Zombie Lover (12 page)

"No female of my kind will associate with me. That is one reason I accepted this position."

i CAN MAKE THIS FEMALE ASSOCIATE WITH YOU, Com Pewter offered.

"No!" Breanna cried, suddenly really truly awfully alarmed. "I'm only fifteen! I'm only fifteen!"

I CAN STORE HER IN THE BACK OF THE CAVE FOR THREE YEARS UNTIL SHE COMES OF AGE. THERE IS PLENTY OF GRUEL AND WATER TO FEED HER.

"No!" Breanna screamed. "You can't—"

FEMALE IS SILENT.

She was unable to speak. What an awful turn this had taken! She was escaping the zombie only to be caught by a troll.

"Let her go," Tristan said. "If I believed in abusing children, I would never have gotten in trouble with my kind. She has come on legitimate business, and should be allowed to complete it."

The screen made a flicker of resignation. FEMALE RESUMES DIALOG.

Breanna was free to talk again. She wanted to protest that she was no child, but thought the better of it. She really appreciated the troll's decency. "So Com Passion needs a partner to play cards with. I thought you might like to do that." She hoped.

"This is interesting," Tristan said. "We did not know of this entity. Perhaps we can set up a data link."

"I guess. I'm not exactly sure how you do that."

"By changing reality," the troll said. "I can work it out in theory, and Pewter can implement it."

GET THE GUI, Pewter's screen printed.

Tristan went to the back of the cave, and came back with a double handful of goo. He lifted it high, letting it stretch down in a gooey sheet along the wall. "This is a graphical user interface," he explained. "It helps show what you are dealing with."

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"Uh, sure," Breanna agreed faintly as the goo covered the entire stone surface, making it glisten.

Tristan stepped back, wiping his hands. "The GUI is in place," he reported.

Suddenly the wall of the cave became a huge window. There were Com Passion and Mouse Terian, glancing across in surprise.

"I have found you a solitaire partner who can play to victory," Breanna said, not letting the moment escape. "This is Com Pewter, and his troll-mouse Tristan."

ffijp s£s>a'x//r. Passion's screen printed.

' 'Tristan, if you would demonstrate a Free Cell win for Com Passion ..."

The cards appeared, and the troll swiftly dealt and played and won.

Terian assumed girl form and clapped her hands. "How thrilling!" she exclaimed. "Now we can do it too."

Tristan gazed at her, his eyes traveling down in an hourglass pattern. It was true: Passion's mouse did have that type of figure, in her nymphly aspect. The germ of a notion wiggled into Breanna's mind.

Soon Terian was dealing and playing, buttressed by Passion, and won.

"That's very nice," Tristan said, still gazing at Terian.

Terian smiled at him. "Thank you."

Breanna realized two things: one was that there might be a future

*^-
  
c?

in the interaction of the two mice, because though they were of different origin species, they had similar positions and would surely understand each other. If the one was lonely, surely the other was lonely too. The other realization was that the two computers would have no further reason to associate, once both knew how to win all the types of card games. So they would separate, that being the logical unimaginative course, and Com Passion would be lonely again. Her nice mouse would be lonely too. Breanna decided that she ought to do something about that. She had a romantic nature. After all, Tristan was smart and decent, and Terian was lovely in her human image; what more was required?

"Solitaire can be interactive," Breanna said, remembering. "For example, Klondike: deal two decks opposite each other, and either player can play on the other's ace piles. Whoever finishes first wins, and you can't be sure who that will be."

The two tables merged at the interface, with Tristan at one, and

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Terian at the other, facing each other. Terian's decolletage seemed to be lower than before, especially when she leaned forward, and Tristan seemed to be standing taller. They dealt out their hands of Klondike and played rapidly. Soon they were playing on each other's aces. The cards had no trouble crossing the barrier of the screen, as they were mere images themselves.

Both games blocked up. That was the thing about Klondike: much of it was the luck of the draw, so that no amount of skill or strategy could prevail. But Breanna seemed to remember that Double Klondike was more winnable than Single Klondike.

They played again, and this time it was evident that there was going to be a victory. Tristan was leading.

Breanna thought of something. She squatted down by Pewter's screen. "It might be more interesting if you arrange to lose," she murmured.

A question mark appeared on the screen.

"Trust me," she said.

Tristan had surged ahead, and was about to place his final card on a pile. But he hesitated, and Terian was able to place her last card first.

"Oh, you let me win," Terian said, blushing. "How romantic!" She threw a kiss at him. The kiss passed right through the interface and landed on his mouth.

Tristan stepped back, looking stunned. Pewter's screen became a series of exploding spirals intermixed with hearts, spades, diamonds, and clubs.

