With Autumn's Return (Westward Winds Book #3): A Novel (34 page)

Shivering slightly from the cold breeze that blew into the building, Elizabeth beckoned him inside. “I have a patient in the infirmary.” The unmistakable sound of a child crying punctuated her words.

“A baby?”

She nodded. “One of Phoebe’s girls gave birth this afternoon.” There was something about the way Elizabeth pronounced the words that told Jason there was more to this story than she was admitting. And that story, he surmised, was the reason for her sorrow.

“Is the mother here too?” Though he believed he knew the answer, Jason did not want to make any assumptions.

The spasm of pain that crossed Elizabeth’s face was all the answer he needed. As the baby wailed again, she hurried into the infirmary, lifting the infant into her arms.

“Sheila died,” she said softly as she tried to comfort her patient. To Jason’s amazement, even wrapped in a blanket, the baby appeared almost impossibly tiny. “By the time I got there,” Elizabeth continued, “it was too late. All I can do now is hope Louella survives.” She walked back into the
kitchen and reached for what appeared to be a piece of cloth. As the child began to suckle, Elizabeth placed her into a flannel-lined box.

“How can I help you?” Jason didn’t know much about babies, but there had to be something he could do.

Elizabeth lit the stove and placed a saucepan over the flame before turning to look at Jason. “Why would you want to do anything?”

It was a fair question. What he didn’t know was whether or not she would believe his answer. “Because I care about you.” There. The words he’d longed to say were out in the open.

The blood drained from Elizabeth’s face, and she stared at him, her expression one of pure astonishment. “What did you say?”

“I care about you.” Though he wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms, Jason remained standing where he was. “This is not the way I had planned to tell you, but I want our courtship to be a genuine one.” His smile was rueful as he looked at the small kitchen. Elizabeth stood there, her eyes moving from the temporarily contented baby to him, while behind her, a pan of milk was heating. If there was a less romantic spot, Jason would have been hard-pressed to find it.

“I doubt any woman dreams of a setting like this, but it’s true. That’s what I tried to tell you the day you discovered Richard’s plan. The courtship may have started as nothing more than a way to preserve your reputation and keep your practice from dwindling, but I soon realized that what I feel is more than friendship. I hope you feel the same way, because I want us to have a real courtship so we can discover whether we have a future together.”

Elizabeth was still staring at him, but her eyes had soft
ened. As she started to say something, the baby’s arms flailed. Elizabeth lifted the infant into her arms and began to croon.

The sight of Elizabeth cuddling the baby made Jason catch his breath. He swallowed deeply before he spoke. “I want to fill your life with happiness. What can I do?”

A soft gurgle followed by the sound of liquid hitting the floor was his answer. “Would you hand me the towel?” Elizabeth asked. Her patient had spit up.

Elizabeth laughed, a shaky laugh that sounded closer to a cry than an expression of mirth. “I’m not laughing at you, Jason,” she assured him. “I’d never do that. I’m laughing at Louella. Babies have terrible timing, don’t they?”

That was one way of describing it. If he were a superstitious man, which he was not, he might have thought it was an unfavorable omen. But Jason knew better. “I meant what I said. I want to help you, so tell me what I can do.”

Elizabeth dipped her fingertip into the milk that was warming, the slight shake of her head announcing that it wasn’t yet the correct temperature for the baby. “I want to believe you,” she said softly, her blue eyes shining with something that he desperately wanted to believe was love. “I want to be courted by you, but look around.” She inclined her chin in the direction of the stove. “This is my life. I have a newborn baby who has no one but me to keep her alive.” Leaning forward, she pressed a kiss on the infant’s forehead, then looked up, her eyes meeting his. “I’m scared, Jason. I don’t know whether I can be both a doctor and a good wife and mother. What if I fail?”

That was the real issue: Elizabeth blamed herself for the death of the baby’s mother, and that made her fear that she would fail at everything. Jason had experienced those same
fears when he’d learned the truth about Adam Bennett. Gradually, though, the pain had faded, and as it did, his confidence had returned. Perhaps he could hasten the healing process for Elizabeth.

