“Good,” Jessa said. “Now let’s get out of this stuffy, old cabin and go have a little fun. The kids are down and things should be getting interesting real soon.”
I didn’t know whether I should trust my sister or not, especially with our history. But somehow, I longed for that relationship and I always found myself giving Jessa another chance.
We walked outside. My heart swelled in my chest as I witnessed everyone hanging out, listening to music, and having a good time. That was the good thing about the cabin. It was entirely secluded.
I was sure that my father had planted prospects or soldiers for miles standing watch. I glanced around trying to find Ronin. No luck. I was disgusted with myself as I looked around, spotting the redheaded slut butted up next to some longhaired, greasy biker.
“Come on. I’ll introduce you to some of the boys.”
I followed my sister as she bounced through the crowd. I knew there were a hundred other things that I should be doing, but none of them seemed to matter at the moment. I took a swig of my beer and felt the muscles in my neck and shoulders begin to relax.
“Hey, Duke, give me a hit.”
“Jessa, where ya been girl?” The thin man wearing a dirty tee and Levi’s that appeared as if they could stand up on their own passed Jessa the remainder of the blunt.
She took a long hit before offering it to me.
“I’m good, thanks.”
“Shit,” the other man said, gawking at my forehead. “What the fuck happened?”
“Sorry guys, this is my sister Jo. Jo, this is Duke and Troy.”
Troy was tall and well built. He had a dirty blonde beard with long thick hair. I smiled. Just as I got ready to explain what happened to my head, Duke grinned.
“No shit? The infamous Jo Miller.”
I immediately looked to my sister, who tried to conceal a pained frown.
Troy shook his head. “Real sorry about what happened. The Pistol Kings started some shit they won’t be able to finish.”
“Yeah, can we talk about something else?” I finished off the rest of the bottle in one drink.
Troy’s bluish green eyes widened. “Beer!” He yelled. Tammy came running, unscrewing the cap and passing it to Troy like an offering – of herself.
My face fell as he ignored her pathetic display and handed it off to me. The four of us talked about Jericho and Stockton. We joked about Duke’s lack of personal hygiene.
The more I drank, the better my head felt. I tried to ignore the way everyone kept staring at me and checking on me as if I were a child. Ronin was now giving me death stares and Clint made his presence known by asking me to sing with him.
Normally, I would have refused immediately. But under the influence of chemical courage, I jumped up and started swaying to the music. That one little pill had nicked away at my inhibitions. All that kept running through my head was how much I wanted to tell Ronin to kiss my fucking ass.
Clint and I used to sing together when we were kids. We did talent shows together at school, and had even performed at the Jericho Jubilee a few times.
He played one of our favorite duets, “Stop Dragging My Heart Around” by Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty. As we sang, everyone stopped what they were doing to listen. Our voices melded together in perfect harmony.
I closed my eyes, channeling my inner Stevie. I unleashed the old Jolene, the one that I had spent years trying to kill off, telling myself that I was better off without my past.
Tears filled my eyes as the song ended. Ronin stood off by himself on the outskirts of the yard. His eyes were devouring me. The crowd erupted in applause and Clint bowed in my direction as if I had been a solo act.
“Oh stop.” I blushed. My cheeks flushed as I fought back the emotional flood, once again. I smiled and stumbled toward the house. As I drew closer, the steps appeared to be moving further away. The door shimmered like a mirage. My heart raced, yet felt like sludge pulsing through my veins at the same time.
“Ro …” My voice sounded muffled and distant.
“Right here, darlin.”
I heard the words right before I collapsed.
***
I attempted to swallow. My throat was dry and scratchy. My eyes were heavy and swollen. I rolled over and strained to sit up. My entire body ached. The wound on my head screamed at me relentlessly.
Pulling back the old quilt, I was shocked to realize that I was wearing nothing but my shirt and panties. As I planted both feet on the floor, a light tap on the door sent me scrambling for covers.
“Come in.”
Ruth cracked the door, peeking inside before opening it wider. “Got ya some coffee, baby girl.”
“Thanks.” I rubbed my hands over my puffy face. “What happened?”
My stepmom smirked. “You don’t remember?”
I shook my head, only to be met with a piercing pain shooting behind my eyeballs.
“Well, I guess you tied one on pretty good last night. Not a big deal. It happens to the best of us, and I’d say you were probably overdue.”
“I don’t remember going to bed.”
She chuckled. “Yeah, you wouldn’t. After you and Clint finished putting on a show …”
“What?” My eyes grew to the size of saucers.
“Yep, a standing ovation too.” Ruth winked. “When you finished, you headed to the house. I guess the alcohol caught up to you. Before you made it up the steps, you passed out. Thankfully, Ronin was close by. He caught you before you hit the ground.”
“Did he put me to bed?”
“No, he was a perfect gentleman. He brought you in and Jessa got you undressed. She even slept in here with you in case you needed help.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I know. I’m not sure what she’s up to, but I don’t know how to take it yet.”
We both grinned.
“Drink your coffee and take that Tylenol there. I put some fresh towels in the bathroom. Get a shower and you’ll feel like a new woman.”
Ruth left me to get cleaned up. I picked up the capsules, sparking the image of the OxyContin that I had taken the night before.
What the hell was I thinking
?
“What the hell were you thinking?”
Startled, I stumbled backwards and fell over onto the bed, dropping the quilt. “Get out!”
Ronin’s muscular frame filled the doorway before he entered and closed it behind him.
“No, not until I find out what the hell’s gotten into you.”
I swaddled the cover around my waist. “I don’t have to explain myself to you,” I said defiantly.
