Where I Wanna Be (48 page)

Just as the pleasant thoughts of reconciliation entered Eli’s mind, his younger brother’s admission jolted him back to a harsh reality. It took a minute for the bitter pill to digest but once it did, Eli still didn’t like the taste of it. “A new boyfriend?”

“
Yeah,” Tony folded his cards. “I overheard it from the girls at the shop. Some guy named Darren has been pretty sweet on Faye recently.”

“
Darren, huh?” Nick inquired and turned to Eli. “You know a Darren?”

Eli took a long and hard gulp of his beer. “Yep.”

The brothers looked amongst themselves. “And this night just got that much more interesting,” Joey smiled.

“
Who’s Darren, bro?” Kieran asked.

“
Darren is Darren Matthews.” Eli bit the inside of his cheek.

“
Darren Matthews?” Tony asked. “Like the quarterback, Darren Matthews?”

“
Like seven touchdown passes setting a new Super Bowl record, Darren Matthews?” Joey asked.

“
Like the greatest quarterback to ever walk the earth, Darren Matthews?” Kieran asked.

“
Are y’all really acting like a bunch of
finocchios
?” Eli asked around.

“
Ooh…” Nick’s eyes had a gleam in them. “What is this we hear? Is that a little jealousy?”

“
Vaffanculo!
” Eli huffed and sipped his beer. “I ain’t jealous of that asshole.”

“
But the thought of Faye possibly showing him her goodies got you twisted. You have to admit that, bro.” Joey had a smirk on his lips.

“
Faye ain’t that type,” Eli shook his head, “she’s a good girl and she wouldn’t do anything like that. She’s not going to go out and sleep with someone else just because.”

“
So, I guess this is the part I shouldn’t tell you that Nate is staying with Faye’s parents this weekend?” Tony added.

Eli knew Nate was going to be with his grandparents and he just thought Faith needed a girls’ weekend or maybe a weekend alone with no interruption. He never once thought she was going to be going out with another man.
Except they’re not just going out.
If Faith was seeing Darren and Nathan was staying with his grandparents that weekend, Eli didn’t have to wonder why.

Eli never considered himself to be a jealous person. He thought jealousy was just a sign of insecurity and only people with low self-esteem had it. He was very secure with himself. He was secure with his relationships. He never had a reason to be jealous of Faith’s male friends and knew each and every one of them.

But Darren, though… that asshole was making Eli feeling all types of emotions. The thought of him putting his crusty-ass lips on Faith’s soft and smooth body… diving into her nectar throughout the night as their bodies collided over and over… eventually Faith would show off the new engagement ring that Darren gave her… Nate talking about his
other daddy…

Trepidation. That’s what he was feeling. Anger. That was the other emotion. Disgust. Now that was the big one.

“
You just got
real
quiet,
real
quick.” Kieran commented. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“
Until I hear it from Faye, it’s just a rumor.” Eli shrugged. “Simple as that. She would’ve told me if she was.”

“
Bro, there’s a reason why Faye didn’t tell you.” Nick smiled. “She knows you.”

“
What is that supposed to mean?” Eli asked.

“
It means…” Kieran got up to get another beer. “…your bite is worse than your bark. Yeah, you’re acting all calm with us because we know you. But once you see Faye and Darren together, you’re not going to be so calm, cool, and collected.”

Eli dismissed his brother. “I’ll be fine. What am I going to say? She can’t date what’s-his-face…”

“
Darren,” Tony chimed in.

“
Whatever,” Eli rolled his eyes. “Am I really going to tell her that she shouldn’t date anyone, when I’m with Moni?”

“
Oh, you won’t tell her that,” Joey laid out his cards, “you’ll just keep thinking it and believing it.”

“
And silently hope Faith knows telepathy,” Nick smiled.

****

“
This is a really nice apartment, D.” Faith looked around Darren’s Brooklyn apartment. It was modern with a few classical touches. The dining room was decorated in all-white, down to the bearskin rug that housed the dining table and settings. The living room reminded her of an old cabin with a large fireplace and dark furniture. The bathrooms were spacious with shades of greens and blues decorating the rooms and Faith found herself to be a little jealous of how big Darren’s tub was.

Darren’s master bedroom was absolutely breathtaking—with a spectacular view of New York and wall-to-wall windows flanking the large four post bed. A flat-screen TV was installed in the ceiling and only came down via remote. The bedroom was painted in a color that reminded Faith of a rich dulce de leche that simply brought out the opulence.

Every room looked like a showcase and Faith briefly forgot she was inside an apartment. It screamed exquisite taste of a legendary Hollywood actor, not a world-famous athlete. “Much nicer than I expected.” She complimented.

“
What did you expect?” Darren poured two glasses of wine for them both. “It was going to be a pigsty?”

