Authors: Dee Winter
TABLE OF CONTENTS
A giant lizard eats people in my dream and I wake with
a jolt. Roar! A pain spikes in my chest like a mini heart attack. I gasp for
air like I have been holding my breath the whole night. I force myself to sit
up. I then stand on the cold carpet in the dark. I smile, stretch out my arms
and do a little dance. I bang my hip on the door frame as I head to the
bathroom. Ouch. Another purple bruise. I quickly wash, dress, make up and
leave.
I wait an eternity for the traffic lights to change so
I can cross the death-trap road and get in to the grand old college building. I
hear the hum of voices and smell coffee and fruit juice. The cloakroom lady
says good morning and tells me my fly is undone. I go into the toilets that
smell strongly of bleach and I check myself. I don’t look too bad. My hood
has made my hair flat so I scrunch up my black curls with cold water and make
them wetter still. It’s too hot in college to wear my coat. They crank up the
heating in here like we are in the Arctic. I stroll out in a vest and scarf,
coat in hand, my jumper tied round my waist. I grab a skinny latte and a
double espresso for the buzz. When I get to my class it’s nearly empty. I
think most of my course group are nocturnal, vampires, out at night and asleep during
the day. I count five including me, not too bad a turnout for 9am. I drink my
coffees and feel supercharged. I check the time on my phone and it’s nearly
09:20. I now think there is no class and since no one else appears to be doing
anything I ring the department secretaries to find out where our teacher is.
“Oh no,” she says, “he’s not in today”. So I write on
the board, NO CLASS, big and clumsy in my marker pen that maybe shouldn’t be
used on a whiteboard. I find myself with time to kill until my afternoon lesson
starts. None of my college mates have shown up so early. I wish now I’d
stayed in bed too, but then I think back to Benny who was sparko, snoring and
farting like a terror. The lounge-about doesn’t start work usually until about
ten, gets up at five minutes to. Instead I walk up the long main road to the
local market. The morning drizzle has cleared and the sun shines cold in the
fresh air. I say local, it’s a fair-a-long walk against the traffic. I stare back
at the drivers that stare at me.
I stroll on through the market. I can smell cut oranges
on the fruit stalls and car exhaust from the road. The wide-boys at their
stalls shout darling this and sweetheart that. I act deaf and take my phone
out of my pocket. Scroll through to my rock. My brother Roberto.
Ring
ring, ring ring
. I’ve forgotten it’s early.
Ring ring, ring ring
. Damn.
He must have it on silent. I’ll fly round there. A quick bus ride and I’m at
the steps to the basement front door. I can hear him snoring loud from here. I
crouch down by the door, put my hand through the letterbox and feel for the key
on a string. There was no need. As I push on the damp peeling wood, it’s
open. Careless! And there he is on the small hard brown sofa, sprawled like a
starfish belly up, head tilted back, mouth open, like a big O. I put the
kettle on. I make us both coffees and carry the chipped blue and white mugs
back into the lounge. He’s still lounging back and snoring. I steady the cups
on the cluttered mantelpiece.
BLAM! I leap on him. He takes two seconds to wake
up. He squawks, grabs my arms, swings me round, my back on the sofa. He pins
my wrists above my head with one big hand and starts poking me in the ribs until
I scream. “Are you sorry?” He says.
“No!” I scream.
“You’re not sorry!?” He says.
“Yes!” I scream.
“You’re not sorry!!” He yells.
“Ok ok, yes! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” I scream and
scream. He lets go. The upstairs neighbour starts banging something above and
I think the ceiling might fall in like it did before. I laugh at the memory
then listen. Where he’s gone? I hear him peeing with the door open and think
he must be claustrophobic. I tell him about his coffee as I drink mine. I eat
a stale digestive biscuit out of an already open packet on the squat brown coffee
table. It makes me feel sick. “You been sleeping long?” I shout at him.
“No,” he says.
“Good,” I cheek.
“It’s good you woke me,” he says. I stand and watch
him put his big, short-shaven head under the mixer tap and rub it dry with a small
brown towel. I shiver.
“Where are we going?” He looks at me with a look that
says you shouldn’t bother asking. He knows I’m going with him. I pass him his
coffee and he sips it slow, like a granny, pinky lifted. I tell him. He
threatens to chuck it over my head. I smile at him and lose myself in his
intense sparkling silver-grey eyes.
“Ok. Let’s get a move on Skit,” he says and we’re off.
