A Blessing for Miriam (16 page)

“Did everyone else see it?”

Sarah shook her head. “I don’t think so. But I did catch them alone behind the buggies after the hymn singing. Esther was in his arms, and…”

Miriam’s voice trembled, “Were they kissing?”

Sarah shrugged. “Maybe. I didn’t want to think that, and I was the only one who saw them. Which I wouldn’t have if our buggy hadn’t been parked right beside Wayne’s. He took her deeper into the shadows after he noticed me. Anyway, I felt you should know so you could at least ask Wayne about it. Maybe it’s all much ado about nothing.”

“Maybe…” Miriam said, but tears were threatening to fall again.

Sarah gave Miriam a quick hug. “I wish you the best. I just thought you should know.
I
would want to know if Wayne was my boyfriend. Wayne always turned down Esther’s attentions
when the Swartz family lived here, so I don’t know why he would be showing any interest now. Wayne made an excellent choice when he began dating you. I wanted to tell you that and hopefully encourage you.”

“Thank you, Sarah.” Miriam tried to smile. “And thank you too for teaching for me while I was gone.”

Sarah nodded. “You’re welcome. And how is your sister doing—the one in the accident?”

Miriam forced herself to think of faraway Possum Valley. The place seemed unreal right now. “Shirley’s going to go through a lot, I’m afraid. She was a beautiful girl—unlike me—and now she has a permanently scarred face.”

“Don’t knock yourself.” Sarah patted Miriam’s arm. “You’ve captured Wayne’s heart. Take courage. You can keep his affections, I’m sure.”

“Do you really think so?” Miriam half rose from the small desk.

“All things are possible with the Lord. I’ll help you pray, okay?”

“Oh, would you? That’s so kind of you.”

“But you can’t pray well if you don’t know the truth.” Sarah smiled as if that settled it. She moved to leave. “I’ll help out again with the teaching anytime you need me.”

“Oh, that’s so nice of you to offer.” Miriam followed Sarah to the door and watched while she left in her buggy. With a final wave, Sarah turned the buggy and headed up the road. Miriam sank to the floor and sobbed until her strength was gone.

Finally, she rose to notice her half-eaten lunch still on her desk. Numbly she gathered up what was left, tucked it inside, and closed the lid on the pail. She wouldn’t be eating any more today. She just couldn’t. With another sob, she dropped to her knees. Choked words found their way out of her mouth. “Help me, dear Lord! How can this be happening? What am I supposed to do? How can I not ask Wayne if he still loves me? And why was Esther in his
arms? And what if Wayne kissed her? Esther wouldn’t have missed an opportunity like that. And what does this mean for Wayne and me? Please answer, Lord! Otherwise, I don’t know if I can bear this. Not after Ivan…”

Miriam lifted her head to look toward the window and the patch of sky that lay visible outside. How did the Lord speak to His people? Today God didn’t talk with a voice like He did with Abraham and Jacob. Then how? Her gaze lighted on the Bible sitting on her desk. With a trembling hand, Miriam reached up, grabbed it, and opened it. She read the first words she came across, which happened to be in Psalm 31: “I will be glad and rejoice in thy mercy: for thou hast considered my trouble; thou hast known my soul in adversities.”

Miriam’s breathing slowed. The Lord thought of her. He knew the pain of her heart. Was that not enough? And if the Lord knew, then His mercies would not fail. She had His promise right here regardless of how her relationship with Wayne turned out. That she would lose Wayne was almost too much to contemplate, but the Lord’s mercies would not fail!

Slowly she rose to her feet and determined to fix her hope on a positive outcome to all this. Perhaps by Monday Wayne would say something that would comfort her heart. He might apologize and promise he’d never smile at Esther again. Miriam’s heart would soar again and hope would return. Couldn’t this just be a bump in the road like many couples went through? And Sarah must have thought there was hope. Otherwise she wouldn’t have made the trip over to the schoolhouse. Sarah hadn’t come to spread gossip. Here the community people prayed more intensely and responded quicker, it seemed, than those in Possum Valley.

