A Blessing for Miriam (19 page)

Mark asked, “Where is the gathering tonight?”

“In the Brinkman’s barn,” Lee grunted out.

“So there’s dancing?” Mark’s voice lifted a notch higher.

“Don’t know.”

Lee couldn’t hide the interest in his voice, and even Mark noticed. “You can’t learn how to dance if you don’t stay off the Pepsi cans.”

“Ha! You’re one to talk. You’ll be falling all over your own two feet.” Lee glared at Mark. “And I can drink all the Pepsi I want to.”

“Suit yourself.” Mark shrugged.

Pepsi
.
Daett
would have things to say if this ever came out at home, Shirley thought. But what did
Daett
expect?
Rumspringa
was a time to sample forbidden things, and Lee was only taking the opportunities offered him. At least Lee seemed to sample his forbidden things in moderation. And Pepsi wasn’t so bad. It could be worse. As for dancing, Shirley wouldn’t be tempted in that direction at all. That would expose her face to the light of the lanterns hanging overhead. She would stay in the shadows instead and dream of her evenings with Jonas.

“Almost there,” Lee said as he pulled Sandy to a stop at State Route 39. He guided the horse toward Berlin. They rode in silence to the steady beat of the hooves striking pavement. Several other buggies joined them, and the motorized traffic was soon backed up.

Lee glanced in the mirror. “I’m not pulling over. We’re almost there.”

Mark didn’t object, and moments later Lee turned off 39. They drove through a parking lot and into an open field behind a barn. He drove to a board fence with a line of buggies and horses already tied up. Lee swung his buggy into place. Mark had jumped down with the tie rope in his hand before Lee came to a halt. Shirley made a more dignified descent. Lee climbed out and waited for her. Together the three of them approached the barn.

They entered to find a small crowd had already gathered. A stage made out of straw was set up on the barn floor. Various musical instruments lay on the bales. Mark had been right—there would be dancing tonight. Neither of her brothers seemed to have any fear, but perhaps this was old hat to them. They had, after all, been on
rumspringa
without her for some time. And it wasn’t like they’d speak of such things at home around
Mamm
and
Daett
.

Shirley stopped short when she caught sight of Glen Weaver. So he was here. He hadn’t seen her, and she slunk deeper into the shadows. She had no reason to think there would be a repeat performance of his attentions tonight. How needy had she been that an unknown man’s smiles made her breath come up short? The truth was Glen didn’t have to say what he did. He’d insinuated she still was interesting—even with the scars. She could tell by his expression more than his words. But that was all her vanity, she was sure. She needed to move beyond that. Maybe that was the greatest lesson the Lord wished to teach her. As Shirley watched, a boy stood on a hay bale and hollered out, “We’re about ready to begin. This here is Holmes County’s down-home country music band!”

Laughter filled the air as more young people came into the barn.

The boy continued. “We aren’t the best, of course, but we’re
gut
enough.”

More laughter followed as the boy grabbed a guitar and began to strum a tune.

Shirley didn’t recognize the song, but that wasn’t a surprise. Lee
and Mark seemed to know the words, and they sang along. A few couples made tentative ventures onto the barn “dance” floor, their hands held lightly together. At the end of the song, another boy joined the one on the stage, and they did a duet. More couples took the floor.

Shirley gasped when a calloused hand touched her arm. “You want to take a turn?”

She searched the darkness with a quick glance, but she could make out only the outlines of a male figure. “I don’t think so. I don’t know how to dance very well. Thanks for asking.”

“Ah, come on. You can learn.”

He was obviously not persuaded easily.
You haven’t seen me
, she wanted to warn.

The man had his hand on her arm again. “Come, please. It’s easy.”

Shirley gave in, but kept her head low. Perhaps no one would notice. It seemed the easier course to escape further argument with this unknown man. His shirt smelled of hay and cologne. She did her best to follow his lead, and he appeared pleased as they moved across the floor. She had no idea what she was supposed to do, but her feet seemed to have a mind of their own. At least she hadn’t tripped him.

“See, it’s easy,” he murmured.

He didn’t seem bothered by her silence. Perhaps he thought she was shy. What a strange description that would be of her. If he only knew just how not shy she used to be.

The song ended, and Shirley moved with the man toward the shadows before she lifted her face. Here the gas lantern light didn’t quite reach. A sigh escaped her lips.

“You were very
gut
.”

Admiration was obvious in his voice. Shirley touched his arm. “Thanks for teaching me. Um…I think I’ll move on.”

He called after her as the music began again. “I’ll take another one.”

That wouldn’t happen, Shirley told herself. She would have to show her face if she stayed around much longer, and that would end the dance invitations she was sure. How could it not? Thankfully the man didn’t pursue her. Shirley shielded her face as she approached a wagon where drinks had been set out. This had to stop somewhere. She couldn’t go around in the shadows for the rest of her life. But for now this seemed the simplest answer to her problem.

Shirley reached for and popped open a Pepsi can. The sweetness soothed her throat. She jumped when a familiar voice spoke at her elbow.

“Shirley? I’ve been waiting for you since I saw you out on the dance floor. I didn’t know you could dance so well.”

“I can’t.” Shirley choked on her drink.

“You seem to hide your charms quite well.” Glen’s voice sobered. “Was that someone you knew?”

“No.” Shirley glanced at Glen. “Why?”

“You seemed cozy with him, that’s all.”

