I let her lead me down the hall back to the kitchen. Logan
’
s mug was still sitting on the counter, half full of coffee and growing cold.
Kass lead me to a seat at the counter, then took away Logan
’
s mug. My eyes followed it for a while, until it disappeared into the washer to follow Kass
’
s. That
’
s when my eyes finally looked up at Kass
’
s face. Her expression was filled with concern.
“
Alright,
”
she said, her hands going to her hips.
“
It
’
s time to spill. What is going on? You
’
ve been acting really weird lately and then suddenly Logan
’
s at our table at lunch asking about you. And the proverbial cherry on the sundae, he shows up at our
apartment
after school? What
’
s this all about?
”
I didn
’
t say anything at first. This was about Logan, and how it was a mistake to start anything with him, but seemed to keep getting thrown together with him and despite the knowledge that this was all a mistake, I
liked
it. I wanted to keep seeing him again.
And maybe it was alright for me to talk about all of that with Kass. As long as I didn
’
t stray into dangerous territory of the past, I felt comfortable talking with her.
Biting my lip, I took one last moment to decide whether or not this was a good idea. I decided it was and I said,
“
We had a date last night.
”
Kass
’
s eyes went wide as shock overtook her features.
“
You
what
?!
”
she demanded.
“
How did I not
know
this? How long has this been going on? Why didn
’
t you
tell
me?!
”
When the barrage of questions stopped, I took a deep breath and tried my best to explain.
“
Not
…
long, exactly. Actually, I
’
m not even sure
what
’
s
going on. We went on a date, last night, and we kissed.
”
I didn
’
t mention the first kiss in the hallway or the way I
’
d felt him
…
harden beneath me at my defense class. No need to include the build up to how we wound up where we were now.
She gave a girl squeal of excitement at the mention of a kiss and immediately plopped down on the stool opposite me so that she could be more attentive.
“
How was it?
”
Amazing, I wanted to say. Hot and consuming and leaving me wanting far more than I was getting
—
which, I realized, was more the problem than anything else was going on. But instead, I smiled and nodded my head.
“
Good,
”
I said.
“
Really
good.
”
Kass
’
s eyes lit up with excitement.
“
Oh my gosh! I can
’
t believe I didn
’
t know this was going on! What else?
”
I shook my head.
“
Kass, this isn
’
t about the kiss or the date. It
’
s about how he
’
s the complete wrong guy for me.
”
She frowned. Tilting her head to the side, she asked,
“
Why, exactly? I mean, sure he
’
s got a bit of a bad boy reputation
…
and that whole thing with Lexie.
”
She shuddered.
“
Never mind,
”
she admitted, holding up a hand.
“
I totally get why he
’
s not your type.
”
I breathed a sigh of relief. That meant I didn
’
t have to tell her anything to explain what I was feeling, my reaction.
Thinking about it, she continued.
“
Actually, the only strange thing about it is why you said yes in the first place?
”
And that was a question much harder to explain.
But as it turned out, Kass wasn
’
t expecting an answer at all. Instead, she was understanding and sympathetic. Her response made me feel terrible for spending so much time
not
telling her.
It even made me consider that maybe I was wrong for not delving into the secrets of my past with her
…
But even as she got up off her stool and came over to me, enveloping me in the biggest embrace the tiny girl could muster, I knew that who I had been wasn
’
t something I could share with anyone. That girl was gone, dead and buried. I
’
d put her away and wouldn
’
t bring her back for anything.
Not even Kass.
Which meant I
definitely
wasn
’
t going to do it for Logan.
As Kass hugged me she said,
“
It
’
s okay, Addy. Your first bad boy is always your hardest.
”
I couldn
’
t help but laugh at that. She pulled away, glad to see I was laughing. I shook my head.
“
You
’
re pretty awesome, Kass,
”
I told her gratefully.
She beamed in response.
“
If you think you love me now, wait until you hear my awesome plan!
”
I groaned sensing that I was possibly on the verge of regretting my statement.
She waved off my groan of distress, pretending to be angry. But she gave me a wink and said,
“
I know this guy who
’
s going to be playing over at
Bella Luna
. He
’
s supposed to be pretty good,
”
she added in a singsong voice.
