Read Wishes on the Wind Online
Authors: Elaine Barbieri
Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #General, #Historical
Everything had fallen apart after that, and the defense he had seen rising in Meg's eyes for that fellow had been the last straw.
The last straw that was exactly what Aunt Letty had said a report of his behavior that afternoon would be if it was reported to Uncle Martin. Now in hindsight, he supposed he agreed. Uncle Martin would have been furious, and he supposed, for Meg's sake, he should be grateful that Aunt Letty had instructed the staff that word of the incident was not to be repeated. He realized now that he had put Meg's future in the household in jeopardy to salve his own senseless anger, and for that he could not forgive himself.
Meg had been right. He had acted foolishly, unforgivably. Now, at the end of the day, he was waiting for Meg to make her way back down the hill toward the valley so he could tell her so.
A reluctant smile flickered across David's lips with the realization that in all probability, Meg would not make things easy for him. She was such a stubborn girl. He supposed he'd been drawn to her from the moment of their first meeting because she was the only person who had ever challenged him and forced him to take a good look at himself. He wasn't always pleased with what he saw, but he couldn't hold her to account for that. They had never spared the truth from each other, and he supposed that was the reason exchanges between them were often so volatile. Yet, the honesty between them was one of the things he valued most in their unlikely friendship. It was too rare to lose.
He wanted the best for Meg far more than she could expect to attain, considering her common lot in life. For if there was one thing he knew, Meg was no common girl.
The sound of Meg's familiar step caused David to draw back farther into the bush. He waited until she drew abreast of him before stepping out, and he cursed himself as she jumped with a start and gasped, ''What're you doing here?"
Suddenly at a loss for words as Meghan's eyes pinned him, David shrugged. "I suppose I didn't want you to go home today before setting things straight."
Meghan did not respond, and David managed a sheepish smile. "Would it make you feel better to hear me say you were right, that I acted like a spoiled child this afternoon?"
Still no response.
"And that I regret my 'high-handed' manner?"
Silence.
"Meg…" David placed his hand on her shoulder. She didn't flinch from his touch, and he was encouraged. "I'm not proud of the way I acted this afternoon."
Silence.
"Come on, Meg. Talk to me. We've never had trouble talking, or arguing either, for that matter. And even if we don't agree on some things, I'd still like to consider you my friend."
"Friend?" Meghan broke her silence with the single word, its inflection tearing at his insides. "I think you've no idea what the word truly means, Mr. David, so accustomed are you to giving orders and getting your way."
David stared silently into the translucent blue eyes holding his. They did not spare him the criticism he deserved, and he knew it was their integrity, and something else he could not name, which made him want to see approval registered just as clearly there.
"I think you're right, Meg. For all the advantages that have been shown me, and for all my considerable education, there are many things I don't know. I'm hoping you can teach me those things, because I've come to value the openness between us."
"I'm not a teacher, Mr. David."
"Yes, you are, Meg."
Meg's fine lips twitched. "You're making sport of me."
"No, I'm trying to be honest. I'd like you to teach me what it means to be your friend."
Silence again.
"Meg?"
"I don't know if that's possible. There's too much in the way."
"You never let things get in the way before, Meg. We had nothing but hard feelings between us, but you tended my wounds and helped heal the scars that no one else could see."
"But that was different, because you helped heal mine, too."
Startled by her reply, David paused, allowing Meghan opportunity to continue. "I had more than a fair amount of bitterness inside me after the deaths of my Da and the boys, but I had only to see your pain to know, just as Father Matthew said, that on the inside we're all the same some better and some worse than others, but always with good mixed with the bad. You opened your eyes and looked at me without seeing. You were tortured, and I saw your heart in your eyes. I saw need there, too, and my heart went out to you. When it did, the bitterness started seeping away."
David reached deep for the courage to ask the next question. "Did I make the bitterness return today, Meg? Did I spoil it all?"
Meg hesitated, frowning as she finally spoke. "I'm thinking you came very close."
David gave a short, relieved laugh. "So, all's not lost. You haven't written me off. We're still friends."
"Friends? We've not reached that level of understanding, and I doubt we ever will."
"Meg…" Wondering at the torment that had started inside him at those words from this sober young girl, David shook his head. "Won't you even try?"
David saw his own torment reflected in Meg's eyes. He saw the conflict in her mind as she considered his earnestness, and he saw her hesitation in the moment before she answered solemnly, "Aye, I'll try."
"I want you to call me David."
"No, that's not possible!"
"At least when we're alone, Meg. I won't have that foolish formality between us."
Another silence.
"Please, Meg."
"All right David."
A peculiar elation surged inside him at Meghan's use of his given name, leaving David at a loss for a response. Meg took the opportunity to continue. "I must be getting home now. My Ma's waiting for my return, and it won't do to keep her. So, I'll say goodnight David."
Realizing he still hadn't responded as Meghan turned out of sight on the path, David also realized Meg's soft pronunciation of his given name was echoing in his ears, and he was savoring it the sweetest sound he'd ever heard.
"Ye need not fear, m'dear. I'm not so sure how many more days yer Ma's left in her, but she'll make it through this night."
Dr. McGee's raspy whisper achieved the volume of a shout in the soundless room, and Meghan looked quickly toward her mother's bed a few feet away.
"Not to worry. The dear woman's into a deep sleep. She's had a hard day of it just laborin' to breathe, and she'll not hear a word I say to ye now."
Giving Meghan's shoulder a comforting pat, Dr. McGee looked up at Sean, standing slightly behind Meg. "As for ye, Sean, I'm thinkin' I should take this time in the presence of ye both to say ye can't expect much more of yer mother's brave heart than to last through the summer, she's that weary of fightin'."
