Authors: Abigail Collins
Dori’s face peers at me through the bars, his hair tousled and his eyes wide. He puts his hands up to the metal grate and mouths something at me, but I don’t catch what he says before Signa tugs my arm forward and pulls me away from him.
I am thrown into a room on the opposite end of the hallway. The heavy door swings shut behind me, and Signa presses his face against the slots in the window to speak to me.
“I don’t know what you think you were trying to accomplish back there,” he says roughly, “but you don’t have anybody fooled. We all saw the girl, even though you somehow managed to block her out after you realized she was there. And we heard
every word
of what your brother told you, too.”
Signa sneers down at me, and I glare back at him until my eyes start to water. He laughs – a sharp, bark-like laugh that sounds more like a mechanical malfunction than anything else – and clicks the bolt that locks the door into place. His footsteps fade into silence as he walks away, and are quickly replaced by the creaking of metal and the churning of voices from the other rooms.
I wipe my eyes with my palms and take in my surroundings. I am in a cell, not even half as large as my room in my cabin is; the ceiling is low and the walls are so tight that I doubt I could stretch myself out on the floor without having to bend my knees. Upon closer inspection, I see that the rusty, metallic color of the walls is actually paint, peeling off of a layer of grey cement foundation that must make up the entire building. I pick at a piece of curled paint with the nail of my thumb, watching it break away and fall to the ground; it upsets a thin layer of dust covering the floor, and I wonder how often these rooms are actually cleaned.
The room is furnished with one plain mattress on top of a single sheet of raised metal springs and a desk with a lamp on top of it; there is one sheet and one pillow on the bed, and nothing in any of the drawers in the table. I sit down on the bed, ignoring the loud groaning of the springs and the uncomfortable lumpiness of the mattress.
The air is ripe with the smell of a mixture of chemicals and vomit. The room seems fairly clean – with the glaring exception of dust and grime lingering in its corners – but the stench is enough to make me feel like heaving. I retch painfully, my arms wrapped around my stomach, but nothing comes up.
Pulling back the sheet, I find a splotchy circle of red in the very center of the mattress; it looks like a stain that was unsuccessfully cleaned. It could be the remnants of the nasty smell in the air, but it looks more like blood to me. I shiver and scoot myself as far away from the middle of the bed as I can, throwing the sheet back over the stain.
It’s cold in here, even more so than it is downstairs or even outside. There are no windows overlooking the fields and cabins below, so I have no way of knowing how far up I am or where this part of the building is with respect to the rest of the compound. All of my clothes are still in my cabin, so I can’t even change into something warm.
Between the two simulations and my constant interrogation – not to mention meeting Rin and finding Dori in a cell – I am exhausted. Gingerly, I lean down against the mattress, lying on top of the sheet and trying to position myself as far away from where I know the stain is as possible. I know that I won’t be able to sleep right now, but at least I can rest; even if my mind is stretched and torn apart, my body will be strong enough to support me.
I settle on my back and look up at the ceiling. The light above my head is burnt out, and a fly is trapped inside of its casing; if the lamp beside the bed doesn’t work, then soon this room will be covered in darkness.
For the first time since my training simulations began, I let myself cry.
***
I must have fallen asleep at some point, because I am awakened in the middle of the night by the sound of someone knocking on my door. I jolt awake, hitting my head on the sloping wall over the bed, and debate whether or not I should answer. If it was a Digit, would they have even bothered knocking? But Rin said she wouldn’t be here until tomorrow –
if
she’s even coming at all.
It is so dark in the room that I can barely see the outlines of my own hands when I put them up in front of my face. I am wearing the same clothes I was when I was brought here, because I don’t have anything else to change into, and the white of my blouse seems to glow in the darkness. I fumble blindly towards the edge of the bed and move my hand around in front of me until I touch a corner of the desk; it takes me a little time and more than a few missed attempts before I am able to pull the cord on the lamp that brings it to life. Thankfully, the light-bulb is still working, though it’s not quite bright enough to light up the whole room.
The knocking has stopped, but I haven’t heard any more footsteps, so whoever it was must still be there. I stand up, steadying myself against the desk until my dizziness passes, and approach the door cautiously. I look through the window and see bright blue eyes staring back at me.
“
Dori
?” I whisper incredulously. “What are you doing here?”
He shakes his head and pinches his eyes shut like he’s in pain. “I don’t… I’m not sure.”
“You don’t know why you’re in this building, or why you’re at my door?”
“Both, I think. I’m not…” He takes a deep breath that rattles in his throat and coughs when he exhales. “I don’t remember why I’m here. I mean, I know why I’m
here
– because I wanted to see Holden – but I don’t know why I’m…
here
.”
He sounds so frightened and disoriented that I feel a pang of pity in my chest. His words are slurred when he speaks, like he’s been drugged, and I wonder how aware he really is through the fog in his head. If I could bring him inside of my room and comfort him somehow, I would, but I can’t; the doors in this part of the building all lock from the outside, and there isn’t a handle on the inside for me to open it even if it was unlocked.
“Dori, can you tell me what happened to you? What’s the last thing you remember?”
His eyebrows furrow and he frowns, saying, “I remember… being with my group. We were training for… something. And then my instructor came to get me and I can’t… I can’t
think
. It hurts too much.”
I can hear him struggling to breathe through the slats in the window, but all I can really make out in the darkness is his face – it’s so pale that it shines even though the lamp-light doesn’t quite reach him.
