Where My Heart Breaks (20 page)

A pair of canvas tennis shoes completed my simple ensemble. I slipped out into the hallway and mentally prepared myself for the day ahead. As I reached the top of the stairs, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I paused to pull it out, and felt a new rush of conflicting emotions when I saw that it was a text from Reed.

We have unfinished business.

Boy did we ever. I stopped my fingers from typing a response. My mother was exceedingly clear when it came to Reed. No social contact whatsoever. I could try to sneak behind Patrice’s back, but if I got caught, she’d tell on me without hesitation and then I’d lose everything. Millie might be able to help me concoct some excuse that would give me the breathing room I’d need to meet him, but then what? I’d be right back at square one, and if there was even the remotest possibility that he’d tell me that I was more than a fling to him, I think I’d shatter and break apart. I wouldn’t be able to stay away from him. My heart wouldn’t let me.

I stood at a crossroads. If I responded, if I saw him again and we were alone, there was a good chance I’d come undone. I’d throw everything I’d worked for all away for him in a heartbeat if he touched me the way he had the night before. I’d become the epitome of a lost cause in my mother’s eyes, and then when I woke up in three months and realized I had the cold hard gaze of my non-existent future staring me in the face, I could regret my decision.

Tears burned in my eyes as I stared at the phone display. With a lump in my throat, I deleted the message. Then I shoved the phone back into my pocket and started slowly to descend the stairs. For all I knew, Reed might be relieved at my sudden disappearance from his life. He had seemed confused and uncomfortable with the idea of what I represented to him, and this gave him an easy out. He could go back to being the guy that he pretended to be. I would be nothing more than another notch in his bedpost, but hopefully one that he’d look back on with fondness.

If I so wholeheartedly believed that though, why did it feel as if my insides were being ripped apart?
 

I arrived at the bottom of the steps and saw that there was no one behind the registration desk, which surprised me. I looked at my watch. It was almost nine o’clock. I heard the murmur of voices coming from the back of the house. The guests would be at breakfast, but I wondered where Patrice and Millie had gone. It wasn’t like Patrice to leave the front desk unmanned.

Then I caught a glimpse of blond hair outside and I moved to the door leading out to the backyard. I was surprised to see Patrice and Millie standing in the middle of the lush green grass staring back up at the house. Millie gestured wildly, her arms taking in all of the expansive lawn around them and then pointing at the lake. Patrice had her arms crossed, listening with narrowed eyes. I stepped out onto the patio, and Millie caught sight of me. She smiled and waved for me to join them.

I approached cautiously, choosing to focus on Millie instead of the woman beside her. Since I agreed with Reed’s assessment that we hadn’t done anything wrong, I was angry that Patrice took it upon herself to tattle on me to my mother. Everything was a mess again, and in my mind, it was Patrice’s fault. To add insult to injury, I was stuck under her thumb for the rest of the summer.

As I drew up to them, Millie’s voice got louder. “Kate! I was just talking to Patrice about opening up the Willoughby as a wedding venue to help drive more business. Everybody loves a wedding, don’t you agree?”

I wondered what Millie was up to. “Sure. More business is a good thing.” It seemed like a safe enough response. I didn’t have an opinion on that at all actually.

Unlike many women in the world, I wasn’t pining for that special day when I’d put my hand in the hand of the guy I decided to stick with for the rest of my life. I never played pretend wedding when I was a kid, and I ignored every conversation my friends had that involved the word.
 

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to get married someday. I wasn’t opposed to the idea. The whole production required for planning a wedding made my head explode. I didn’t understand spending a year of your life planning and tens of thousands of dollars on one day. I had decided long ago that if I ever tied the knot, I was going to elope. My mother would probably keel over from such an idea, which, in a way, made it all the more attractive.

“Your friend has some interesting ideas,” Patrice said. “We never offered wedding packages although we had considered it at one time. We do get several inquiries a week about them.”

That I did know. Since taking over responsibility of the reservation system and responding to email inquiries, I was the one fielding those requests. I hadn’t thought much of it when Patrice told me simply to thank the individual for their interest but letting them know the Willoughby did not host weddings on property. Wrapped up in absorbing all the new things coming at me, I never thought to ask why.

