Zombie Lover (35 page)

"A zombie prince, of course. She—" Breanna froze. "Oh, my. Justin! Is it possible?"

"/ think you should talk to Zyzzyva and find out She might be your salvation "

"But I don't want to get near any zombie! They freak me out."

"/ appreciate your concern I was not overly fond of them myself, when I was human But I think this could be what the Good Magician had in mind Not your physical escape from Xeth, but your emotional escape If he found another love "

"I think you're making sense. But I just can't bring myself to— oh, God, I'm a bigot, aren't I! I hate this." She discovered that her face was wet with tears. "What am I going to do, Justin? I just can't face her."

"Perhaps I can face her Will you let me use your mouth?"

"My mouth? You mean like my eyes? You could talk'7"

"/ think so If you allow it "

"Try it," she said, and released her mouth.

"Hello," her mouth said. It sounded like someone else.

She grabbed it back. "You did it! You can talk!" Then she let go again.

"I can talk," he agreed. "So I can talk to Zyzzyva. If you allow it."

"If you can take care of this, you can have any part of my body you want."

"But you will have to let her in," he said.

Breanna nerved herself. Then she walked to the door and unbarred it. She pulled it open.

"Please come in, Zyzzyva," Justin said. "We shall talk."

"Thank you." The zombie woman stepped inside. She was in much better health than Breanna expected; her decay hardly showed. That meant she had been caught soon after dying. Zombies seemed always to be decaying, but actually remained as they were when zom-bied. That should mean, in turn, that her brain was pretty healthy too Her clear speech suggested that.

"Offer her a chair by the table You can sit with the table between you."

Breanna was surprised for half an instant, then realized that of course

he could still talk in her mind too. And she would much rather have

the table between herself and the zombie, than nothing between them.

She walked to the table, pulled out a chair, and let her mouth go.

"Please sit down," Justin said. "There are things we must explain."

"Thank you," the zombie repeated. Now Breanna noticed that the

woman wore a metallic skirt and armored halter, and there was a

small helmet on her head. A short sword hung by her right side. She

was a warrior lady! She must have been killed in battle. No wound

showed, but maybe that was closed up when she got zombied.

They sat at the table. "I am Justin Tree," her mouth said. "1 am with Breanna of the Black Wave. She was kissed awake by King Xeth Zombie, but that was a confusion. She does not wish to marry him. The Good Magician Humfrey sent her to the Isle of Women, where she is supposed to find her reprieve. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Zyzzyva said. "That is why 1 came here. 1 was a warrior lass, but I died in action. The Zombie Master found me almost immediately, and revived me as a zombie. I decided 1 wanted to settle down and live as normal an existence as 1 could. My talent is consistency, and I wanted to settle down in life, so it remains my ambition in half-life. But no ordinary man would consider me. So I came here, hoping for my chance. But I am low on the list." "So you would like to marry King Xeth?" "Yes, that would be ideal. But I fear some other woman will get him first. I know that he wants to marry a living woman, and all the others here are fully alive. But I am the best preserved of zombie women, so T think I could accomplish what he wishes. So when 1 learned that he might be coming here—''

"I doubt many other women would care to marry a zombie," Justin

said. "Even a zombie king."

"Some might. But if I could somehow intercept him, and persuade him, then he would never come here." Zyzzyva hesitated. "Unfortunately, as a warrior maiden I was never very good at romance. So

it might not work."

"1 could teach you!" Breanna burst out, grabbing possession of

her mouth.

Zyzzyva glanced askance at her. "Your voice seems to have changed. Perhaps my perception has deteriorated."

"No it hasn't." Breanna said. Now that she had actually done it,

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she found it wasn't that hard to talk to the zombie. After all, she had talked to Xeth. "Justin was speaking for me, because I—well, never mind. I see you are a person, different from me, but still a person. Some folk don't like to associate with me because of my color, and I don't like that, but I guess I have my own prejudices. But if you can win Xeth's love, and marry him, then I'll be gloriously free. I think I can tell you how to do that. After all, he is a man." "I would be most grateful if you would."

"Come on," Breanna said, getting carried away. "Most of what you need to know is this: men like to see where they shouldn't. So if you can show him your—you do have panties?"

Zyzzyva stood and lifted her metal skirt. Under it she wore metal panties.

"Will they do?" Breanna asked Justin.

"Yes, I believe so. They are quite competent. Now please avert your eyes."