“
Well, you’re a celebrity bachelor who travels a lot. I’m sure if you were to entertain a woman, you would take her to a hotel and not back here,” Faith accepted the glass of wine Darren offered her. “So yes, in a sense, I thought it was going to be a pigsty.”

Since their fateful meeting in Florida two months ago, Darren and Faith had become fast and close friends, talking every night on the phone, sending text messages, and even going on webcam with each other. Though Darren had mentioned several times about how much he wanted to date Faith, she always turned him down, citing schedules and distance.

At least that’s what she hoped was the truth. The real story was things between her and Eli were better than ever and Faith was flirting with the idea of reconciliation, though Eli hadn’t brought it up. Maybe they’d needed that break. Maybe they’d needed to step away from each other to stop and smell the roses.

“
I treat a beautiful woman out to dinner, show her around Brooklyn, offer her to stay with me in a separate bedroom so she wouldn’t have to worry about any funny business, and yet she’s still not mentally here with me.” Darren studied Faith’s demeanor. “Am I trying too hard? Am I not trying enough?”

It was time for Faith to come clean about everything. She had been leading him on for too long and he deserved better. “I need to tell you the story about what’s really going on between me and Nate’s father,” Faith began, “about a couple months ago, Eli left us to be with another woman. We’ve been together since our teenage years and he decided one night he needed some time to think, his words. The same weekend I met you was when it all happened.”

Darren sat quietly and soaked up the information. “And how does that make you feel?”

“
Honestly?” Faith sighed. “Confused. I don’t know what to think or feel. One minute I’m planning our family vacation; the next, I’m a single mother trying to balance everything. Dating was and
is
the last thing on my mind. It’s not fair to you to expect a relationship from me when I don’t know what’s going on in my marriage.”

“
I appreciate your honesty and candor, Faith,” Darren softly rubbed her hand with his thumb. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through and I’m sorry you’re going through it. I’m not going to lie, here, Faith. I would love to date you and I feel something between us. But I also respect what you’re going through and that you need some time to yourself.”

“
Thank you, Darren,” she gave a weak smile, “I would love to be your girlfriend, really I would. But I’m not divorced yet and honestly, I don’t know when I will be. I can’t be your girlfriend while I’m still legally married.”

“
I understand,” Darren leaned over and gave Faith a bear hug and rubbed her back, “I would still love to be a part of your life, if that’s okay?”

“
I wouldn’t want it any other way, Darren.” She finally let go of him and got off the couch. She walked over to the windows and stared out into the New York skyline. “I don’t want to lead you on when there are so many other girls you can give your time to.”

“
Quality over quantity, Faith.” Darren’s baritone echoed from the sofa. “I would rather spend time with one quality woman than a bunch of birds flocking to me.”

“
All of the guys say that,” Faith smiled.

“
Maybe,” Darren walked over to Faith and wrapped his arms around her, “but I’m not all of the guys.”

Damn, he felt like heaven. Darren felt real good. He smelled like musk combined with some woodsy scent. His muscular build completely enveloped her petite frame.
Steady, Faye… steady.
She had to remind herself to breathe. It was her intention to tell Darren they could only be friends and nothing more, yet the fluttering inside her belly was signaling her to reconsider. “That, you are not.”

Darren pulled his would-be paramour’s face closer to his and kissed her. Hot. Heavy. Sexual. She tasted like honey and sweet wine and Darren already craved more. If Faith just wanted a friendship from him, he would have to remind her of what she would be missing. “Whenever you want to see me, I’m just a phone call away.”

Faith’s mind was spinning and she took a couple of quiet breaths to ease back into reality. It seemed time stood still between them and they were the only ones on Earth. They had long straddled the fine line between being friends and being potential lovers, with neither daring to cross that proverbial line. But Faith knew, as well as Darren, they couldn’t be anything more than just friends—not with her marriage to Eli still up in the air. “I can’t be your girlfriend, Darren.”

Darren touched heads with Faith, while his fingers softly caressed her lips. They were so soft and moist and he already imagined how they would feel on his cock. “I understand.”

Faith began to squirm beneath Darren. Her sex began to contract with the hottest desire for him and she wanted nothing more to feel him inside her throughout the night. “I can’t promise you commitment or anything. I’m still very much married.”

Darren slowly rocked Faith side to side. “I understand.”

“
So… so…” Faith couldn’t put words together. “…so why aren’t you believing me?”

“
Because…” Darren picked Faith up and carried her back to the bedroom. “…you don’t believe you.”

It seemed one piece of clothing was removed. Then another. Then another. It seemed like she was in another world, in another medium looking in on what was occurring.

They stood in his bedroom, bodies pressed against each other and staring into each other’s eyes. The only sounds in the apartment were the creaks, gentle tick-tocks of the clock, and their breathing. They both knew how monumental the moment was. They both knew nothing was going to be the same between them again. Whatever happened between them that night was going to be everything.