You Must Change Your Life (45 page)

225
   
“swooning admirers”:
Quoted in Derek Parker,
Nijinsky: God of the Dance
. Wellingborough: Equation, 1988, 125.

225
   
“It is inconceivable”:
FG, 606.

225
   
“Next door in the”:
RSG, 472.

226
   
“war council” . . . “taking this”:
JA, 601.

226
   
“someone had wilfully”:
Sjeng Scheijen,
Diaghilev: A Life
. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2010, 249.

227
   
“But I was luckily there!” . . . “And I had pistols”:
FG, 600.

228
   
“It is unendurable”:
RSG, 458.

228
   
Mon chat:
LYR, 56.

229
   
“nothing” . . . “exercised too great”:
“Rodin and Duchess Quarrel,”
New York Times
. September 16, 1912.

229
   
“delivered of its”:
RSG, 474.

229
   
“frightful”:
To Princess Marie von Thurn und Taxis, March 21, 1913.

229
   
“I have ceased to live”:
RSG, 474.

229
   
“grotesque and ridiculous”:
To Lou Andreas-Salomé, December 28, 1911.

229
   
“If you could only see her.”:
RSG, 474.

229
   
“Show Madame out!”:
FG, 608.

229
   
“I am like a man”:
Mary McAuliffe,
Twilight of the Belle Epoque: The Paris of Picasso, Stravinsky, Proust
. Lanham: Rowman & Littlefield, 2014, 231.

230
   
“moist red mouth” and “tranquil”:
Denys Sutton,
Triumphant Satyr
: The World of Auguste Rodin. New York: Hawthorn, 1966, 80.

PART THREE
•
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

233
   
“a young but already” . . . “taciturn”:
Sigmund Freud, “On Transience.” In
Writings on Art and Literature
. Redwood City, CA: Stanford University Press, 1997, 176.

234
   
“the extraordinary and rare”:
Julia Vickers,
Lou von Salomé: A Biography of the Woman Who Inspired Freud, Nietzsche and Rilke
. Jefferson, NC: McFarland, 2008, 159.

234
   
“since the only thing I”:
LB, 104.

235
   
“there was nowhere”:
Lou Andreas-Salomé,
The Freud Journal
. New York: Basic Books, 1964, 169.

235
   
“over his break with”:
Lou Andreas-Salomé,
The Erotic
. New Brunswick and London: Transaction, 2012, 24.

235
   
“Have you really met the poet”:
Anna Freud,
Gedichte, Prosa
, Übersetzungen. Wien, Köln, Weimar: Böhlau Verlag, 2014, 48. [From the German: “
Hast Du in München wirklich den Dichter Rilke kennengelernt? Wieso? Und wie ist er?
”]

235
   
“otherwise have loved”:
Sigmund Freud, “On Transience.”
Writings on Art and Literature
. Redwood City, CA: Stanford University Press, 1997, 176.

236
   
“robbed the world” . . . “on firmer ground”:
Sigmund Freud, “On Transience.”
Writings on Art and Literature
. Redwood City, CA: Stanford University Press, 1997, 178–179.

236
   
“. . . For beauty is nothing”:
Rainer Maria Rilke,
The Poetry of Rilke
. Translated by Edward Snow. New York: Macmillan, 2009, 283.

236
   
“featureless, outspread”:
The Letters of Rainer Maria Rilke and Princess Marie Von Thurn und Taxis
. New York: New Directions, 1958, 21.

237
   
“The experience with Rodin”:
To Princess Marie von Thurn und Taxis, July 12, 1912.

237
   
“uncongenial” . . . “in places hair-raising”:
To Lou Andreas-Salomé, January 20, 1912.

237
   
“at last met his” . . . “Rilke was not to”:
Sigmund Freud and Lou Andreas-Salomé,
Letters
. Edited by Ernst Pfeiffer. Translated by William and Elaine Robson-Scott. New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1966, 39.

237
   
“Dear Lou”:
To Lou Andreas-Salomé, December 28, 1911.

