Wishes on the Wind (18 page)

    Meg saw the shadows return to David's eyes as he spoke, and a tremor moved down her spine at the pain that stirred to life there.

    "I was breathing I could hear and see, but I had ceased to exist. You brought me back, Meg."

    "You answered my voice because it was foreign to you, and because it stirred angry memories. You didn't want me near. The first thing you said to me was 'What are you doing here?'"

    "Because I was surprised."

    "You were angry."

    "Like
you
are now?"

    Finally giving in to her annoyance, Meghan nodded. "Yes, and I suppose my anger will simmer inside me until I tell you the whole of what I think and that is, not only were you high-handed in your treatment of me earlier, you were also unkind and harsh with John Law. You acted the part of the man everyone in the valley says you are."

    "Do you think I care what they say about me in the valley? But I do care what
you
say, because we're friends."

    "We're not friends, Mr. David."

    "David."

    "No, I'll not play your foolish games!" Meg's irritation swelled. "You say you don't care what anyone in the valley says about you. Well, you see, that means you don't care about what I say, either, because I'm one of them."

    "You're
not
one of them, and you know it. You don't belong down there, Meg. You're too bright, too quick. You have too much life in you to have it smothered by the ignorance and prejudice of those people."

    Meg's lips tightened. "Aye, there's much of that down in the valley but there's a fair share of ignorance and prejudice up here, too." Meghan gave a hard laugh. "But we're just wasting our breaths, you know, going 'round and 'round like this, because nothing we say will make much difference."

    "What do you mean?"

    "Surely you know how fast I'll be out of the house when word gets around about this little jaunt we've taken."

    "No one would dare fire you!"

    "Not so. Your uncle's been looking for the excuse, and you've given it to him today. Taking me riding was a foolish thing to do, but I don't suppose you gave a second thought to the consequences, since you've doubtless escaped paying the price of unwise actions in the past."

    "Have I, Meg?" David held his scarred hands up for her to view again. "What would you call this?"

    Impatience twisted Meghan's features into a sneer.

    "Oh, you are a foolish fellow! You put so much stock in physical pain because you know so little of despair. I'll tell you what true pain is, David Lang! True pain is being without hope! Every man in the valley can tell you how that cuts into a man's vitals more sharply than a knife."

    "You're making excuses for the lazy drunkards below, and I've no patience for it, Meg. Their type would prefer to rant and rave about the inequality of things, but aren't willing to work to correct it. No, instead they've elected some men into the state legislature that have no other purpose in mind but to further the Irish cause at the expense of all others by bribing or coercing other officials into their way of thinking. They don't have the sense to consider the overall picture when things don't go their way. They'd rather settle their grievances with a cowardly shot in the dark, or a fiery torch!"

    "And you speak of
our
ignorance! Despite what you choose to think, the work of the Molly Maguires isn't accepted by most Irish in the valley. Most men of good conscience despise their deeds and condemn it as well, as does the Church. Most know that the Mollies' terrible acts do no more than increase hatred. But that doesn't mean that most don't agree that the cause is just, even though the methods are poor."

    "The miners' lot isn't as bad as they'd have people believe."

    "Oh, is that so? Do you know what it is to go to bed at night with your stomach growling from hunger, and to know your children are as hungry as you? Do you know what it is to see your children go without proper shoes and clothing, not to mention schooling? And worst of all, do you know what it is to live without hope that things will ever change?"

    "The men in the mines make a fair wage."

    "So much the fool you for believing what you say. And even if it were true, what of the 'pluck me' stores that take a man's wage from him faster than he can earn it, where a man's boots sell for $2.75 but are $4.50 on the book, and where eggs sell for 20? elsewhere, and 30? there? And what of the unspoken rule that says if a man protests his lot, he's laid off, or his credit is stopped. Do you know what it's like to realize that no matter how many hours you spend below the ground, or how hard you work your pick, you've not a chance of changing the order of things?"

    "The miners don't have to deal at the company store if they don't want to."

    "And where else would they deal, being paid monthly as they are, and with no cash to deal elsewhere in the time between? But all this talk of wage is naught but a sham, when the truth is that a 'bobtail check' telling them the amount of their current debt is all most men see at the end of the month."

    "You exaggerate."

    "Oh, do I, now? What of my brother, Sean? Fifteen years old, and bound to the company store for"

    "If he was stupid enough to run up a tab, he got what he deserved!"

    "Stupid, you say? Nay, you're the one who's too stupid to see what's going on around you! Sean was as fortunate as many others before him. He received an inheritance, you see. Whether he likes it or not, he's taken on the legacy of my father's debts, with little chance of him ever paying them off in full, for they'll last a lifetime."

    "It's plain to see that you're just repeating the trash you've heard others speak and not using your own head to think."

    "And it's plain to see that I've fooled myself of late into believing you're not the man I first thought you to be!" Meg drew herself to her feet and turned away, only to have David's heavy hand on her shoulder turn her back to face him before she'd gone a few steps.

    "Where do you think you're going?"

    "Back to the house. I've no doubt I'll be told to collect my things and leave when I get there, and I'm thinking it's for the best."

    "Meg"

    "Please take your hand off me."

