A Blessing for Miriam (22 page)

Miriam waited a few minutes before she retreated back to the house. Aunt Fannie was no longer on the couch. There were noises coming from the kitchen. Miriam found her there.

Hope flickered on Aunt Fannie’s face. “What did he say?”

Tears sprang to Miriam’s eyes. “This is so wrong. I still hope he’ll back down eventually, but he wouldn’t now.”

“Don’t give me hope where there is none, Miriam.” Aunt Fannie’s eyes filled with tears. “This is a shame I must bear.”

“But you only kissed the man goodbye!”

Aunt Fannie hung her head. “I suppose I did love that
Englisha
—at one time, at least. But I didn’t want his world. Was I wrong to make that choice?”

“Of course you weren’t!” Miriam wrapped her aunt in a hug. “This severity is so unlike Uncle William. What has gotten into him?”

“I don’t know.” Aunt Fannie wiped her eyes. “It’s like I don’t know the man anymore.”

“We must pray then—that he’ll change his mind.”

“Or that God will give me the strength to bear this shame.”

Miriam shook her head. “That’s not an option. I’ll vote against the confession if it comes to that. I am the schoolteacher and have some standing, after all. I also have access to Deacon Phillips and his
frau
, Katie. That’s what I should have told Uncle William.”

“No, you mustn’t,” Aunt Fannie said. “Threatening does no
gut
. You were right about praying. Something is bothering William—more than my kissing my
Englisha
boyfriend so long ago. He’s
never acted like this before. I know the Lord can heal his heart—and mine—if we ask.”

“Then we must.” Miriam didn’t wait before she knelt by one of the kitchen chairs.

Aunt Fannie followed her and lifted her face toward the ceiling. She prayed,

Dear Lord, we pray that you be with us during this difficult time. I’m sorry for the mistakes I’ve made in my life.

Aunt Fannie’s voice caught and she hesitated before continuing.

But You’ve forgiven me, and I ask Your forgiveness in not foreseeing William’s hurt. I was so caught in my own concerns that I was blind to his. Please minister to William’s pain, whatever it is. And help me bear with him, even if it takes a confession at church. Thank You for bringing Miriam into our lives. Thank You for the blessing she is. And we ask that her troubles with Wayne also be brought to an end. We ask all this in Your name, amen.

“Amen,” Miriam echoed. She’d planned to pray aloud also, but the words had flown away. Aunt Fannie seemed to understand as they rose to their feet. She glanced at her aunt. “Do you really think something else is bothering Uncle William? More than what happened before you were married?”

“I know there is,” Aunt Fannie replied without hesitation.

Her aunt was mighty confident, Miriam thought. But the truth was that this behavior was completely out of character for Uncle William—at least from what she knew of him.

Chapter Twenty-Three

S
hirley pulled Mindy to a stop at the hitching rack in the Berlin Shopping Plaza. She paused for a moment before she climbed down.
Mamm
had allowed her to drive into town for the shopping, but that wasn’t why she’d decided to appear so openly in public for the first time. Nor was the cause the hopeful words the plastic surgeon had spoken last week when she’d visited his office in Canton. Rather it was Glen Weaver’s kindness at the
rumspringa
gatherings that had lifted her spirits. Her courage had returned, even if she didn’t fully understand why.

With an inward groan, Shirley stepped to the ground and tied Mindy to the long steel bar. Several other buggies were already parked there, and one of the horses neighed in their direction. Mindy lifted her head briefly, ears forward, but didn’t respond.

“I wouldn’t talk to him either.” Shirley patted Mindy on the neck and glanced around the parking lot. She made a quick dash for the plaza doors with her head down. No one gave her a second glance. The memories of her times here with Jonas rushed through
her mind. She could hear the roar of his convertible and feel the wind fly over her face and through her hair as they sped down the road. Jonas hadn’t been by to see her again, but she was to blame for that. She didn’t want attention given out of pity, so she’d asked him not to visit.

Shirley stiffened her shoulders and walked even faster. There was little that could be done about her face. The scars wouldn’t go away anytime soon, even with the surgeon’s assurances last week that he would do his best. The reconstructive surgery could be scheduled whenever she was ready…but she wasn’t ready.

Shirley grabbed a cart and made her way down the grocery aisles. She clutched her list in one hand and kept her head down. Glen’s kindness had helped, but she still knew life would never be the same.
Yah
, she admitted she still wanted to feel the love and excitement that filled her heart when she was around Jonas. Glen Weaver was kind and decent and manly, but he wasn’t Jonas. She was being unfair to even compare Glen to Jonas.

Shirley jumped when a woman’s voice said, “
Gut
morning, Shirley. It’s nice to see you out and about.”

Shirley whirled around to see Rachel Swartz’s smiling face in front of her. She said a quick, “
Gut
morning.” She didn’t know Rachel that well, so surely this conversation wouldn’t last too long.

Rachel continued. “We were so sorry to hear about your accident. I haven’t had a chance at the Sunday services to express my regrets to you, what with all the work the women have to put in to feed the men lunch.” Rachel gave a short laugh at her own joke. “So what a coincidence to meet you now. I hope things are going well with you.” Rachel peered at Shirley’s face. “I hope there’s more they can do to help you.”

Ugh.
So it was that bad? Shirley thought.
Yah,
she knew it was, which was exactly the reason she’d kept herself out of sight whenever possible. Rachel could have found her after Sunday services if
she’d been that interested. The woman probably had other things on her mind.

Shirley just nodded and waited. Rachel seemed to want to say something more.