“Like hell!” His deep voice echoed across the room. He glanced back at the door to make sure no one was coming before inhaling, lowering his voice to a whisper. “What could you possibly be thinking, mixing drugs and alcohol? Yeah, I can still spot it, Jo. Come on, you’re smarter than that. And don’t think I’m not gonna kick Jess’s ass for giving you the dope.”
I jumped up from the bed. “You can’t do that. She was only trying to help. My head was killing me from the brick episode yesterday. She’s actually been very helpful.”
He waved his hands wildly through the air. “Yeah, so helpful that you’re drunk, high, and flirting with anyone who’ll pay attention.”
“Is that what this is about?”
He clenched his jaw.
I narrowed my eyes. “It’s not like we’re together or something. Besides, it’s pretty convenient that your redheaded tramp is here, right? Isn’t that where you were the other night?”
He jerked his head backwards as if I had just slapped him across the face. “It’s not like that. I’m not sleeping with her. I got drunk and passed out on her couch.”
I wet my dry lips, fighting the urge to throw up. “That doesn’t change why you went there in the first place. And don’t worry about me. Angela would make a great old lady. I’d jump on that shit if I was you.”
“Dammit, I don’t want her. I never did. She’s only here because she’s my fucking alibi. The one and only time I was thankful that I listened to my dick. I have to keep her alive or there goes my get out of jail free card.”
I pondered on his words, not that I should care. It was impossible for us to be together. It shouldn’t matter to me who the hell he’s sleeping with. I pulled the quilt tighter and sat back down on the bed.
Ronin leaned against the wall, folding his arms across his wide chest.
“Look,” I said, gazing up at him. “We have to stop all of the bullshit. We’re not a couple. We have no say over each other’s lives. It’s time to focus on your defense and leave all of the emotional baggage out of it. We have to deal with one thing at a time.”
He dropped his head, shuffling his feet. “Yeah, I guess that would be best.” He pulled his lips into a lopsided grin, revealing delectable dimples nestled deep in his beard. “Of course that means when you call out my name right before you pass out, I don’t have to come.”
I rolled my eyes. Out of all the names that I could have pulled from a hat, I had to call for Ronin.
“No, you don’t. But you will. You always will.”
The little lines around his dark eyes softened. Blood rushed through my body as our gazes remained locked on one another. My breath stalled in my throat, rendering me unable to speak when Clint knocked on the door.
“Mount up, brother. We ride in ten,” he said from the hallway.
I noticed the long blink from Ronin, indicating his disappointment. He didn’t say anything. He simply placed his large hand over his heart.
It felt as if an eternity had passed before he finally walked out of the room, leaving me alone with my own heart splattered into pieces on the floor.
Why was this so hard?
I managed to drag my aching body to the shower. The hot water caressing my sensitive flesh. I wasn’t looking forward to my to-do list for the day, but it had to be done.
I threw on a pair of jeans and an old thermal Harley top, pulled my hair into a ponytail, and set out to track down another cup of coffee.
“Well, there she is,” Ruth said, hopping up from her seat as if she could read my mind. “Baileys?”
“What kind of silly question is that?” I sucked it up and smiled at the room of women. “What can I help with?”
“Not a thing, hun. The girls are just finishing up the breakfast burritos for the rest of the boys outside. Our crew left out on some business.”
“Yeah, I have some business of my own to take care of today.”
Jessa walked in on the tail end of my sentence. “Thought you might. We set you up an area in the living room for your interviews.”
“Awesome, thanks.” If I didn’t know better, I would swear that my sister had been abducted by aliens, really nice and appeasing aliens. Not that I’m complaining.
Tammy topped off my coffee while Ruth and Bonnie ran food outside. I wasn’t thrilled to be put in such an awkward position. I eyed the scantily clad redhead at the sink who was rinsing dishes while Patsy washed.
“I’ll need to start with you, Angela. When you’re done, meet me in the living room.”
“Whatever.”
I had expected the response, but Jessa wasn’t having it. She grabbed the girl’s shoulder and spun her around.
“Drop the attitude, bitch. You’re here for one reason and one reason only. Don’t make me cut that reason short.”
Angela popped her cherry red lips and rolled her eyes. “You’re just pissed that Ronin passed you over for me.”
As the words left her mouth, the backside of Jessa’s hand came crashing down.
“Shit!” Angela cried out. Patsy jumped, throwing soapy water across the counter and floor before finding the closest corner. The rest of the girls scattered.
“Don’t you ever fucking talk to me like that. Next time, I’ll have to teach you a lesson. Get this shit cleaned up and get your skanky ass in the living room.”
Angela huffed, but did as she was instructed.
“What the hell was that all about?” I asked.
“You can’t let these bitches talk down to you like that, Jo. They’re looking for a dick to ride to the top. Make your position known.”
“No, not that. What’s she talking about with you and Ronin?”
Jessa squirmed in her seat, fishing for a cigarette. “She’s just talking shit.”
“Is she?”
Jessa leaned across the table. “You don’t wanna do this. I’m in a good place right now. Let’s just leave it at that before shit turns ugly.”
I eyed my sister. She had been acting differently since arriving at the cabin, but the old Jessa was still lurking, ready to snap. I thought it was best to take Ruth’s advice and pick my battles.
“We’ll get back to this later,” I said as I grabbed my coffee and settled into my makeshift office.
I unloaded my files and gathered supplies. It was going to be a long day of questioning in preparation for affidavits.
Angela sat in the rocking chair on the other side of the table. She lit a cigarette and blew a mouthful of smoke in my direction.
“You’re seriously going to be a bitch about this?”
She smugly took another drag and blew the smoke across the room. “The way I see it, I don’t have to do anything any of you say. You need me, not the other way around.”