Authors: Emma Mills
Jessica Angel James
Needlessly taken from us
January 29
th
2009
Aged 17
Time seemed to stand still, but eventually I pulled myself together. I had to find my father. I hadn’t come to find
my
grave; I’d come to find his. My eyes scoured the site until they came to rest on a small and beautifully polished wooden box, resting next to the headstone. Slotted down the side was a simple greetings card. I picked it up and read,
My lost brother,
Be at peace now.
You’re with the ones you love.
Your loving sister,
Grace.
I replaced the card gently and picked up the box carefully. I took a deep breath, and opened it. Sighing deeply, my eyes took in the grey dust as I realised I had my father in my hands. Surprisingly it was not in the slightest bit scary. I knew what I had to do, and quickly glancing around to check no-one was there, I carried him a step to the left, over to my mother’s grave.
‘Here, Dad. You need to be with Mum now. I’m sure you realise this by now, but well, I’m not dead after all, so there’s no point in you sitting on my grave. I wish I could have seen you, told you, but maybe you would have freaked out. Maybe it’s best this way, but I promise I’ll try not to fail you.’ I paused for breath and carried on, the words flowing faster. ‘I don’t know why you didn’t tell me about my mum, my other mum, I mean.’ I still hadn’t looked through the box from the attic - that was next on my list. ‘I guess there’s a good reason, but well, I forgive you anyway. I love you Dad.’ I finished with a whisper, my tears starting up again.
Without hesitation, I gently tipped the box upside down over Mum’s grave, watching the dust settle in between the shoots of grass, where he’d be washed down into the soft earth, to lie with the woman he loved.
The sharp peal of a mobile ringtone interrupted my thoughts and brought me slamming back into the present. After a minutes confusion I remembered the cheap ‘pay as you go’ mobile Daniel had provided me with before we left the house, in case I needed him. I quickly replaced the wooden box in its original location and removed the phone from my pocket.
Daniel’s name flashed up at me persistently. I looked at the time 14:05
Damn!
He’d be at the car, with my note and when I didn’t answer his call he’d be on his way. I pressed the power button and waited till the phone went black and then swivelled on my heels. I had to leave. I had a last look at my parent’s graves and whispered another
Goodbye
,
I love you
, and then I left. I had one more goodbye still to make.
Chapter Twelve
Racing out of the cemetery, I became aware of a new lightness within my soul, a freedom, and with it came a new feeling of power and strength. It surged through my veins along with Daniel’s blood and I realised I was going to have to slow down, if I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. Within seconds I was standing back on the street, in front of the chapel. The dry, bright, wintry day was rapidly deteriorating and ominous grey clouds hung heavy in the sky.
Slowing to a brisk walk, I headed across the town to the cricket ground. On route, I switched on the phone again to check the time. I’d reckoned that a forty five minute bus journey would take Daniel only twenty minutes in his car. I had to get off the high street as soon as possible, because after he’d found and checked the graveyard, it wouldn’t take him long to find me.
I guessed he’d check my father’s house after the cemetery and then he’d run through all our conversations until he remembered where I said my party was to be held. I kicked myself for mentioning it. I increased my speed to a perfectly human-like jog, negotiated the high street and cut through a cul-de-sac of smart homes which backed onto the cricket ground.
I stopped momentarily, standing in the shade of the old English oaks which bordered the grounds, looking across the vast sea of smooth green grass toward the modern, rather uninspiring building that housed the club. To the side of the building was a car park which was virtually empty apart from two lonely cars.
The place was desolate, empty, and I closed my eyes and imagined how it should have been bustling with life. How my friends and I would have been laughing and joking, decorating the room ready for the party. Pink and silver balloons – there was a definite girly streak within me, which rebelled against the girl who loved rock music. I’d chosen a gorgeous, girly, fuchsia pink dress for the party, and I smiled thinking how amused Alex would be if she knew what I’d become, and if I could wear that dress again - a vampire in a pretty pink dress! Somehow the image didn’t quite work.
I imagined how I might have snuck off with Luke for a secret kiss. How my dad would have enjoyed bossing people around. He’d be telling the caterers where to put the food and how to set the tables up, as if they didn’t know! I sighed and felt a need to get closer. The vast green lawn seemed too exposed, so I kept to the tree line, circling nearer to the building, my now super-human eyesight raking the area, hungrily taking in all the details of the party I’d never have .
That was when I saw him; the only other person around. I was amazed I hadn’t picked him out before, because he was sitting directly in front of the building, on a wooden bench. He could have been a statue, he was so still and silent, his pale face stone had it not been for the tears that streamed down it. I was entranced, hypnotised by his poignant beauty. He drew me in, so I silently crept forward to the edge of the trees, my day dreams forgotten.
A gust of wind suddenly blew round the edge of the building, bringing his scent to me in a sweet, intoxicating attack. The animal in me crouched, ready to pounce, and I felt all the muscles in my body contract, ready to shoot me forward in one smooth movement.Then he glanced up and looked in my direction. He didn’t appear to see me, but
I
saw him and it gave me the strength to control my desire. I stumbled back against a tree watching him.