    David's hand dropped to his side, only to spring back to her shoulder as she attempted to turn away again. "This has gone far enough, Meg." Frowning darkly, David shook his head. "I don't know how this all went wrong. I wanted to take you to the stable to show you Loma Linda because I thought you'd be interested. And I wanted to take you for a ride because…"

    Meghan waited in silence as David paused. The silence lengthened until she completed his statement for him.

    "Because your harsh words to poor John Law didn't satisfy your anger at me for the comments I made in the stable, and you wanted to impress both of us with your authority."

    "You make me out a true villain, Meg."

    "Does it hurt to see yourself through another's eyes?"

    David sighed. "I don't want you to be angry with me."

    "Aye, now we truly have something in common. There're a lot of things I want that are beyond me, too."

    "And so you want to see me suffer in the same way."

    Halting, Meghan considered David's low comment. "No, I've no desire to see you unhappy, Mr. David."

    "David."

    "No,
Mr.
David. I know my place, even if you choose not to see it."

    "If you don't want to see me unhappy, why are you arguing with me?"

    "Because I've much to be upset about! You said terrible, harsh things about the people of my blood just now, and you've not bothered to try to understand any of the things I've said in return. I'm thinking that the problem between us lies there, and it's not something that'll easily be overcome."

    "I was angry, Meg. I didn't mean everything I said."

    "Oh, with the excuse of anger, all's to be forgiven? I must remember that for the future."

    Irritation flared in David's eyes as he took a step closer. "It seems you Irish think you've the only causes for grievance in the world." Holding his hands up in front of Meg's face, he demanded, "What of these? Some say the fire in the stable was deliberately set, and that the Irish are responsible."

    Meghan's face paled, but her voice was firm and clear when she spoke again. "And some say your uncle's negligence was to blame for the deaths of my Da and the boys."

    David's eyes bore into hers, and Meghan no longer felt the warm summer sun on her back or heard the trill of the birds for the chill which overwhelmed her.

    The silence between them lengthened before David unexpectedly scooped her from her feet and deposited her back on his horse. Mounting behind her, he spurred the gelding into motion.

    Stumbling on a rut in the narrow dirt road, John Law caught himself with a curse and continued his steady pace. He looked around him and saw that his presence stirred little curiosity in the nearly empty streets of late afternoon, accustomed as the people were to seeing him run errands for the staff on the hill. But today he was on an errand of his own.

    John frowned, acknowledging to himself that he had been nasty and unfair to Meg when he said those things outside the stable earlier in the day. But he had been angry. Things had been going well between them until the fire, and from that time on, Meg had seemed to push him aside. She hadn't spared him a word or a smile, and she had looked through him as if he wasn't even there the few times he saw her away from Mr. David's bedside. When he saw the two of them walking toward the stable, he had suffered a fit of jealousy that had torn painfully at his insides, and angry words were the result.

    But it seemed he wasn't the only one who was fit to burst with jealousy.

    David Lang's angry face replaced Meg's in his mind's eye. The master's privileged nephew wasn't about to share Meg with a fellow so far beneath him, and he knew what that kind of interest held in store, even if Meg didn't. The trouble was, she'd never listen to him. But there was one person she
would
believe.

    The building he sought came into view in the distance and John's stomach knotted. A few minutes later he stood before the door. Wiping his sweaty palms on his pants, John took a deep breath, and knocked. A few seconds passed before the door opened to reveal the man he sought. John swallowed nervously as the thin, pale-faced priest spoke.

    "May I help you?"

    "Yes." Johnny attempted a smile. "I'd like to talk to you for a few minutes, Father."

    "Come in then."

    The door opened wider and John stepped inside.

    Secluded in a section of heavy brush that bordered the hillside trail behind the Lang mansion, David waited. He swatted again at annoying insects that buzzed around his uncovered head and raised his arm to wipe his perspired brow. Several hours had passed since he had brought Meg home from their unscheduled ride in the hills, and he'd had a difficult afternoon at best. If he were to judge from the length of time he'd been standing there, he would be tempted to think things were not going to get much better.

    Meg had been right. He had no sooner pulled up to the stable and lifted her to the ground after their silent ride home than he was given the message that Aunt Letty wanted to see him. He was grateful that Meg hadn't overheard, because he knew she would have guessed the reason for his aunt's summons.

    Waiting only until Meg disappeared around the back of the house, he had started toward the front door, his heart taking up a slow pounding, his regrets soaring. Damn, what had gotten into him? His sole intention in taking Meg out to the stables that morning had been to show her Loma Linda. He wasn't truly certain of the reason, except that he had discovered a bond of the spirit with this girl from the valley during his recuperation. He had also discovered he valued that bond. During his recuperation, she had forced him to dig down deep inside himself for a courage he was certain he would not have found without her, and he wanted to show her she had succeeded that he was looking to the future and was going on.

    But things hadn't worked out as he intended. Meg's remarks about Fabian had annoyed him, and her reminder of his behavior on the hill that first day had pushed his irritation up another notch. That annoyance was nothing to compare with the explosion of ire inside him, however, when he turned around to find Meg wasting her time talking to that stable boy, her hand on his arm.