238
   
“Who, if I cried out”:
Rainer Maria Rilke,
Duino Elegies and Sonnets to Orpheus
. Translated by Stephen Mitchell. New York: Random House, 2009, 3.

238
   
“The voice which”:
The Letters of Rainer Maria Rilke and Princess Marie Von Thurn und Taxis
. New York: New Directions, 1958, 30.

239
   
“really nothing but a”:
To Viktor Emil von Gebsattel, January 14, 1912.

239
   
“noncreative”:
To Viktor Emil von Gebsattel, January 24, 1912.

239
   
“remembered” . . . “put on exhibit with”:
Lou Andreas-Salomé,
The Freud Journal
. New York: Basic Books, 1964, 184.

240
   
“I never dared hope”:
LP, 364.

240
   
“not want to hear”:
The Letters of Rainer Maria Rilke and Princess Marie Von Thurn und Taxis
. New York: New Directions, 1958, 95.

241
   
“He can't be counted”:
LP, 364.

241
   
“as unexpected” . . . “probably final”:
LP, 365.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

243
   
“in terror and in rapture” . . .“Assyrian character”:
CF, 184.

244
   
“immense shadow”:
CF, 186.

244
   
“Who indeed would dare”:
CF, 161.

244
   
“The artists who built this”:
CF, 160.

244
   
“a sick France”:
CF, 118.

244
   
“a prophet conducting”:
FG, 619.

244
   
“Who can believe” . . . “We should long ago”:
CF, 245.

245
   
“goes out of his way”:
FG, 620.

245
   
“vibrant notes”:
FG, 621.

245
   
“so hopeless” . . . “I wish we had not”:
Magda von Hattingberg,
Rilke and Benvenuta
. Translated by Cyrus Brooks. New York: W. W. Norton, 1949, 66.

246
   
“Deep in himself”:
To Lou Andreas-Salomé, August 8, 1903.

246
   
“But to make” . . . “And once something”:
To Clara Westhoff, September 5, 1902.

246
   
“airless, loveless” . . . “in a withered”:
LP, 378.

246
   
“Why leave all this?”:
FG, 596.

247
   
“still feelable heart” . . . “painfully buried-alive”:
RAS, 244.

247
   
“Perhaps I shall now”:
To Princess Marie von Thurn und Taxis, August 30, 1910.

247
   
“which surely must come”:
RAS, 242.

247
   
“Work of the eyes”:
Rainer Maria Rilke,
The Selected Poetry of Rainer Maria Rilke
. Translated by Stephen Mitchell. New York: Vintage, 1989, 313.

248
   
“as the child he was”:
Nora Wydenbruck,
Rilke, Man and Poet: A Biographical Study
. Westport, CT: Greenwood: 1950, 264.

249
   
“He turned pale”:
RSG, 496.

250
   
“One will say”:
RSG, 496.

250
   
“This is more than a war”:
Ruth Butler,
Hidden in the Shadow of the Master
. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 2008, 300.

250
   
“How could I do”:
FG, 613.

250
   
“masterpiece”:
Albert E. Elsen,
Rodin's Art: The Rodin Collection of Iris and B. Gerald Cantor Center of Visual Arts at Stanford University
. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2003, 490.

251
   
“no less astounding:”
Nora Wydenbruck,
Rilke, Man and Poet: A Biographical Study
. Westport, CT: Greenwood Press: 1950, 269.

251
   
“whisked off to”:
RAS, 273.

251
   
“I'm scared, scared”:
Quoted in LP, 406.

251
   
“hero grooming”:
LP, 407.

252
   
“Industriously he drew”:
Nora Wydenbruck,
Rilke, Man and Poet: A Biographical Study
. Westport, CT: Greenwood Press: 1950, 278.

252
   
“tired; the war overawed”:
LYR, 145.

252
   
“I don't the least mind”:
LYR, 188.

252
   
“like a statue” . . . “I'm all alone”:
LYR, 192.

253
   
“his Three Fates”:
LYR, 216.

253
   
“And people say that Puvis”:
Judith Cladel,
Rodin
. Translated by James Whitall. New York: Harcourt, Brace and Co., 1937, 328.