“You did the best you could for Sheila, just as you will for her baby, but ultimately life and death are in God’s hands.”

“I know,” she said, her voice cracking with emotion, “but it hurts so much to lose a patient. Sheila was the first.” Still clutching the baby to her chest, Elizabeth began to sob.

Gently, Jason pried the infant from her arms and laid her in the makeshift cradle. The little girl remained silent as Jason wrapped his arms around Elizabeth and drew her head to his chest.

“I wish I could have spared you the pain of losing a patient, but I can’t. All I can do is be here now. No matter what happens, I want you to know one thing: you’re not alone.”

Jason’s words echoed through Elizabeth’s brain for the next four days as she kept her vigil over Sheila’s daughter. She wasn’t alone, and that made what could have been an ordeal much easier. As Elizabeth had feared, Louella showed signs of suffering from her premature birth. There had been several times when she’d stopped breathing the first day, her fingers and toes turning blue, her face contorting in what appeared to be pain. Each time, Elizabeth had revived her with cold water. The first time, the application of a cloth to her face had not been sufficient, and she’d had to immerse little Louella in a bucket of cold water, but by the third occurrence, simply placing the cold compress on her forehead had been enough to shock her back to breathing. That had been the final epi
sode. Now, although she seemed to be hungry again almost as soon as she’d finished feeding, Louella’s color was good. Sheila’s daughter was a small but otherwise perfect baby girl.

“What are you going to do with her?” True to his word, Jason had spent most of his time with Elizabeth, providing whatever assistance he could. The first day, he’d found a bottle that Elizabeth could use to feed the baby, and to her surprise, he’d proven adept at convincing the little girl to drink. Other times, he watched over the baby while Elizabeth stole a few hours of sleep. Throughout it all, Jason was unfailingly cheerful, assuring her that no one could provide better care for Louella than Elizabeth. If this was courtship, it was a decidedly unconventional one, and yet it brought smiles of pleasure to Elizabeth’s face.

“I don’t know what to do with Louella,” she told Jason. “I thought about adopting her myself, but the answer to that was very clear. I’m not the mother God intended for Louella, nor are my sisters.” That had been a disappointment, for, though she knew she shouldn’t, Elizabeth had become attached to the tiny infant. There were times when she held Louella in her arms and imagined this was her daughter and that she and Jason were raising her. At those times, she tried to picture what Louella would look like as she grew. It would be a joy, having a child like this. But God had other ideas. The disquiet that Elizabeth felt each time she considered making Louella hers told her that.

“There must be someone who’ll care for her,” Jason said.

He’d no sooner spoken than the doorbell tinkled, announcing someone’s arrival. “I’ll watch Louella while you see your patient,” he told Elizabeth.

Carefully closing the infirmary door behind her, Elizabeth
walked into the waiting room, smiling when she recognized Laura Seaman. For the first time, she did not have Louis with her. Though she returned Elizabeth’s smile, Laura twisted the strings of her reticule, as if she were nervous, and her face was paler than usual. Elizabeth hoped whatever was bothering her patient was not serious.

“Come in,” she said, gesturing toward her consulting room. When they were both seated, she asked, “What brings you here today?”

Laura gripped the chair arms, her eyes searching the room before she looked at Elizabeth. “Is it true that you have a baby in your infirmary?”

It was far from the response Elizabeth had expected, but there was no reason to deny the truth. “Yes. I’ve been caring for Louella since her birth.”

Though she hadn’t thought it possible, Laura’s pallor increased. “Her name is Louella?” she asked, her voice shaky. Her eyelids closed and her lips moved without making a sound, as if she were praying.

“That’s the name her mother gave her.” Elizabeth watched her patient, waiting until Laura opened her eyes again before she spoke. “If you know she’s here, you probably also know that Louella’s mother died in childbirth.”