I rolled my eyes at her, shaking my head.
“
Bella Luna
is a bar,
”
I pointed out to Kass, but she was undeterred.
“
It
’
s fine. I know a guy that will let us in. All we have to do is promise not to get wasted,
”
she said dismissively.
“
And so long as we only ask Angel for drinks, we don
’
t even need fake IDs! We
’
re one hundred percent golden.
”
I eyed her suspiciously. Drinks, a bar, fake IDs, knowing a guy
…
It sounded like a lot of the trouble I wasn
’
t supposed to be getting myself into. In fact, it sounded like the trouble I was trying to avoid by staying away from Logan
…
Sensing my hesitation, Kass rolled her eyes at me and said,
“
Don
’
t
worry
. You can get a soda, and no one will say shit. A lot of people just come for the live bands anyway, so they won
’
t say boo to your non-alcoholic ways. Even if they are shameful.
”
At her last statement I laughed, shoving her playfully in the shoulder.
“
Alright, fine,
”
I conceded.
“
I could use a night out with friends, I guess.
”
“
That
’
s the spirit!
”
she called, enthusiastically.
“
This place is awesome, and the guy is supposed to be pretty cute.
”
She made a so-so motion with her hands, like she didn
’
t think so, but enough other people did that she could make the claim with confidence.
I grinned at her.
Maybe this would be fun
…
We took our time getting ready to go to the show that night. And by we, I mean that Kass had to veto almost every outfit I tried on, telling me that I needed to liven up my wardrobe a bit. Eventually, she was satisfied with a black sheath dress that I hadn
’
t worn since high school and a pair of heels that I had to borrow from her
—
all of mine were too modest, she decided.
Between that and hair and make-up, it was a miracle we made it to
Bella Luna
before the show started. But we did and just as promised, Kass did know a guy. He was the bouncer and was apparently fond enough of Kass that we bypassed much of the line, like VIPs, and went straight to him. It only took a couple of pleading words and the puppy eyes for him to roll his eyes at her, let out a resigned sigh, and let us in.
It seemed to me that most of their exchange was just for show, and that he likely would have let her in regardless of whether or not she pleaded with him, but I didn
’
t say anything about it. Instead, I followed her in silently, sending him a grateful smile before we dipped into the bar.
It wasn
’
t like I was expecting. It wasn
’
t really a nightclub full of people rocking out to weird techno music that was mostly just that booming sound in your ears, while bartenders sent a never ending line of drinks their way. It was a lot more casual than that, with some people dancing, some people watching the game playing on the televisions above the bar, and others picking at bar food as they chatted with friends.
It was a lot more low key than I would have guessed, and I decided quickly that I liked the place.
I followed Kass as she led the way expertly across the room. She made a beeline for a table near the back that was empty with a little folded sign on it that said reserved. I laughed at it, picking up the paper slip. It looked like one of those name tags you make in class when everyone
’
s still learning names.
“
Really?
”
I asked her, holding up the sign in question.
Kass shrugged her shoulders.
“
I told you, I know the guy who
’
s playing tonight. He wanted me here, so I said I
’
d be here. For moral support.
”
I laughed and shook my head.
“
And here I thought you were all about James,
”
I teased.
She made a horrified face, shaking her head adamantly.
“
Ew, and ew. Definitely
no
. James and I are perfect and this guy is
…
so not an option it
’
s not funny.
”
I laughed again. I thought she was being a little excessive about her lack of interest and declaration of such.
“
So, he
’
s an
ew
for you, but totally fine for me to date.
”
She rolled her eyes at me as we sat down.
“
Well, duh,
”
she said.
“
He
’
s my brother. I wouldn
’
t touch him with a ten foot pole. But he
’
s a nice guy, and all my female friends tell me he
’
s cute.
”
She made another face.
Ah, I thought. That would explain her clear disgust of him. It wasn
’
t a strike against him as dating material, just an acceptance of the fact that she couldn
’
t even
consider
him in that light without feeling grossed out.
“
Well, I
’
ll be the judge of that,
”
I told her, lifting up my nose and pretending to be snooty about it.
She laughed at me and nodded.
“
Be brutal,
”
she told me solemnly.
“
He could stand to be taken down a peg or two.
”