While We're Far Apart (24 page)

“Yeah!” Esther said. Peter smiled, too. He looked happier than he had in a long time. Then Penny interrupted.

“Um . . . Excuse me?” She stood in the living room doorway. “I’m done with the dishes and . . . and I guess I’ll head home now.”

Good. Daddy needed his bedroom back, so Penny would have to go home now. Esther wiggled out of Daddy’s arms. “I’ll go get your coat.” She jumped up to fetch it from the coat tree before Daddy could invite her to stay a little longer.

“Thanks again for the great dinner,” she heard Daddy say when she returned with it.

“You’re welcome . . . Um . . . When do you want me to come back?” Esther crossed her fingers, hoping Daddy wouldn’t invite her back at all while he was home on leave.

“Well . . . we need to talk about that.” Daddy struggled up from the sofa and led Penny into the dining room, out of earshot. They talked for only a minute before he returned and Penny went upstairs to pack. She had her coat on when she came down again and her clothes in two shopping bags.

“You want me to walk you to the bus stop?” Daddy asked. “It’s dark outside.”

“No, that’s okay. I’ll be fine. Well . . . good-bye.”

Esther held her breath until she heard the front door close, then she sagged in relief onto the sofa beside her father again.

“Penny looks different,” Daddy said. “Is it her hair?”

“She got it cut.” Esther didn’t want to talk about Penny, nor did she like it that Daddy had noticed the changes in her.

“Does she have a new boyfriend or something?”

Esther made a face. “A boyfriend? I don’t think so.”

Peter rapped his knuckles on the slate to get Esther’s attention, then held it up to show her what he’d written:
The man on the bus
.

“What man?” It took Esther a moment to figure out what Peter meant. “Oh yeah. She talks to a soldier on the bus all the time. They seem very friendly.”

Peter held up the slate again.
He’s a marine
.

“Good for Penny. That’s great, isn’t it?” Daddy asked. “She deserves to meet a nice fellow. Listen, I’ve been writing to Grandma Shaffer and telling her how unhappy you are, and she finally agreed to let you move in with her until I come home. Our apartment lease is up soon and – ”

“No!” Esther shouted.

“What’s wrong, doll?”

“I don’t want to move. This is our home.” If they moved, Esther couldn’t visit Mr. Mendel or take piano lessons with Miss Miller anymore. And Grandma’s house had no room for Mama’s piano. In fact, if they moved out of this apartment, all traces of Mama would be lost forever. The memories made Esther sad sometimes, but they were all she had left.

Daddy frowned at Esther. “I don’t understand. From the sound of your letters, I got the impression that you weren’t happy living here with Penny.”

“She’s okay. We want to live here, right, Peter?” He nodded his head vigorously.

“Then why are you always complaining about Penny in your letters?”

“I don’t know. But she’s not so bad. We want to stay here.”

“Listen, you need to make up your mind, Esther. Grandma is finally willing to help us out. And she says that Penny’s parents need help. They’re getting pretty old.”

“Why can’t Grandma come here? Then we wouldn’t have to go to a different school.”

“We’ve been through all of this before. There are too many stairs in our apartment. And Grandma can’t leave her pets. I wish you kids would make up your minds and not make this so hard for me. I’m doing my best to make you happy – and don’t tell me to quit the army. That’s not going to happen.”

“We don’t mind living with Penny. Right, Peter?”

He nodded in agreement.

Daddy sighed and tried to run his fingers through his hair, but it had been cut very short. “How about if you stayed with Grandma on the weekends from now on? It would give you and Penny a break from each other, and she would have time to help her parents or go to the movies with her boyfriend if she wanted to.”

At the mention of movies, Esther thought of Jacky Hoffman. She wouldn’t be able to go to a matinee with him again if she stayed with her grandmother every Saturday. “We don’t want to stay there every weekend. Just once in a while, okay?”

“Are you sure this time? Because once I make the arrangements, they can’t be undone. You can’t write and tell me you’ve changed your mind when I’m on the other side of the Atlantic, you know.”

“I know.”

“And it looks to me like Penny is doing a good job. The apartment looks great. You both look well fed. Are you happy with the way things are, Peter?”

