Zombie Lover (10 page)

Terian nodded. "Secondary definition noted."

"And the accordion has a keyboard on one side, and harmony notes on the other side, and—well, it doesn't matter. Deal out the cards face up, a row of about six, face up."

"About six?" Terian asked. "Surely it must be exactly six."

"Not according to fuzzy logic. Uh, do you know—"

"There is a colony of warm fuzzies nearby. They are not known for their logical abilities."

Breanna decided to avoid further analogies. "Never mind. What I mean is that you can deal out four five, six, seven, eight, or any number; it doesn't have to be six. That's just for convenience."

"A span of four to eight cards when inconvenient," Terian said, getting it straight.

Breanna let that pass. "Now you play by matching up the cards by suit or number, the first or third from the right." Terian looked blank, so she moved right on into a demonstration. "Deal the cards;

I'll show you."

Terian dealt six cards: The Queen of Hearts, Two of Diamonds, Nine of Clubs, Six of Clubs, Ten of Spades, and Ace of Spades.

QV 24 9* 6* 10A AA

"Now see, you can put the six of clubs on the nine of clubs, because the suits match and the nine is right next on the left," Breanna said. She paused. When nothing happened she said, "Put the six on the nine." She kept forgetting how literally these folk took things. "And put the Ace on the ten. Now you have four piles and four suits; you can't do any more. So now deal out another card on the right."

The next card was the Two of Hearts.

QV 24 6* A* 2V

"Now this is nice, because you can close it up some more. Put the Two of Hearts on the Two of Diamonds, because the numbers match

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and the diamond is the third card to the left; remember, you can match either the first or third."

"I remember." Terian said. She moved the card.

' 'Now you can match the two hearts, because they are next to each other. Do it. Move the whole pile; the buried cards no longer count."

Terian did it.

2V 6* AA

"So you see, we have boiled seven piles of cards down to three. Now deal out some more cards."

"How many cards?"

Breanna tried not to roll her eyes. "Three more."

Terian dealt out the Four of Diamonds, Jack of Spades, and Eight of Diamonds.

"See, now the accordion is expanding again. We don't do anything. Deal a couple more."

Terian dealt the Three of Hearts and Seven of Diamonds.

2V 6* A* 44 JA 84 3V 74

"See, still nothing. I hate it when they alternate like that. Sometimes I wind up with half the deck spread out. Anyway, the object is to finish with all the cards in a single pile. Two piles is a very good score, three or four piles is still credible, and beyond that is pretty much of a washout." She grimaced. "I wash out a lot."

They played the game on through, and sure enough, finished with nine piles of cards. They played again, and finished with five piles. A third game was fifteen piles.

Breanna was about ready to tear her hair, but refrained, because it was really nice hair. "Look, I can't seem to win a game for love nor money, and I need to get on my way. Is there any other way I can get that zombie-no-see spell?"

"You are offering love or money?" Terian inquired.

Oops. "Not literally. It's zombie love I'm trying to escape, and money isn't much use in Xanth. I mean, is there any other deal I can make with you, since this one isn't working out?"

There was the barest pause. "We are intrigued by these games. Find another person to play them in your stead, one who can play one through to victory. At that point we will give you the spell."

"But how can I find anyone else, when I can't even go out of this cave for fear of the zombies?"

"We will lend you the spell for that purpose."

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That was so logical that Breanna knew she would never have thought of it. "Okay. But how can you be sure I won't just bug out?"

"Do what to what?'1

Oops again. It did sound as if she meant to pull an insect from its hole. "How do you know I won't run off to the Good Magician's castle the moment I have that spell, instead of finding you another player?1'

"You will do what you agreed to do."

She realized thai a machine had little concept of dishonesty. "Okay. I'll go find somebody. Seems fair to me."

Terian lifted her hand, and in it appeared a marble-sized globe. She gave it to Breanna. But as Breanna took it, it faded out. Had she somehow broken it?

"The spell is now part of you, and will carry through the night," Terian explained. "If you are unable to find a suitable player by dawn, return here and we will provide another spell for the next night."

Breanna hoped she could do it much faster than that. "Okay. I'll see you soon, one way or another."

She walked out of the cave. Almost immediately she saw the zombies milling about. Maybe they knew she was in the cave, and were waiting to nab her when she emerged.

She nerved herself and walked down the path toward the zombies. If they gave even the slightest, teeniest, weeniest sign of seeing her, she would bolt back into the cave as fast as her fine black legs would

carry her.