“I do.” Lacing her fingers together, Laura leaned forward. “Oh, Doctor, I’ve prayed and prayed about this, and I believe that Louella is the answer to my prayers. You know how much I want another child. Please, let me have this one.”

Elizabeth kept her expression emotionless as she considered the woman’s plea. If this truly was God’s will, it could indeed be the answer to prayers, both hers and Laura’s. “I thought you and your husband were opposed to adoption.”

Laura nodded. “We were, but it’s different this time. No matter what I did, I couldn’t stop thinking about this little girl ever since I heard about her.” Louella must have wakened, for a faint cry penetrated the closed door. At the sound, Laura turned abruptly, color staining her cheeks. “When you told me her name was Louella, I knew she was the one God meant for us. You see, that was my mother’s name. Lloyd and I always said we’d name our first daughter after Ma.” Laura placed her folded hands on Elizabeth’s desk and fixed her gaze on her. “Is it possible? Could we adopt her?”

There was no doubting the woman’s sincerity or the fact that Louella needed a home. “Are you both certain this is what you want?” Elizabeth had never met Lloyd Seaman, but she’d heard that he was a good man. A bit stern, perhaps, but basically a loving father.

“Yes.” Laura dropped her eyes. “At first Lloyd objected. He didn’t approve of the mother’s profession, but eventually he agreed with me. A baby’s a baby, and this may be our only chance to give Louis a sister.”

The feeling of peace that settled over Elizabeth told her this was indeed God’s will. “I can’t think of anyone who’d be a better mother than you. Would you like to see Louella now?” Elizabeth raised her voice slightly so that Jason would hear her.

“Oh yes!”

When she heard the back door close and knew that Jason had left rather than provoke more gossip, Elizabeth rose and took a step toward the hallway. “Come with me.”

When they reached the infirmary, the baby was stirring. Elizabeth drew Louella out of the makeshift cradle and handed her to Laura, watching the thin woman beam with happiness as she held the child.

“She’s beautiful.” Laura traced the outline of Louella’s face with one finger, as if memorizing it. “Can I take her home today?”

Though Elizabeth wished she could agree, she could not. “Louella had some problems breathing at the beginning. I believe she’s fine now, but I want her to stay here for a few more days.” Seeing the woman’s disappointment, she added, “You and Lloyd and Louis are welcome to spend as much time as you like with her. In fact, it would be a big help to me if you’d take over Louella’s care.”

Tears of joy filled Laura’s eyes. “You don’t know what this means to me, Doctor. Thanks to you, my dreams are coming true.” She pressed a kiss on the baby’s forehead before looking back at Elizabeth. “There’s no way I can repay you, but if there’s anything I can do for you—anything at all—all you have to do is ask.”

 23 

S
he had never had a favorite month, never even thought about it, but this year November was turning into the most wonderful month Elizabeth could imagine. Other than Sheila’s death, it had been filled with happiness. Louella had gained weight more quickly than Elizabeth had expected, perhaps as a result of Laura’s constant attention and love, and so Elizabeth had released the baby to Laura and Lloyd’s care only four days after Laura had asked to adopt her. Jason had agreed to handle the paperwork, but even before the adoption became official, it was clear that Louella was thriving in her new home. Even Phoebe, who’d expressed surprise that anyone would want Sheila’s baby, admitted that everything was turning out well for the orphaned girl.

And, to Elizabeth’s surprise, when she had confronted Phoebe about Sheila’s corsets and the probability that they had contributed to her death, Phoebe had admitted that she’d made a mistake. “It won’t happen again,” she promised. “And there will be no more ergot, either.”

Elizabeth had left the bordello with a grin as wide as Wyoming Territory on her face, thrilled by Phoebe’s concessions.

Just as wonderful, both of her sisters now had firm dates for their return to Wyoming. Charlotte’s training would conclude on the first of December, which meant that she, Barrett, and David, the precious nephew Elizabeth had met only once, would arrive by the middle of the month. Abigail and Ethan would be a bit later, but they would be in Cheyenne before Christmas.