“This place is the perfect wedding venue for catering to small, intimate affairs,” Millie said excitedly. “You have to have the space for plan B if the weather doesn’t cooperate, but you’re already halfway there doing the small cocktail receptions.”

“Perhaps you and Kate can put a proposal together for me, and we’ll discuss it further. I’d like to see cost estimates and revenue projections,” Patrice said.

“Great! Sounds like fun,” Millie nodded. “Patrice said you’d show me around the property this morning and that you’d also take me into town and give me the grand tour.”

My mouth fell open. There was no way that Patrice would be letting me off the hook from work for something so frivolous as to be a tour guide for my best friend for the day.

“I’ll expect you back in time to work the dinner shift with Sam,” Patrice said. “I have an appointment this evening and so I’ll also need you to watch the front desk.”

I sensed another thinly disguised attempt to push me at Sam, but if I got the day off to spend with Millie, I wasn’t going to complain. For a moment, I wondered what kind of appointment would take Patrice away from the Willoughby, but then I remembered it wasn’t any of my business. I just never thought about Patrice having a life outside of it.

“I’ll make sure I’m back by four-thirty,” I said.
 

Patrice nodded and walked back toward the inn. She paused and looked back over her shoulder. “While you are out and about today, I do hope you’ll remember what your mother told you last night.” Then she continued on her way.

I felt as if I had been hit in the gut. It was a none-to-subtle reminder to stay away from Reed Black. I turned to find Millie watching me with a sad expression on her face.
 

“Chin up, Spivey. You may have lost the battle, but the war’s not over yet.”

“You’ve met my mother, right? She isn’t going to care about the rhyme or reason. If she catches wind that I even blinked in Reed’s direction from now on, she’ll yank her financial support for next year, and it’ll all be over. It’s too risky.”

“I can’t wait to meet this guy who has your undies all bunched up,” Millie said, slipping her arm through mine. “He must be something else.”

He was something else. Something dangerous to both my heart and my future. I had to stop thinking about him. Millie was supposed to distract me from Reed. So far, she wasn’t doing a great job of it.

“Reed is off limits. End of story. Let’s walk down to the beach. I could use a little sun.”

“We’ll figure something out. Together, we’re invincible,” Millie said, tugging on my sleeve.

I loved Millie’s optimism, but I wasn’t that naïve. Despite what she said, for me, the war in my heart was over before it had even begun. There wouldn’t be anything else between Reed and me this summer. She didn’t understand because she didn’t know Reed’s side of the story yet, and I was too chicken to push finding out what he was thinking could happen now. It was better for both of us this way.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

It was just before lunchtime when I finished showing off the Willoughby grounds to Millie. After sitting by the lake for over an hour listening to Millie’s summer adventures in avoiding Fredrick Malone III, I hesitantly began to share the story of Jackson and Camilla. Millie had never read
Where My Heart Breaks
either, and I tried to make sure that I didn’t tell enough of the story to ruin it for her if she ever did decide to read it.
 

I found myself enjoying the tour, and it occurred to me that maybe the Willoughby was starting to grow on me. Millie raved about how beautiful and peaceful the setting was and how she was glad to have a chance to spend time there. I wasn’t sure if she was being sincere or blowing smoke up my butt. Bleckerville, even with the addition of the Willoughby, couldn’t come close to competing with beach parties and clam bakes in the Hamptons, but I thought it was nice of her to say so nonetheless.

“Do you want to grab lunch in the dining room, or head into town?” I asked as we made our way back to the main house.

“We’ve only got a few hours left before you have to put on your work face, so let’s go into town,” Millie said.

“There aren’t a lot of options. Bleckerville isn’t exactly known for its fine dining,” I said. “I think the coffee shop where…where I went last week has sandwiches.” I caught myself before I said his name.
 

“So you’ve done an excellent job so far of avoiding any mention of the mystery man,” Millie noted. “Are we going to talk about him or not?”

“Or not,” I quipped. “Why bother? He’s not the guy my mother wants for me.”

“What do you want for you?” Millie asked.