He hesitated for a moment before nodding.

“Well, if you’re sure you want to stay here, I’ll talk to Mr. Mendel about renewing the lease. But you’ll have to stop complaining about Penny and learn to get along with her, understand?”

“We will.” Esther felt guilty for complaining about her, especially when she remembered how Penny had arranged for piano lessons. She wondered if her father knew about them.

“I have a surprise, Daddy,” she said, squirming to her feet again. “Sit right there and close your eyes. No peeking.”

“A surprise?” He smiled as Peter reached up to help cover his eyes. “Okay. They’re closed.”

Esther tiptoed to the piano and sat down, quietly lifting the lid. She found the piece she had been practicing for Miss Miller and began to play it, making the notes say everything she felt, the way Mama used to do – sad in the slow, mournful parts, and happy in the dancing, joyful parts. She ended with a soft
pianissimo
, then turned around, expecting to see Daddy smiling proudly. Instead, he looked stunned, white-faced.

“When did you start playing again?” he asked.

“A few weeks ago. I’ve been taking lessons.”

“Lessons?”

“From Miss Miller, the music teacher at school. Peter is taking them, too. Didn’t Penny tell you about it in her letters?”

“She never mentioned it.”

“I guess she wanted it to be a surprise. Want me to play another song for you?”

Daddy got up and crossed the room. He wrapped his arms around Esther and held her tightly for a long moment, then he let go and closed the lid to the keyboard. “I’m sorry, doll.” His voice sounded hoarse. “You played very well . . . but I . . . I’m just not ready to hear Mama’s piano yet.”

C
HAPTER 21

P
ENNY STUMBLED DOWN THE STAIRS
from Eddie’s apartment and ran to the bus stop as fast as she could in her wobbly new shoes. Her feet ached from wearing them all afternoon, walking to bus stops and along subway platforms and all over Grand Central Station in them. But the pain in her feet couldn’t compare with the hurt and disappointment in her heart. She needed to get as far away from Eddie’s apartment as possible.

When the bus arrived, she was glad that her friend Roy wasn’t on it. If she tried to speak, all of her sorrow and tears would spill out, and she wasn’t certain that she could ever stop them again.

Eddie had barely noticed her all evening. She had hoped that he would invite her to sit down with the family and visit for a while after she finished the dishes, but instead he had led her into the dining room away from the kids. Her heart had hopped around in her chest like a jumping bean at the nearness of him, the touch of his hand on her back. Was he going to ask her out on a real date?

“Listen,” he’d said softly. “I don’t want to put the kids through a big scene when it’s time for me to leave in a week. I’ll take them to my mother’s house next Sunday, and then I’d like to leave from there, by myself, if you don’t mind. Could you pick up the kids at my mother’s after I leave and bring them back here?”

“Sure, Eddie. Anything you want.” She had waited for him to say more, but he hadn’t. “Well, then . . .” she said, “I guess I’ll see you on Sunday?”

“Right. Thanks, Penny.”

Esther had been so eager to get rid of Penny that she had fetched her coat. Penny had hurried upstairs, grabbed a few of her clothes and toiletries, and fled to the bus stop. Eddie would be home for an entire week, and she wouldn’t even get to see him.

Penny used the mirror in her compact before arriving at her parents’ duplex to make sure her tears hadn’t left black trails down her face. She wiped off her rouge and the remnants of her lipstick, too.

“Hi, it’s me . . . I’m home,” she called as she let herself in through the kitchen door.

“More new clothes?” Mother asked the moment Penny walked into the living room. She had left Eddie’s apartment in such a hurry that she still wore the new suit and blouse she had bought for his homecoming. All for nothing. Fresh tears burned in her eyes, but she didn’t dare let them fall. Mother would ask too many questions.

“My old clothes looked pretty worn out,” she mumbled.

“What are you doing here on a weeknight?” Father asked.

“Eddie’s home on leave. He’s giving me a break from the kids for a week.”

“It’s about time.” He returned to his newspaper.

“How did you get here?” Mother asked.

“On the bus.”

“All alone? At night? It’s dark outside. What were you thinking?”

“It isn’t very far.”

