Where I Wanna Be (51 page)

“
I never thought I would see you in here,” a man sat beside Eli.

Eli slightly shook his head and turned to the man next to him. “Good Evening, Pop.”

“
You look distressed, boy,” Giorgio D’Amato addressed his son, “wanna tell me what’s going on?”

“
I doubt you would help,” Eli took another sip of his drink, “I
really
doubt you would help.”

Giorgio held his hands up in defense and motioned to the bartender for a drink. Eli had located his father several years ago and the pair kept a distant relationship with each other on the condition Giorgio didn’t try to ask for money or any other services from Eli. He also had to leave Nicola and his other sons alone, since they were still very angry with him. “I’ll have what he’s having. Thank you.” A small silence passed between the men before Giorgio spoke again. “Faith?”

“
I tried my whole life not to be like you and I ended up being
just
like you.” The fact burned a hole in Eli’s heart. “They say the grass is greener but no one ever tells how fucking expensive that water bill is. I can never go back.”

“
Do you want to go back?” Giorgio thanked the bartender for the drink.

Eli stared out into a blank space. “I don’t know if I can.”

“
That’s not what I asked,” Giorgio pressed, “do you
want
to go back?”

Eli remembered when he saw how active Nathan was on the playing field, running around with the other kids. He felt awful that he only saw it from a distance. “More than anything.”

Giorgio took a sip of his drink and let the cool amber liquid ease down his throat, warming up his chest. He lit a cigarette and puffed on it a couple of times before he spoke again. “Let me tell you a story, boy. It’s about a man, just like you. He had a wife and a family. He had a good job and did a lot for the community. But he was bored. It felt like he went to work to escape his home life. There were many kids and they seemed to come out of nowhere every year. The wife was always knocked up. Then one day he met a beautiful woman, a just gorgeous girl at his job. They hit off immediately.

“
Whenever they could, they fucked everywhere. In the car during lunch. In the stockroom on breaks. Behind the building after-hours. The new girl gave the man everything he thought he wanted—life, passion, excitement, fulfillment. She said he could have more only on the condition he left his wife and kids, so he did. Left one day and never came back. He didn’t check on the kids because the wife comes from a big family and they can handle it; he didn’t need to be there.

“
Over the years, the man realized how good he’d had it with his wife and kids. The wife pressed his clothes. The wife prepared his meals. His wife made sure the house was clean. His kids always greeted him with hugs and stories about their day whenever he came home from work. He and the oldest boys always played catch on the weekends. The wife took care of the kids. The new chick? She didn’t do half the shit the wife did. Hell, the new girl didn’t do even a quarter of the shit the wife did. And the new chick didn’t want any children. Eventually, the man started cheating on the new girl with another piece, and the cycle continued because he’s trying to replace what he left—what he should have never left.

“
One day, the man saw his former wife and kids on the television and newspapers. He hadn’t seen them in years and they’re all grown. He reaches out to them, in hopes to having a reconciliation. He’s met with disgust, anger, and hurt. The oldest called him a sperm donor. The second refused to acknowledge his existence and the other kids reacted in similar ways. The wife told him to never call again and changed her number the next day. The man’s one decision he’d made years before left deep wounds; wounds so deep it would take a lifetime and a half to fix.”

Giorgio placed a hand on Eli’s arm and turned to him. His eyes were filled with tears. “Don’t make the same mistake I made, boy. I’m going to have to live the rest of my life knowing I can never have my family back and it burns a hole so deep in me, it’s unbearable sometimes. If I could take back what I did, I would in a heartbeat.”

Eli stifled his tears. He appreciated his father’s honesty but he was angry. For years his father purposely stayed out of the picture for his own selfish reasons, not thinking about the impact it would have on Eli and his brothers. “Mother waited for your phone call for
years
, man.
Years!
She would’ve taken you back if you just called! Do you know how it feels being called a
bastard baby
in school? Do you have any idea of what we went through? Do you have any
inkling
how all of us struggled when you up and disappeared? You sent no money, you didn’t even write a fucking letter! We all assumed you were dead until you conveniently showed up after mom won the lottery. Your sob story now doesn’t erase a lifetime of bullshit, Giorgio.”

“
I’m not asking for forgiveness because I know I won’t get it,” Giorgio calmly stated, “I’m telling this story so you could understand what your wife is feeling, what your son is feeling. What’s more important—you forgiving me or reconciling with your family?”

Eli calmly sipped his cognac. He hated to admit his father was right. He needed to fight for his family and reconcile with them. He would have to end things with Simone and fight to get Faith’s love and attention away from Darren. Eli felt his stomach twist into tightly-wound coils. “She’s never going to forgive me.”

“
I thought the same thing about your mother,” Giorgio took another sip of his drink, “and look how that turned out?”

Eli knocked back his drink and stood up. He placed money on the bar, paying his and his father’s drinks. He started to leave but then turned back. “All of those events we did. The football games, the track meets, our graduations… were you at any of them?”