I didn’t have a chance to reply because Sam appeared on the pathway in front of us. His eyes lit up when he saw me, and he waved a hand in a friendly greeting. I was relived to see that my disappearance with Reed the night before didn’t seem to affect his behavior toward me. I enjoyed his company, despite his obvious interest in me. Millie and I stopped as he walked up to us.

“Hey, Kate! I heard you had a friend visiting,” Sam said, nodding to Millie.

There were a lot of things to like about Sam, and I just noticed another one. He didn’t pause for one minute and let his eyes settle on Millie’s drop dead gorgeous physique. His gaze returned to me, and he wore a lopsided grin on his face.
 

“This is Millie,” I said. “She’s my roommate at school. Millie, this is Sam. He works with me.” I kept the introduction short and sweet.
 

Millie’s jaw was open. She held out a manicured hand. “Pleasure to meet you, Sam.”

My eyebrows rose at her husky tone. If there was a good looking, unmarried guy within ten feet of Millie, she didn’t pass up the chance to flirt. Usually I ignored it. It appeared to be part of her genetic make-up.

“Back at ya, Millie,”
 

Sam shook her hand but again I saw that he didn’t focus on her the way that most guys did. I was certain that Sam didn’t run into girls like Millie all the time, but his interest seemed strictly platonic. I had no doubt by Millie’s narrowed eyes that she noticed as well, and didn’t like it one bit. Millie wasn’t used to being brushed off by guys.

“Are you ladies coming in for lunch?” Sam asked.
 

“We’re headed into town,” Millie interjected before I could answer. “Maybe you should come with us.”

I gaped at her. She knew that I wasn’t interested in Sam the way that he was in me, and inviting him to lunch would do nothing but encourage that interest. She batted her eyelashes and smiled up at him. Millie was tall, but Sam still dwarfed her by a good three inches.

“Sorry, my shift just started,” Sam said.
 

“Do you know a good place you’d recommend for lunch then?” Millie asked.

Her flirtatious tone made me want to hurl.

“The Good Day Café on Baker St. is simple, but gets the job done,” Sam said. “My younger sister, Trina, is working there this summer. If you tell her you’re friends of mine, I bet she’d even give you a free piece of pie.”

“That sounds perfect,” Millie exclaimed.

I was pretty sure that Sam’s confused expression mirrored my own. Millie’s enthusiasm over a simple restaurant recommendation was a bit over the top.
 

“Well, I guess I’ll see you later,” Sam said, looking back at me.

I nodded. “Okay then. C’mon, Millie.”

I dragged my friend away before she could make an even bigger fool of herself.

“What the heck was that?” I asked as soon as we were out of earshot. “He isn’t your type at all, Millie.”

“Does that mean he’s your type?” Millie asked with a slow drawl.

I stopped short. “Is that what you were trying to do? Make me jealous?”

“Not at all. If I’m going to be hanging around for awhile, I wouldn’t mind having someone to hang out with.”

“You’d eat Sam up and spit him out. You’re way out of his league,” I said.

Millie sniffed. “Doesn’t matter anyway. He seems to be infatuated with someone else.”

I sighed. “I like Sam as a friend. He’s funny and smart. I liked his friends. I know that Patrice would love to see us as a couple, and maybe if I had met him first…” I refused to follow that thought to its logical conclusion.

“Don’t you have a date with him this week or something?” Now it was Millie’s turn to arch an eyebrow at me.

I smacked my head against my forehead. “I keep forgetting about that. I have to figure out a way to let him down easy.”

“Or, you allow yourself to consider him as a viable, acceptable alternative to Mr. Bad Boy,” she countered.

I stared at her. “Are you sure my mother didn’t send you?”

Millie rolled her eyes and threw her hands up. “You are nothing but a pile of contradictions these days. Occasionally, I see a glimmer of the strong willed, stubborn girl I met at freshman orientation. But since about a year ago, that girl has been replaced by a peevish, indecisive, weak, self-deprecating shrew.”

Her words stung, which I’m sure was her intention. “You always have a knack of kicking somebody when they’re down,” I said heatedly. “You don’t think I know that my life derailed with Trevor? You should know better than anyone that I’ve been doing everything possible to make it right since then.”