He drives a big, black, shiny wheeled, low slung car with a fat exhaust pipe. It
growls like a beast which is not so good for me. I have to lie low in my seat
and be ready to duck, just in case I see Benny or one of his crew. Benny knows
I love him and knows Rob and me are just tight, tight as un-popped rosebuds
maybe but brother and sister for Christ’s sake. He doesn’t care. He thinks
like that, like something might be going on with my own brother. Sick I know,
but he’ll have no problem slapping my face, burning my ear for not telling him
or his mates making up some crap about seeing stuff they never did see. It’s
crazy. They’re all crazy. Anyway, it’s just easier that he doesn’t know.
“So, where are we going?” I ask impatiently.
He answers, “Go and get Ruby.” His baby. I say baby
she is in nursery now. I’ve known her since she was a tiny baby. I’m her
Auntie Ella. Ellie she calls me, which I don’t mind. But no-one else is
allowed to call me that. She stays with her grandparents most of the time now and
Marcia lives there too sometimes, when she’s not shacked up with a new
boyfriend.
Rob says Ruby’s not at school today because it’s the
teacher’s day off. “Ah… so that’s why my teacher’s not in today too. Must be college
teachers as well...”
“Erm, I don’t think it’s the same,” he says and looks
at me, one eyebrow raised. “It’s something to do with the nursery’s teacher
training. Not your college.”
“Derr!” I say, “My college tutors are teachers, they
get training too.”
“I don’t think it’s the same,” he says again, exhaling,
shaking his head. But I’m convinced. I’m not going back in to college today.
“So where are we going?” I say.
“I told you already, to get Ruby.”
“No, I mean after we got her, where we going? Somewhere
fun I hope.” In my head I think we could go to an amusement arcade or even to
the coast for the day. I can talk Rob into almost anything. I can taste sweet
candyfloss and hear the fruit machines ring, the seagulls squawk and feel the dry
sand under my bare feet and his phone rudely rings interrupting my dreamy
thoughts. I tut and frown a little. He looks at me like
what,
and answers
his phone. It’s a one-way conversation. He hardly speaks. Does not even say
hello, just ‘yeah’ and ‘yeah’ again, he listens more, and then hangs up. I
know better than to ask.
When we get to Ruby’s house she’s not sitting in the
bay window like usual. He batters on the door
bosh-bosh
and it rattles
in its frame. Mrs. Diaz answers trying not to look scared but I see it in her
eyes, fear illuminating them, as she half-hides behind the door. She’s wearing
her baby blue dressing gown and matching fluffy slippers with the little heels.
“Sorry. You’re wasting your time,” she says crossly. “Ruby’s not here. Or
Marcia.”
“Oh but Mrs. Diaz, we were going to go to the seaside
today.” I say with disappointment clear in my voice. Rob looks at me like
what?
again and then turns back to Mrs. Diaz.
“Where are they?” He says quietly and quickly, almost
so I can’t hear. He raises his arm and plants an elbow into the corner of the
door frame and puts his foot through the door. Mrs. Diaz sees what he’s done
and doesn’t say anything. She just turns and walks into the house, down the
hallway, to the kitchen, with Rob following. I wait outside and smoke a
cigarette. I don’t like fireworks. In less than two minutes he’s back with a
face like thunder. I jump off the wall and hug him round his middle. He acts
indifferent but doesn’t push me away.
“S’ok,” I whisper.
“No, it’s not ok. It’s meant to be my weekend. They
can’t mess me around like this,” he says. True, I think but say nothing. Rob
looks like he might explode. I know he won’t but I know why.
Jamie
. Marcia’s
new boyfriend. Jamie is trouble and all buddied-up with Tony, Marcia’s brother.
Jamie, Tony and I think one other guy share a flat so Marcia goes there a lot.
Marcia stays at home with her mum and Ruby the rest of the time.
“Where are they? The flat? Where?” I ask. I have got
bad feeling in my belly.
Mrs Diaz says they might be at the Hovel. That’s
possibly even worse.
As we get there, before I’m even out of the car the
thought of going in makes me shudder. Rob says, “You’re coming with me,
right?” The thought repulses me but I will go. I’m his cool head. If Ruby is
in there, I have to get her away quick, just in case anything kicks off. We
walk together up the path. I tread carefully stepping aside the dog mess, beer
cans, bottles, trying to keep to grass and solid ground and not the rubbish. Well
I’m tiptoeing, Rob’s stomping his big, booted feet any place he likes. He
hammers hard on the door and we wait about two minutes before someone with lots
of dark hair on their head, face and body answers. I have no idea who this is,
not one I’ve seen before. Rob just pushes past him and I totter in behind and
say ‘Hi’ before going in quickly after Rob. It’s like walking into a brick
wall of stench, smoke, weed and unwashed bodies. I walk speedily past the
ferrets in the cage in the hallway. Rob’s already bounded up the stairs. I
try to keep up and run two stairs at a time but he’s at the top before I’m even
half way. I have a feeling I might be needed pretty soon.