Giorgio let out a small sigh and slowly sipped his drink. “I went to all of them.”

It was a long, yet successful day.

Simone barely managed to make it to her front door, her feet barking from walking in heels all day, her face tired from wearing a plastic smile, her voice exhausted from sounding so upbeat and chipper. The pain she subjected her body to was worth it at the end—she gave away almost all of her goodie bags and several brides signed up for consultations, with many more signing contracts with her on the spot. The hustle and bustle of event planning paid off. All she wanted was to open a bottle of wine and get as wasted as possible.

She took off her heels and sank her toes into the plush carpet of her apartment while she slowly began to undress, discarding each piece of clothing throughout the home. She finally made it to her bedroom and collapsed face first on the bed. “Uhhhhhh….” She groaned. Her queen sized bed enveloped her body and Simone didn’t want to venture from that position anytime soon.

Her cell phone rang and she immediately recognized it as Eli’s ring tone. Normally, she would’ve hurried to her phone, anxious to hear his voice and spend her evening trying to convince him to come over and cuddle—their codename for hot, animalistic sex.

Simone didn’t want to be bothered by Eli or any of the D’Amatos that night. The more she thought about her conversation with Eli, the angrier it made her, making her blood bubble to the point of explosion. It was another reason why her mouth was extra tired—she had to try really hard to keep that grin on her face at all times or people would see the scowl she was hiding.

It wasn’t just Nicola choosing another event-planning company that bothered Simone. It was the confrontation she’d had with Faith. It was
everything
that had to do with Eli. He refused to bring her around his family. He refused to have her meet his friends. She already knew what his answer was going to be when she wanted to meet Nathan. With Thanksgiving rapidly approaching, Simone knew she was better off going back to Houston than to entertain any thoughts of being with Eli and his family on that day.

Simone wasn’t Eli’s girlfriend. She was his plaything. Good enough to fuck in private but not good enough to be seen with in public.

They never went out to dinner. Simone couldn’t even recall the last time they went out for ice cream. But after he went out to Happy Hour with his brothers or employees, Eli was at her house or she was with him at his place. They saw each other several times a week, spending the night at each other’s respective homes except for when Eli had Nathan. Simone understood that Eli didn’t want to confuse his son and she agreed. She tried to brush it off and excuse his behavior on his impending divorce and crazy holiday schedule.
But there’s no divorce or even a talk of one.

Ashamed. That was the word she was looking for. Eli was ashamed of her, being with her, and quite possibly, having sex with her. Did he love her? She honestly couldn’t answer that. She knew he definitely did love
screwing
her and that was evident by each tryst they’ve had.

A soft knocking on her front door indicated a surprise visitor. “Uhhhhh….” Simone groaned. It was probably a neighbor asking for a cup of sugar or solicitor trying to get her buy magazines so they could go on a trip. She ignored the knocking, hoping the person would take the hint and leave. A minute later, the knocking came back and Simone sat up in bed, her eyes blinded by the sudden invasion of light. “Damnit! What is it? Don’t people know I’m trying to rest here?” She threw on a robe and gathered her hair into a loose bun. Whoever it was, she was going to simply tell them she either ran out—supplies or money, they could take their pick.

She looked through the peephole and was surprised to see Eli behind it. He was holding a bottle of champagne in one hand and what looked like a package of food in the other. It just occurred to Simone she was famished and nothing in her kitchen sounded good. She let out a breath and wondered if she should open the door for the man she loved and loathed at the same time. Knowing Eli, he would wait all night for her until she opened her door. He knew at some point, she would have to leave her house.

She undid the locks and opened the door for him.
Damn.
He smelled like heaven and looked like sex. A shirt clung to his chest; outlining the taut abs it was hiding. His jeans hugged his waist and when Simone finally met eyes with Eli, he simply flashed his schoolboy smile. At his feet was a custom floral arrangement just for her and any anger Simone had for Eli flew out the door.

Eli was good, he was really good.

“
Can I come in?” He quietly asked. Simone remained silent and stepped aside letting him in. She watched in silence as he placed the food and champagne on the table and went back to the front door to hand her the floral arrangement. It was large and filled with various colors of roses, mostly red.

Eli plucked a single rose from the arrangement and handed it to his girlfriend. It was no mistake he chose that particular rose—it had her name embossed on it in black lettering.
My Sweet Moni
, it read.

“
I disrespected you, yet, you’re the one apologizing to me?” Simone sniffed the rose.

“
I’m not going to lie, Moni. I was heated. I was
really
heated after that text and our phone call. It took me all day to calm down.” Eli ran a hand through his hair. “But then I realized I had some explaining of my own to do, and a phone call or text conversation just wouldn’t cut it.”

“
Well, you brought dinner and champagne,” Simone glanced back to the dining table while she sniffed the rose, “and the beautiful bouquet. Either you’re trying to sweet-talk me or you’re trying to get into my pants?”