Authors: Dee Winter
I almost cannot even speak but I do. “Thank you. I
love it. It’s just beautiful. All of it.”
We head back downstairs, me sliding down on my bottom,
bumping down one step at a time. “Why don’t you go and sit in the living
room?” Heather says. “Would you like a cup of tea?”
“Ok. Yes, please, I would like tea, thank you.” I
say, shuffling through the glass bead curtain that makes a noise like a
waterfall as I walk through.
“What type of tea?”
“What type? Err. A tea-bag’s fine. PG Tips?”
“No, I mean would you like Herbal, Green, Earl Grey or
of course, if you want you can have PG Tips. We have that too. Just I
wondered if you would like to try something else.”
“Err. Ok, I’ll try Earl Grey. That sounds interesting.”
As I wait while she is in the kitchen, I’m still looking everywhere at
everything. I suddenly see on the top of her mantelpiece a photo. The wooden
frame is brown like burnt sugar, so dark you cannot see the grain. Maybe nine
inches wide. Seven inches deep. Soft, rounded edges polished like marble. Delicate
diamonds of lattice on each edge. I recognise both the faces within but
Heather looks different in the gloom. Her face looks shiny. She is wearing a
lot of makeup, far more than I have seen before. Her hair even more messy and
wild, with bright colours, pinks and green, she looks a different in the dim
light. There is a boy in the picture too wearing a cap. I feel like I’ve seen
him before as well. The background is dark and dingy. They’re sitting down on
boxy seats. They are dressed up for a night out, bare shoulders and skin, her heavy
tattoos on show. They’re in a bar, maybe it’s a club.
Heather then comes in carrying two deep purple mugs. “Where
is this?” I ask. “I think I’ve been in clubs like that, with the red and
black... In fact, I think I’ve been there...” and then the air closes in
around me, the bubble is burst.
Her amber eyes widen like they’re breathing in,
stretching out, then they shrink up slightly. “Don’t be alarmed. Please...” She
says, shaking her head.
They are the people I saw in the club on Friday. This
is one of the photos they took.
“I saw you, Friday night, in the club. I called you
Alana. I thought you were her. My friend. Only when I looked closer I saw
that you were too young but I wanted you to be her. I thought maybe she just
hadn’t aged. You looked like she did five years ago, before she went missing.
We used to go clubbing with her all the time. She used to take a lot of drugs,
bad things, like cocaine, then heroin eventually. She went missing after a
night out a few years ago. No trace. Presumed dead. Her family said she had
gone abroad. But I don’t think she would have gone without saying goodbye.
You looked so much like her. I couldn’t help but stare at you. You looked
troubled too, in need of help.”
“I could see your aura at the nightclub. You had a
unique aura, like Alana did. You stood out. I remember it clearly. I understood.
I saw red which tells me you are creative, seek change, and are quick
tempered. Straw yellow too, meaning you are a daydreamer and charcoal grey,
you feel trapped and depressed. Basically I don’t want to sound like a
preacher to you now, but you needed to change. It was doing you no good at
all, whatever it was you were doing. Your pupils were huge, your face sweaty.
You looked like you didn’t know what planet you were on. Your jaw was
grinding, your eyes all over the place. Then I saw the bruises. Those dark
marks all over you. I knew someone had been hurting you. Part of your aura
was black. This to me signalled abuse. You have been ill-treated in some way
and when I saw the bruises on your skin, I just knew. To be honest, you looked
a mess. I couldn’t save my friend but I wanted to save you. I wanted to help
you. I wanted to help you change.”
“This is just weird. Did you know I lived downstairs
before you moved in?”
“No. No, only when I saw you outside on Saturday. I
was a little shocked. It really is a small world but I think maybe this is
meant to be. Maybe I really can help you. I just don’t want you to be freaked
out by me. I know it’s weird. Call it what you want, luck, fate, an
opportunity. I think that maybe I’ve just come along at the right time, and it
just so happens that I have the right place too.”
“So I guess that explains why you were being so weird
in the club. I can remember you now. You proper freaked me out. I thought it
was you that was off your face. What happened to that guy you were with? Was
that your boyfriend?”
