Zombie Lover (13 page)

"The ghost brought her!" Dolph said.

"The Castle Roogna ghosts are shy, but friendly," Dor said. "As a child I used to know them better."

Ida sat in a chair facing the Tapestry, and leaned back, closing her eyes. In a moment her even breathing showed that she was falling asleep. Then a second version of her appeared, standing before the sleeping figure, only this one was awake. "Oh, hello, brother," she said, spying Dolph.

"I didn't know you could dream!" Dolph blurted. "I mean—"

Ida smiled. "We did not have the advantage of growing up together, Dolph," she said. "Maybe that was just as well; I don't think you would have survived two elder sisters." She glanced around at the others. "Hello, Father Dor. Hello, Grandfather Bink."

"Hello," Bink answered awkwardly. He had never quite gotten used to the notion of having twin granddaughters. That was because there had been just Ivy as a child; only when she was an adult had the twin sister the stork had misplaced finally found her way to claim her heritage, at age twenty two. Ida was a nice person, with the extremely powerful but devious talent of the Idea: whatever idea she had that originated with someone who did not know her talent, was true. Now it turned out that her cute little moon, Ptero, was a function of that talent. So Bink knew that Ida was legitimate, but still he tended to think of her as unrelated.

"I gather you have come to visit the worlds of maybe," Ida continued, glancing up at the little globe that circled her head, even in the dream state. It was obviously a dream moon, because the real one

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was visible hovering by the sleeping Ida's head. "I must advise you that we now know of four moons, and there may be many others. They are Ptero, Pyramid, Torus, and Cone. The rules of magic differ for each one, and most of their inhabitants never existed in Xanth. You will be able to leave any of them simply by waking up, as can the Zombie Master, who passed this way before you."

"We are looking for him," Bink said.

"Ah, that explains it. You will be in no danger, but if you suffer what would be death in real life, you will lose the dream and wake up immediately, and be unable to return without going through the whole process again. So it is best to be careful. I will guide you to Ptero; after that I will wake up and go about my business, but the dream world will exist independently, because you are dreaming it. Once all three of you leave it, it will fade. If you need to go to the other worlds, you must find the Ida who resides on each. You will not need to have her sleep, because the entire derivative structure already exists in the present dream; just go on as you need to. I hope your mission is successful."

"Thanks, Sis," Dolph said, kissing her on the cheek. "Have a nice day when you wake up."

"When this is done, I hope one of you will come to tell me what you found," Ida said. "I can't go to those worlds, even in my dreams, unfortunately, so I am dependent on others to learn about them. I am most curious."

"We'll do that," Bink promised.

"Thank you. Now you must focus on Ptero, and think small. Very small. Make sure you stay together, because it is easy to get lost there. Time is geography; east is From and west is To. But you will not be affected by the time, because you are not really there. In fact you will have to form your bodies from filler material, as the natives do, in order to interact. Nothing you do there will be permanent, because this is only your dream."

"We understand," Dor said. "We just need to talk with the Zombie Master."

"Good fortune." Dream Ida stepped back toward her body. "Orient on Ptero." The tiny moon swung around before her head.

"Let's hold hands," Dor suggested. "So we don't get separated."

They linked up, and focused on the moon. Bink tried to think small,

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and suddenly the moon was growing It seemed to swell to the size of an apple, then to a bowling ball Then they seemed to be floating toward it

He looked down The Castle Roogna chamber was gone, they were in empty sky, dropping toward the distant planet Their velocity increased Suddenly the world was looming scanly close Too close It was no longer a ball, but a broad landscape, with mountains and helds and lakes

"Oops," Dolph said

Then they plunged into the ground Darkness closed around them Their impetus had carried them down into the rock

"Maybe we can rise a bit," Dor suggested

Bink concentrated on rising, as did the others In a moment they burst out of the ground and sailed up into the sky

"We're ghosts," Bink said, remembering "We need to get some substance Some filler "

They were hovering in a cloud Dolph reached out and grabbed some cloud-stuff, pressing it into his body That seemed to work, so Bink and Dor tried the same The more stuff they pressed in to themselves, the more solid they became, and they began to fall But they were able to control it, so that they finally made a soft landing in a forest

Bink dusted himself off, and patted firm the last of the filler He felt much like himself Dor and Dolph seemed similar

"Now we need to find the Zombie Master's footprints," Dor said

They looked around, but there was no sign of glowing footprints They had probably gone astray in the course of their inexpert landing Even in dreams, things needed to be done approximately right

"I'll change form and fly up and see if I can spy them," Dolph said "If my talent works here "