Miriam gathered up her lunch pail and locked the front door on the way out. Sally neighed when Miriam opened the small horse shelter. She embraced the horse’s neck for a long moment as tears
threatened again. She wiped them away, and hitched Sally to the buggy. On the drive home, the steady beat of hooves against pavement quieted Miriam’s spirit. She breathed another quick prayer as she approached her uncle and aunt’s greenhouse. “Please let Wayne be gone for the day, dear Lord. I can’t stand another ‘fake talk’ with him right now. And let Wayne tell me the truth tomorrow so we can grow beyond this.”

Miriam pulled into the driveway and parked by the barn. Sally looked back at her as she was climbing out of the buggy. Miriam’s quick glance around revealed no one coming to help her unhitch. She breathed easier, and soon Sally was in the barn with the harness pulled off. A small bucket of oats was Sally’s reward for the trip to the schoolhouse, and the horse munched away with a look of contentment on her face as Miriam gave her a quick rub down and currycombed her coat.

Oh, to be as free from worries of the world as the animals are, Miriam thought. Didn’t Jesus say He took care of the sparrows? Not one of them fell to the ground without Him knowing it. The Lord knew how much she loved Wayne. The Lord knew the devastating pain she’d feel if their love was destroyed.

Miriam left the barn as anger rose up inside her against Esther Swartz. What was wrong with the Swartz family that they produced such heartless females? Laura hadn’t hesitated to win Ivan’s heart when he was showing an interest in her. And now Laura’s sister was on the same path. Miriam steeled herself. Esther had lived in the community before she did, and she obviously knew her way around Wayne’s heart. She must not think ill of Esther or Laura, but neither would she allow Esther to take Wayne away from her—if it wasn’t already too late.

Aunt Fannie opened the front door with a worried smile. “So how was your day? I hope better than this morning?”

Miriam tried to look strong, but the tears came without her
permission. Her resolutions didn’t last much longer at the moment than Shirley’s did.

“Oh, you poor thing.” Aunt Fannie took Miriam’s hand and led her niece to the couch. “Sit down and recover yourself. Maybe I can think of something to cheer you up.”

“I’d hoped your suspicions were only dark thoughts like mine were,” Miriam muttered. “But Sarah Mullet stopped by and told me she saw Wayne and Esther holding each other behind the buggies after the hymn singing. If Sarah saw them, who else did?”

“Were they kissing?” Aunt Fannie’s eyes were wide.

“Sarah didn’t think so, but I doubt Esther would pass up such an opportunity.”

“Now let’s not imagine.” Aunt Fannie reversed her viewpoint. “We don’t know what really happened until Wayne tells you. I saw him go into the barn after you did this morning. I take it the conversation didn’t get serious this morning.”

“It didn’t.” Miriam wiped her eyes. “He didn’t even ask how the wedding plans had progressed in Possum Valley.”

Aunt Sarah wrinkled her forehead. “That doesn’t sound
gut
, but still…”

“I’m trying to keep up my courage.” Miriam pocketed her handkerchief. “But it’s so hard! I’m not going to just leave it be, either.”

“That’s the spirit! We’ll have supper soon. I’ve made soup, and I hope it will help you feel better.” Aunt Fannie bounced to her feet. “We’ll eat once William comes in, which shouldn’t be long.”

“You won’t tell him, will you?”

“Not in front of you, but he is my husband.” Aunt Fannie smiled sympathetically. “One shouldn’t keep secrets from one’s husband, but I will be discreet, and so will he. But come, I can serve you a little soup to tide you over.”

Miriam shook her head just as the outside washroom door slammed shut.

“There’s William now.” Aunt Fannie disappeared. Moments later she was back with Uncle William by her side.

Miriam glanced up at her uncle, but he didn’t appear troubled. Aunt Fannie hadn’t told him yet. She almost wished Uncle William already knew. He might offer her words of comfort or direction. Back in Possum Valley,
Daett
would have something to say about the situation.

