A Blessing for Miriam (20 page)

She might as well prepare for the unwelcome visitor, Miriam told herself. The meeting would have to take place in her room. Whatever Esther had to say, Miriam didn’t want Aunt Fannie or Uncle William to hear. Miriam tiptoed down the stairs.

Aunt Fannie was rocking Jonathon with a worried look on her face. When she saw Miriam, she asked, “What do you think that girl wants?”

“She wants to speak with me, I’m sure. What for, I can’t imagine.”

“Wayne, of course.” Aunt Fannie sighed. “It couldn’t be anything else.”

With courage, Miriam walked to the front door and stepped out on the porch where Uncle William and Esther were standing.

Uncle William cleared his throat. “Esther is here to speak with you.”

“I see.” Miriam attempted a smile. “We can speak upstairs.”

Esther had remained silent, but now she burst forth with a gush. “Thank you so much for understanding, Miriam. This will only take a moment of your time because I know it’s Saturday night, and tomorrow’s the Lord’s special day. I wouldn’t think of keeping you long.”

“Come on in.” Miriam motioned toward the door. Once inside, she went to the stair door, and Esther followed her.

“
Gut
evening,” Aunt Fannie greeted Esther as they passed through the living room.

Esther returned the greeting and then closed the stair door behind her. Before they reached the bedroom, Esther was chattering away. “Like I said, I’m sorry about this, but I wanted you to hear it from my own lips instead of secondhand. After Wayne came by this morning and spoke at length with me, I told myself that I had to come by and speak with you. I told him I was sorry
about…about what happened. He said he would convey my apology, but I couldn’t let such an important apology be delivered by someone else. I really am sorry about what happened when you were in Possum Valley. I really am.”

Miriam closed the bedroom door behind her. She motioned for Esther to seat herself on the bed, and she took the chair.

Esther continued as if she’d never paused. “Apparently I’ve conducted myself in a much worse fashion than even I could have imagined. I told myself that’s not how I act, but it seems I went too far. I’m quite sorry things have come to this, and I promise it won’t happen again.”

Miriam sighed. “You’re referring to the kisses you shared again with Wayne while I was gone? Is that what you’re sorry about?”

Esther glanced out the window. “Well, I wouldn’t call it exactly a kiss. We did get a little close in conversation, and we might have…”

“You don’t have to excuse Wayne or yourself. I already know, and I’ve forgiven both of you.”

Esther paused for a moment. She smiled thinly. “Wayne came by this morning and apologized for our alleged kiss—or his part in it. He says the community is quite upset over what happened, not that I think it’s anyone’s business. Here in Oklahoma things are handled a bit differently than in Possum Valley. That’s why Wayne always insisted on keeping our relationship such a secret when my family lived here.”

Miriam leaned forward. “Wayne went to your house to speak with you this morning?”

Esther frowned. “
Yah
. He’s the most decent fellow you could imagine, and he really is sorry. I can’t be blamed that I adore the man, but I do understand that he’s promised to you. What’s done is done. I want you to know that I’ll try to stay away from Wayne—act like I’m expected to under the circumstances…unless, of course…”

Miriam sat back in her chair. “Unless what?” she asked warily.

“Well, the truth is, you and Wayne aren’t married yet and…well, if he should still have fond feelings for me…”

Miriam stood. “If he has fond feelings for you, I’ll release him from his promise immediately.”

Esther stood too. “I’m sure that won’t be necessary. Wayne is a man of his word. He feels committed to you. If he promised to marry you, I’m sure he will.”

“Esther, I think it’s time you left. My best advice to you is to stay away from Wayne altogether. Do you think you can do that?”

Esther shrugged. “I can try.”

“And if you kiss Wayne again…” Miriam felt heat flame into her face as she stopped herself. A threat wasn’t right. She wasn’t in competition with Esther.

“Things will go better from now on, I promise.” Esther reached over to squeeze Miriam’s hand. “Wayne doesn’t have feelings for me like he does for you. I’ll
try
to behave myself. Thank you for taking the time to speak with me.”

Esther turned and slipped out of the bedroom door. Miriam didn’t move as she listened to Esther’s footsteps descend the stairs. Uncle William and Aunt Fannie would think what they wanted when they saw Esther exit the house by herself.

Chapter Twenty-One

T
he next evening, after the hymn singing, Miriam pulled herself into Wayne’s buggy and tucked her shawl around her as she settled in the seat.

“Hi,” Wayne said, apparently in a
gut
mood like he was earlier in the day at the services and tonight at the hymn singing.

Miriam had noticed that Esther had the decency to sit in the second row and keep her smiles in Wayne’s direction to a minimum. But they’d still been there. Aunt Fannie and Uncle William had been sober-faced all day, but not a question had been asked about Esther’s visit last night. Miriam hadn’t offered any explanation. She wanted to speak with Wayne first.

Wayne glanced over at her as they drove out of the driveway. “Did I say something wrong? You don’t even have a
gut
evening for me?”

Miriam glanced at him. “You’ve said nothing wrong. But I guess I haven’t gotten over Esther’s visit last night and that you went over to talk with her yesterday morning.”

Wayne groaned. “Do we have to speak of Esther? That’s behind me now—behind
us
. And her smiles—that’s only Esther. She can’t help it.”

“And I suppose you couldn’t help paying her a visit?” Now she sounded bitter, but she couldn’t help it.

“I’m sorry for everything, Miriam. I really am. I thought it best if I cleared things up with Esther in person.”

“And you’ve cleared things up?”

“Of course.” He sounded surprised. “And she did speak with you like she said she would.”

