I arrived at the library and found an empty table in the back, grateful for the peace and quiet. I opened up a book and started to read. It was difficult to focus on the words on the page. There were too many things going on for me to easily focus on anything these days, but I did my best. And after rereading several sentences, I finally managed to get into the reading.
Right about then was when my phone buzzed on the table beside me. I was in the back and it was on vibrate, so I thankfully didn
’
t garner any unwanted glares, but I snatched it up quickly anyway and unlocked it. I only half expected the message to be about Miranda this time
—
the more days that passed with no incident or further notice about her, the more confident I became that she just wasn
’
t going to come at all.
It was from Kass.
Okay, where the hell are you?! You need to ditch this essay prep and come to lunch! Logan is sitting with us! And he
’
s asking about you. What
’
s going on?
I winced at each word, wondering what I was supposed to tell her in response
—
and why in the hell Logan was eating lunch with them.
Of course, I knew the answer to that one. He was there asking about me, which meant that he wanted to talk to me. About last night. Or maybe about that chance for a second date. And I didn
’
t want to talk about any of those things.
I pushed my phone aside and reminded myself that I
’
d claimed I was working on an essay with a professor, so the likelihood that anyone was going to come looking for me
—
or that they would find me in one of the three libraries on campus, tucked away in the back
—
was slim.
I was safe, at least for now.
When the lunch hour was up, I headed quickly towards my class, texting Kass as I went. I apologized that I couldn
’
t make it and asked what Logan was doing there, why he was asking about me. It seemed like the best way to go. If I played like I didn
’
t know what was going on, then maybe she wouldn
’
t ask too many questions or get too suspicious.
And maybe, if I was really lucky, this whole thing would blow over by the time I left my last class.
But as the door to my after lunch class came into view, I realized how unrealistic that was. Leaning against the wall, looking a mixture of incredibly sexy and very angry, was Logan.
I stopped mid-step and just stared at him. What was he doing here? And how was it he seemed to know where and when all my classes were? Did he have my schedule or something?
I didn
’
t know, but I debated ditching my class just so I wouldn
’
t have to talk to him. I knew what he was going to bring up, and I didn
’
t want to have to tell him that there was no chance for us. My chest hurt at the thought, but I pushed the feeling away and decided that I couldn
’
t let him chase me away from class.
Holding my shoulders back and my chin up, I strutted towards class as though he didn
’
t concern me at all. I wasn
’
t dumb enough to think that he would let me walk right past this time. He hadn
’
t done it the last time and it was pure stupidity to think that he would do it
now
.
Instead of trying to push past him, I stopped right in front of him.
“
What are you doing here?
”
I asked him, trying to keep my voice calm and casual.
“
I
’
m pretty sure you
’
re not in this class.
”
The frown that had settled on his handsome face deepened and he shoved off the wall so that he was standing directly in front of me, only inches away.
“
Where the hell have you been?
”
he demanded.
I stared at him in surprise. I
’
d figured he would be asking about the night before or the second date or bringing up something along those lines, but this?
“
What do you mean where have I been?
”
I asked in confusion.
“
Don
’
t play dumb,
”
he said, and I could hear the anger in his voice.
“
You have four classes before lunch and you didn
’
t go to a damn one!
”
Okay, that was weird. So he
did
know my schedule
…
But how did he know I didn
’
t go to any of my classes?
“
Um, that
’
s not true,
”
I pointed out.
“
I went to class today
—”
“
Bullshit,
”
he spat loudly at me, folding his arms across his chest. His muscles were tight with tension, and I admitted only silently to myself that I thought he was incredibly attractive.
“
I waited for you. You never showed up.
”
That stopped me. I opened my mouth, though I didn
’
t know what I was going to say, and then closed it a moment later. He had been waiting for me?
“
What, are you
stalking
me now?
”
I demanded, feeling my own anger start to come up.
For a moment, he looked guilty. But if it was a war between guilt and his anger, anger was going to win every time.
“
I just wanted to talk to you, and Mason wouldn
’
t give me your damn number
—”
My face paled. He had asked Mason about me? Oh god, what had he told him? Maybe not showing up for lunch had been a bad idea. What if he
’
d said that we went out on a date last night and that I kept initiating kisses with him? What if he said that he thought we were going to try the dating thing?
This was bad.