Dr. McGee saw the tremor that quaked the girl at his words, and he shook his head with regret, his eyes turning to Father Matthew where the man kneeled on the opposite side of Mary's bed. Although the young priest was deep in his prayers, he knew the fellow had heard every word he said.
"Is there nothin' you can do for her, doctor?"
Dr. McGee attempted a smile in response to Sean's halting question. "Ah, Sean, ye see here a mortal man who with the best of intentions cannot do more than ease the way when God calls one of us home. And I'm thinkin' Mary's beginnin' to hear His voice. I'm sorry, me boy."
"Aye, everyone's sorry." Sean's bitter retort turned Meg toward him. His expression was stiff as he then squeezed her shoulder in an attempt at comfort. "So it looks like it's to be just the two of us soon, Meg, and we've to set our minds to it. But we both knew that, didn't we?"
Able to do no more than nod, so tight had her throat become at his words, Meg saw Dr. McGee had chosen to ignore Sean's sharp response and was back at Ma's bedside for a last check before leaving.
Allowing Sean to lead her from the room behind Dr. McGee a few minutes later, Meg leaned against her brother's side, comforted as his strong young arm tightened around her shoulders. She had come home only a short time before this most recent attack of Ma's sent her flying for Dr. McGee. Gasping breathlessness had turned Ma's gaunt face so gray as to appear void of life by the time she returned with the doctor, were it not for the agony reflected there. It was that appearance of imminent death that had caused Aunt Fiona to summon Father Matthew as well.
The arrival of Dr. McGee and Father Matthew had been almost simultaneous, and it was more frightening still to see how helpless these two men were in attempting to fight the inevitable. Meghan had never been more aware than during the last hour that Ma's life was in the hands of a far greater power than they, and she had never felt more vulnerable. She knew Sean's most recent display of bitterness was a reflection of that same realization, and her sense of impotence grew.
Silent at her side as she listened to Dr. McGee's instructions, Sean waited only until the front door closed behind the doctor before uttering a savage oath.
"Sean, Dr. McGee's done his best!"
"Aye, they've all done their best, haven't they?" His light eyes glacial, Sean faced Meghan's soft reprimand with increasing bitterness. "Every last one of them has done his best. Uncle Timothy's done his best by us, and resented every minute we've spent in this house. Aunt Fiona's done her best, and not had the courage to open her mouth to a husband that treats her no better than a servant, and treats us like a burden he can't escape, despite our bond of blood. Father Matthew's done his best by puttin' you in the hands of them Langs and by prayin' to a God that's deaf to all our pleas, if, indeed, He's up there a'tall."
"Sean, you're sad and angry and frustrated because Ma's slipping away from us, but the truth is, there's nothing anybody can do. Ma knows that, too, and she'll not be too sad to go. She told me so. She told me she's looking forward to seeing Da and the boys again, and she"
"I'll hear no more of that rot, Meg!"
Her words coming to an astonished halt at Sean's outburst, Meg gasped as Sean grasped her by the shoulders and gave her a hard shake.
"Has all the fight gone out of you since you began working in that viper's nest on the hill?" Pausing only a moment to take in Meghan's startled expression, Sean continued heatedly, "Do you not remember all the things Da told us?"
"I remember, Sean, but Da didn't mean we should stop short of realizing what's right or wrong."
"Right or wrong?" Sean's sudden, bitter laughter sent chills racing down Meghan's spine. "Ah, sometimes I forget how innocent you are, Meg." Suddenly quieting, Sean stroked his callused palm against his sister's smooth cheek. "And sometimes I forget for all the closeness that's between us, that it's not your place to take the necessary steps in this affair, but mine."
"What are you saying, 'necessary steps'? All that's necessary for us now is to see that Ma passes in peace. It's what we owe to her. Ma only wants you to be happy and live a good life when she's gone."
"Aye, that I'll do, or know the reason why. And I'll see that you do, too, Meg. Don't you worry. We'll be out of this house one day soon, you'll see, and I'll make a place for the both of us when Ma's gone. No matter what anybody thinks or says, there's more in Dennis O'Connor's son, Sean, than anybody knows or sees."
"Anybody but me, Sean. I know exactly what's inside you, 'cause it's inside me, too. And I know you want the best for me, just like I want the best for you. That's why I'm saying I want you to remember the other things Da said how a man has to pull himself up without anybody else helping or suffering for it; that a man must look at his own face in the mirror each day, and if he can't meet his deeds in the eye, it's all been for naught."
"I'll not shy from facing what I see, Meg. And I'll not regret doin' what must be done."
An unexpected step from behind turned both Sean and Meg to Father Matthew's stern expression as he spoke into the sudden stillness of the hallway.
"And what might that be, Sean?"
Anger tinted Sean's face as he sneered, "If I was to confide in anyone, you'd be the last one, Father."
"Sean, you shouldn't say such things to Father Matthew!"
"Shouldn't I?" Appearing to relent in the face of the unexpected tears that brightened his sister's eyes, Sean shrugged. "Well, if you say so. I'm not going to argue with you, Meg, for it's not my wish to add to your burden of this night. And since I can say no more with any honesty without makin' matters worse, I'll take my leave to go to a place where there's more sympathetic company."
Glancing at Father Matthew as he grasped the doorknob and prepared to leave, Sean turned back to his sister once more. "It's my thought that you'll hear little good of me while I'm gone, but I've only to look in your eyes to see that it'll make little difference to you. 'Cause you know as well as I that it's soon to be you and me against them all. Isn't that right, Meg?"