“So you knew Esther was going to visit me?”

“Esther suggested it, and I thought it might help.”

“So she was trying to please you.”

“Miriam, you’re not making a bit of sense.” Wayne slowed down on the paved road. State Route 48 was quiet this time of night. Only a few headlights on the horizon were visible.

Miriam composed herself. “I’m sorry. I don’t like this conversation myself, but are you sure this hasn’t got something to do with the money and the farm we plan to buy after the wedding? What if I didn’t have two million dollars?”

Wayne stiffened on the buggy seat beside her. “That’s an awful thing to say. I haven’t thought about the money in a long time—if I ever really did beyond how it could benefit
us
. It means nothing to me, and you mean an awful lot to me. I don’t know what I would do if I would ever lose you. Owning a farm would be
wunderbah
, of course, but I don’t let it cloud my thinking. I love
you
, Miriam. I do!”

“And I love you,” Miriam affirmed.

Wayne didn’t respond for a moment. Then he continued. “I don’t know what I can do to prove myself. That’s why I went over to see Esther. It was probably a crazy move, but it shows how desperate I am.”

“It’s okay.” Miriam said, but the vast Oklahoma countryside
seemed to swallow her words. She wanted to understand, yet she felt insignificant and very alone. Why had she come out West to escape her problems? Oklahoma had seemed like a land of promise, but everyone knew a person couldn’t run away from things. Troubles only followed. And that was proving to be the point exactly.

“Miriam, please.” Wayne’s voice broke into her thoughts. “I know I made a big mistake, but let’s work through it.”

Miriam glanced at him. “I want to trust you, Wayne, but my heart hurts like it will break apart.”

Wayne pulled back on the reins even though there was no stop sign in sight. The buggy bounced as he turned into a farmer’s field. “There’s no reason we can’t straighten this out right now.”

Miriam forced herself to take a deep breath. She had to get through this.

“Can’t we?” Wayne tried again.

Miriam clasped her hands in silence. Finally she said, “The farm and the money—they really mean nothing to you?”

“Nothing.” Wayne’s voice was firm. “Absolutely nothing.”

“You’d not give in to Esther’s attentions if I didn’t come with such wealth?”

Wayne didn’t hesitate. “I wouldn’t.”

Miriam took a deep breath, but the next words stuck in her throat.

Wayne’s fingers touched her arm. “I’d do anything to prove myself to you, Miriam. I really would.”

“I guess it’s not really you, Wayne. It’s just the memory of Ivan’s attentions that were based on what I’d inherited.”

Comprehension dawned on Wayne’s face. “Ivan Mast. You don’t think I’m like Ivan, do you?”

Miriam gulped hard. “I know you’re not, Wayne. I just don’t want to be hurt again, that’s all. And it was Esther’s sister, Laura, who helped hasten my broken heart.”

Wayne held her, but his gaze was fixed on the horizon.

Miriam reached for his hand and squeezed it. “I’m sorry, Wayne. I should be able to leave the past behind. All these fears are bringing me torment and heartache. I want them gone.”

“Trust me, Miriam, and the fears will disappear,” Wayne said, squeezing her shoulder.

Miriam nodded in the darkness. “I’m trying, but you didn’t make it easy.”

Wayne said nothing for the longest time. His voice trembled when he spoke again. “I thought I’d lost you for a moment.”

“Oh, Wayne!” Miriam whispered. “Our wedding is this fall. We should be planning it instead of quarrelling.” She glanced up at him. Wayne looked so exceedingly handsome in the starlight. How quickly emotions could change when lovers quarreled. And they were lovers. She had what Esther Swartz didn’t have—Wayne with her in the buggy on this beautiful night. Why was she wasting the moment? A kiss? Wouldn’t that be a perfect ending to this evening?

Wayne gazed at her in silence before he whispered, “You’re so beautiful.”

Miriam reached for his face with both hands and waited while he slowly came closer.

“I love you, Wayne,” she whispered.

He hesitated. He held the buggy lines in one hand, and the other one tightened around her shoulders. His head lowered further, and his lips met hers. Wayne lingered for a long moment with his cheek close to hers. “You’re as sweet as ever, dear. Thanks for forgiving me.”

Tears stung her eyes. Miriam leaned against Wayne’s shoulder as he took the lines in both hands. He chuckled. “I guess we’d better get on back before your aunt and uncle wonder what’s become of us.”

Miriam clung to Wayne’s arm as they bounced back onto State Route 48. “They’ll be in bed by now,” she ventured. If they weren’t,
Aunt Fannie would see her glowing face because happiness filled her all the way to her toes. How
wunderbah
it was not to quarrel with Wayne. She would trust him again.

Wayne seemed pensive as they drove north.

Miriam leaned against him, glad he was driving the buggy slowly. He could drive on forever and she wouldn’t mind. In what seemed only minutes, Wayne turned into her driveway.

“Here we are,” Wayne said quietly as he pulled his horse to a halt.

The gas lantern was still burning in the living room. “I guess you were right,” Miriam said. “They’re still up.”

“Must be worried about us.” Wayne smiled as he climbed down. “I think we can ease their minds in no time.”

Miriam climbed out and waited as Wayne tied his horse. They walked together toward the house. When they stepped inside, Uncle William was seated in his rocker, but there was no sign of Aunt Fannie or baby Jonathon. Uncle William appeared quite stern, which seemed unlike him.

Miriam pulled the front door shut behind her and faced him. “I know we’re late, but we had some things to discuss.”

Wayne was all smiles. “And they are solved, thank the Lord.”