A bitter laugh escaped her. “I was hiding my face.”

“You need to get over that,” Glen said. “You have a beautiful face.”

This time the words burst out. “
Had
,” she said. “Not anymore.”

“Come.” Glen’s voice was gentle. “Let’s dance. You shouldn’t let such talent go to waste.”

“Out there again?” Her gaze went toward the lantern-lit dance floor. She set down the Pepsi. The song was a slow one. If she hid her face on his shoulder, maybe it would be okay.

“Where else?” Glen answered her question with a tug on her arm.

She yielded. His gaze was on her face, and she was transfixed as the light fell on him.

His eyes twinkled as their feet moved together. “Forget about everything tonight, Shirley Yoder. There’s just you and me and some
wunderbah
music.”

A tear slipped down her face as she looked up at him. “Why are you so nice to me, Glen?”

“Because you’re beautiful,” he whispered in her ear.

She lay her head back on his shoulder, savoring Glen’s words—the best music of all. The Lord must still have mercy on her to send such a man to soothe her spirit, she decided. Either that or Glen Weaver was an angel. There could be no other logical explanation.

Chapter Twenty

W
hat did Wayne say again?” Aunt Fannie asked while she and Miriam washed the Saturday-night supper dishes.

Miriam frowned. Her aunt wouldn’t leave the subject alone. “Wayne’s sorry for what happened, and I believe him. He has a history with Esther, but it’s in the past…like my history with Ivan. Wayne doesn’t hold that against me.”

“But Wayne kissed someone else while he was dating you, not just before!” The words exploded out of Aunt Fannie’s mouth.

Miriam sighed. “I thought you supported us working things out.”

“I do, but this is a serious matter that needs time. You should at least postpone the wedding. The few months you have until this fall isn’t enough to work this out properly.”

“Postpone?” Miriam’s mouth dropped open. “And give Esther more time to get her foot in the door again?”

Aunt Fannie studied her. “So this is what it’s come to—a competition between Esther and you? You don’t want to go into marriage
like that, Miriam. It’s not worth living with a man when love isn’t the foundation.”

“I
do
love Wayne,” Miriam protested. “And he loves me.”

“He has a fine way of showing it! I still say you need to work this through with Wayne—and properly. Do you want to ask Uncle William for a second opinion?”

Miriam shook her head. She was sure Uncle William would side with Aunt Fannie.

“And another thing. I don’t want you to go blaming yourself about this. You did nothing wrong.”

Miriam wiped her eyes. It felt
gut
that her aunt understood how she felt.

“I have a good mind to have William speak with Wayne about his shameful actions,” Aunt Fannie offered.

“No, don’t. Please!” Miriam finished the last of the dishes. “We have to work this through ourselves. And I’ve forgiven Wayne. That’s the first step. And Wayne
is
sorry.”

Aunt Fannie appeared doubtful. “And what about trusting him and his feelings for you? That’s just as important as forgiveness right now. Can you really trust him?”

Miriam hesitated before she answered. “You trust Uncle William. Did he ever kiss a girl before he married you?”

Aunt Fannie’s face colored. “We’d better leave that one alone.”

When Miriam said nothing, Aunt Fannie finally said, “It wasn’t Uncle William who did the kissing. It was me. To this day your Uncle William doesn’t know what I did.”

A small gasp escaped from Miriam’s lips.

Aunt Fannie found a kitchen chair and sat down. “See? I acted like Esther did, only it was with an
Englisha
boyfriend from my
rumspringa
days. I saw him in town a month or so before I married William. I took what I told myself was ‘just a short ride’ with him, and we ended our time together with a goodbye kiss. For
old-time’s sake, he said. My heart struggled with that for a very long time. Kissing a man is no light thing, Miriam. I wasn’t fair to William when I married him the next month.”

Miriam sat down beside her aunt. She hadn’t expected this confession from her pious aunt.

Aunt Fannie rubbed her forehead. “I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed you with this news. But you see, we all make mistakes. It takes time to heal them.”

“Then you of all people should know there’s hope for Wayne and me. Just like there was for you and Uncle William.”

Aunt Fannie shook her head. “I never said there wasn’t hope. I just said you need to slow down and make sure this is fully worked out. And you need to not blame yourself.”

Miriam rose to give her aunt a hug. “I’ll try not to. Now I suppose I should get to bed. It’s still early, but Sunday morning and the services will come soon enough.”

Baby Jonathon whimpered in the living room.

“Fannie!” Uncle William called out. “Baby’s getting fussy, and he doesn’t like me.”

Normally Aunt Fannie would have chuckled at the joke and rushed off to help, but her face remained serious. She didn’t move.

Miriam waited while Aunt Fannie gathered herself together and finally led the way into the living room. Miriam sent a quick smile toward the fussing baby Jonathon on his blanket at Uncle William’s feet, and then she went upstairs to her room. She’d been sitting on her bed for just a few minutes when she heard the rattle of buggy wheels in the driveway. Who would be coming at this late hour? She pushed back the curtain to peek out. Miriam caught her breath as Esther parked her buggy at the hitching rack and climbed out. Miriam froze as the front door slammed. That would be Uncle William on his way to see what Esther wanted. But Miriam already knew. Esther was here to speak with her. Her heart pounded at
the thought. What mischief was Esther up to now? But one thing was of comfort. If Esther thought she’d conquered Wayne’s heart already, she wouldn’t have shown up here on a Saturday evening.