Why Women Have Sex (50 page)

Special thanks to Times Books and Henry Holt and Company for bringing the voices of the women in this book to you, and to Robin Dennis, our editor, whose brilliant insight and magic pencil have been invaluable.

Friendships have always been the most important thing in life to me and I have many dear friends to be thankful for. Special appreciation to those who played a role in my writing this book: Sam Gosling, Jane Spencer, Dale Severyn, Laureen Miki, Lisa Timar, Linda Edworthy, and Lucia O’Sullivan. Super-duper thanks to writer extraordinaire Mary Roach for your encouragement and for all the times you made me laugh so hard my stomach hurt. Particular thanks to my coauthor, David Buss, whose collaboration and friendship have made this book, and the studies on which it is based, especially rewarding projects. For keeping me warm, helping me sleep, and distracting me from worry, I am hugely indebted to my cats Rudy and Mimi, and to my Maltipoo Charlie. Finally, Tom, for so many reasons and in so many ways I could not have written this book without you. Thank you—you are my anchor.

David M. Buss

Through more than two decades of conducting scientific research on the complexities of women’s sexual psychology, I have been greatly blessed
by the many brilliant women scientists who have collaborated with me on empirical studies: April Bleske-Rechek, Lisa Chiodo, Jaime Confer, Lisa Dedden, Judith Easton, Maryanne Fisher, Diana Santos Fleischman, Cari Goetz, Mary Gomes, Arlette Greer, Heidi Greiling, Mariko Hasegawa, Martie Haselton, Dolly Higgins, Sarah Hill, Sabine Hoier, Karen Lauterbach, Marguerite Lavallee, Cathrine Moestue, Carin Peril-loux, Elizabeth Pillsworth, Jennifer Semmelroth, Emily Stone, Viviana Weekes-Shackelford, Margarete Vollrath. Indeed, working with these coauthors made me realize that the limitations of my male brain absolutely necessitated collaborating with women in the scientific exploration of female sexual psychology.

I also express thanks to my many male research collaborators, who, although perhaps suffering from similar limitations due to possessing a Y chromosome, nonetheless made outstanding contributions: Alois Angleitner, Mike Barnes, Kevin Bennett, Mike Botwin, Bram Buunk, Jae Choe, Sean Conlan, Ken Craik, Todd DeKay, Josh Duntley, Bruce Ellis, Harald Euler, Steve Gangestad, Aaron Goetz, Joonghwan Jeon, Peter Jonason, Doug Kenrick, Lee Kirkpatrick, Barry Kuhle, Randy Larsen, Greg LeBlanc, David Lewis, Norm Li, Neil Malamuth, Will McKibben, Richard Michalski, Victor Oubaid, Jay Peters, Kern Reeve, David Schmitt, Todd Shackelford, Bill Tooke, Paul Vasey, Martin Voracek, and Drew Westen.

Many other friends and colleagues contributed in various ways, through discussions or through their published work, to deepening my understanding of women’s sexual minds: Richard Alexander, Rosalind Arden, Robin Baker, Jerry Barkow, Laura Betzig, Nancy Burley, Anne Campbell, Liz Cashdan, Leda Cosmides, Helena Cronin, Martin Daly, Laura Dane, Richard Dawkins, Mike Domjan, Kristina Durane, Bruce Ellis, A. J. Figueredo, Helen Fisher, Mark Flinn, Robin Fox, Robert Frank, David Frederick, Shirley Glass, Karl Grammer, Bill Hamilton, Heide Island, Doug Jones, Zigy Kaluzny, Bobbi Low, Janet Mann, Linda Mealey, Geoffrey Miller, Paul Mullen, Randy Nesse, Geoffrey Parker, John Patton, Steve Pinker, David Rakison, Catherine Salmon, Dev Singh, Barb Smuts, Beverly Spicer, Don Symons, Del Thiessen, Andy Thompson, Nancy Thornhill, Randy Thornhill, Lionel Tiger, Robert Trivers, Paul Turke, Bill von Hipple, Gregory White, George
Williams, D. S. Wilson, E. O. Wilson, Margo Wilson, and Richard Wrangham.

