Where My Heart Breaks (16 page)

Reed stepped closer to me. “Let’s go. We don’t want to waste any more daylight.”

I waved halfhearted at Sam. Then I turned back around so that I didn’t have to watch the expression that crossed his face when he realized that I was going to leave with Reed. Reed opened the truck door for me, and I got in. We rode in silence for several long minutes.

“So are you going to go out with that guy?” Reed broke the silence with the question that I didn’t want to answer.

“Wednesday,” I said.
 

“I see.”

I let the silence go on for another few minutes. Then I felt the anger bubbling up inside. Why did he care? There was only one reason that made sense. “I wouldn’t be going out with him if someone else had asked me out.”

“Sam’s a good guy,” Reed said. It came out like a low growl.
 

Letting out a long sigh, I looked out the window. It wasn’t quite time to push him yet. I had to bide my time and wait. I needed a safer topic.

“What made you decide to focus on Walter Moolen’s book for your thesis? It seems like an unusual topic.”
 

I hadn’t thought it was possible for Reed to look unhappier, but I was wrong.
 

“I had a friend in high school who was obsessed with that book since we were kids. She drove everybody crazy reciting passages constantly. I think she went through five or six copies because she reread it all the time. She probably knew more about that story than Walter Moolen.”

“So she inspired you to use the book as your thesis?” I wondered about a girl who would have that much power over Reed. He didn’t seem easily influenced.

Reed continued as if he hadn’t even heard my question. “Once, senior year, she twisted my arm to get me to drive her to Charlotte for one of Moolen’s book signings. This was right before he died and the book became really well-known. When we got to the front of the line, she couldn’t even speak. I knew she had a laundry list of questions she wanted to ask him, but standing there in front of him, she froze. So I asked him the questions for her. I got three in before a store employee asked us to move out of the way.”

“That was really cool of you to do.” Even in high school, it sounded as if Reed was different from the average guy.
 

“Moolen looked at me and then looked at Izzy, and told me that, in his head, he pictured Jackson and Camilla looking just like us.”

I froze. “Izzy?”

“Isabelle Blake. In school, from the time we were in kindergarten, I always sat next to her when the teachers assigned seats alphabetically. I called her Izzy.”

Isabelle. That was the girl that Patrice and Sam mentioned when I eavesdropped on their conversation.
 

Reed continued on, unaware that I was trying to fit the puzzle pieces together in my mind.
 

“You could say that meeting Walter Moolen that night and hearing him talk about the summer he spent in Bleckerville had an effect on me.”

I had to ask, even though it seemed obvious that Reed’s story didn’t have a happy ending. “So where’s Isabelle now?”

“She’s dead.”

The words hung in the air between us. I saw the pain on Reed’s face, and I didn’t hesitate. I slid across the seat and put my arms around his shoulders. I felt him tense, and then his muscles relaxed. He put his arm around my waist and I moved in closer, squeezing him tightly. Then I put my cheek against his chest.

“I’m sorry.”

His arm pulled me closer to him. We didn’t move for a long time.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

The highway climbed upwards, and I could feel the slight change in altitude affecting my ears. I remembered from the map that Reed and I reviewed the night at the café showed Grossler’s Point nestled in the foothills of the mountains. Despite its name, it wasn’t the top of a bluff, which is what I expected. Grossler’s Point was actually a rocky outcropping that overlooked a lake. In Walter Moolen’s book, the lake was a secret to outsiders and only known to the people who lived in the area.
 

Reed told me that there were only two lakes in the county, and the locals called them the twins. I saw why once Reed turned the truck off the highway onto the gravel road that led to the lake. As the trees opened up, exposing the lake’s shoreline, I immediately thought that it looked identical to the lake at the Willoughby.

The road ended in a small dirt parking lot, and Reed cut the engine. I was still pressed against his side, unwilling to move away from his warm body despite the heat outside.
 

“You ready for this?”
 

