You Are My Sunshine: A Novel Of The Holocaust (All My Love Detrick Companion Novel) (47 page)

“Oh, and what is that? And how did our entire race
of people fail God so badly that we ended up under Hitler’s thumb, marching off to death camps? You tell me smart boy, you have all the answers.”

“I don’t have all the answers. I wish I did. But I will tell you this. I believe that God expects us to stand by him and to know that he is there for us.”

“And was he there for the poor souls as they walked into the gas chambers at Treblinka? I watched them Isaac. I saw it with my own eyes.” Shlomie said, “I cleaned the ashes from the crematorium with bits of bone and teeth mixed in. I saw little children tortured…what was that, Isaac? Why did God allow that?”

“I don’t know Shlomie, I don’t have the answers. I can’t tell you. All I know is that I believe. And I don’t think that God was responsible for what happened in Treblinka. It was the Nazi’s.”

“Ech isn’t your God stronger than Hitler?”

“Yes, and he must have a reason for allowing this to happen. I don’t know the reason. Maybe someday I will but I don’t know it now. I only know that there is a God and he is here with us in this
forest and regardless of what we have lost; we three are blessed because we are alive.”

“Please, let’s try to get along. I realize that it’s difficult,
because we are together all the time. But, we have to try to make the best of it, alright? This arguing and fighting is not good for any of us.” Zofia said.

Both men nodded.

“Then we are all in agreement.” She smiled.

Chapter
76

In the morning, Isaac took his bow and arrow and went out to hunt. He needed the time alone. Sometimes it seemed as if he had to exercise all the self-control he had not to beat the hell out of Shlomie, obviously, Shlomie harbored feeling of jealousy. He’d been in love with Zofia too, but she chose Isaac and now he constantly found reasons to pick on everything Isaac said or did.  The sun broke through the trees, in mid March the weather was still cool, but not nearly as bad as it had been a month earlier. Isaac was lost in thought. He wished that he could make love to Zofia. He yearned to feel her body pressed against his own, to feel the heat of her breath on his neck. How he loved her with every beat of his heart.  A large black bird flapped its wings as it took flight above him. Isaac looked up. When he looked back down four German soldiers stood in front of him with their guns drawn. 

Chapter
77

Isaac did not return that afternoon or that evening to the little campsite where he’d left Zofia and Shlomie. Zofia kept watching for him to appear through the trees, wearing his big smile carrying a kill he’d made for dinner that night. But as time passed, she began to panic. Darkness began her decent upon the forest bringing with it the dreadful fear of disaster.

“Shlomie
, Isaac is never gone this long when he goes out hunting. Something is not right.”

“I hope he wasn’t shot
, or caught by a German.”

Z
ofia was already pacing the forest floor in panic.

“O
h Dear God, no, not my Isaac!” She cried reaching her arms up to the sky. “Please God; please send him back to me.”

Shlomie had been sitting with his back against a tree. He too had begun t
o fear the worst. He walked over and hugged Zofia. “He’ll be alright. It’s Isaac he’s strong. The strongest man I know. He’ll be back soon.” But he didn’t believe it himself. Isaac never stayed away for an entire day without telling them that he planned to be gone for a long time.

All through the
night, Zofia sat awake, trembling with fear.

“I have to go and see if I can find him.” She said.

“In the morning, you can’t see anything at night it’s too dark. Stay here with me and as soon as the sun comes up I’ll go with you.” Shlomie said.

Z
ofia waited for dawn, barely able to contain her nerves.  As each hour passed, she grew more alarmed. What could have happened? Was he killed, would she and Shlomie even find his body in the morning? Was he hurt and alone in the darkness. She wrapped her arms around herself. “Isaac” she whispered. “I love you. Where ever you are I hope you can hear me.” Tears streamed down her face. And she rocked back and forth until finally the light of the morning broke through the darkness.

Shlomie had not slept either.
He‘d sat through the night without speaking, not knowing what to say. Now he got up and took her hand to help her to her feet.

“Come, we’ll
go together and find Isaac.” He said.

All day they searched. First they walked in one direction and then another. Then they went back to the original area where they’d set up camp to see if he returned, but there was no sign
of him.

Every day for a week, the
y continued to look for Isaac. Zofia began to lose heart. She could not eat or sleep. Shlomie went fishing, and brought back two small fish, but when he cooked them over an open fire and offered them to her, she shook her head.

“If something has happened to him,
then you must accept it. You have no control over this. And, Zofia, so many people have lost so much. You can’t just stop living now, you can’t just give up, and there must be someone waiting for you once the war is over. Your parents, perhaps?” Shlomie said trying to offer some comfort.

“No, my parents are dead.” Z
ofia said. “But there is someone, my daughter, my Eidel. She will need me.”

“Yes. And for her sake, you must try to stay alive.”

Zofia nodded, her heart heavy with grief, with a sadness darker than any she’d known before. There was no doubt Zofia had suffered loss, terrible loss, but no loss matched this one. She wanted to die, longed to just give up and die. But she’d come so far, and soon, very soon, she would be reunited with Eidel, who needed her mother. . At first, the food would not go down her throat, and much of it was regurgitated, but little by little Zofia began to eat small amounts chewing slowly and with every bite, she thought of her child.

The days passed into weeks as
the weather grew warmer. One afternoon Zofia and Shlomie were crossing the road to steal strawberries from a neighboring farm.  Since Isaac had disappeared, Zofia had become less cautious. Just then, an army truck came barreling down the dirt road. Shlomie and Zofia were paralyzed with fear until they looked further. Hanging from the side of the truck was a sight that made them both gasp, the red, white, and blue American flag. Americans! The allies were here. Right here, in front of them, right this minute, right now.