What if he said all of this in front of Kass?
“
Of course he didn
’
t!
”
I half yelled at him angrily.
“
He
’
s my
friend
and friends don
’
t throw each other under the bus like that!
”
“
Oh, I
’
m the equivalent of being hit by a bus now?
”
he shot back, looking both hurt and still angry now.
My hands balled into fists at my side.
“
Maybe you
are
,
”
I responded heatedly.
He took a step closer.
“
You didn
’
t seem to think so last night.
”
Though I was still angry and I knew that this was something that wasn
’
t going to go anywhere, no matter how many times we did this weird half make-out, half argue thing, I couldn
’
t stop the way my body responded to him.
Heat spread through me at his nearness and my heart beat harder in my chest, but that didn
’
t mean that I had to acknowledge it.
“
Yeah, well, clearly last night was a
mistake
,
”
I told him in a tone that was more a sneer than anything else.
As I turned away to head to my class, I caught a flicker of the hurt expression on his face. Then I slipped into the door and headed for my desk, as far from the door and Logan as I could possibly get.
He
’
s following me
, I thought trying to hold onto my anger, but all I could see in my head was that hurt expression on his face.
I made it through my next two classes in a haze. I took almost no notes and the lectures went in one ear and out the other. I was too busy focusing on Logan. The anger he had when he hadn
’
t been able to find me that day
—
even though I hadn
’
t been ditching my classes or anything
—
and then the hurt look on his face when I told him last night was a mistake.
Which it was, I was sure of that now, but it didn
’
t stop me from wishing it wasn
’
t. I still remembered how much fun I
’
d been having, the kind of chemistry that always seemed to spark between us, and the thrill of doing something bad for the first time in years.
But none of those reasons meant that it was okay for him to be following me
—
and more importantly, it wasn
’
t okay for me to be so taken with him.
He was bad news, I didn
’
t know how many times I had to remind myself of this before it would just take already. Time after time, I had to decide that he was bad news. That he was the wrong guy for me, the worst guy for me.
But I still wanted to seek him out, and secretly, was happy that
he
was seeking me out. Even if I didn
’
t think it was necessarily the best way
…
Of course, how else was he going to find me? We didn
’
t share any classes, since he was a senior and definitely not a Business major. He didn
’
t have my number, and couldn
’
t seem to get it from any of my friends
…
Speaking of which, my phone had been blowing up all afternoon. After about the fifth text I received in my class right after lunch, I turned off my phone. I didn
’
t need to look at the messages to see that it was Kass who was texting me
—
and maybe Mason. She undoubtedly wanted to know what was really going on, and now I was beginning to think that she wasn
’
t buying my
play dumb
idea.
She knew something was up, and there was no way she was going to let it go.
Although it felt weird to have my phone off, I at least didn
’
t have to worry about all the anxiety I was getting from it these last few days. Between Logan and Miranda, my life felt so crazy, that I was surprised my hair hadn
’
t turned white from stress yet.
By the time my last class got out, I was relieved to just be getting out of there. I packed up my things and headed out as quickly as I could. Part of me moved fast because I just wanted to get home
—
I definitely wasn
’
t going to wait for Kass to find me today
—
but the other part of me was worried that Logan would be waiting for me after class, too.
I didn
’
t want to have another argument, and I didn
’
t want to see that hurt expression on his face anymore.
I walked quickly home that night, arms clutching at my books tightly. My phone was off, so I couldn
’
t text Kass to say I wouldn
’
t be waiting for her, but I had the feeling she would get the message when I wasn
’
t standing there.
That was assuming she had even gone to her last class that day, which was fifty-fifty as she had a tendency to ditch out on that one.
I got home just before seven that night, and opened the door quickly, stepping inside. I dragged my feet off the doormat, and kicked off my shoes, trying to drag in as little as I could from the outside. I took off my coat and threw it into the closet by the door, then stomped towards my room.
I didn
’
t want to see anyone or deal with anyone. All I wanted to do was go upstairs to my room and crash out for the night. I was dead tired, more so than I usually was, and the last thing I wanted was to deal with people, small talk, or questions.
Unfortunately, it didn
’
t seem like I was going to be getting what I wanted anytime soon. I found Kass in the kitchen before I reached the stairs towards my room. She was sitting at the island nursing a mug of what looked like either hot coffee or chocolate.