Rachel looked away and tapped her shopping cart handle. “I hope there are no hard feelings between our two families. I know things haven’t been going that well between Esther and Miriam in Oklahoma. Well, actually between Wayne and Esther and Miriam. I thought I should say something because I’m so sorry for that situation. Esther told me she apologized to Miriam, so that was good.”

Shirley’s face showed her puzzlement. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Rachel stared at her for a moment. “Surely Miriam would have told your
mamm
by now.”

“Told her what?”

Rachel gasped. “Oh my, I should have kept my big mouth shut. I was afraid there would be hard feelings. I told myself, doesn’t a daughter tell her
mamm
such things? I know my children do.” Rebuke crept across Rachel’s face. “Miriam shouldn’t keep such things from her
mamm
.”

Shirley returned her stare. “Maybe you should tell me this important news so I can tell
Mamm
.”

Rachel appeared doubtful. “Such a thing should be heard directly from the source. That’s what I always say.”

“Miriam’s not here, and I am. And you brought it up.”

“It’s just that…” Rachel hesitated. “Oh, well. Why not? I guess you’ll find out anyway. And the sooner such things are taken care of the better. At least that’s what I always tried to teach my girls.”

Shirley waited as Rachel caught her breath. “And Esther did go over to apologize to Miriam, so I’m not telling secrets that shouldn’t be told. Something happened between Esther and Wayne while Miriam was here visiting.”

“Go on,” Shirley encouraged when Rachel hesitated again.

Rachel seemed to make up her mind and continued. “Well, Esther apologized because she and Wayne got a little too close while Miriam was out visiting you after your accident. One thing led to another, and the two kissed. Nothing serious, of course. They were both overcome by the moment. It just sort of happened, what with their past relationship and all. Esther admits this was wrong.”

Shirley shook her head. “Esther is interested in Wayne?”

Rachel’s face lit up. “Oh, yes. To be honest, I think Esther had high hopes Wayne would return her attentions someday, even after we moved here. But that still doesn’t mean she isn’t sorry she kissed someone else’s boyfriend. That was out of the line, and Esther knows it.”

“Miriam and Wayne have plans to wed this fall.”

“I know.” Rachel frowned. “That’s what makes this so uncomfortable.”

“Okay.” Shirley held up her hand. “Thank you for telling me and expressing your regrets. I’ll be sure and tell
Mamm
everything you’ve told me.”

“You do that.” Rachel moved down the aisle. She cast a last mournful glance over her shoulder. “And maybe your
mamm
and Miriam should talk more or write more.” Rachel then disappeared around a corner.

Shirley took in a long breath. Now that had been weird. Did
Mamm
know anything about this and hadn’t told her? That was possible. If Miriam’s heart was broken by her boyfriend’s betrayal with Esther, that was serious. And how like Miriam not to tell them of her struggles. Shirley kept her feelings out in the open, but Miriam didn’t.

Shirley considered the problem. Perhaps she should do something about this herself. It wouldn’t hurt to think of other people’s problems instead of her own for a change. But what could she do?
Miriam wasn’t here, so she couldn’t offer a sisterly hug or a comforting word. Knowing her sister, she could imagine that Miriam had forgiven Wayne by now. Still, kindness helped heal wounds. Look how much Glen’s attentions had helped her.

Shirley found the last item on the shopping list and paid at the register. She pushed the cart across the parking lot, and Mindy turned her head to watch her approach. While Shirley loaded the items into the back of the buggy, a car the color of Jonas’s convertible eased past the parked buggies. It sparked another painful memory. At least Jonas had never kissed another girl while he dated her. He might be doing so now, and the thought hurt terribly. But Jonas had a right to do whatever he wanted. She’d sent him away because their relationship had been a fantasy on her part from the start.
Mamm
and
Daett
had warned her, but she hadn’t listened. If she had, these scars wouldn’t be on her face now.

Shirley wiped away a tear and untied Mindy. She climbed into the buggy, lifted the reins, and clucked. Mindy took off at a moderate pace when Shirley let out the reins. She held Mindy back until they were out of town, then Mindy shifted into a faster clip. They both were in a hurry to get home, Shirley decided. The thought of Miriam in trouble with her boyfriend was disturbing.

Shirley turned Mindy into their driveway and unhitched beside the barn. Lee would have come out to help her if he’d been around, but she’d seen the distant forms of her brothers and
Daett
at work in a field. Shirley led Mindy into the barn and put her into her stall. With her arms full of groceries, she entered the house.

Mamm
called from the kitchen, “That was a quick shopping trip. No Jonas, I hope.”

Shirley took in a deep breath.
Mamm
had remembered, and she’d been worried. Jonas, though, was no longer a danger.

Mamm
seemed to read her silence correctly. She came over to give Shirley a quick hug. “I’m sorry for your heartache, but
you knew deep down that you and Jonas could never be a couple. Besides, isn’t there a nice, young Amish man paying you attention at the gatherings?”

“Glen Weaver,” Shirley admitted. “We’re just friends.” No way would she admit the scope of what Glen had done for her. Not to her family, at least. He was the reason she’d felt brave enough to venture out today. She changed the subject. “Is there something going on with Miriam and Wayne that I don’t know about?”

Mamm
was puzzled. “Not that I know of. Why?”

Shirley shrugged. “Rachel Swartz spoke with me at the store. It sounds like Esther is trying to steal Wayne from Miriam. She even kissed him while Miriam was out here visiting me and planning her wedding.”