“What was your group doing, Dori?” I ask him, speaking as softly as I can to avoid being overheard. “Were you doing training simulations like ours? Holden was moved to your group after he failed his training. He’s been worried sick about you.”
“…Holden?” Dori’s eyes widen and he looks at me like he’s trying to remember something. “He’s in
my
group? You’ve got to get him out! He can’t – ”
I shush him under my breath and hold a finger to my lips. “You’ve got to be quiet, Dori. Someone might hear us.” He nods sheepishly, and his breathing evens out until I can’t even hear it anymore. “Now, do you know where you are? We’re on the second floor of the central building; I think you’ve been here since the last time I saw you – three days ago. Can you remember anything at all about the past three days?”
“It… it hurts,” he whimpers, sounding more vulnerable than I’ve ever heard him. “It hurts to think about it. It was so… so
painful
. All I remember is pain.”
A creaking noise sounds out from across the hallway, and I freeze in place for a moment, listening. A door opens and shuts far away, but the sound doesn’t come any closer to my room. I let out a shaky breath and hear Dori do the same.
“Everly, I can’t feel anything. My head hurts, but I can’t
feel
anything.” He sounds delirious now, like he’s on the verge of panicking. I can’t blame him for being so scared, but he needs to calm down before the Digits hear him and take him away again. If he thinks it was painful
before
, I can’t imagine what they’ll do to him if they catch him now.
“Yes, you can. Dori, you need to
breathe
, okay? Just focus on – wait,” I pause, stopping myself the second I remember something. “What did you just call me?”
Dori peers at me through the bars, confused. “I called you Everly. That’s your name, isn’t it?”
“It… it is, but…” I look closely at him, watching his eyes move, his brows scrunch together, his long hair sweep across his forehead and fall over his shoulders. “But you always call me ‘Eve.’ You’ve never called me by my given name.”
All of a sudden, Dori closes his eyes and smiles. Any other day, he would have looked peaceful, but in this lighting, with his words playing out on a loop in my mind, he looks nothing but haunting to me.
“You’re very perceptive, aren’t you? And here I thought I was doing so
well
.”
His entire demeanor changes all at once – his shoulders straighten, his breathing evens out and silences again, and his mouth is twisted into a toothy grin. I’ve never seen him look like this before; it’s like he’s
possessed
or something. He’s still Dori, but… he’s
not
.
“Doing well at what?” I ask, a bit louder than I know I should. “Dori, what’s going on? Are you okay?”
“I’m great, Eve,” he says; he’s finally using his nickname for me, but it doesn’t sound the same as it used to. “I’m doing a lot better now. A couple of days ago, I was in
so much
pain, but now I can’t feel anything.”
“Please stop talking like that. You’re scaring me.”
“How scared do you think
I
was? You and Holden… you left me here. They
cut me open
, and you didn’t even bother trying to find me. You could have saved me, but I guess it’s a good thing you didn’t. Things are so much…
clearer
now. Everything makes sense.”
He presses his hands against the bars of the window and taps his fingernails against them. His face looks eerie in the light from the lamp, and I take a step backwards away from it. For the first time, I am thankful for the locks on the doors.
His face is so pale, his eyes look like black holes in his skin and his cheeks are high and jagged. If I look too closely, I can’t even recognize him.
“What did they do to you? Please, Dori, you have to tell me! I can
help
you. Holden’s been so worried - if we had known where you were, we would have come for you right away, but we had no idea. But we can help you
now
. You just have to tell me what happened.”
“I learned the truth. That’s what
you
want, isn’t it? I can tell you everything. You just have to do what they say and everything will be
so much
better.”
“You’re not Dori,” I spit, watching him closely. “Dori wouldn’t have talked like that. The Dori I knew would never have joined the Digits, no matter what they offered him in exchange. I don’t know who you are, but you’re not him.”
The imposter cocks his head to one side and winks at me; Dori used to do that, too, but it was always more playful and less sinister when he did it. Somehow, though their faces are the same, their mannerisms are completely different.
“Dorian is gone, Everly,” he whispers through the window slats. “He’s gone, and he’s never coming back. But don’t worry – I’m just as good as he was. Better, actually. You’ll see.”
I wish I had something to throw at him, but there is nothing in this room that will fit through the bars; if the door was unlocked, I don’t think I would be able to fight back the urge to punch him. I just want that
stupid
grin off of his face – I want him to stop using my friend’s body to say such cruel things. Dori would never act like that.
“Where is Dori? If you’ve hurt him, I swear – ”
“He’s dead.”
The words hit me like a cannon, exploding all across my body and sinking deep under my skin. My heart starts pounding so loudly I can’t hear anything else. It’s like I’m underwater – my chest feels tight, and I know I am drowning, but I can’t seem to move my body to save myself. Nothing makes sense anymore. I feel like I’m back inside of my simulation, and I desperately wish that I could shoot blindly enough to end it, but I can’t. I am trapped inside of this tiny cell, and somewhere outside of here, one of my only friends may have died without me even knowing.
“You’re lying. There’s no way that’s the truth. No way.”
Dori’s imposter suddenly looks very serious; he narrows his eyes and fixes them on me, and I instinctively look away. He’s not smiling anymore, but he doesn’t look unhappy, either.
“It
is
the truth,” he says. “He’s dead and I’m here to replace him. Didn’t anyone tell you that’s how things work around here? What did you
think
you were brought here for?”
He sweeps his fringe aside, tucking his hair behind his ears. Even in the dim lamp-light, I can see the glowing shape in his forehead as plain as day. I gasp and take another step backwards, then another, until all I can see in the darkness is a pinprick of red.