“No, that was just my friend. Steve. He’s my old
flatmate. He didn’t want me bothering you. He thinks I’m crazy. I know in my
heart Alana’s dead. He keeps telling me. But I will never give up hope of
seeing her. I really thought for a second that you were her and when I saw
that you needed saving too, I wanted to help you. Of course, Steve said I just
can’t go up to someone and say I want to save them. I would sound like some
sort of religious cult. But I knew I could help you. Take you away from your
life. The bad things. Now I’ve been given the opportunity to. But please, I
don’t want you to be afraid. I’m not the weirdo if you think I am. I can help
you. I can be there for you.”
“But where’s Steve gone? Your flat mate?”
“He’s gone to Goa for three months. He left on Sunday.
They went to the airport from here.” My memory recalls a picture in my mind of
the two men on the steps with suitcases. My dripping bin bag in hand. “You
will get to meet him again at some point. It’s very quiet without him here already.
It will be even more so when you two below have moved tomorrow. I’m looking
forward to having your company, I hope. I don’t like to be lonely. I don’t
think anybody does.”
“You’ve got the dog?” I hazard, but she laughs
gently, still smiling.
“It’s true, I do, but even Sassy doesn’t make up for
human company. I would love you to live with me. Really. At least give it a
trial run. Give it a month. See if you like it. Let’s see how we get on,
hey? How do you feel about it now?”
“I think it should be ok.” Inside I feel a bit like
she’s opened me up with a scalpel on the operating table, exposing my insides
to the whole entire world. But still, I trust her. I am still smiling. After
everything I have already felt to compare this to, I feel fine. She means
good. I see it. This still feels like the right thing to do.
“There will be some house rules. I’m sure you will
understand. Firstly you should know we live pretty organically here. I try
not to eat too much meat. No processed foods like sausage or burgers. Only free
range eggs. We grow some of our own vegetables in the garden. We didn’t think
it would be fair on Sassy to be entirely vegetarian. She likes her dog food.
No alcohol or drugs are allowed in the house. You can smoke in the garden, but
really I would prefer it if you didn’t. You know you can smell a person who
smokes in a house of non-smokers like an ashtray at your bedside. With the
chores there are no hard and fast rules, I won’t be drawing up a wall chart or
anything. But if you see something that’s dirty, clean it. If you want
something to eat, make dinner. If the cupboards run low, go shopping. Common
sense really. Rob said that you are very house proud and that you like to cook
and clean. Well this will be your home too now Ella so I want you to be proud
of your home. Of course I will help you. I won’t expect you to do
everything. I will cook and clean as well. We can go shopping together. Of
course, I don’t expect you to be anything like a slave here but in return for
helping out, you live rent-free. If you’re working in the pub, you can help
maybe with the bills here and there when you can afford it. Like I said, get
the shopping when you can. Does that sound ok?”
“Yes. I think your offer’s too generous. I don’t
deserve this.”
“There’s one final thing you must know. I won’t stand
for laziness. You will go to college, every day, unless you are sick or dead.
If you’re at home and not sick, you go. If I find out you’re bunking off, I
change the locks. There is no key on a string here.”
“What?” I say, spluttering on my Earl Grey. “How do
you know about the key?”
“Come on Ella, I think the whole street knows… I’m
amazed more people weren’t coming and going from your house all day long.”
“Here...” She says passing me a small silver key on
yellow plastic smiley face key chain. I feel like I’ve been handed a winning
lottery ticket, and all warm and bursty inside, tingling all over, high as the
sky. Who knew such a small piece of steel could make someone so happy. “Anyway,
I want to you feel at home. I’m going to take Sassy out for a walk now. You
can look around and get to know the place, so you feel comfortable. I’m just
going to the park. I’ll be about an hour. So settle in, look round, make
yourself feel at home.”
“Thank you.” I say, staying seated. She clips a lead
on to Sassy’s collar and out they go, closing the door behind them with a
gentle clunk.
I don’t feel sad, but I know I’m crying, again. I put
my other hand to my cheek and feel the warm tiny splashes, and through a little
teardrop that now clings to my lashes, I am sure that I can see a little rainbow.