But the zombies gave no sign of being aware of her. They seemed to be patrolling, shuffling back and forth, dropping putrid bits of themselves behind. Yuck!

She timed her route to pass between the two of them while they were both walking away from the intersection of paths. She got through, and was on her way beyond without their noticing.

Then she reconsidered. How did she know the spell was working? She might have slipped through on her own merit. She had better make sure.

She nerved herself again, and turned back. Now the two zombies were approaching each other on their route. She could see the route, because it was marked by blobs of decayed flesh. They were definitely

on guard duty.

She walked toward them. "Hey, you rotters!" she called.

ZOMBIE LovtR
      
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There was no response. The zombies shuffled past each other and walked on out toward the ends of their routes. So she went to the center and stood there, waiting for their return. She was terrified, but she made herself stand there. She had to know.

They turned and shuffled back. Their faces were blank masks of disgusting decomposition. It was a marvel they could see anything, with those putrefied orbs.

"Hey, foulface!1' she called to one. "Can you see me?"

The zombie ignored her. He continued to shuffle toward her. She realized that they would collide if she didn't get out of the way. So she moved clear, just in time, and the zombies passed behind her.

"Have you sheen anyshing, Seymour Bones?" one inquired of the other.

"Noshing, Rick R. Mortis," the other replied.

Satisfied, Breanna proceeded on her way. Now whom could she find who liked to play cards? There might be a small problem, because no one in Xanth knew about cards. But surely many folk were bored, and this was a good treatment for boredom.

Another problem was the fact that it was night, which was her prime time but was sleep time for others. But there should be a few folk active.

Sure enough, soon she spied the light of a lamp, and by the lamp a young man was putting handfuls of dirt into a bag. "Hello," she said by way of introduction.

"That is a pointless interjection," he replied, not looking up.

"What is?" she asked, vaguely nettled by his attitude.

"Your stupid salutation."

Breanna had never been a person to accept rudeness unchallenged. "Who says it's stupid?"

"I do. I am Smart Alec. I always know a detail others don't think of." He paused reflectively. "I can't think why I'm unpopular."

"Gee, it sure beats me," she retorted sourly. "What are you doing?"

'Tm collecting magic dust, as any idiot can plainly see."

"That looks just like ordinary dirt to me. Did you get some in your mouth, to make you talk dirty?"

"I'm not talking dirty, I am merely making statements about the incapacities of others who evidently don't realize how dull they are."

Breanna had had just about enough of this. She was ready to blast

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him with some real information on dullness, but remembered her mission Maybe he would like to play cards So she stifled her justified retort and tried to sotten him up tor the kill, as it were 'Thank you for explaining about the magic dust But how is it you know that this particular dirt is magic, and what do you want it for9"

"All dirt in Xanth is magic," he said in superior fashion "It is what carries the magic It emanates from the center of Xanth, and slowly spreads out, and the magic diminishes as the dust thins This is near the center of Xanth, so should be pretty strong I'm going to take it to Mundama. where it should enable magic to be operative "

"That's a great idea'" she said, putting more enthusiasm into it than she felt She had lived years in Mundama, and doubted that anything could budge its dreariness "How would you like to play a

great new game9"

Now at last Alec glanced at her, appraismgly She wasn't entirely easy with the places his gaze landed "Very well Take off your

clothes "

What a jerk1 "Not that kind of a game I'm only fifteen " "Oh Then you wouldn't know about that sort of thing " Actually she did know, but preferred not to tell him that
 
"This is

a card game It—"

"Forget it I'm not interested " He focused on his dust

Imtated anew. Breanna walked on If this was the kind of reaction

she was likely to encounter, her quest was more difficult than she had

believed

Then she thought of a way to get something useful from this jerk She turned back
 
"I'll bet you don't know who would want to play

a card game "

"Com Pewter " he said, and ignored her

Com Pewter She had heard of him He was a machine like Com Passion, who resided in a cave and could change his local reality What better partner could she possibly find7 Smart Alec had known the answer, and had done her a huge if inadvertent favor

But Pewter lived far away, south across the Gap Chasm, not ac tually all that far from her home in the Black Village How could she

get there quickly9

Well, maybe the same way she had gotten here But first she had to prepare Could Pewter's activities possibly be construed as censorship7 In Mundama that was the suppression ot certain political.

/OMBIP- L()\FR
   
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