That was cause for rejoicing, but there was more. Elizabeth touched the edge of the curling iron, testing the temperature before she reached for another lock of hair. Though she normally wore her hair in a simpler style, Gwen had convinced her that an evening at the Opera House was special enough to warrant curls. Even if Elizabeth didn’t agree with Gwen’s assertion that Jason intended to propose marriage tonight, the midnight blue silk gown she was wearing demanded a more intricate hairstyle.

She glanced at the mirror, admiring the result. The gown, one of Charlotte’s creations, was magnificent, and the curls added softness to Elizabeth’s face. But it wasn’t the finery that made her eyes sparkle. It was the thought of her official courtship. Though it had been only a little more than two weeks, they had been the most memorable of Elizabeth’s life. She and Jason had done the same things they’d done before. They’d shared cakes in the afternoons, occasional suppers at night, and he walked home with her every day. It was different this time, though, for they talked—they really talked.

Instead of trivialities, they shared their hopes and dreams. Elizabeth learned that, although he would handle all kinds of law, Jason wanted to specialize as a defense attorney, ensuring
that falsely accused citizens received justice. She told him of her desire to uncover more of the mysteries of women’s bodies so that her patients could live longer, healthier lives. They both spoke of their desire for children, with Jason admitting that he still believed children needed a full-time mother. And through it all, Elizabeth’s regard for Jason grew. He was kind; he was thoughtful; he was everything she could ask for in a man. Jason was the man of her dreams. What she did not know was whether he loved her enough to accept the fact that she was not the kind of wife and mother he had once dreamt of.

Anticipation surged through Jason’s veins as he turned the carriage onto 17th Street. Tonight would be a once-in-a-lifetime event. Tonight was the night he would ask the woman he loved to marry him. He’d visited Mr. Mullen’s store this morning and had found Elizabeth’s ring. Though he’d gone with no preconceived ideas of style, when the jeweler had shown him a tray of diamond rings, Jason’s eye had lit on one, and he’d known it was the right one for Elizabeth. It wasn’t the largest or the most expensive, but the instant he saw it, Jason could picture it on Elizabeth’s hand. A modest center diamond was circled by a row of smaller ones, and as he turned it, the stones caught the light, reflecting rainbows of color.

“A wise choice.” Mr. Mullen fingered his moustache when he saw Jason’s interest in that particular ring. “It will be beautiful on your lady’s long fingers.”

For a second, Jason was confused, wondering how the jeweler knew that Elizabeth had long, slender fingers. Then
he recalled the day he’d borrowed the Mullenses’ boat. Mr. Mullen had met Elizabeth that day, and—just as Elizabeth admitted she looked at even strangers as potential patients, searching their expression and their demeanor for signs of illness—Mr. Mullen had undoubtedly given Elizabeth’s hands a more than cursory glance.

“You’re right,” Jason told the jeweler as he paid for the ring. “This is perfect for Elizabeth.”

Now, approaching her home, he smiled at the thought of placing that ring on Elizabeth’s finger. Normally she wore no jewelry other than the watch that she kept pinned to her bodice, but after tonight, he hoped she’d wear his rings. First this one, the symbol of the future they would share, and then the wedding band that would mark their union.

It couldn’t have been a more perfect evening. Though the weather was cold, the sky was clear, highlighted by a sliver of a moon and thousands of twinkling stars. It was the perfect evening for a concert at the Opera House, and when that was over, it would be the perfect evening for a drive through the park.

Jason had it all planned. After he claimed the night was too beautiful to waste, he’d take Elizabeth to City Park. Once they were there, he’d tell her how much he loved her and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life showing her just how deep that love was. He would ask her to be his wife, and when she said yes, he would slide the ring onto her finger. And then . . . then he would press his lips to hers.

Jason’s smile broadened at the thought of their embrace. He’d wanted, oh, how he’d wanted to kiss her again, but every time he’d come close to pulling Elizabeth into his arms, something deep inside him had told him to wait. It was right
that the next kiss they shared would be that of a betrothed couple.