‘Luke, Luke,’ I whispered, watching him, taking in the stubbly cheeks I’d kissed so many times and his beautiful blue eyes, now so full of despair. I spent what seemed like ages soaking up every detail of him. His old worn jeans trailing slightly on the floor and soaking up the puddles at his feet. The navy blue waterproof coat I’d always disliked. The soft, full lips which looked pink and almost feminine, and finally his gorgeous floppy, boyish hair I loved to run my fingers through.
‘I’m here Luke, I’m here,’ I breathed, barely a whisper on the wind.
I wanted to go to him, I yearned to go to him, to hold him and be held by him. My emotions choked me and drove me to my feet again, pushing my body from the tree’s support. I would go to him.
No! I checked myself and sank to the damp, earthy floor. I would not be tempted by him. I couldn’t trust myself. Or could I? Would he recognise me? If not, would he believe me? Hell, no! He’d think I was some local crazy and get the hell out of there. Could I let him go?
Would
I let him go? I sat in the shade of the trees and watched and waited.
For the second time that afternoon my mobile phone interrupted my meditation, as its shocking peal reverberated around the cricket ground.
Damn! I thought I switched it back off
? I quickly did so and looked up towards Luke. He was staring straight at me, a frown clouding his face, as he self-consciously rubbed the tears from his face.
Shit! Now it looked like I was stalking him!
I took a deep breath and realised I’d got a little used to the heady aroma of his scent during the last twenty minutes and I felt myself pulled towards him. I had to know if he recognised me. If he did, well, I actually had no idea what I’d do, but if he didn’t, which was more likely, I’d walk past and away from him, say goodbye and return to Daniel.
He watched stonily as I walked towards him, checking myself on every step.
Walk like a human, walk like a human,
I kept repeating to myself as the urge to run, to fly to him rose within me, as each step brought me closer. Somehow I managed to hold it together and I walked right up to him and sat next to him on the bench.
His scent had a different quality to all other human scents I’d ever smelt. Somehow it was totally individual, but just as alluring. Instead of the chocolaty rich aromas I was used to, he smelt almost floral.
Oh God!
I wanted to bite him.
Calm, calm, calm…
‘Hi,’ I said trying to ignore the delicious waves of scent that made my mouth water furiously.
‘You were watching me,’ he said, taking a quick glance at my face and frowning quickly as he looked away again, off into the distance.
‘Not really. I just came here to be alone. You were in my seat.’ I shrugged, revelling in the sound of his quiet voice, basking in his attention.
He nodded again and risked another glance. I caught his eyes and he looked momentarily confused, gave his head a little shake and looked away again.
‘What is it?’ I asked.
‘Nothing. You remind me of someone, but I’m leaving now. The bench is all yours,’ he said, as he began to stand.
My soul fought the vampire, and the vampire began to win. As he took a step away from me I felt my fangs break through, my saliva pooled and a thirsty burning sensation tingled in my throat.
I can’t let him leave me. He’s mine.
He just can’t go and leave me. Not now.
‘No!’ I said, maybe a little too forcefully. He looked back at me sharply, and I tried to laugh a little to cover up the rush of emotion.
‘I mean, stay, keep me company a while.’ I gestured to the space beside me and tried to control the urge to jump up and grab him. My eyes pleaded with him and he gave a little shrug and sat back down. A minute passed and we sat silently side by side, consumed by our individual thoughts.
A low sigh escaped his lovely lips and after another searching gaze he stood up once again.
‘I’m sorry I have to go. She’s gone. I failed her,’ He said quietly.
What did he mean? How could
he
have possibly failed me? He wasn’t even in Manchester that night.
‘What if she’s not gone? What if she’s still here? Like a ghost, but different?’ I asked quietly.
But I’d pushed him too far, and his face returned to stone, immovable. He clearly thought I was a little unhinged and started backing away slightly.
‘Luke, it’s me,’ I said suddenly as all coherent thought evaporated. I wanted him to see past the dark shiny hair, the pale flawless skin and burnt chocolate eyes; to see me, the girl inside.
‘No. It’s not. Sorry. Bye.’ He stiffly turned and I watched as his body seemed to leave me in slow motion, that word resounding in my head.
Bye
.
No!
In my head I screamed, and I jumped from my seat. I could
not
let him leave me. I would not. He needed to know. I needed to be with him, needed to kiss him, needed to taste him, bite him. Within a second it would have been all over. My fangs had shot right out, and once again I felt all my muscles coil themselves tightly inwards, ready to spring. My feet left the floor simultaneously as my arms reached out.
‘Jessie, no!’ Daniel’s voice rang out, and the second it took me to hesitate was all it took for him to sprint the short distance and wrap his steely arms around me.
I fought his embrace, a wild cat within me, scratching and tearing, trying to escape, but he held tight and I watched in wild desperation as Luke slowly turned around to face me.
I expected shock and fear to flood his features. What would Daniel do? But instead I saw revulsion and disgust.