Oh. Breanna pulled her eyeballs away. Obviously the panties were competent. They should have that much more effect on a zombie male. "Okay, the other part of it is how you act. You have to sort of look him in the eye and smile, and tell him how handsome he is. And if he grabs for you, the way men do—let him." "But I always slew any man who grabbed for me." Which was surely part of her problem. "Control the impulse. This time you want to—to let him have his way with you. Then he'll be yours forever. That's how it's done."

Zyzzyva hesitated again. "I spoke somewhat blithely of intercepting and persuading him, but that was my militaristic nature talking of a campaign. Now that I contemplate actually doing it, I am afraid." Breanna stared at her. "You're human!"

The woman smiled wanly. "I am a human zombie. My living capacities are only slightly diminished. Unfortunately my living liabilities also remain. I fear that I will—will—" "Will mess up?"

Zyzzyva nodded. "So maybe this is not a good idea. I'm sorry I bothered you." She turned toward the door and took a step.

"No you don't!" Breanna cried, going after her and grabbing her hand.

Zyzzyva whirled. A short sword appeared in her other hand. It

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glinted as it swung toward Breanna's neck. Breanna froze, horrified, unable to react in time to save herself.

The blade stopped just short of her flesh. "Oh, I'm sorry.'1 Zyzzyva said. "I reacted automatically. You must never grab a warrior."

"Uh. I'm sorry." Breanna said, shaken. "I—I just—1 just didn't want you to go. Because I still think I can show you how to do

it."

"Do you really? Despite seeing how I react when touched?" "That's rough, I confess. But there must be some way. Justin, what

do you think?"

"Perhaps if she could still think of it as a military maneuver The

correct reaction could win the day "

"What correct reaction?"

"Perhaps a passionate kiss '

"Now I gotcha." Breanna returned her attention to Zyzzyva. "He says you can still be military. You can still react when touched. But instead of cutting off his head, kiss him. Can you retain your reflexes

to do that?''

The woman considered. ' 'Different situations require different reactions. 1 should be able to do that. It's as if to vanquish him, my weapon is a kiss instead of a sword."

"Right! Think of him as a demon. If you cut off his head it will just turn smoky and reform. But if you kiss him, you score."

"I will try," Zyzzyva said bravely.

"Rehearsal may be in order"

"Lets rehearse it." Breanna said. "Fortunately we've got a man here. Justin can use my body and grab you, and you kiss him instead

of killing him."

"But it remains your body. You don't want to be kissed by a

zombie."

That set her back. But Breanna hardly hesitated. "I'd rather be

kissed by one than marry one."

So they tried it. Breanna stepped outside the door, then came back in. "I am King Xeth," her mouth proclaimed. "I am looking for Breanna of the Black Wave."

The armored woman turned to face the intruder. "I am Zyzzyva.

You are really handsome."

Justin looked past her. "Where is Breanna?"

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"She is modeling for you at the moment."

"Oops "

"Let try it again," Breanna said. "This time don't forget to bat your eyes and show your panties."

"Hit my eyes?"

"Sort of blink them at him. Like this." Breanna demonstrated.

"1 will try," Zyzzyva agreed, abashed. "Eyes, panties."

Justin entered again. "I am King—"

"Hello, handsome." Zyzzyva lifted her skirt.

Justin's eyes locked on. He strode across the room and grabbed her by the shoulder.

Zyzzyva drew her sword. Then she froze. "Darn!"

"Practice makes perfect," Justin said with Breanna's mouth. "That's why we have rehearsals: to ensure that the real case is perfect."

The zombie woman nodded. "Not this," she said, sheathing her sword. "This." She stepped into Breanna and kissed her firmly on the mouth.

Breanna froze. She had never been kissed like that by a woman before. Justin took over. He reached down and stroked the woman on the bottom. Breanna felt Zyzzyva stiffen, then relax, accepting it.

They separated. 'T think we are making progress," Justin said. "That was very nice, Zyzzyva. Now let's see if we can do it without miscue."

Both women were silent, so Justin acted. He walked toward the door and opened it.

There stood Xeth Zombie. Oh no! Breanna, freaking out, lost volition. But Justin handled it. "Come in," he said, and stood aside.

"Thank you," the Zombie King said. He stepped through the doorway.

There before him was Zyzzyva. She looked startled, but quickly recovered her military discipline. "Hello, handsome," she said, smiling.

Xeth hesitated. "Who are you?"

"I am Zyzzyva Zombie." She batted her eyes fetchingly. Then, remembering, she lifted the hem of her skirt. "I would like to marry you."

"So far, so good "

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"I am King Xeth Zombie," he replied, advancing with his eyes fixed on that hem. L'You seem remarkably well preserved."