Looping the reins over one of the hitching posts in front of the new Landry Dry Goods store, Jason grinned at the sight of Rose peeking out of a second-story window. Gwen’s daughter would announce his arrival by racing around the apartment. At least that’s what she’d done the last time, working herself into a frenzy, or so Harrison had claimed. But his friend would not be there tonight. He’d told Jason that he had been banished so that Gwen could fuss over Elizabeth. She had no need for fussing. Even when she’d been exhausted from her vigil over Louella, her hair coming undone, her dress bearing stains from the baby’s tendency to spit up the last ounce of milk, Elizabeth had been beautiful.

“You’re here!” Rose opened the door and tugged on his hand. “Come see Aunt Elizabeth. She’s bootiful tonight.”

And she was. Jason stood in the doorway, his pulse racing at the sight of the woman he loved dressed in a magnificent gown of dark blue silk. Though the bodice was modestly cut, the rich color highlighted the creaminess of her skin, skin that he knew was softer than the silk. Elizabeth had been beautiful before, but tonight her beauty surpassed everything in Jason’s experience.

He cleared his throat as he tried to form words. “An attorney’s never supposed to be speechless,” he told Elizabeth, “but I don’t know what to say. You’re more beautiful than ever.”

The color that rose to her cheeks only enhanced that beauty. “Thank you. It’s the magic of Charlotte’s gown.” She gestured toward the blue silk, as if she truly believed it was the source of her beauty.

“I won’t get into that argument again. Just let me say that you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” And if the evening ended the way he hoped, that beautiful woman would soon be his betrothed. Jason reached for Elizabeth’s cloak and settled it over her shoulders. “Shall we go? I wouldn’t want us to be late and disappoint the other concertgoers.”

“What do you mean?” It was Gwen who asked the question. Jason gave her a quick glance, noting that she looked prettier than he recalled. While no one could compare to Elizabeth, ever since Harrison had asked her to marry him, Gwen had blossomed.

“Elizabeth and I have seats in one of the boxes.” Jason smiled at the woman he loved. “You and your gown will be on display.”

“A box at the opera house!” Gwen laid her hand on Elizabeth’s arm. “You’d better hurry, and make sure you remember every detail so you can tell me. I imagine it will be very different from my evening at the Opera House.” Gwen wrinkled her nose. “When your sister and I went there, we sat in the last row. That was all I could afford.”

The box might seem like an extravagance to some, but Jason hadn’t minded the cost. He’d chosen box seating deliberately, wanting Elizabeth to have no doubts about his sincerity. He was proud to be in her company, and he wanted all of Cheyenne to know it.

“You’re spoiling me,” she said as they descended the steps.

“That is my intention.”

When they reached the street, Jason helped Elizabeth into the carriage, then climbed into the driver’s seat. As he flicked the reins, another coach barreled down Ferguson, headed toward them. It wasn’t unusual to see other carriages on
the street, but this one’s speed was unexpected. Moreover, it should have been on the opposite side of the road.

“That’s Phoebe’s landau.” Elizabeth laid a restraining hand on Jason’s arm. “I wonder why she’s here.”

A second later, the carriage lurched to a stop, and a girl leaned out.

“Dr. Harding,” she cried, her voice shrill with emotion, “you’ve got to come. Something horrible happened.”

“You don’t need to come in with me,” Elizabeth said as she and Jason approached Phoebe’s bordello. When she’d heard Katie’s plea, Elizabeth had rushed back into the apartment to grab her medical bag; then she and Jason had followed Katie and Phoebe’s driver back to 15th Street, racing as if it were a matter of life and death. Perhaps it was. Katie would say nothing more than that Elizabeth was needed in Phoebe’s suite, repeating the word “horrible” several times.

When they arrived, the girl who’d summoned Elizabeth to Sheila’s side only a few weeks before leapt from the landau and hurried to Jason’s carriage. “Come, Doctor. Around the back. That’s where I heard the noise. I was too scared to go in.”