Mother stared at Penny as if waiting for her to go back and undo her error. What would she say if she knew that Penny had gone all the way to Manhattan on the subway this afternoon? Or that she was learning to drive a bus?

“Listen, I’m really tired,” Penny said. “I think I’ll go straight to bed.”

But she didn’t sleep. After tossing around on her mattress until long after her parents had gone to bed, Penny got up and turned on her desk lamp. She found an old notebook left over from her high school years in one of the desk drawers and decided to use it like a diary, pouring out all of her heartache. An hour passed as she filled page after page with everything she longed to tell Eddie, declaring her love for him and her dreams for their future together. When she stopped to reread what she had written, she realized that Roy Fuller probably could use some of this to declare his feelings for Sally. Penny had been trying to help Roy, giving him ideas from time to time. One thing was certain, she would never say these words to Eddie, so her friend may as well make use of them.

Penny wouldn’t see Roy for an entire week because she could walk to work from her parents’ house. She would miss her morning conversations with him, but it was just as well. Roy would ask about her reunion with Eddie, and she probably would burst into tears.

After a short, sleepless night, Penny left for work the next day, carrying her uniform hidden in a paper bag. She would change into it in the ladies’ room so her parents wouldn’t have a conniption fit when they saw her in pants.

Her parents. They were another source of anxiety in her life, but she forced herself not to think about the adoption papers. She simply couldn’t worry about one more thing right now, especially something as upsetting as wondering who she really was and who her real parents might be. No, most of the time she was able to convince herself that one of the clerks in the records’ office must have made a mistake.

At least one thing in her life was going well these days – the drivers’ training. This morning Penny and the other students took turns maneuvering the bus through real traffic on real city streets, just as they had been doing for the past few days. Then after their lunch break, the instructor got behind the wheel and surprised them all by driving them to the Motor Vehicle Bureau.

“You’re here to take the test and get your drivers’ licenses,” he announced. “Right now. Today.” Penny felt her knees go weak.

“Now?” someone asked. “Why didn’t you warn us?”

“Because I knew you’d start fussing about it and get all worked up and you’d probably flunk. But you can all pass the test. You’re ready.”

Penny glanced at her friend Sheila. “I sure don’t feel ready,” she whispered.

“Besides,” the instructor continued, “don’t you girls know there’s a gasoline shortage in this country? How much longer do you want to drive around wasting gas? There’s a war on!”

His words made everyone laugh as they filed off the bus and into the building to take the written test. When all eight of them passed it, they lined up in alphabetical order to take the road test. Penny was so weary from tossing in bed all night and crying herself to sleep that she felt as if she were sleepwalking as she climbed behind the wheel. She did whatever the examiner told her to do – turning left and right, changing lanes, dodging cars, and slowing for pedestrians – while he sat in the seat behind her, taking notes on a clipboard.

“You passed, Miss Goodrich,” he told her when they returned to the Motor Vehicle Bureau. “Congratulations.”

Penny hugged her friend Sheila, who had also passed her driving test. They laughed and cried at the same time. All of the students returned to the bus station with their new licenses in hand, and the teacher herded them into their makeshift classroom for the last time.

“You’ll each be assigned to a training route for the remainder of the week with a licensed driver riding with you. Beginning on Monday, you’ll be assigned to a route of your own.”

Penny felt a little shiver of fear but also excitement. She couldn’t wait to tell Eddie about her accomplishment – although she would probably have to write to him and tell him in one of her letters. And she should probably tell her parents, too – but not yet. She didn’t know why she was afraid to tell them, but she was.

“Before you’re dismissed,” the instructor continued, “I would like to honor our top driving student, Miss Penny Goodrich.”

Penny stopped breathing, stunned by his words.

“Miss Goodrich didn’t miss a single question on any of her tests. And even more important, she was the only student who never hit a barrel during practice out back.”

She heard laughter and applause. Sheila patted her on the back. Penny opened her mouth but, like Peter, she couldn’t speak a single word.

“Great job,” the teacher told her, shaking her hand. “For a reward, you will get the first pick of the new bus routes. Once again, congratulations to all of you. Take the rest of the afternoon off, ladies. Class dismissed.”