Where I Wanna Be (52 page)

Eli stepped closed to Simone and snaked an arm around her waist. “Maybe I’m trying to sweet talk my way into your pants?” He murmured against her neck.

Simone felt the fire rise in her belly and her sex softly contract in response. But as much as she wanted Eli at the moment, she also needed to feed her stomach. She nudged him away. “Dinner, conversation, and depending on what I hear, maybe sex.”

“
Maybe?” He challenged, with a twinkle in his eye. “I never heard a maybe from you before.”

It was true. Simone never had a reason to tell Eli
maybe
or even
no
since they’d been together. She had always said
yes
to him and she was beginning to think that was her problem. Instead of making Eli chase her; he had come to expect it to be placed in front of him, willingly, openly, and all the time.
If I never had to beg for it, why would I fight for it?

Simone put the rose on the counter and led her boyfriend to the table. “Dinner and conversation, first.” She sat down at the table and watched Eli prepare their plates. He opened the bottle of champagne and poured her a glass.

“
I’m sorry for calling your mother a bitch. It was wrong of me and completely out of line. I said that out of frustration and not of anything against her personally.” Simone extended the olive branch. “I hope you can forgive me.”

“
Forgiven,” Eli nodded, “I know my mother choosing another planner was a surprise and to be honest, I was surprised she did that. But it wasn’t a direct dig at you…”

“
Yes, it was.” Simone interjected. “You can believe all you want that it wasn’t but we both know the truth that it was.”

Eli couldn’t argue with Simone’s point. His mother knew exactly what she was doing. Having Simone plan her wedding would have lifted Simone’s profile above and beyond the many other dime-a-dozen New York event planners and given her business a much-needed boost. Nicola not choosing Simone was a giant
Fuck You
and she made it loud and clear. “Well, what’s done is done and there’s nothing we can do about it other than move on.”

“
Which is another reason why we should talk tonight,” Simone took a bite of food and slowly chewed it, “so there’s no confusion on what one is expecting from the other.”

Eli could tell Simone’s temperament changed from warm to almost ice cold. The woman who was willing to get down on her knees to service him in the kitchen was replaced with a calculating ice princess. He already knew what was on Simone’s mind before she said it. It was the same argument she had brought up time and time again. It was the same argument he had shot down time and time again. “I can’t promise you when I’m going to divorce my wife,” he admitted.

“
You can’t promise me because you don’t
want
to.” Simone calmly sipped her champagne glass. “That’s pretty much the story. Tell me I’m wrong.”

Simone wasn’t wrong. She was on point. Every argument Simone had with Eli, she was the clear victor. She wanted answers and was frustrated by his response, Eli could admit to that much. But he didn’t know what the future held between him and Faith and didn’t want to promise anything to Simone without finalizing everything with Faith first. “Moni, I have explained to you I can’t just divorce Faith, yet,” Eli replied in a tone that was a cross between being factual and pleading, “I just don’t know what’s going on, yet. I wish you would see things my way.”

Simone took another bite of food and glared at her boyfriend. “So explain it to me.”

Eli met Simone’s glare. There was anger boiling in her amber eyes. Normally he would dismiss her complaints and change the subject but he could tell it wasn’t going to happen that night. She was determined to have that conversation with him, whether he wanted to or not. Eli had neither the time nor the desire to deal with Simone in this manner. “Why must every argument turn into something about Faith?”

“
Because every argument has something to do about your
wife¸
Eli. I heard you loud and clear,” she cut him off. “The reason you can’t promise me you’re going to divorce Faith is because you don’t
want
to divorce Faith. Simple as that. You want your good-girl wife at home and your whore to fuck on the side. The problem was you got caught. All this time you’ve been telling me I’ve been irrational, unfair, impatient, and ridiculous and all along, it was you. Let’s face it, Eli. I’m not your girlfriend; I’m your
mistress
. And if you have it your way, it’ll be like that for the rest of your life. Can I ask you something? Do you even love me? Are you still in love with Faith?” Eli’s silence was deafening and Simone got the answer she suspected was true. She pushed the plate aside and stood up. “Thanks for the roses and dinner. You can see yourself out.”

Eli remained at the dining room table as Simone went back to her bedroom. Moments later, he heard the door slam shut and the sound of glass shattering. He took a few more bites of his dinner and finished his champagne flute. He wiped his mouth and stared into an empty space.

Simone was right; he didn’t love her. He loved the way she made him
feel
. She was more than a late night booty call, though. She had class. She was sophisticated. She could be the lady in public and his whore in private, playing both roles to perfection.

Was she wife material? She was—for someone else.

He was still in love with Faith and with news of her burgeoning relationship with Darren, it made Eli that much more determined to make things right with Faith. A part of it was his jealousy, he could admit that. A big part of it was he realized how badly he’d messed up and wanted a second chance before it was too late.

He was stringing Simone along. He made her believe something more was going to happen between them when that was never his intention. His high-school dick was playing grown man games with another woman’s heart and mind. It wasn’t fair to Simone. It wasn’t fair to Faith. Most importantly, it wasn’t fair to Nathan, who depended on his father to be his role model.