Don Symons must be singled out for his seminal work on human sexuality, and for offering intelligent insights through dozens of discussions over the course of many years. I offer special thanks to our agent, Katinka Matson of Brockman, Inc., who saw the potential in this book. Every author should be blessed by the incomparable editor, Robin Dennis, who helped in a zillion ways, large and small, to improve the quality of this book. Special thanks go to my spectacular friend and coauthor, Cindy Meston, without whom this book could not have been written. Finally, I’d like to thank those who endured my long hours of work and who offered love, support, encouragement, and insight throughout the writing process—most of all, Cindy R., and my daughter, Tara.

abstinence programs,
148–49

abuse

sexual (
see
sexual abuse
)

spouse,
104
,
114

academic advancement,
182

Adams, Abigail,
50

Adams, John,
50

addictive behaviors,
163

adolescents, sexual abuse and,
220–24

adventurism, sexual,
146
,
152–55
,
161–62

Afghanistan,
227

Against Our Will
(Brownmiller),
231

Ai,
50

allergy medications,
130

Almost Famous
,
92

Amhara,
176

Ammassalik Eskimos,
102

androgens,
122
,
124–26

antianxiety medications,
130

antihypertensive medications,
130

antipsychotic medications,
130

anxiety,
245–46

appearance.
See
physical appearance

approach- vs. avoidance-motivated behaviors,
143

areolae,
30
,
39

Aristophanes,
66

assortative mating,
95

Atarax,
130

Ativan,
130

attention deficit,
200–202

aversive rape fantasies,
233–34

Bachelor, The
,
78–79
,
89

Bachelorette
, The,
79
,
89

bait and switch tactic,
95–96

Barbie,
197

Bartels, Andreas,
55–56

bartering.
See
sexual bartering

Basson, Rosemary,
68

Bathsheba,
93

battering rape,
225–26

Beatles,
16
,
92

beauty.
See
physical appearance

Becoming Orgasmic
(Heiman and LoPiccolo),
47

Bem, Daryl,
5

Bemba,
176

Benadryl,
130

Bernini, Gianlorenzo,
75

Betzig, Laura,
114

Bible,
73–74
,
138
,
145
,
230

Birbaumer, Niels,
55

birth control pills,
129
,
147
,
252

birth spacing,
128

body image

media’s role in,
196–97

self-esteem and,
193–95

sexual response and,
195–96

body movement,
17–19

body odors

fertility and,
8–9

sexual attraction and,
5–8

body symmetry,
7–8
,
10
,
17

bonding

evolution of love and,
75–77

hormones and,
69–70

maternal,
70

sexual,
64–68
,
70–73

booty calls,
184–85

Bosnia,
231

brain activity, love and,
55–56

breakups, relationship,
59–60

breast augmentation,
82

breasts,
30–31
,
39

Brennan, Francis,
259

Brownmiller, Susan,
231

Bryan, Carmen,
92

Buell, Bebe,
92

Burley, Nancy,
183

Bush, George W.,
148

BuSpar,
130

call girls,
177–78
.
See also
prostitution

Campbell, Anne,
86–87

Canada,
174

case-study method,
xiii

Cassio,
103

casting couch,
181–82

celebrities,
81
,
91–92
,
96–97

Celexa,
130

cervical stimulation,
34
,
35
,
47

Charnetski, Carl,
259

chastity.
See
virginity

chastity belts,
104
,
146

Chavanne, Tara,
232

childbirth,
70

chimpanzees,
76

China,
149–50

Chloe and Daphnis,
50

Christianity,
73–75
,
138
,
148
,
230

Cialis,
33

circumcision, female,
104–6
,
146

Cleopatra,
51

Clinton, Hillary,
231

clitoridectomy,
105

clitoris,
31
,
41–42

clonidine,
130