It was the same question he had asked me at the town hall, but now it seemed to carry a different meaning. Was he talking about seeing Grossler’s Point and standing on the same spot where Jackson lost Camilla forever? Or was it an insinuation that he was finally going to admit that there was something going on between us?
 

“I’m ready for anything.”
 

Something shifted between us on the ride to Grossler’s Point. I couldn’t be the only one who felt it. I refused to believe that, but I would let Reed get comfortable with the idea. I wasn’t going to push him. Not yet.

He popped open his door and then turned. It made sense for me to get out his side considering I was already halfway there. I leaned over and then Reed surprised me when he reached up and put his hands on my waist. I grasped the tops of his arms and let him pull me out of the cab. He set me gently on the ground. When I got there, he didn’t let me go. Instead, he stared down at me with an intensity that made me flush with warmth and desire. He looked as if he wanted to devour me, but I could see by the set of his jaw that the thoughts rolling through his mind were troubling him.

“Do I have something in my teeth?” I thought the moment could use a little humor, but my voice came out rushed and breathless.
 

Reed shook his head slowly. His fingertips brushed across my cheek, and his thumb settled on my lips. The pad slid across my upper lip, and I couldn’t stop myself from parting my lips and letting the tip of his thumb into my mouth. I ran my tongue across the pad, and Reed’s eyes fluttered and he groaned. I felt an immediate rush of power.

I sucked the digit further into my mouth and slowly lapped it. He moved it so that it danced with my tongue, and I felt my hips gyrate in the same circular motion as my tongue. Then Reed’s eyes flew open, and he stared at my mouth watching me suck and nibble with an eagerness that hopefully told him there were other parts of him that I wanted to taste as well.

His thumb flew out of my mouth and was replaced by Reed’s lips, and the movement caused me to take a step backwards, hitting my butt against the truck. Reed wasn’t letting me escape though as his hands tucked around my backside and pulled me into him. I melted against him. I met each thrust of his tongue, and I couldn’t hold back the low moans of pleasure that formed in the back of my throat urging him on. I felt the surge of his emotions in his kiss. Loss, anger, and loneliness. I wanted to wipe all of that away. That is what I tried to say back in my kiss in response, and I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him ravage the inside of my mouth.
 

When his lips finally released mine, my breath came in short gasps. A small smile of satisfaction crossed his lips, and I was relieved to see that it didn’t appear as if he were about to run away again. “Ready for a little hike?”

I was ready for something else entirely, but I could be patient. I basked in the fact that I was with Reed and that he looked at ease and relaxed despite the fact that we were just lip locked in a much friendlier way than he said he wanted. I wasn’t complaining one bit.

I didn’t quite trust my voice or my ability to walk at the moment, so I nodded instead. Reed reached into the truck bed, and I had my second surprise of the evening. He pulled out a picnic basket, and then had to have seen the look on my face.

"It's not what it looks like," he said with a sheepish grin.

"What does it look like?" Two competing trains of thought ran through my mind.

"I'm not trying to recreate the scene from the book. I promise." He raised one hand with two fingers up in a scout's honor.

"Oh good, because I think at least a few people would take issue with me turning up dead." I realized as soon as the words were out of my mouth that my nonchalant quip struck the wrong chord with Reed. I didn't know what happened with his friend Isabelle, but it wasn't hard to figure out that it was bad. Leave it to me to say something dumb and throw a handful of salt on the wound. "I'm sorry. That was a really insensitive thing to say."

Reed avoided my eyes, but I could tell that he wanted to chuck the picnic basket back into the truck. "It's okay. I just figured you hadn't had dinner yet. It's a little bit of a hike to the point, but the view's worth it. It's quiet and secluded there, and so I thought we'd stay awhile."

It sounded like exactly the kind of place I'd like to stay with Reed awhile. "That sounds perfect. Do you need me to carry anything?"

Reed set the basket down and reached back into the truck bed again. The crisis seemed to be averted for the moment. Hopefully I'd be able to keep my mouth from saying any other idiotic thing running around in my brain and it would stay that way. Two blankets appeared in Reed's hands, and he offered them to me. I grew more intrigued with this interlude by the minute.