Eli poured another glass of champagne and quickly finished it. He needed to break up with Simone. He needed to come clean with her and hope the damage wouldn’t be too much. If she hated him for the rest of her life, that would be a small price to pay.

He walked back to Simone’s bedroom and heard the muffled cries through the door.
Fuck.
Eli let out another sigh and closed his eyes. If Simone was angry, it would be easier for him to deal with. She was heartbroken and he was the reason behind it. He didn’t want to break her heart, especially after all he sacrificed just to be with her.

You see, you thought your actions were only going to affect you and no one else, right? That’s where you messed up.
Faith’s words were on repeat in Eli’s brain and he couldn’t turn them off. He hated that he was caught up in a mess that affected everyone around him—his family, his mother, his son, and his wife, who didn’t deserve any of the mess Eli put her through. He needed to clean it up and do it quickly. Simone was going to be the sacrificial lamb.

Eli slowly opened the door to her bedroom and Simone immediately turned away from him so he wouldn’t have to see her tears. Eli sat down on the bed and watched her feverishly try to wipe tears away with her hands. Her makeup was ruined and small black streaks streamed down her cheeks.

“
Moni, look…” Eli began but she held a finger up and waved it while she sniffled.

“
I don’t want to hear it, Eli. You made your choice and that’s that. You can see your way out.” She sniffled again. “We’re done.”

They were done, all right. With the argument and their relationship. Their fantasy high school reunion turned into a disaster. Simone loved him and loathed him, though Eli was pretty sure she hated him with all she had at the moment. Eli couldn’t bear the thought of Simone hating him for the rest of her natural born life, especially when everything was his fault. He had to make things right between them.

Eli swallowed his emotions and slipped off his shoes. He then joined Simone on the bed and snuggled with her. “I’m sorry, Moni.” He pressed her body tight on his body. “I’m really sorry.”

“
I loved you more than you loved me,” Simone’s words were barely audible through her pain-stricken voice, “you used me, Eli. You used me!”

It was the truth and Eli couldn’t deny it. He did use Simone and played her from the start. She tried to break off the affair many times and he still pursued her until he had her. But when he finally got her, he didn’t know what to do with her and almost seemed annoyed by her presence and all she did was say hello.

Everything was his fault and she was being unfairly punished for it.

“
Come here,” Eli nudged her to turn around and Simone shook her head. He continued to pull on her waist and Simone reluctantly turned around. She didn’t look up at him and her crying slowly subsided. Eli lifted her chin up, forcing Simone to open her eyes and look at Eli. He read the hurt in her eyes and the acceptance that everything was done and over between them. They both knew this was going to be the last time they not only would be together, but see each other. Simone would probably have Pepper handle the SHE account at Madre’s and Simone would steer clear of Eli if they happened to be doing the same event. It would be as if they were complete strangers.

Eli’s free hand wandered to Simone’s belt on her robe and he slowly undid it. Underneath her silk robe was a matching lace bra and panty set. Her nipples hardened when the cool air hit them. He thumbed over a taut nipple through the bra and felt his mouth water for a taste. He then slid his hand down her waist, and stopped at the beginning of the vee between her thighs.

Simone wouldn’t budge. Normally her legs would’ve parted and they both would’ve began the shuffling of clothes removal and playing with position to do first. Instead, Eli had a roadblock. Simone parting her legs almost meant giving him her heart and she couldn’t risk doing that again.

“
Moni,” he buried his face along the hollow of her neck and kissed it, “I can’t promise you forever. I can only promise you tonight.”

Simone threw her head back for easier access. She closed her eyes as Eli’s lips and tongue once again assaulted her body. Her mouth involuntarily made sounds, signaling her approval and she tightened her lips. No, he was not going to do this to her. He was not going to fuck and run. If it was going to be their last night together, it was going to be one for the books.

She pulled away from Eli and gazed into his hazel eyes. “If this is it, it needs to be
it
. Make it good.”

Eli pulled off his shirt and rolled on top of Simone. “It was never my intention to hurt you, Moni and I’m sorry.”

He finally apologized and that was all Simone needed to hear. “Shhh…” She lightly shook her head. “…let’s not talk about the past anymore. I just want this. Give this to me.”

Eli silently nodded and slid his body down Simone’s, kissing her collarbone, then the space between her breasts, past her waist and finally at the beginning of her panties. He slowly pulled them down and tossed them in a corner before he dived into her nectar. She was bare and smooth, the result of a wax job. He spread her folds apart and lightly licked the swollen nub that peeked out. His tongue gave her long swirling strokes, alternating between her tight heat and her engorged clit.

Simone’s body reacted to Eli’s tongue, wanting to ride it, savor it forever. Her body moved like an ocean wave, anxious to feel more of his quick tongue, and not wanting to let him go. She grabbed her breasts and pinched the nipples through the bra, eventually freeing them when she pulled down the lacy fabric.