"It should," Dor said "We should be at least as talented in our dreams as in our reality But don't lose track of us "

Dolph became a hawk moth and flew up, combining the flight powers of the one and the sensitive antenna of the other

"So this is a dream." the ground said

Dor glanced at Bink
   
'It seems my talent too is present " 'Sure it is," the ground agreed
 
' I can tell you where those footprints are
 
straight north '

"Which way is north'

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"Toward the blue "

Bink looked around The air seemed to be bluer in one direction, and redder in the other Cold north and warm south All right

They walked north In a moment the hawk moth descended It landed, and Dolph reappeared "You're going the right way," he said "I saw a trail of footprints there "

"We are on our way," Bink agreed

"I also thought I saw something following us, but I couldn't make it out''

"How could anything be following us9" Dor asked a bit sharply "We are in a dream, and on a unique world "

"Maybe a creature of this world," Dor said uncertainly "But maybe I just imagined it "

"We'll keep alert," Dor said
 
"Just in case "

That made sense But privately Bink wondered Dolph had his juvenile confusions, but paranoia wasn't one of them They didn't know what kinds of predators this world had So he decided to hang back a bit, so that if anything came on them from behind, he would be the first one it encountered It wouldn't be able to hurt him, and the effort might give warning for the others They had been assured that they couldn't really be hurt while in this dream, but if they got sufficiently messed up, they would be forced to wake up and lose their place here

Soon they found the trail glowing footprints headed west That meant toward the future, assuming that made sense

"Say," Dolph said "It's green that way " He looked back "And yellow to the east''

They checked Again Dolph's younger nature had picked up on something the elders had missed So they couldn't get confused about whether they were traveling into the future or the past, the colors ahead would warn them That struck Bink as a nice feature of this world

They followed the prints, which seemed to know where they were going They led past a small village There was a gnome working outside his house "Hello, hello, it's great to see you'" the gnome exclaimed in friendly fashion "Haven't we met before9"

"I don't think so," Bink replied, as he happened to be closest "I am Bink Who are you'"

"Well "

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44 What?"

"No. Well. That's my name. Everyone knows me."

"Gnome Well," a nearby rock said helpfully.

Another gnome emerged from the house. "And this is my neighbor Metro," Well said. "Metro Gnome keeps track of ticks and locks."

"That seems useful," Bink agreed. He knew that ticks could be real mischief if not supervised. A friend had once eaten an emi tick by accident, and gotten really sick. Another had been bitten by a psycho-tic, and gone crazy. A third had run afoul of a spasmo tic, and convulsed. "What ticks are you watching now?"

"A group of across ticks," Metro answered. "They are useful for word puzzles. Do you need any?"

"Not at the moment, thank you."

"So can I help you with anything?" Well inquired, in the manner of an old friend.

"We're just following these footprints."

The gnome looked. "What prints?"

So it was true: others could not see them. "Magical prints that only we can see," Bink explained.

"Well, I wouldn't recommend going that way," Gnome said. "There's a bad comic strip, and beyond it is only old age."

"We can handle it," Bink assured him.

"You must love punishment. I couldn't stand it."

"What's so bad about a comic strip?" Dolph asked.

Both gnomes rolled their eyes. "You're new here," Metro said.

"Maybe some things you just have to learn for yourselves," Well said.

They went on, and came to the edge of what seemed to be the comic strip. Beyond it things looked wild indeed. But the footprints went there, so they followed.

When they stepped across, they found themselves on a path labeled PSYCHO. They followed the prints along it. It wound crazily around, seeming to go nowhere in particular. It passed a huge feline creature who seemed to have no eyes, so they thought it safe to tiptoe by. Then it yawned, and there were eyes in its mouth: eye teeth. They hurried on, before the eyes could focus on them.

There was a sign saying BOWLING. That seemed safe. Then a bowl flew by Sink's head. Someone was throwing bowls at them!

They ran on, escaping the bowls. There was a cat staring at them.

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It scanned Bink, then Dolph, then Dor, as if it could see their innards: the process was disquieting.

"It's a cat scan, dummy," a little figure with a big mouth said, and ran on.

Next were several little dogs running in circles. "Lap dogs," the figure said. "Doing their laps."

Beyond them were other dogs that just lay in the way. There were too many to step over, so Dolph bent down to lift one out of the way. "Ouch!" he exclaimed. "It's burning hot!"

"Hot dogs," the running figure explained.

There was a cacophony of barking as mud puppies formed from nearby mud, and suds puppies formed from soap bubbles. Then it stopped as a hush puppy commanded silence.