He led the way from the parking lot to a small path. It was only wide enough to walk single file, so I followed behind him grateful that I decided on sneakers instead of my usual wedge sandals. Otherwise, there was a good chance I would have twisted an ankle, or worse.

"So I bet this spot is popular with the tourists," I said. "What about the locals?"

"Mostly just kids come out here," Reed said, his voice floating back to me as he ducked beneath a tree limb that seemed to appear out of nowhere. "It used to be a favorite swimming hole, but that was shot to hell once the book came out. It's quieter now, but you never know when a caravan of cars is going to show up and disrupt the peace, so most people still stay away."

Damn. I was hoping that Reed's intentions were to take advantage of the secluded spot that held such dramatic romance and tragedy all in one. But if people popped up unannounced all the time, that seemed less likely to be his plan. I kept forgetting that all along it was supposed to be my plan. For some reason, I was holding out hope that Reed would get over whatever conflicted sentiment he had about getting close to me and just let me in. I wasn’t afraid of him or his past, which I thought was causing his issue. I wanted the chance to prove him wrong.

"I didn't see any other cars in the parking lot," I said hopefully.

"Probably less likely to run into anyone out here on a Sunday night, but you never know. The diehards will come no matter what time of day it is."

"You sound as if you're speaking from experience." I did wonder how many girls Reed brought there. It seemed like the perfect place for a seduction, especially if you added the allure of Moolen's story on top of it. I had to give Moolen credit, for a guy he wrote a hell of a love story.
 

"There's a lot that people assume about me," Reed replied. He sounded sad.

I was going to reach out to stop him when the path suddenly opened up to the blue afternoon sky, and I gaped. The scene before me was incredible. About a hundred yards ahead of me, a tall rock wall climbed toward the sky, and I had to crane my neck to see the top. Off to my left, the bubbling water made its way out to the lake that ran beneath the bluff. I could barely see the dots of houses, spaced far apart, on the other side of the lake.

It was exactly like the image that Walter Moolen painted in the book, but it was so much more. In my mind, I could see Jackson walking down the same path with his picnic basket, and then finding Camilla, the love of his life, standing there at the water's edge staring into the sunset. Jackson intended to eventually tell her that they couldn't be together, but seeing her profile lit up by the setting sun, he realized that he would never see a more beautiful sight in his entire life. He couldn't let her go. He had to make her his forever, no matter what it cost in terms of his fortune or reputation.

"What do you think?" Reed's words broke through, and the phantom figures that I envisioned before me disappeared.

"I can see why he used this location in the book," I said in a hushed tone. "It is exquisite."

Reed's hand settled on my elbow, and he pulled me to him. We stood toe to toe as he stared down into my eyes, pining my soul deep within me. "You are exquisite."

I felt the blossom of heat across my cheeks. "I'm not anything. Just a girl who is trying to make up for some really bad decisions."

He swept a piece of my hair back behind my ear. The gentle touch made me want more. I would take whatever he would give me. I told myself that I didn't care if he broke my heart. I wanted him so badly that I had to bite my tongue from saying something stupid that would give my feelings away. If he knew the depth of my longing for him, he'd run the other way as fast as he could. After watching him do it twice already, I knew that I had to take it slow and let it develop on its own.

"They really did a number on you, didn't they?"

"Who?" His question confused me.

"Your parents. That guy. Your aunt. That school. Probably your friends too. Somewhere along the way, you've been convinced that you are broken and unworthy. They obviously don't see what I see."

His eyes pierced mine, and I felt my breath catch in my throat. I couldn't remember ever having anyone look at me the way that Reed was looking at me in that moment. It was as if he could read the very core of my soul. I felt naked and vulnerable beneath that stare. If he rejected me now, I didn't know how I'd manage to get up in the morning and ever try to pretend it didn't happen. He saw me. I knew it without a doubt.

"What do you see?" I wanted to hear the words out loud so that there was no mistake. Once given a voice, then he couldn't pretend that there wasn't something between us. Something that was too strong and powerful to deny.