"Of course you know that was really Com Passion kissing you," Breanna murmured to the machine. "In her fashion. She's very romantic. If you want more of that son of thing, you have a notion how to behave."

The screen slowly coalesced into a single large heart. Pewter was definitely interested. Meanwhile the two mice were staring at each other in wild surmise. His mouth was open in awe, and her bosom was gently heaving. They might have wildly different origins, but they were indeed well matched in the context. If the machines wanted to find out what love was like, they had only to give their helpers leeway.

Breanna looked across to Com Passion. "I think I'll go now. I think I have fulfilled my commitment."

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e/ear air/. Passion's screen scripted.

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/> rt€ea a /aiwr, c#me fo me.

"Thank you," Breanna said, gratified. She caught Terian's glance and winked, and was pleased to see the lady mouse blush. Yes, this was definitely working out.

She walked out of the cave. She didn't care if there were zombies in the vicinity, because she knew she was now much closer to the Good Magician's castle than she had been, and could reach it before dawn, and the zombies wouldn't even know she was there.

Yes, taken as a whole, this night was well worthwhile. Breanna set her face east and began to walk.

4

DREAM CHASE

T

he three kings followed Millie up the winding stairway. This gave them an excellent view of her posterior, reminding Bink forcibly of her talent of sex appeal. In this rejuvenated state he noticed such things, and it tended to catch him off guard. He wasn't eighty one anymore, physically. So, to avoid the embarrassment of an untoward thought, he focused his attention elsewhere.

He heard a faint moan. He would not have been aware of it, had he not been trying to avoid what was in front of his nose. He had not heard a moan quite like that before, and it bothered him.

4'What is that?" he asked.

"If you don't know, you're a lot less man than you look," the stair right under Millie's rump said.

"I heard something," Bink said quickly. "Like a moan, to the side."

Millie paused. "Oh, that's the blob. The zombies brought it in, and Jonathan tried to rescue it, but all it does is suffer."

"It suffers? Maybe we could give it some healing elixir."

"We tried that, but that doesn't seem to be the problem. We don't know what to do."

"Maybe I should look at it." Bink's interest was only partial, but he had to finish what he had started.

"By all means." Millie led the way down a side passage, to an end chamber.

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There it was, as described: a blob. It might have had the size of a man if shaped that way. but it just hunkered down into a quivering mass. There were splotchy colors on its surface. Overall it wasn't very appealing.

"Hello," Bink said. "Are you sentient?"

The thing merely groaned again. Bink wasn't sure how it groaned, as it seemed to have no mouth. But of course the inanimate had no trouble speaking in Dor's presence, not needing any mouth either. All things were possible, with sufficient magic.

"It does seem to be alive," Dor said. "But without eyes or ears or whatever."

"I'd be miserable too, in that state," Dolph said.

The matter continued to bother Bink. "If it's not injured or unhealthy, this must be its natural state. But it obviously isn't happy. Could it be something that's gone wrong? That was meant to be a regular creature, but didn't get there? Maybe if we could figure out what it is meant to be, we could help it."

"That would be nice," Millie agreed. "We hate to see it suffer, but we don't feel free to throw it out."

There was nothing to be done here, so they moved on. Bink tried to put the matter out of his thoughts, but it kept bobbing back into them. If there was no other way. he would go to Good Magician Humfrey himself and ask what to do about the blob. But right now he had to solve the zombie problem.

They reached the spare room. It was nicely set up, with three beds. "Here is ajar of the sleep spell," Millie said. "Just sniff it and sleep. It works immediately. I will close the jar. Remember: follow the footprints."

They lay down, each on a bed. Millie brought the jar to Dolph. He sniffed, and his head dropped on the pillow, snoring. She brought it to Dor, and in a moment he too was asleep. Then she came to Bink. "Maybe if you let the blob sniff it, the moaning would stop," he suggested.

She brightened. "I'll try that!" She held forth the jar.

He sniffed.

Xanth was without form and void. He was zooming through that void at a horrendous rate, seeing clouds of surplus dreamstuff all around him. Then he slowed, and found himself standing in what he

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recognized as the Castle Roogna Tapestry Chamber. There was the splendid Tapestry, whose animated pictures showed any aspect of the history of Xanth the viewer cared to watch.

There was also a ghost hovering beside it. The ghost saw him and spooked, fading out of sight with a soundless exclamation.

"That's a new one," Dor remarked. "People spooking ghosts."

Bink looked around. Dor and Dolph stood beside him. So they were all present, in the dream.

In a moment Princess Ida, who was Princess Ivy's twin sister, entered the room. She paused near the door. The ghost hovered near her. "I am told that someone is visiting here in a dream," she announced. "So I will sleep, and join you in a moment."