that conversation with her, whether Faith wanted to or not. “Fine, have a seat,” Faith motioned to another chair and walked away to start her tea. “Did you want anything to drink?”

“No, I’m fine,” Simone politely declined. “Anyway, I’ll keep this short and sweet. I came here to tell you my side of the story and inquire when you’re going to sign the divorce papers from Eli.”

Faith briefly looked up and felt a cold chill ease through the room. She glanced at her arms; the hair was standing up on them. She peeked at a hand; she was shaking.
Oh, this bitch has some nerve.
“I don’t want to know your side of the story, Simone. I don’t care.”

“You should,” she interrupted, “Eli and I didn’t get together until you two had already separated.”

“We’re not separated,” Faith corrected.

“Well, you’re not still together.” Simone stated.

“That’s your opinion,” Faith replied.

Simone saw where the argument was going and decided to veer off into a different direction. “Anyway, I wanted to clear the air between us so there’s no misunderstanding. I also wanted to know when the divorce was going to happen.”

“You’re eager for me to divorce my husband,” Faith fixed her tea and gathered a small plate of dark chocolate. She sat directly across from Simone. “Why?”

“Eli and I are soul-mates,” Simone stated, “we belong together.”

“One could say the same thing about me and Eli,” Faith eyed Simone, “one could say the exact same thing.”

“It wasn’t like we planned it, Faith. It wasn’t like we sneaked around with each other.” Simone explained.

Faith debated if she should inquire more about their relationship. A part of her wanted to know the story from the beginning. A part of her would rather not know about anything at all. Curiosity got the best of her. There was no telling when Eli would come clean about everything and Faith wanted some closure. “When did it all start?”

“Like us being together? The night you and Eli—”

“No,” Faith shook her head, “it started before that. When?”

Simone hissed a sharp breath and thought about when everything started. The moment she walked into Madre’s? The moment Eli hugged her before she drove away? The moment he placed a hand on her thighs at Gino’s? “It happened several months ago. We kissed after we went to Happy Hour.”

Hearing the confirmation was harder to Faith than she expected. “Okay,” she nodded, slowly ingesting the information, “and that’s where it all started? You two were sneaking around?”

“No,” Simone answered, “we only kissed a few times. We never had sex until you two were separated.”

“Okay,” Faith wasn’t sure if she felt relief or anger. Relief that it was only kissing to a certain point. Anger that Eli had make-out sessions with Simone before he came home to her. Faith also didn’t have to wonder where Eli’s new appetite for sex came from. She was staring at the inspiration.

“I really don’t want to relive the past, Faith,” Simone pressed on, “I really want to see why there’s a delay with the divorce. It’s clear both you and Eli have moved on and it’s time to settle everything, once and for all.”

“You’re really anxious for me to get divorced,” Faith finally played Simone’s hand, “like it bothers you that we’re not.”

“It’s been several months, Faith, and it’s clear Eli isn’t happy,” Simone argued, “if you don’t want to be with Eli, just sign the papers and be done with it.”

“Is Eli living with you?” Faith asked.

“No, he’s not.”

“Don’t you find that to be a bit weird?” Faith wondered, with a hint of a smirk on her face.

Simone really didn’t like the look of satisfaction Faith seemed to have. “He doesn’t want to have any permanent arrangements until things are settled between you two.” Simone clarified. “Once things are settled between you two, then he’ll move forward.”

“Why are you so anxious for us to divorce?” Faith wondered. “Why do you care so much?”

“I care because I have my own future to think about,” Simone thought about her recent pregnancy test and was disappointed it came up negative, “and I need closure to move on.”

“Closure?
You
need closure?” Faith scoffed. She wanted to laugh. “That's the difference between you and me, Simone. You get to play
wifey
when I'm the actual
wife
.”