253
   
“wholly desolate without”:
LP, 416.

254
   
“Like me you will be steeped”:
To Clara Westhoff, November 19, 1917.

254
   
“return from the preoccupations”:
Sylvia Beach, “A Musee Rodin in Paris.”
The International Studio
, volume 62, 1917, xlii–xliv.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

255
   
“I have behind me so many”:
To Helene von Nostitz, January 27, 1914.

255
   
“hand plate”:
Patricia Pollock Brodsky,
Rainer Maria Rilke
. Boston: Twayne, 1988, 35.

257
   
“extreme pedantry”:
Nicholas Fox Weber,
Balthus: A Biography
. New York: Knopf, 1999, 41.

258
   
“Does anyone know” . . . “Cats are just”:
Balthus,
Mitsou: Quarante Images
.
Preface by Rainer Maria Rilke. Translated by Richard Miller. New York: Metropolitan Museum of Art, 1984, 9.

258
   
“astounding and almost”:
Sabine Rewald,
Balthus
. New York: Metropolitan Museum of Art, 1984, 13.

258
   
“Madame” . . . “full of praise”:
Nicholas Fox Weber,
Balthus: A Biography
. New York: Knopf, 1999, 19.

258
   
“a wonderful man—” . . . “an entirely parallel”:
Nicholas Fox Weber,
Balthus: A Biography
. New York: Knopf, 1999, 42.

259
   
“storm of spirit”:
Quoted in Donald A. Prater, A Ringing Glass: The Life of Rainer Maria Rilke. Oxford, UK: Clarendon Press, 1986, 347.

259
   
“I have a great desire”:
Rainer Maria Rilke,
Briefe, 1914 bis 1926
. Insel-Verlag, 1950, 509. [From the French: “
J'ai grande envie de ne rien affirmer. Si vous vous imaginiez qu'un mauvais sorcier m'a changé en tortue, vous seriez tout prés de la réalité: je porte une forte et solide carapace d'une indifference à toute épreuve
. . .”]

259
   
“But we are human beings”:
Quoted in Donald A. Prater,
A Ringing Glass: The Life of Rainer Maria Rilke
. Oxford, UK: Clarendon Press, 1986, 320.

259
   
“He's beginning to have” . . . “René, he'll be”:
Nicholas Fox Weber,
Balthus: A Biography
. New York: Knopf, 1999, 102.

260
   
“the same haughty”:
Nicholas Fox Weber,
Balthus: A Biography
. New York: Knopf, 1999, 51.

260
   
“H.M. The King of Cats”:
Sabine Rewald,
Balthus
. New York: Metropolitan Museum of Art, 1984, 62.

260
   
“She was in a window” . . . “to live seemed”:
Rainer Maria Rilke,
The Roses and the Windows
. Translated by A. Poulin, Jr. Minneapolis: Graywolf Press, 1979, 95.

261
   
“. . . O, wanting to”:
Quoted in Ritchie Robertson, “From Naturalism to National Socialism.” In
The Cambridge History of German Literature
. Edited by Helen Watanabe-O'Kelly. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1997, 351.

262
   
“frontier of consciousness”:
J. F. Hendry,
The Sacred Threshold: A Life of Rainer Maria Rilke
. Manchester, UK: Carcanet New Press, 1983, 149.

262
   
“tender and open”:
William H. Gass,
Reading Rilke: Reflections on the Problems of Translation
. New York: Knopf, 1999, 187.

262
   
“Come, you last” . . . “Don't mix”:
Rainer Maria Rilke,
Uncollected Poems
. Translated by Edward Snow. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1996, 251.

263
   
“Your part of this”:
Rainer Maria Rilke, Balthus,
Rilke-Balthus: Lettres à un Jeune Peintre Suivi de Mitsou Quarante Images par Balthus
. Paris: Somogy Èditions d'Art, 1998, 27. [From the French:
Votre part à cette oeuvre était toute travail et douleur; la mienne sera mince et elle ne sera que plaisir
.]

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