Shlomie cried out to the
soldiers waving his arms in the air. The American’s pulled over and stopped the truck.

“Help us, please, help us
… We are Jews running away from the Nazi’s,” Shlomie said and both he and Zofia ran towards the truck.

A tall handsome man in his early twenties
athletically built wearing the uniform of the American army jumped with ease off the back of the vehicle.

“W
e are American’s.” he said. “The war is over. Hitler surrendered last week. Come on, get in we’ll take you to refugee camp with a hospital where you can get yourself some food and medical care.”

Shlomie turned
to Zofia. He began to cry. She patted his arm, stunned. The Americans had arrived!

The Americ
an extended his hand to help Zofia up into the truck, then again to Shlomie.

As the vehicle rocked along the dirt
road, Zofia thought of Isaac. She would have given her own life to have him sitting in the back of this army truck, safe and alive. They drove past the forest and the farms where she had spent the last several years of her life. It all seemed like a dream. She folded her hands together in her lap and squeezed trying to grasp the reality.

“Where are we
, what country are we in?” Shlomie asked. They’d walked so far and for so many months.

“You’re in Germany.
In a few minutes we’ll be entering Berlin.” One of the soldiers answered.

As th
ey drove through Berlin they were surrounded by bombed out buildings. Russian troops filled the streets as well as American’s and British.

They arrived at a large make shift
camp.  A few Red Cross trucks sat parked surrounding a tented area. Nurses in white uniforms scattered about carrying food and medicine. Men and women in concentration camp uniforms wandered aimlessly or sat against the walls of the buildings.  Even though the camp had been liberated and the prisoners set free, many of the survivors had no place to go, no families, no friends, no homes.   The Red Cross set up hospitals, for the sick or injured, inside what once was the Nazi officer’s quarters, but there were so many people in dire need that caring for all of them was a constant struggle and many waited in line for help. Zofia looked around; she saw a group of men dirty and half-naked, sitting against a building with their rib cages so pronounced that they protruded from their bodies. Their arms and legs were so skinny that they were the size of a normal wrist. Dead bodies lay in corners covered with masses of flies, their numbers increasing daily. The stench of death, urine and feces, hung like a cloud of misery over the area.

At the front
of the tent stood a folding table with two chairs occupied by two volunteers one a survivor the other a Red Cross worker. Then a long line of people waiting for help had circled around the tent.  The American soldier who had brought Shlomie and Zofia to the camp pointed to the line of people.

“You ought
to get in to that line right there. That’s where you gotta go to find out if any of your family have come in and registered at this camp here. They have a list of folks come lookin’ for their families. Might be someone you know come through here already.” The well-fed American looked at Zofia with compassion.

Z
ofia’s heart leapt. Could Isaac be on that list? Was it possible he might be alive and searching for her? OH Dear God, anything could be possible.

“You might want to get you
something to eat first. The line looks pretty damn long.” The soldier said. Zofia saw the sympathy in his eyes. She knew she was dirty and painfully thin.

“Thank you.” She said. “Thank you so much for bringing us here
, to this camp.”

Shlomie nodded. “Yes, thank you.”

“We seen some terrible things comin’ over here to Europe, the likes of which I ain’t never seen before in my life.” One of the other soldiers with a slight twang to his voice said. “We liberated one of them concentration camps. Was the first one’s in after the Nazi’s tucked their tails between their legs and ran. Well, I’ll tell you, I ain’t never seen nothing like it. If I live for a hundred years them horrible sights will stay in my mind.”  He shook his head and looked as if he might vomit.

The other soldier jumped
off the truck and lifted Zofia by the waist then put her down on the ground. He helped Shlomie off the truck.

“There’s food right
over there.” He indicated with his hand.

“Thank you again.” Z
ofia said.

The soldier nodded, got back into the truck and the truck pulled away.

“Let’s get something to eat.” Shlomie said

“I can’t eat. I have to get into the line
first to see if Isaac has been here, maybe he has put his name on the list.”

“You can do it afterwards.”

“No, you go ahead. I have to do it now.”

“How about if I bring you something and you can eat while you wait in line?”  Shlomie
said.

“Oh yes, that would be wonderful, thank you Shlomie.
”

“I’ll go and get in line for food. You get in line
over here. AS soon as I get something to eat I’ll find you and bring it to you.”

Hours passed. Z
ofia stood in line. It seemed as if there might be a million lost and frantic people in search of loved ones, hoping that somehow, someone they knew had survived.  Refugees continued to pour into the camp every hour it seemed.  And, the lines continued to grow. The smell of unwashed bodies and perspiration mingled with the smell of desperation as people cried out in anguish when they learned that their loved ones had not registered or worse were listed as dead.

It took Shlomie over three hours to return with a hunk
of bread and a bowl of soup for Zofia. She ate it while they stood in line, Shlomie beside her, the two of them waiting to find out if there had been any news of Isaac.  The lists grew constantly one list of those who’d been displaced and the other a list of the murdered. Because of the ever-growing crowds, it was hard to maintain organization. So, many people returned to the line day after day in case a loved one had been found since the last time they’d checked.

Finally, it was almost eight that evening when Z
ofia came to the front of the line and stood before the two women who’d been working all day looking up names. She could see that they were weary ready to retire for the night. This made her doubt how thoroughly they checked the endless lists of papers.

“Who are you looking for?” The woman asked.