“Long day at the schoolhouse?” Uncle William regarded her with a steady gaze.

“Just the usual.” Miriam forced a smile. “I enjoy my job, and it’s
gut
to be back.”

“You look upset. Did you and Wayne have a tiff this morning?” Uncle William appeared puzzled. “He did speak with you in the barn, didn’t he?”

Aunt Fannie interrupted before Miriam could answer. “We’ll talk about this later, William. Supper is waiting, and Miriam is starving.”

“So am I.” The puzzlement hadn’t left Uncle William’s voice. “I declare, Wayne was distracted all day.”

“Don’t mention Wayne!” Aunt Fannie ordered. “Not now—later after we’ve eaten!”

“Why? What’s happened?” Uncle William wasn’t dissuaded so easily.

“Later, I said!” Aunt Fannie pulled on his arm. “Come and eat, please.”

Uncle William gave in with a grudging smile. “I’m sorry, Miriam, if I was interfering.”

They all took their seats at the kitchen table. To Miriam’s surprise, the soup looked good. She hadn’t thought she could eat a thing, but hunger stirred in her stomach. Maybe this was the Lord strengthening her so she could go on?

Miriam bowed her head as Uncle William prayed:

Thank You, dear Lord, for Your grace and mercy today. Thank You that we had customers at the greenhouse and can make a living. Thank You for this
wunderbah
food that Fannie has prepared. Bless the work of her hands and her willing heart. Bless also our home. And remember Wayne and Miriam tonight. Amen.

“Amen,” Aunt Fannie echoed.

Miriam bit her lip to keep back the tears.

Chapter Seventeen

T
he Sunday noon meal had been over for some time, and the press of women cleaning the dishes in Deacon Phillips’s kitchen was intense. Miriam slipped into the washroom to catch her breath. No one would notice, as there were plenty of hands to help with the work. The truth was, she wanted to get away from Esther Swartz’s smiling face. The young woman had been practically glowing all day, which had confirmed Miriam’s worst fears. She hadn’t dared look at Wayne during the service, and he had to have noticed. That is, if he still cared about her. His brief words from yesterday held little comfort today.

Oh, why was this happening all over again? She couldn’t believe it. Was it the money’s fault? That seemed like a likely explanation. Was she being punished by God? She ought to go to the bank and ask for the whole amount in cash, and then tear every dollar bill to shreds. But no, that would be foolish. There must be another way.

Miriam straightened her
kapp
as the knob to the outside door
turned. Had some woman forgotten her shawl? A gasp escaped her when Wayne appeared in the doorway.

“Did I startle you?” His grin was nervous.

“Well, I…” The rest of the words stuck in her throat.

Wayne tilted his head. “I thought maybe I could see you this afternoon instead of after the hymn singing. Or both times maybe? Unless your uncle might object, of course.”

“He wouldn’t,” Miriam said. Her thoughts were spinning.

“Shall I take you home then?” Wayne asked, still at the doorway.

“
Yah
, if you want to.” The words tumbled out.

Wayne nodded and vanished into the house. How had he known she was in the washroom? The thought whirled through Miriam’s mind. In the crowded kitchen she would have been almost invisible. He must have kept close track of her movements to have seen her enter here. Warmth spread into her cheeks. Maybe he does still care. Maybe there is a perfect explanation for what had happened between Wayne and Esther while she’d been gone. This trouble might go away like a bad dream. Perhaps she’d awaken from this nightmare to find Esther back in Possum Valley and life going on like it had been.

“Fat chance,” Miriam muttered. She slipped back into the kitchen and leaned against the counter. The first of the women appeared ready to leave as the kitchen was spotless by now. Every dish had been washed and returned to its place. Deacon Phillips’s
frau
, Katie, could relax this afternoon after everyone had left. Miriam frowned. Now, if only she could relax, but wild and conflicting thoughts kept racing through her head. She needed to get answers out of Wayne this afternoon or she’d lose her sanity for sure.